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| how do you get over your first love?
Posted: 7/21/2008 4:27:42 PM | Speaking as an old fart whose life has been illuminated (set aflame?) by love on a few occasions ...
You keep on keeping on with your life. If you can't help but compare, then turn the comparison to your use ... look for the things that he had that you like. Others here have spoken the wisdom that it takes time, and it does. Time will help, but, deep feeling will always leave traces - as it should.
A couple of years back I heard a busker singing "Give a Little Bit." Twenty years flew away like they had never happened and there I was walking towards the Seabus in a crowd of commuters with tears in my eyes - remembering hair of raven silk and dark eyes. Remembering when I learned that a profound heartache wouldn't kill me. I won't say I laughed, but I did smile to myself about how far I have come since then and the wonders that I have had in my life.
So, keep on, but NEVER lose sight of the fact that this person did not respect you enough to face you and give you the honest closure you should have had. Remember that along with the things that make your heart stop. Remember that he was not worthy of you, even as you continue your journey and your seeking. | |
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| how do you get over your first love?
Posted: 7/21/2008 6:05:49 PM | Very tough. If you've been dating for any period of time breaking up is, emotionally, very similar to a divorce.
"Time heals all wounds." unsure who the author is.
A rule of thumb, that I've heard professionals use, for getting over a serious relationship/marriage is: One year to get over the pain; and another year to get completely back to normal, i.e. no longer thinking about him, and comparing everyone to him. It's even tougher if you were never given the opportunity to get closure.
One trick I've seen used for closure is to write him a letter; then burn it. It sounds hokey; but it really does help to exorcise a lot of emotional baggage.
Of course you could always chase him down and beat him with a baseball bat.  | |
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