eman07
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Joined: 6/30/2006
Msg: 126 | |
| No virgin....but saving self for marriage now....
Posted: 12/6/2007 12:24:48 PM |
People are making too big an issue of the compatibility issue. If you are married to the right person then you both will make an effort to satisfy each other.
three things ANY relationship needs..
1. trust
2 communication
3. sex
all these MUST be in good standing for ANY relationship to work. If you go into marriage with someone not knowing if one of those three will work or not work, your might not make it. Yes your right, sex MIGHT not be an issue when you get married, but then again it MIGHT not work, im not willing to take that chance......
Im not dogging anyone who wants to wait for marriage to have sex. That is your choice, I personally will NOT wait, that is my personal choice, it doesnt make you or me any better than anyone else. I just get really sick of the "moral" word get thrown around. Waiting till marriage to have sex doesnt make you any more "moral" than me or anybody else. | |
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| No virgin....but saving self for marriage now....
Posted: 2/20/2008 3:35:11 PM | Respect for the ladies boundaries is a vital part of respect, so if you don't respect that how can you have a good relationship with a lady who has decided to reserve sex for marriage? It seems to me you are wanting what makes you happy and not considering her. Personally I admire the ladies standards and prefer to respect them. A lot of my feelings on the matter are determined by my interpretation of the Bible and it's statement of "one flesh" being created in the sexual experience. If one flesh is created, then relationship attempted with another, there is interference created by the past unresolved attachment. I prefer a relationship without unresolved prior attachments.
Keep up your standards lady! | |
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| No virgin....but saving self for marriage now....
Posted: 2/20/2008 4:12:22 PM | | I'm not window shopping. If it comes down to the point where I think marriage could happen. I definitely want to know if you are good in bed. If you are terrible in bed that's a deal breaker. | |
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| No virgin....but saving self for marriage now....
Posted: 2/20/2008 4:48:03 PM | Lookwithin! :) I share the exact same thoughts as you! I will not be doing anything with any man until the one comes into my life who matches me in so many ways..... :) He must be my friend first. :)
Believing as Lookwithin and Kaag and myself believe has nothing to do with the fact of RED FLAGS or we have past baggage, rather we are EXTREMELY secure with ourselves...and there will be a man who will understand and respect that in each of us. | |
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| No virgin....but saving self for marriage now....
Posted: 2/20/2008 5:28:12 PM | So I'm supposed to pay with my life for what everybody else got for free?
Moreover, am I supposed to feel somehow honored? "She's not having sex with me, as she had with all those gangbangers and the highschool football team, it means she thinks I'm special".
Sorry, I have better things to do with my time. | |
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| No virgin....but saving self for marriage now....
Posted: 2/20/2008 8:24:36 PM | Rock Hunter, ever hear of sour grapes....stop your griping....
And stop your assumptions as well...just because some of us women chose to keep what we know is sacred, doesn't mean we gangbanged and/or did the entire high school football team....
Good, you just do those "better things with" your time....you go right ahead. | |
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| No virgin....but saving self for marriage now....
Posted: 2/21/2008 1:18:16 AM | ^^^^ In this case, she didn't "chose to keep what we know is sacred". Instead, she gave it to a lot of people for free, and now she expects a sucker will pay for it with his life.
No sour grapes, just buyers beware. | |
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| No virgin....but saving self for marriage now....
Posted: 2/21/2008 11:04:05 AM | Just because You don't think it's a red flag, doesn't mean WE don't think it's a red flag. It doesn't 'smack' of security in oneself at all, but rather points out a very large lack of secureness in yourself and who or what you are about. You define youself based on carnal knowledge or lack thereof. You put too much importance or emphasis on what you do rather then whom you are doing it with.
If you don't want to have sex, then don't. If you feel a need to wear that like some badge of honor, then yes, you are very confused and in the general opinion of most males who have replied, you simply are not ready for a real relationship. | |
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| No virgin....but saving self for marriage now....
Posted: 2/21/2008 5:52:47 PM | | men love to use the old" why would you buy a car before test driving it " well because some cars have more "mileage" than others and some brand new. so it would depend on how many"blocks" the car had been around.....jmo: | |
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| No virgin....but saving self for marriage now....
Posted: 2/21/2008 7:50:32 PM | Rock Hunter, you just don't seem to get it...do you have rocks in your head?
She HAS SINCE come to realize that the act of man and a woman coming together in love and expressing that physically is now sacred so she is willing to forgo any physically contact until she meets the man she will marry. AND...that is her choice...
You make your own choices and that should be respected as well...but when you get on one of my fellow POF sister's case, I'm going to speak up. | |
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| No virgin....but saving self for marriage now....
Posted: 3/5/2008 8:01:20 PM | I wonder if these guys who see a red flag when a woman won't readily go to bed with them have any concern about how many other men she is going to bed with during their relationship. It seems a lot of people in these forums are more in love with what they experience in sex than they are with any sexual partner.
Do you guys who see red flags have any concern about STD's and any other problems from promiscuity? And don't tell me there are absolutely reliable safe sex techniques because I am not that uninformed or niave.
Do these partners love you, just because they love sex with you, or are you perhaps being used in some way? If good sex is all you want in a relationship I hope you are being honest with all partners about that.
I helped care for a man who was suffering from alzheimer's who had left the mother of his two daughter when they were teens. He was dedicated to his new wife, but I always left upset when I saw her treatment of him and his daughters. He also was in debt, though he made good money and none of his family knew what happened to all of it.
I believe he should have seen some "red flags", though it seems the sex was good!
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| No virgin....but saving self for marriage now....
Posted: 3/5/2008 11:30:55 PM | well ,that would real stupid on the guys part .....to marry a lady without having sex with her. oh ,excuse me i mean making love to her........come on its 2008 thats like buying a sportcar and not taking for a testdrive.then ,you finally buy the car and it runs and rides like shit........  ................ ........ | |
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| No virgin....but saving self for marriage now....
Posted: 3/5/2008 11:35:19 PM |
Hey guys....what do you think of dating a woman that has had plenty of fabulous sex in her life, but has since decided to wait for marriage with the right guy? Not that the woman will waver in her decision, but how would men deal with this issue? Just curious!
I.e., you've had your fun . . . other men have gotten it for free, and now you want to make a man grovel and stall until the right buyer with the goods comes along. Got it.
Next . . .
AND...that is her choice...
And she'll pay for the consequences of those choices. Face it, no one wants to beg for intimacy when others have had it without much fanfare.
I wouldn't trust even mentioning wedding vows with her. Least of all spending money on date. | |
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| No virgin....but saving self for marriage now....
Posted: 3/6/2008 1:28:28 AM | "When I was young, I never needed anyone...
And making love was just for fun...
Those days are gone." ;)
...How do you figure out who the right guy is, and how long would that take? | |
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| No virgin....but saving self for marriage now....
Posted: 3/6/2008 3:20:34 AM |
She HAS SINCE come to realize that the act of man and a woman coming together in love and expressing that physically is now sacred so she is willing to forgo any physically contact until she meets the man she will marry. AND...that is her choice...
And it's any man's choice to decide that she's full of it.
Would you pay for an old, used car the same as if it were new, only because the owner decided "it's new, so there."? | |
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| No virgin....but saving self for marriage now....
Posted: 3/7/2008 5:18:51 PM | | I think that its an insult to all the real virgins in the world that saved themselves. Kind of like oh I've had so much cake that I feel fat... now I'm gonna wait for some special cake to eat. Hey, not many people are legit virgins, so I might be the only one that feels that way. | |
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| No virgin....but saving self for marriage now....
Posted: 3/7/2008 7:09:19 PM | ^^^^^^ I cant see why a virgin would be offended by the OP deciding to keep her sexuality as a part of marriage or LTR,.. why should we be offended at that? I can only think that the OP, like many people before her,.. has realised that it may be right for her to keep sex as an integral and exclusive part of a committed relationship.
I find the comments about women being likened to cars, 'test driven' etc, to be a hell of a lot more offensive, than the OP's stance on her sexuality.
Some of the men on this thread have revealed whats really important to them,.. and its sex, thats all,.. nothing more than that.
talking about women 'giving it away for free...' what, would you rather pay?/ Do some of you consider a committed relationship as paying dearly for sex in that relationship? Then that, reveals more about the mindset of the man, than it does about the OP.
Yes, I'm sure there are quite a few men who would love women to rack up notches on the bedpost, as they reeled from one god awful relationship to another,.. or racked up numbers of men in 'dating' scenarios,.. because you all get a test drive then, dont you?
is that what relationships have become now? just an arena for sex,.. and if the sex isnt good, you discard the woman? I'm so glad women on this site can come and read some of the responses from some men on here. Very insightful, very revealing,.. and ultimately... very disappointing.... Miss Eyre. | |
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| No virgin....but saving self for marriage now....
Posted: 3/8/2008 12:39:09 AM |
is that what relationships have become now? just an arena for sex,.. and if the sex isnt good, you discard the woman? I'm so glad women on this site can come and read some of the responses from some men on here. Very insightful, very revealing,.. and ultimately... very disappointing.... Miss Eyre.
What's even more disappointing and vastly more hypocritical is a woman that's had her fun and expects some sucker . . . I mean "real man" . . . to support her and withhold sex.
Prostitution is honest---you get something in the transaction. The above is a sham. Second virginity is a sham.
The problem is that many women who fool around too much become coarse and cynical with men they never would have considered before. Romance and true intimacy is often lost on them.
I think some women really believe men are that stupid to fall for what the OP is doing. Trust takes a long time to rebuild, and when your past history doesn't match the sudden traditionalism that she's expecting now, something doesn't add up. It certainly isn't about a relationship of equals, sexual or otherwise. Now it's about having someone "prove" their love through stalling and testing. What a crock.
This is the metaphysical price you are paying for sexual liberation and feminism, btw. There are men that want to be freed up as well (not just sexually, either), and now someone is supposed to uphold a compact when before it didn't matter? | |
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| No virgin....but saving self for marriage now....
Posted: 3/8/2008 1:46:12 AM |
Yes, I'm sure there are quite a few men who would love women to rack up notches on the bedpost, as they reeled from one god awful relationship to another,.. or racked up numbers of men in 'dating' scenarios,.. because you all get a test drive then, dont you?
If she reels from one awful relationship to other, it's her own fault. Why should any man pay for her stupidity? Perhaps she should choose better, don't you think?
is that what relationships have become now? just an arena for sex,.. and if the sex isnt good, you discard the woman?
In a word, YES.
YES YES YES YES YES
Sex is the only thing we can get from a woman that we can't get from friends or family. You shouldn't expect a guy will forget about it only because she's too lazy, too selfish or too used-up to give it.
Very insightful, very revealing,.. and ultimately... very disappointing....
I'm sorry that life is not all white bunnies and rainbows, now if this woman listen to those insightful and revealing responses, it may help her a lot more than sulking in disappointment.
Unless of course, the "disappointing" bit was intended as some tut-tutting headmaster shaming the unruly student. | |
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| No virgin....but saving self for marriage now....
Posted: 3/8/2008 5:51:18 PM | "talking about women 'giving it away for free...' what, would you rather pay?/ "
Actually yeah some rather would pay and it's because of women like this atleast when you pay for it you're getting a sure thing. | |
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| No virgin....but saving self for marriage now....
Posted: 3/8/2008 9:31:33 PM | Lookinwithin - I guess I'd have to ask you WHY you're doing that. Please don't take it that I'm sugesting that you shouldn't, just wondering why you are. Sex is a wonderful, beautiful thing and sharing it with someone can be beautiful as well. So if you choose not to share something beautiful, like that, with someone you are in love with, then I suppose it all falls back on why. It is something that you both will need to be in line with.
Does that make sense? | |
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