| Keeping someone on the side
Posted: 7/20/2007 9:54:41 PM |
so, what do you all think about men and women who keep someone on the side, in case their current relationship with someone goes bad?
I think it is very cruel, mean and childish. We you are in a commited relationship and are an adult, there is no need to keep someone else on the side for a rebound in case your relationship breaks up. It does have a lot to do with insecurity. They do not like themselves or they are so lonely that they feel the need to always have to be with someone.
~Carrie | |
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| Keeping someone on the side
Posted: 7/20/2007 9:55:21 PM | thinking of keeping 3 guys on the side would that be bad
maybe 7 one for each day of the week | |
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| Keeping someone on the side
Posted: 7/20/2007 11:29:37 PM | | Anyone who keeps "someone else on the side" is a pathetic little troll who doesn't deserve to be loved. | |
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| Keeping someone on the side
Posted: 7/22/2007 4:59:50 AM | It speaks loudly of insecurity. I have known so many people who think they need variety in their love lives, when it all boils down to a need to be histrionic, full of ones' self, a drama 'queen', fear of being alone, fear of boredom. Drama kills a relationship.
I really don't like the lie most of all. You can get over the infidelity and write him off as a bad catch. But the lies dig deep; make you question all the things they say, including the "I Love You's".
There is a difference in loving someone because they give you a gratification and loving someone because you want to give them happiness. Those who keep someone on the side don't understand the full concept of being in a 'relationship' because they are so busy being selfish. | |
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| Keeping someone on the side
Posted: 7/22/2007 7:59:22 AM | | i presume it is because some people are only looking to have their cake and eat it and once that fun wears off they move on to the next "distraction". however when that cake goes stale they wonder why they ventured off in the first place as they have a loving partner at home who trusts and respects them so why on earth do they do it? if you really truly love someone you don't stray, everyone is different but personally i wouldn't do it - it only ends in heartbreak - or would you want someone to do that to you?? | |
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| Keeping someone on the side
Posted: 7/22/2007 7:59:38 AM | | i presume it is because some people are only looking to have their cake and eat it and once that fun wears off they move on to the next "distraction". however when that cake goes stale they wonder why they ventured off in the first place as they have a loving partner at home who trusts and respects them so why on earth do they do it? if you really truly love someone you don't stray, everyone is different but personally i wouldn't do it - it only ends in heartbreak - would you want someone to do that to you?? | |
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| Keeping someone on the side
Posted: 7/22/2007 8:04:08 AM |
so, what do you all think about men and women who keep someone on the side, in case their current relationship with someone goes bad? Oh man, that's just begging for trouble! Tell us how it turns out. | |
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| Keeping someone on the side
Posted: 7/22/2007 8:09:35 AM | []mephistopheles[]
Subject: Keeping someone on the side
Message: so, what do you all think about men and women who keep someone on the side, in case their current relationship with someone goes bad? do you think it has to do with insecurity? I'm not talking about dating either....I'm talking about relationships beyond dating. I've really only talked to a few people who do this, and I don't see the point in it. I mean, if you're with someone you connect with really well, and you and them are beyond dating eachother, why keep someone on the side for? what do you all think?
Anyone who keeps someone on the side shows lack of respect for the other 2 involved, lack of stabilty on their part and no respect or commitment to either of the parties involved, big insecurity on the part of the one behaving this way, either that or a big self ego.
Also a very self centred selfish person would indeed do this, who only has their own wants and needs in mind. | |
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| Keeping someone on the side
Posted: 7/22/2007 8:53:08 AM | | Right, waste someone elses time and keep their hopes up so you can feel better by having a backup plan. Cheaters suck. | |
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| Keeping someone on the side
Posted: 10/7/2007 8:18:25 PM | A person who keeps someone "on the side" does not value,or know what a
real relationship is all about.An individual like this clearly has no respect for
themselves,or others. | |
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| Keeping someone on the side
Posted: 10/7/2007 8:43:16 PM | | I hear ya....every guy I ever had a relationship with, with the exception of maybe one...had someone "on the side" and it got so, that I started wondering what was wrong with ME....absofrigginlutely nothin!!!!! They were selfish, self-egoinflating, cheaters, and didn't deserve me. I also figured out what kept guys like that coming my way and I fixed it. It sucks to be hurt like that, and it can really mess your mental image of yourself up when you are faced with what looks like not being "enough" that a person has to go out and find "better", or "extra". | |
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| Keeping someone on the side
Posted: 10/7/2007 8:46:24 PM | The fact that this is cheating has been pointed out a couple times.
As well it is insecurity and selfishness.
It also shows that a person is too lazy to actually put the effort into a relationship. It is dooming the relationship to failure, since the person has already decided that it will not work out, otherwise there would be no need for a backup plan.
I do not cheat. I do not date someone who cheats. I will not be second choice. I have too much respect for myself to be someone's "backup" plan. | |
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| Keeping someone on the side
Posted: 10/7/2007 8:51:23 PM |
so, what do you all think about men and women who keep someone on the side, in case their current relationship with someone goes bad?
I have trouble keeping a relationship going with ONE man, I don't have the energy to mess with two or more. Others who do ~ well, that just seems silly to me, but I only live my life. If someone needs back-up, they really should just stop with all the lies/games and be straight up honest, "Hun, I have a relationship on the side, if that's a problem for you, I'm sorry ~ but it's what I prefer." Bet that would narrow the playing field. 
I have a male friend who I socialize with ~ he's well aware that there will be nothing physical so he has a couple FWBs. I'm well aware and am completely benign about it. I get his quality time and what he does otherwise is none of my business. To each their own, not everything is text book. JMO  | |
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| Keeping someone on the side
Posted: 10/7/2007 9:07:22 PM | it really is an insult to our intelligence to ask,`what do you think of cheating?`
we re hardly going to say with one voice,`great idea`!
cheating is about deception,, not all relationships that have "a side order" are hidden lovers. many do it with the approval of the spouse. case in point,, if the wife is no longer interested in, or physically capabe because of illness to engage in sex, but knows her husband has someone for that, at the end of the day,,its all good. no one gets hurt cuz everyone is on the same page. he and she are still in love and still maintain their marriage and he always comes home.
its an insult to our intelligence that you dont know that cheaters are liars. | |
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| Keeping someone on the side
Posted: 10/9/2007 4:42:09 PM | The Boy Scouts taught us to always “Be Prepared”, yes ?
But it can be very dangerous unless you do it right.
I have found that an interior room with sound proof material walls in a basement is the best place to keep one. Feed and water regularly, of course. And introduce your neighbors to the idea that you are breeding monkeys...dangerous flesh eating monkeys, so that they will not be tempted to investigate any unusual noises.
I am not sure if this is what the OP meant with the original question. At first i thought they may have been asking about dating multiple people and keeping that fact from one or more of those involved. Then i realized that would be a complete waste of time on a dating site. Who would admit to such behavior to a group of people one of which they might be interested in attracting ? | |
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| Keeping someone on the side
Posted: 10/9/2007 5:25:28 PM | | I once met a woman from another site and we had 3 dates before she tells me that she had a boyfriend. And that he was in prison and about to get out. But she also told me that she still wanted to continue seeing me anyway. I told her that I wont be anyone's side dish. lol. I thought it was a good line. | |
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| Keeping someone on the side
Posted: 12/2/2007 10:55:33 AM |
men and women who keep someone on the side, in case their current relationship with someone goes bad? do you think it has to do with insecurity? I don't know if it's insecurity.
I think it's more likey a complete lack of respect for everyone involved.
A person's not respecting themselves, their partner, nor the person who's being kept "on the side". | |
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| Keeping someone on the side
Posted: 12/14/2007 2:22:35 AM | | thoses who keep someone on the side are peopel who are not happy with theyre present relationship and they should leave theyre partner right now.staying with them just means they are pathetic and afraid to be alone plain and simple. | |
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| Keeping someone on the side
Posted: 12/14/2007 3:48:28 AM |
No harm no fowl!
lolololol
I think it sucks! I see it as greed and a fear of facing ones insecurities, which leads to the desire to always be with someone--anyone! When one is insecure with themselves, they'll be insecure within their relationships, too. | |
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| Keeping someone on the side
Posted: 12/14/2007 6:04:08 AM | | I think what goes around will come back around as we all pay in one way or another and that is certainly not the way it should be as it is called being used? | |
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| Keeping someone on the side
Posted: 12/14/2007 7:08:20 AM | | it's been done to me .and certainly what goes around does come around.one day these cheaters will end up lonely.I believe it all has to do with their self-centered ego. | |
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