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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Guys don't want to be just friends, but girls do, why is that?      Mod Threads Home login  
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 Author Thread: Guys don't want to be just friends, but girls do, why is that?
 XSTAR69

Joined: 10/21/2007
Msg: 176
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Guys don't want to be just friends, but girls do, why is that?
Posted: 1/31/2008 7:46:21 AM
That not true, I live on the beach for 26 yrs and i had hundrens of girl-friends, i had my party girl-friends, social girl-friends, and bed buddies girl- friends, you see most woman love to socialize and flirt with anybody, as long as their no pressure from you, you have to respect were their coming from, but dont dump them if they wont sleep or go out with you. girls will talk to their girlfriends about you and tell them how nice of a guy you are,exc,exc,exc. And looks are not really important, look around you see it everywhere beautifull woman with nasty looking partner before you know it one of their girlfriends might be interest in you, that how i met my beautiful wife, she was the total opposite of what i was looking for in a woman. you have to build a network of different girl- friends and dont try to be a player all the time.
 darkchocolat23

Joined: 2/23/2006
Msg: 177
Guys don't want to be just friends, but girls do, why is that?
Posted: 1/31/2008 9:30:06 AM

Ok guys...here's the deal. If you are in the category of "friend" we are not physically attracted to you. We have found something in you that is a turn off...but not enough to discount you as a friend. The fact that you are a friend does mean, however, that should that thing that we found in you to discount you as "lover" is fixed....you can then move up the ladder to "lover".


great post......... Dont know about the fixable they can ever become though........once they turn me off, it sticks!
 Doc5000

Joined: 12/10/2007
Msg: 178
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Guys don't want to be just friends, but girls do, why is that?
Posted: 1/31/2008 5:56:54 PM
Think about it. If a guy wants to have fun, he goes out with the guys. He goes out with women if he wants to have sex. Women often go out with guys just because they want to have fun. If they want to have sex, they go out with guys then, too. Draw your own conclusions...
 AManofAdventure

Joined: 12/6/2007
Msg: 179
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Guys don't want to be just friends, but girls do, why is that?
Posted: 2/1/2008 9:26:20 PM
Remember, it wasn't John's bowling partner that broke up the Beatles.

 destruction

Joined: 5/14/2006
Msg: 180
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Guys don't want to be just friends, but girls do, why is that?
Posted: 2/2/2008 12:45:15 AM

I had to go look at the laddertheory site. What a load of BS. It's obviously written by some guy who has no respect whatsoever for women. It doesn't matter how women answer his questions, he boils it all down to mean they're looking for a rich guy. And he's spouting that whiny a** thing that self-proclaimed "nice guys" always spout..that we're looking for guys who'll treat us poorly. Anyone who believes that crap is an idiot.


Well, I don't know how much/little respect he has for women, and I'll agree nobody likes to be abused besides mentally ill people, but... it sure doesn't seem that this guy is a self-proclaimed 'nice guy'.

Yeah, some of it is unnecessarily harsh/rude, but there's a WHOLE ton of truth regarding the 'ladder'.
 psylocke23

Joined: 1/3/2008
Msg: 181
Guys don't want to be just friends, but girls do, why is that?
Posted: 2/4/2008 8:20:55 AM
There are lots of good guys that I know who I'd like to be friends with... but they don't want to be just friends.. and they'd be gone as soon as they know that that's just what I can offer.
 Captain Incognito

Joined: 1/31/2008
Msg: 182
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Guys don't want to be just friends, but girls do, why is that?
Posted: 2/4/2008 8:34:38 AM
I know for me, I have lots of women friends that I find attractive, but that's not why I'm their friend. Not saying I would turn it away if things went that direction. I would rather not loose the friendship if it came down to that.
 destinationsrb

Joined: 8/9/2007
Msg: 183
Guys don't want to be just friends, but girls do, why is that?
Posted: 2/4/2008 8:45:45 AM
having three daughters, 18, 23 and 26, it appears their generation has leaped this hurdle..sure, they have bf's and gf's but they tend to run in "packs" with guys and girls who seem to be perfectly fine with being each other's friends...as a father do i suspect the guys have lecherous thoughts? Of course, they are genetically preconditioned (I believe all men are born with the "pond scum" gene; it's just a matter of how each of us chooses to control it or exhibit it!), but by and large there are plenty of friendships....maybe the kids finally figured this one out.
 ~*Angel Eyes*~

Joined: 2/17/2008
Msg: 184
Guys don't want to be just friends, but girls do, why is that?
Posted: 3/26/2008 12:28:25 AM
*Sigh* Right now, I want just friends, I don't want to rush into dating anyone...but guys always seem pushy...it's always all or nothing.... I can't take it as slow as I want, and I am giving up.
 rebelinlex

Joined: 3/11/2007
Msg: 185
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Guys don't want to be just friends, but girls do, why is that?
Posted: 3/26/2008 12:52:44 AM

Ok guys...here's the deal. If you are in the category of "friend" we are not physically attracted to you. We have found something in you that is a turn off...but not enough to discount you as a friend. The fact that you are a friend does mean, however, that should that thing that we found in you to discount you as "lover" is fixed....you can then move up the ladder to "lover".

damn, how many different ways can a man or woman say guy friends are a****in a jar, put on the shelf for future reference, if need be? seems all the posts start out......no, heres how it is, but say the same thing afterwards....to make it fair, use the pay as you go system... you want a guy friend, but hes not "lover" material... ok, fine... at 6am, when your tire is flat, and your ***hole boyfriend wont help you, be at the ready to give it up, before the tire is changed. that way you dont get all greasy, you get your tired changed, and your ***hole boyfriend dont have to get out of bed to help his lover. i personally dont operate that way, and i have proof from someone on here of that, but the way this thread was going, and some of the thoughts behind the topic, i felt that needed to be said for those that have a "guy friend mechanic", "a guy friend plumber", a guy friend electrican", etc... i think you get the point...
 hilltop70

Joined: 3/4/2008
Msg: 186
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Guys don't want to be just friends, but girls do, why is that?
Posted: 3/26/2008 7:18:09 AM
having been a "professional friend" through most of my life i agree with the sentiment that there is some hidden agenda and also if you are a "friend" why is there a need to comment on my dating habits if u are afriend unless u hada hidden agenda.
 Artistee

Joined: 7/24/2006
Msg: 187
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Guys don't want to be just friends, but girls do, why is that?
Posted: 3/26/2008 8:21:28 AM
Who knows?...It depends upon whom you ask...and how they percieve the "friends" classification...and whether they tag the "with benefits" phrase onto it...

I love modern times...there's always a selfish-minded justification for every action!
 Starr6966

Joined: 3/20/2008
Msg: 188
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Guys don't want to be just friends, but girls do, why is that?
Posted: 3/26/2008 11:18:46 AM
I love it ! I laughed so hard my sides hurt. Women who tell me that they are "just friends" with a guy ... i know their full of doo doo. One of the two of them is hoping for sex
 happyboi

Joined: 12/8/2006
Msg: 189
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Guys don't want to be just friends, but girls do, why is that?
Posted: 3/26/2008 7:38:49 PM
I have gotten to the point, of turning down, "just friends". I am a nice enough guy that I seem to have gotten saddled with a LOT of friends... yet, no relationship, which is ultimately what I want. I have been cutting the friends ties, since they end up taking more of my time than I want. Not to mention, if I ever DO find a woman, I will probably just drift away, anyhow.
 fly0nthewall

Joined: 3/18/2008
Msg: 190
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Guys don't want to be just friends, but girls do, why is that?
Posted: 3/26/2008 7:42:48 PM
That's sort of unfair, dontcha think? Some of my best friends are guys. Granted, all but one of them is gay, but the one close (straight) male friend I have has known me almost 25 years. We met in kindergarten, and we're more like brother and sister than anything else.

I love it ! I laughed so hard my sides hurt. Women who tell me that they are "just friends" with a guy ... i know their full of doo doo. One of the two of them is hoping for sex
 Larissan04

Joined: 4/28/2004
Msg: 191
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Guys don't want to be just friends, but girls do, why is that?
Posted: 3/27/2008 1:26:49 PM
women aren't as physical. there is a mental -emotional -psychological element that creates attraction for her. this is why one will see very attractive women with men that might not be all that attractive. that's why someone like a paulina poriskova (spelling? sorry... can't spell her last name) could be with a man who looks like ric ocasek. too her, ric is adorable. same goes with other women. a man can be average and still get a hot woman if he has the personality that appeals to her.

if a woman puts you in the friend catagory that means she isnt in to you. she thinks of you as just that: a friend.

lar
 ForeverLong

Joined: 11/22/2007
Msg: 192
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Guys don't want to be just friends, but girls do, why is that?
Posted: 3/27/2008 2:37:49 PM
It's convenient and economical to call a gullible guy friend when they need help moving or a ride somewhere, or maybe a free dinner or movie.
 chasmansonjr

Joined: 3/23/2008
Msg: 193
Guys don't want to be just friends, but girls do, why is that?
Posted: 3/27/2008 2:45:11 PM
if a woman isn't putting out, then often times she's not worthy of the man's time, UNLESS she actually has a personality and that's not all too common.

now, as far as women wanting to be friends with a man, it is probably from him being able to be USEFUL to her if one moment she feels bored or simply feeling safe by having a psychological feeling that some guy is there for her.
 mullynsculder

Joined: 3/18/2008
Msg: 194
Guys don't want to be just friends, but girls do, why is that?
Posted: 3/27/2008 3:02:24 PM
There are different kinds of friendships between men and women. There are indeed women who use their guy friends as crying shoulders because they have an azzhole for a boyfriend. But they don;t want to leave the azzhole because that's the kind of men they are sexually attracted to. Basically, women like this divide up their relationships between the sexual one with their boyfriend (sexual but not emotionally intimate) and the big warm cuddly guy friend who is always there for them (but who longs for the day when the woman finally sees that he is the best guy for her).

But there also are real friendships between men and women that don't fall into the above scenario. It's possible for men and women to develop close relationships that don't involve sex. It requires a lot of maturity.

So a guy needs to make his choice and live with the results. The fault isn't with the woman who wants you for emotional support. The fault is with the guy who is willing to put up with the situation.

To Message 183: I've observed what you talk about with my teen daughters as well. It's cool to see. The boys and girls all hang out together, and maybe occasionally two of them might become a "thing", but it's mostly just running around in a group together.
 Larissan04

Joined: 4/28/2004
Msg: 195
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Guys don't want to be just friends, but girls do, why is that?
Posted: 3/28/2008 9:40:55 AM
mullynsculder~

i have a little test for you. if you want to know what type of woman you are dealing with, ask her if she thinks Bronte's Heathcliff was a psychopathic brute, or if he was the romantic lover of her dreams... if she answers yes to the first, then she won't date a a**hole. if she answers yes to the second, well, you know you have a troubled woman on your hands and she will be calling you for a shoulder to cry on...and lord knows what else... to fix her toliet...change her tire...hang a picture... install a light fixture... she is not the kind of woman to be "friends" with... because you end up being more handy man then friend... women like this are users...and most likely psychos themselves...

just my two cents...

oh me? i think heathcliff was a complete jerk. what sort of woman could fall for a guy that kills puppies and smacks her around?

lar
 StrangerInTheHouse

Joined: 2/9/2008
Msg: 196
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Guys don't want to be just friends, but girls do, why is that?
Posted: 3/28/2008 9:57:27 AM
I think women are more practical when it comes to relationships, but they also love to be admired...

they're kind of like cats. If you admire them, they'll let you do alot of things... they'll even let you feed them, but DON'T PICK THEM UP!!!!



Guys may like to hang around with them if they think they have a chance... or maybe even after they understand the way things are, they'll keep hanging around just because they like the way things are... but it gets old fast unless there's something else going on.

Sorry ladies... that's the way it is, though.
 good guy75

Joined: 3/25/2008
Msg: 197
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Guys don't want to be just friends, but girls do, why is that?
Posted: 4/30/2008 11:41:48 AM
thats not true most women say that but most want what you want.for some reason women want you to chase them i said some they play hard to get then they get to nkow you and they will tell you this its a game and for me a waist of time because if you like somebody you like them.remember when you were in school and you wrote a girl a letter asking to be her boy freind she said yes or no i respect that.now the reason why people dont fall in love is because we make are lives to complicated peace.
 R.O.

Joined: 1/9/2008
Msg: 198
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Guys don't want to be just friends, but girls do, why is that?
Posted: 4/30/2008 3:16:59 PM
Because women have two ladders: the friendship ladder and the sex ladder. Guys only have one ladder, the sex ladder.

Guy ladders are easy to understand. If the girl doesn't look good, then she is low on the ladder. If the girl looks good, she is high on the ladder. Pretty simple.

Girl ladders are bit more complicated. Men who get placed on the friend ladder haven't satisfied the criteria for sex. This criteria is based on money/power, physical attractiveness, and novelty. If you don't meet any of those criteria, you get put on the friend ladder.

Now let's get scientific. The reason why guys can't be friends with girls they are attracted to is because girls are bette communicaters and talkers. Girls use 20,000 different words a day and guys only use 7,000. Girls are all over the place when they talk jumping from topic to topic. Dudes tend to focus on one subject at a time.

Now I don't know about you, but I can only be focused on a girls beauty while a girl could be interested in everything about me all at once. I am a terrible friend to attractive women because I just don't listen to what they are saying. If I start listening, I am automatically not attracted to her anymore because I have to become more like a girl in order to be her friend which is something I definitely don't want to do.
 Ignorancisbliss

Joined: 4/25/2008
Msg: 199
Guys don't want to be just friends, but girls do, why is that?
Posted: 4/30/2008 3:24:39 PM
Quote......."To a female a "Guy Friend" is a "D I C K in a glass jar, break in case of emergency"..............or Familiar Relationship If Emergency Need Does Surface...........
 R.O.

Joined: 1/9/2008
Msg: 200
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Guys don't want to be just friends, but girls do, why is that?
Posted: 4/30/2008 3:28:01 PM
Going back to what xstar69 was saying though, there is nothing wrong with being friends with unattractive women though. They can be your "girl-friends" because it is easier to focus on just talking to them and they can introduce you to other women. Of course you still have a desire to sex them and you definitely can if you are high on their sex ladder.

The only problem I have is that I find socializing and flirting with lots of women to be totally boring. But if you aren't a natural with women and you need help, being social with women is a huge advantage. If you looking for that special woman like that, then learning how to think like a girl is very important.
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