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| Same exact boat here
Posted: 7/24/2007 8:20:41 PM | I think it is a beautiful think.
I would totally respect that.
It is a good gift to give to the man who takes you as his wife.
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| No virgin....but saving self for marriage now....
Posted: 7/24/2007 8:46:50 PM | OP
I think its a fantastic idea to set those standards for yourself. If people can become born again christians why not born again virgins?
Seriously.
If you meet the right person who also has made that type of commitment it could work out wonderfully.
Many men are throwing obstacles in your way -- and while there is validity to many of the reactions; the truth of the matter is, if it's the right person none of that will matter. I think Marcus said it most succinctly when he asserted that its all about working together.
Myself, honestly --- I'd respect those wishes but honestly I don't think I could refrain from all intimate contact completely. I haven't read through the whole thread so I am not certain if you would still be willing to pleasure your partner -- just without penetration -- or if all sexual contact is off limits.
Either scenario -- its your rules and you will find someone who appreciates them and shares your commitment to them.
Good luck and I wish you success. | |
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eman07
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Joined: 6/30/2006
Msg: 105 | |
| Same exact boat here
Posted: 7/25/2007 12:31:57 AM |
It is a good gift to give to the man who takes you as his wife
gift?...what gift?...she has already had sex with other men.....
I dont understand why its a "gift" in the first place. Having sex is a intmate thing to do between couples, it should be viewed as that. It shouldnt be veiwed as the women is giving a man a "gift"...... | |
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| No virgin....but saving self for marriage now....
Posted: 7/25/2007 8:30:32 AM | Depends. If you can have an orgasm easily and are multi orgasminc then GO FOR IT. Waiting will be a blast. But if it takes you a real long time to have 'em, I would feel like it's a bait and switch kinda thing. From what I've experienced, you won't know unless you have sex first. How your bodies react and how you want them to react can be two completely different things. Sometimes you get a nice surprise, and sometimes not.
The REAL question is: Can you wait if it rocks your world? | |
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| Born Agains
Posted: 7/25/2007 4:16:40 PM | I think its a fantastic idea to set those standards for yourself. If people can become born again christians why not born again virgins?
Seriously.
OK. How about "born again playboy of the 1960s"? Those were high standards.
I think I will choose that born again option! 
Seriously! | |
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| Born Agains
Posted: 7/28/2007 10:38:54 AM | I just don't get it She's already had sex with god knows how many men what difference does it make?
"I think its a fantastic idea to set those standards for yourself. If people can become born again christians why not born again virgins? "
Either you're a virgin or not a virgin it can't be reversed.
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| No virgin....but saving self for marriage now....
Posted: 7/28/2007 10:51:04 AM | hey there OP
I read ur profile and you are well boyond your years .as far as maturity is concerned. YOu sound like a class act !!!
I was surprised to see/ read that most men were very accepting of your decision and that is a good sign (in today's world) . A few idiots bashed u but as usual..failed to read your point of view.
I wish u the best in search for whatever it is ur looking for. | |
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| No virgin....but saving self for marriage now....
Posted: 7/28/2007 11:01:15 AM | hello Zain,
If anything..my point was certainly not meant to you. However..don't feel the need to defend anyone. I don't need ur approval ...and yes I do consdier myself a class act.
The poster ..posted a private situation (in my opinion) and yes ur right..when u post ..u get EVERYTHING. ..the good. the bad. the ugly and everything in between.
so what is ur point again??????????????????????????? exactly !!! nothing. | |
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eman07
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Joined: 6/30/2006
Msg: 112 | |
| No virgin....but saving self for marriage now....
Posted: 7/28/2007 12:17:42 PM |
I was surprised to see/ read that most men were very accepting of your decision and that is a good sign (in today's world)
Dont beleive the hype, guys will TELL you this, but there isnt many guys who would actually continue to date after knowing that she will not have sex until marriage. If she wants to do it...then so be it...im not dogging her for it, My whole point was what every one is calling it some "gift" and that is a "class act" for her to do it.
first and foremost, and womans vagina is not a gift to me. Its a intimate moment between people, and it should be viewed as such.
as far as the class act thing goes....it doesnt make her a class act if all of a sudden she doesnt sleep around, it makes her a person who is making better decisions in life.
failed to read your point of view.
her point of view is pretty basic, she is gonna wait for marriage to have sex.....most guys will not wait..how is that not seeing her point of view?
I wont wait, it doesnt make me an idiot, it doesnt make me a bad person either...it makes us two different people...thats all.... | |
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| No virgin....but saving self for marriage now....
Posted: 7/28/2007 4:49:15 PM | To each his own, they did it up until the 60's (or at least were discreet about it) Men had no problem with it then, they didn't want women that slept around, they wanted wives ( that they didn't have to worry ,their friends had first) i myself, feel somewhat the same way, i was married a long time, then engaged, now single and dating, but saving myself for someone i really care for, and really cares for me, It will mean something special, not just a an animal instinct, Humans have brains and emotions
Hooray for you, and your morals | |
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| No virgin....but saving self for marriage now....
Posted: 7/28/2007 10:19:10 PM | .
Not that the woman will waver in her decision, but how would men deal with this issue?
Interesting question. I think I would treat it with good humor, as I do most things. That is, in this case I would be chuckling as I’m waving good bye. 
Later, the OP asks:
Isn't delayed gratification a sign of maturity?!
No it is not. Not when you’re talking hours, days or weeks, anyway. I couldn’t imagine being in love with someone and not also wanting to share everything about ourselves.
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| No virgin....but saving self for marriage now....
Posted: 7/29/2007 4:02:58 AM |
Hey guys....what do you think of dating a woman that has had plenty of fabulous sex in her life, but has since decided to wait for marriage with the right guy? Not that the woman will waver in her decision, but how would men deal with this issue? Just curious!
Because I am not religious, the dating wouldn't last because I ain't gonna go without. All this saving yourself for marriage is the biggest load of **** | |
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| No virgin....but saving self for marriage now....
Posted: 7/29/2007 10:20:39 PM | "so what is ur point again??????????????????????????? exactly !!! nothing."
This isn't a real-time discussion honey you need to give the person a chance to answer back, and apparently reading isn't one of your strong points. I established my point many posts ago.
"yes I do consdier myself a class act"
It's called sarcasm, look it up.
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| No virgin....but saving self for marriage now....
Posted: 7/30/2007 12:15:05 AM | There is no way I would wait. I would not even wait for a virgin. There is no logical reason why an arbitrary event like marriage should determine when I have sex. IF I ever waited to have sex with a woman the marriage would not guarantee commitment as I would get an annulment on the grounds of sexual incomparability if I did not enjoy sex with her.
IF I ever was with a woman that required this I would openly have sex with other women on the side. However, I would never be with a woman like this because as soon as she told me I would realize she is either stupid, playing games, leveraging, or selfish.
Now, like all the guys who said "yes" I would TELL her I was cool with it. However, if I saw her opinion was not changing then I would say see ya. | |
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| No virgin....but saving self for marriage now....
Posted: 7/30/2007 12:27:40 AM | .......My youth will come out on this one and say, "OUCH!!! Lady, please, your breaking my balls here."
But other than that, in a small way, to some guys, it would be slightly insulting if not entirely. My thoughts behind this lay within the fact that you said that you've already had plenty of fabulous sex in your life as it is, does this mean you'll brag about it in the faces of the men you date that you've had plenty and you're not giving them any.
Sorry, but to start those morals and values after experiencing in mass and try to go from hot to cold almost in an instant. Some guys on here can be nice and say they'd still date you, but personally, even if I was near a respectable age, I'll go off on a limb and say I'm the bad guy here and say hell no to you. | |
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| No virgin....but saving self for marriage now....
Posted: 7/30/2007 12:35:54 AM | | It wouldn't work for me. I want to live with someone a year before marriage and be at least 1.5 years beyond the first date. It is really important for me that everything work and sex is a major component of a healthy relationship. Besides, some people are sexually incompatible and it would be a shame if they found out after the marriage. | |
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| No virgin....but saving self for marriage now....
Posted: 12/6/2007 9:44:29 AM | Besides, why would a man buy a car without taking it for a test drive?
Say you go to the used car lot. You see a car that, because of all the people that have taken it for a test drive, is covered with dents, it's seats are worn out and the engine stalls. Is that a car that most people would consider buying?
It wouldn't work for me. I want to live with someone a year before marriage and be at least 1.5 years beyond the first date. It is really important for me that everything work and sex is a major component of a healthy relationship. Besides, some people are sexually incompatible and it would be a shame if they found out after the marriage.
People are making too big an issue of the compatibility issue. If you are married to the right person then you both will make an effort to satisfy each other.
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