| People that live far away
Posted: 7/18/2007 4:41:27 PM | | sometimes its just a quick fix for them....and sometimes the far away kind are the best kind as you know they won't be on your doorstep several times a week | |
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| People that live far away
Posted: 7/18/2007 5:44:06 PM | I react to the profile. I have talked to people all over the world. Not to gain anything but a friend. But if my world shook I would gladly travel and perhaps so would they. It is far to short a life to just anything. I have had wonderful ideas from men that where away ...friends...benefits mite come but who knows...
Life is to short to turn any friend away...we can benifet from anyone... | |
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| People that live far away
Posted: 7/18/2007 5:56:20 PM | sherilyn70----there are always few BAD APPLES.. on this site.. your thread was of worth!!!! very intresting to see what other people thought.
sex threads never never go away.. at times you would think this is a porn site.with sexual topics and racey picture's that seem to say up.. | |
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| People that live far away
Posted: 7/18/2007 6:33:15 PM | Well, that could happen with the guy next door. I didn't mention it before, but your initial post said that the two people who contacted you 'didn't mention your profile or your interests'. Perhaps you were put off by their attitude instead of their distance. Here's what I have told people I've expressed an interest in whose reaction was that they could never consider a LDR (tongue in cheek, of course):
'You say that the distance between us presents a problem? Well, you've apparently never heard of a wonderful new invention called an 'airplane' (or 'aeroplane', for those of you living in the early 21st century). It's an aluminum tube that flies! Yes! Just like a bird! What happens is this: you buy a 'ticket' that allows you to 'board' the plane. Then, they herd you in, just like cattle; they even use a chute for this. Then, they tie you down into a seat so you can't escape. Then, you wait. And, wait some more. Finally, you're 'cleared' for 'takeoff' (unless your flight gets 'cancelled' or unless the 'pilot' is drunk and gets caught). And you fly! And, they serve you peanuts! All this for only about $400 for an hours flight! It's incredible!'
They either flip me off or realize that distance, or at least some distance, shouldn't be a deal-breaker. Like I said before, it all depends on the people involved. None of this is meant as criticism; it all depends on what you really, really want. | |
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| People that live far away
Posted: 7/18/2007 6:39:10 PM | | Airplanes cost money... who's paying for the trips? And what about the extra vacation time that is required to see each other? I get 3 weeks of vacation a year and 2 of them are already planned out for conventions I go to. $400 once a month is a lot of money to me, money I currently don't have when I have windows and doors that need to be replace and an air conditioning unit on it's last few years to consider. A trip from the East coast to the West coast is more like $600-800. Maybe others are independently employed and have lots of spare cash laying around... but I don't. I live a comfortable life but not one that is free enough to travel the world without a second thought. | |
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| People that live far away
Posted: 7/18/2007 6:47:09 PM | | Well OP, I have to agree with you, LTR with someone who lives far away is just too hard. I commend anyone that actually can do it because there is a lot of honesty and trust involved, but for me, I wouldn't be able to handle seeing someone I liked a lot once per month or so. It is a shame because I have seen some very good profiles of women that live too far away from me and it would be nice to get to know them, but I figure they probably feel the same thing about LDR's as I do. | |
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| People that live far away
Posted: 7/18/2007 6:58:15 PM | | I am curious about something else. For all those in support of looking for someone half way across the US from you, have you ever actually done this yourself? I have. So I guess I'm just speaking from experience, no matter how much you find yourself caring for someone it just doesn't work well in the end. He and I wanted to be together but every time we tried money got in the way. Then when we had the money I couldn't take the time off from work to fly off to Colorado to see him. He can't fly here to see me because he is chronicaly ill (kidney failure) and can't be too far from home. He is on medical for the rest of his life from the navy. | |
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| People that live far away
Posted: 7/18/2007 6:58:24 PM | | Again, it depends on the person who's interested in you. Lay out your financial restrictions; then, if he (not you) has the ability to fund the trips, no problem. If he doesn't have that kind of money, well, you have to go with your initial distance preference. All I'm saying is, don't write off all LDRs; some can work, and work very well. I have three such LDRs going on, and we see no problem; I hope that one of them may lead to something more; but, fortunately, I'm in a position that distance won't be the reason it didn't work out. This is just speculation, but adversity does have a way of sorting the chaff from the seeds. | |
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| People that live far away
Posted: 7/18/2007 7:02:34 PM | | Okay, wait... you have THREE long distance relationships going? How is that a relationship then? I'm talking about long term relationships here, not just dating. I don't think we're talking about the same things here. I'm looking for love and someone in my life 100% that can be there for me. I'm looking for the person that can go with me to company events, my family get togethers and take care of me when I get sick. I'm looking for the person that can go to shows with me and game with me every weekend and someone that can open that tough jar I can't get the lid off of. | |
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| People that live far away
Posted: 7/18/2007 7:13:24 PM | | Damn you like to complain. Is there anything that doesn't bug you? Try getting a life and stop nit picking everything. | |
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| People that live far away
Posted: 7/18/2007 7:14:22 PM | I have a limit in my profile, a short one. Driving 45 miles for coffee doesn't cut it.
I've gotten emails from places well outside the limit. I reply to each and every email I receive, regardless. I've started asking "Why if you're looking for an LTR (I'm just dating) are you emailing a guy 150 miles away"?
Amazingly, I have only gotten one reply back and it wasn't very kind.
NOW having said that, I emailed a gal 400 miles away simply to thank her for her honesty in a thread she replied to. We've been friends ever since.
And we are considering meeting "as friends". If anything develops, PoF will be the LAST to know.  rofl
Regards,
01 | |
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| People that live far away
Posted: 7/18/2007 7:19:13 PM | I had a truly amazing LTR with a man that lived in another state for three years.
It took him over six months to convince me he wasn't The Boston Strangler. LMAO!
But I eventually did fly to his state, on my dime and I had a fabulous time. He was unlike any other man I have ever met. In a positive sense. I can honestly say it was magical and probably won't happen again in this lifetime.
But LDR can be difficult. You miss many things. Touch is one of them and I don't mean sex. Eventually the bubble bursted and I came to realize I was not willing to relocate and sell my house and leave my career. Do I regret it? Not really. I can safety state I will never, ever do this again. Life is too short to spend random waking moments thinking about someone that you can't even hug without getting on a plane. | |
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Alzena
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Joined: 6/12/2007
Msg: 38 | |
| People that live far away
Posted: 7/18/2007 7:20:20 PM | 1.) There is an option that you can block email from anyone who is over 200 miles away. 2.) Men ignore what women sya,it's almost like it's a challenge to see if you'll bite. 3.) It's a numbers game... like the singles dances if they ask enough women at the dance to go home with them, they increase the odds that one of them will.... | |
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| People that live far away
Posted: 7/18/2007 7:23:54 PM | I looked at your profile and if you seriously want to find someone close to your neighborhood you should adjust the mail setting on your profile to state something like "must live 25 to 75 miles away" or whatever your preference is. Once you do that you won't get mail from men that live out of state.
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| People that live far away
Posted: 7/18/2007 7:27:02 PM | I realize that people want to make sure the OP considers love no matter where it is, and some of you have done that and continue to do that. That's YOUR mindset. She doesn't want to look outside her area, then let her look where she wants to look. What's with the "don't limit yourself when it comes to love" crap? She's made it clear she doesn't want to do that quite a few times in this thread.
There's nothing wrong with generally chatting with people from other states and countries, that's fine. If YOU'RE willing to travel but the profile you're reading has a local restriction for dating, you're beating a dead horse. It's not a match. Move on to someone who DOES agree with you and has no problem traveling or moving if it came down to it.
Some people just like to find what they're looking for within a certain distance. I don't see the problem with understanding this. | |
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| People that live far away
Posted: 7/18/2007 7:33:30 PM |
I'm honestly baffled by this. It seems I get a decent number of emails from people who's profiles state they live far away. What is the point? Why do they do this? I had two like that just today, one was from St. Louis and the other from Tennessee. Neither of them said anything about my profile or interests in their introduction and the one from Tennessee actually said he wanted to talk to me on the phone. My profile states I'm looking for a long term relationship and my own words say "you must live close to me".
Can someone help shed some light on this phenomenon to me?
Keep an open mind, there can be no greater injustice in this world than to deny yourself from possibility... | |
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| People that live far away
Posted: 7/18/2007 8:20:08 PM | I live in a rural community and after living here for 5 years I have not met a man that I would wish to date. I am not a snob....selective, yes. Due to this I am searching for someone who just thinking of them brings a smile to my face, someone who would enjoy sharing life's experiences....day to day and once in a lifetime. A best friend, lover, buddy, etc... Finding someone like this is not an easy task. I would not want to limit myself simply because I might miss meeting the one who is looking for the same thing as I. However, with that being said I would like them to live in one of our 50 states since learning another language is not a high priority on my "to do" list right now.
As far as men ignoring you're statement of "you must live close to me" maybe they think you're worth a try anyways.
Best of luck searching | |
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| People that live far away
Posted: 7/18/2007 8:49:07 PM |
What is the point? Why do they do this?
Personal preference. I know for a fact there is no one anywhere near me that is datable for me ~ distance is my reality. For some of us, it doesn't matter. Nothing wrong with that ~ it just isn't how everyone views it. JMO  | |
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| People that live far away
Posted: 7/18/2007 8:52:44 PM | Actualy I talk to a few women on here that are far away, yeah if we lived closer I'd certainly go on a date with a couple of them...
I've had a few nice comments from women far away also, but I assume it was just them being friendly, I'm not perfect at reading into a womans wording, maybe one or two were actualy looking into that possiblity. I didn't take them that way tho, I just thanked them for the compliment/comment and let it go as a person being nice.
I've also sent a couple nice words to some women about what they wrote in their profiles... I wasn't expecting to start a long distance courtship. I'm realistic, I know very well I am not going to meet for lunch with anyone over 75 miles away.
Maybe its possible that some emails you recieve were just a friendly hello due to something they liked about you?
Edit: See now Winebuddy up there, would have sent her an email just to say she has a short but awesome profile but I smoke so she wont take my emails lol... as for the range restrictions, I wont put them on because I chat with people all over the place... I'm friendly like that. May as well make some friends while I'm here :) | |
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| People that live far away
Posted: 7/18/2007 10:59:00 PM | | I had a long distance relationship that led me to living in England and having the opportunity to travel all over Europe...unfortunately a few issues came up and the marriage is over, but it was well worth it and even though he's my ex, he's a friend and I still love him to bits. By taking a chance it enriched my life more than you could imagine....by the way--I was in my own house and a job I'd been in for 19 years before I came here. I'm not a fly by night person...you just have to stay open--you never know. | |
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| People that live far away
Posted: 7/19/2007 2:21:23 AM | Positive attitude Act2..
not only got wiht the flow but relish yr life
on the journey..the raft of romance and relationhship (s) | |
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| People that live far away
Posted: 7/19/2007 3:07:10 AM | I know exactly what you mean Tim. And we couldn't have mailed each other yesterday as well if I had had that restriction on it. I have no problems with friendly conversations in my email from people far away as long as they understand that they aren't a suitor. I also emailed with a guy in California because we do have common interests.
I'm not trying to restrict who can talk to me. I will not lie, if I were faced with a LDR I would most likely end up cheating. I need to be touched. I need physical presence. I am a very sexual person. (yeah, I know I'm probably going to get attacked for that one now, lol) It's not like I'm a hermit here, I rarely find myself alone when it comes to men. I get plenty of offers, just not from ones I want to settle for. I'm just being honest about what works for me and what does not. :) | |
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| People that live far away
Posted: 7/19/2007 4:26:24 AM | | Where I live most of those on Date Lines live a long way away, so I guess I have to take the chance that we will have enough mutual interests to develop a friendship. It not much use people saying: "What about those where you live?" If it was as easy as that I wouldn't be here. | |
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| People that live far away
Posted: 7/19/2007 4:37:09 AM | | FrancoisC I can definitely understand and sympathize with that. I am fortunate and live in the 14th largest city in the US. I do keep that in mind when people that are kind of near me send me emails (like Akron which is a 2 hour drive) and realize they might be willing to move down to the larger city. I just don't get the St. Louis or Chattanooga ones since neither are reasonable driving distance. | |
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| People that live far away
Posted: 7/19/2007 6:18:30 AM | OP, can't explain it...it happens to me also...there have been some it would have been nice to get to know, but because I want a local relationship where you can actually see the person more than one or twice a month, if that, I'm not going to waste their time or mine by starting up anything. Where I am, about an hour away is the maximum I want to go, and less if possible. I want to spend time with someone, not have us spend more time driving to see each other.
I'm with you OP...I have family and friends here, a home and a good job; I don't want to move - and I highly doubt most of the guys responding on this thread who have kids or a good job would move for a woman either. As far as 'making a new friend' with someone who lives far away, that's fine for those who want that...I've made a couple of friends online (male and female) and them I'd go to meet if I'm ever their neck of the woods - because they're not potential partners...But frankly, I don't want a thousand online friends; I'd rather be out having fun with freinds, family, that special someone, than be online talking to several someones I don't know and will never meet. And as far as changing your preferences to block those that live far away, I don't see why one would do that...I still enjoy the emails I get from people commenting on my dogs or something I said in the forums. | |
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