I tried to block such messages by requiring responders to write longer emails. That sometimes results in messages that complain I seem to "want someone to write a book" to contact me. *sigh* Sorry, I like conversation...and I actually HAVE written a book!

For me, I look at a profile and if I'm interested, I send a short hello message. The meaning of the short hello is "I liked your profile enough to intiate a conversation, check mine out, if you like mine enough, send one back." To me that's a pretty obvious assumption, it's what I assume a woman means when she initiates first contact.

The meaning of the short hello is "I liked your profile enough to intiate a conversation, check mine out, if you like mine enough, send one back." To me that's a pretty obvious assumption, it's what I assume a woman means when she initiates first contact.

What bothers me is the attitude of "I wish I could find someone, but it would be so much easier if all these guys would stop bothering me" attitude.

Why not say "How are you". I think that is polite. If it is the first time emailing one person, I think that rather acceptable. Why go on and on for the first time and then no response. What a waste of my time.

So if it is annoying then how would you rather be said. You know what is annoying? When you write and nice note and the person never responded. That is VERY annoying.

It's not the read/delete that bothers me at all. It's a fact in internet dating that every woman is the "pretty girl" at the bar. What bothers me is the attitude of "I wish I could find someone, but it would be so much easier if all these guys would stop bothering me" attitude. You can't see the forest for the trees. Have you ever gone up to that girl in the bar and said "Hi." Not to just be turned down, but insulted. That's the attitude of posting how horrible and impolite a hello message sounds. This topic started about being annoyed at being contacted not someone whining that they get read/deleted.

Women want to feel special and be chased, it's a known and accepted social dynamic. We are all on a dating site though for whatever reasons, most of us just want to find someone. I think its fair to ask you to meet us halfway, I really don't want to be de-evolved into a male peacock.

Now some will say they are only writing to the hot ones, not true. In reading any number of these threads the men say they write almost anyone at that point, even those without pictures.

Though the key here is frustration, IRL, if you talk with someone, whether a connection is made or not, you feel as though you had a chance. On here, all you ladies must admit, unread/delete means she only looked at the picture, at best glanced at his profile. Again as I have said before a woman on here would suffer a drunken fool in a club better than a good guy on here.

PS Additionally, nobody responded to the fact that the 7 women who wrote to me used less than 20 words in their email. So short is OK for women but not for men?

I don't want a woman who can't respond politely to a basic courteous message, so read/deleting could be doing me a favor and I have weeded out a section of the populace by doing so.

I refer to my prior post about the internet and the pretty woman at the bar. How a woman picks whom she talks to is her business, not mine. Again, I'm just referring to coming here to complain about a short message sent in a courteous manner and not how anyone picks whom they respond to, how often or why.

Saying just "Hi, how are you', works with the same percentage as sending a tailored witty response that took time thinking about, all to make some stranger feel a little more important.

I am fine with the percentage,but if the results are the same, I am not spending extra time to tailor every message. As a forumite I get plenty of silly emails myself just based on posts I make.

I don't want a woman who can't respond politely to a basic courteous message, so read/deleting could be doing me a favor and I have weeded out a section of the populace by doing so.

I usually just write "hi". Usually this all i can come up with....what do you want for nothing.

Some men ( or women ) aren't exactly sure what to say or they might be a little bit shy / nervous at first.

I think it is a nice way to break the ice! They just don't know how to start the conversation since they don't know u!

Here's what I do - I always answer, even if it's just a "hi". I have learned, and especially from reading this thread, that there are a lot of guys who either really don't know how to start off a conversation or just get a lot of read/deletes no matter WHAT they do so it's short messages for them. So they deserve to be acknowledged.

Why do some women make such as a big deal about this? I can understand losing interest in a man if he kept giving short generic answers. But I would give a man the benefit of the doubt for the first email unless he wrote something that was obviously rude or disrespectful. Some men ( or women ) aren't exactly sure what to say or they might be a little bit shy / nervous at first.

Are we talking about using the generic title "Hi, how are you?" only, with no further words or messages? Or are people using the generic title "Hi, how are you?" then writing a short message to someone???

how many people would not respond to those with a informative profile that they found attractive because they asked you how you are?