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Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > Is it normal these days for a 38 year old man live with his mother?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 Hypno_cat
Joined: 4/15/2007
Msg: 26
Is it normal these days for a 38 year old man live with his mother?Page 2 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
Hi mom......I know that you are reading this, but are you taking notice of the threads and what people are saying...I doubt it

Its ok for a person to live with parents for financial reasons or health, but not when it compromises a man and his wife
 kf15jockey
Joined: 7/14/2007
Msg: 27
Is it normal these days for a 38 year old man live with his mother?
Posted: 7/20/2007 6:36:36 PM
Run, don't walk, to divorce court.
 discoverme1954
Joined: 7/14/2007
Msg: 28
Is it normal these days for a 38 year old man live with his mother?
Posted: 7/22/2007 8:54:47 AM
It depends what hes been doing for the last 20yrs. when a relationship goes bad we need a place to go, and most of us guys are broke by then and your parents are normaly cheap accomodation
 indigoeyes
Joined: 8/26/2006
Msg: 29
Is it normal these days for a 38 year old man live with his mother?
Posted: 7/22/2007 10:13:48 AM

when a relationship goes bad we need a place to go, and most of us guys are broke by then and your parents are normaly cheap accomodation


Give me a flippin break.... so when a relationship ends you lose all ability to work and care for yourself?
 eman07
Joined: 6/30/2006
Msg: 30
Is it normal these days for a 38 year old man live with his mother?
Posted: 7/22/2007 11:01:49 AM

Give me a flippin break.... so when a relationship ends you lose all ability to work and care for yourself?


not trying to speak for him, but i think he was referring to being married to someone for 20 years, divorcing and then getting totally bombared in court with alimony, child support...etc etc...

I have a buddy who moved back home after a divorce cause he just couldnt handle living on his own anymore...child support was killing him. He had no problem paying it, but he just couldnt handle all the rest of bills with child support....
 Alzena
Joined: 6/12/2007
Msg: 31
Is it normal these days for a 38 year old man live with his mother?
Posted: 7/22/2007 11:45:16 AM
How do you marry without finding out he is a mama's booy? Running home to mom is a problem, and that make mom more of the problem, she is not willing to make him grow up, she has ruined him... On the other hand, I have a friednt hat said she an home to her mother every fight for five years, I asked her what happened that make that change. She said she got tired of filling out change of mail cards... So, she settled down and has staye dint he married 40 years... go figure...
 forums1
Joined: 5/14/2007
Msg: 32
Is it normal these days for a 38 year old man live with his mother?
Posted: 7/22/2007 11:55:10 AM
Sounds like "mama's boy" to me.

I mean, I *can* think of some reasons for someone to be living with their parent(s) at that age (or even older), such as if their parents are older, ill, and need help. That to me is a "noble" reason (helping parents in need). But, if you've *never* left home, and *never* been on your own, and can't function without them, thats a problem. Big red flag to me.
 Willprevale
Joined: 10/9/2006
Msg: 33
Is it normal these days for a 38 year old man live with his mother?
Posted: 7/22/2007 11:55:56 AM
OP,

Just read your profile. This is a sick thread from an emtionally unhealthy woman. Nothing I or anyone else says will help or make a meaningful difference.

I'm surprised this thread hasn't been deleted as a "self pity thread"
 tater21032
Joined: 7/13/2007
Msg: 34
Is it normal these days for a 38 year old man live with his mother?
Posted: 7/22/2007 12:03:42 PM
My older brother is 59 and he still lives with mommy pretty pathetic huh!
 greg3995
Joined: 12/28/2005
Msg: 35
Is it normal these days for a 38 year old man live with his mother?
Posted: 7/22/2007 12:10:16 PM
i never did but i do no a few people still living at home in their 40s it may be cos of work or the rise in renting his own place. i think you may be over reacting
 3rdedition
Joined: 10/29/2006
Msg: 36
Is it normal these days for a 38 year old man live with his mother?
Posted: 7/22/2007 12:36:18 PM
The guy has serious issues you don't need to get involved with. Really. Do yourself a favor and move on.
 eman07
Joined: 6/30/2006
Msg: 37
Is it normal these days for a 38 year old man live with his mother?
Posted: 7/22/2007 12:54:48 PM

The guy has serious issues you don't need to get involved with. Really. Do yourself a favor and move on.


they both have serious issues....she married someone she didnt even know...

they both need to move on....
 indigoeyes
Joined: 8/26/2006
Msg: 38
Is it normal these days for a 38 year old man live with his mother?
Posted: 7/22/2007 1:39:03 PM

not trying to speak for him, but i think he was referring to being married to someone for 20 years, divorcing and then getting totally bombared in court with alimony, child support...etc etc...

I have a buddy who moved back home after a divorce cause he just couldnt handle living on his own anymore...child support was killing him. He had no problem paying it, but he just couldnt handle all the rest of bills with child support....



Some how I managed to survive with two kids in day care, a house payment and all the other expenses on an income several thousand dollars a year less than my ex. Guess who still lives at home 15 years later and still makes thousands more a year than I do. Guess who survived on her own with no help from anyone....that would be me. Take just another wild guess at which parent the kids have no respect for....that would be him. He earned it, I should say didn't earn it.
 eman07
Joined: 6/30/2006
Msg: 39
Is it normal these days for a 38 year old man live with his mother?
Posted: 7/22/2007 2:06:31 PM

Some how I managed to survive with two kids in day care, a house payment and all the other expenses on an income several thousand dollars a year less than my ex. Guess who still lives at home 15 years later and still makes thousands more a year than I do. Guess who survived on her own with no help from anyone....that would be me. Take just another wild guess at which parent the kids have no respect for....that would be him. He earned it, I should say didn't earn it.


congrats...have respect for you....

you make enough money to pay your bills and you are responsble..again congrats...

my whole point was that some men/women DONT make enough after a divorce because of lawyers, support, alimony..whatever the reason my be....so if someone lived at home and had a reason for it, i wouldnt automatically look down on them.

my friend would rather know that his kids are taken care of every month rather than paying rent, and child support and not having enough money to take them to lunch.....

everyone makes quick judgments when they find out someone lives at home...its automatically assumed he is a "mama's boy"

food for thought...you ever hear a women get called out for living at home?
1. men live at home=mama's boy
2. women live at home=getting life back together...
 indigoeyes
Joined: 8/26/2006
Msg: 40
Is it normal these days for a 38 year old man live with his mother?
Posted: 7/22/2007 2:44:20 PM
I wouldn't have any respect for a woman who did it either. It's one thing if it is temporary for either a man or a woman, years and decades later...that's taking the easy way out of being responsible for yourself and your children.
 sassifrazz
Joined: 7/13/2007
Msg: 41
Is it normal these days for a 38 year old man live with his mother?
Posted: 7/22/2007 7:17:42 PM
The living with momma until 38 makes me raise an eyebrow as to why he hadn't moved out of the home before, especially since he wasn't taking care of her. Anyways, it looks like you married someone who's mother comes first no matter what. The fact that he involves his mom in your arguments is NOT a good sign and it won't get any better unless you put your foot down and tell him to stop doing it.
Speaking from experience, I married a momma's boy too and I stupidly thought that his behaviour would subside once we were married, and it did for a while, but when the going got tough, he ran right back to momma who took him back with open arms and never questioned him as to why he left me. As far as I knew, his mom and I got along, but she is most definitely an enabler when it comes to her son, and that's never going to change and I was stupid to think that it would in time. Trust me, I won't make that mistake again...
 cjp78
Joined: 7/18/2007
Msg: 42
Is it normal these days for a 38 year old man live with his mother?
Posted: 7/22/2007 11:19:07 PM
Yes. It is normal if his mother is unable to care for herself and he wishes not to place her in an an assisted living facility. I personally would not want to live with my parents again, unless for the reason I described above. I think at 38 you should be able to care for yourself completely unless you have extreme learning disabilities or paranoid schizophrenia or something. Does this man have dead bodies hidden under his mothers porch?This just sounds like Psycho shit.
Its your life, but I recommend you find a new man, who knows how to handle conflict on his own.
 dunnrunnin2
Joined: 7/9/2007
Msg: 43
Is it normal these days for a 38 year old man live with his mother?
Posted: 7/24/2007 12:05:39 PM
I find it quite typical especially if he is still breast feeding.
 hurt_heart
Joined: 7/11/2007
Msg: 44
Is it normal these days for a 38 year old man live with his mother?
Posted: 8/3/2007 1:29:12 PM
Why am I getting bashed here? I was with him for over a year before I married him, and yes I knew he was unusualy close to his mother but I thought that was sweet...until he started picking up the phone calling her every fight we had.......and living with her more than me. Im not looking for sympathy, I realy wanted to know if this is something Im overreacting about or if this realy isnt good .
 mlm_mlm_mlm
Joined: 4/29/2007
Msg: 45
Is it normal these days for a 38 year old man live with his mother?
Posted: 8/3/2007 1:33:41 PM
Being you knew him and all this before you married him. You should not be reacting to any of it.
so, yes... you are over reacting in this situation.
It was this way from the get go...
not something to change now. He is what he is and you took him on that way
so he is never going to be anything else but what he is.
Accept it or walk away.
 Quest for Love
Joined: 10/14/2006
Msg: 46
Is it normal these days for a 38 year old man live with his mother?
Posted: 8/3/2007 1:36:40 PM
no it is not normal

is he puerto rican, mexican?

his mother has too much power over him. he needs to divorce her. i bet his father died when he was still a boy or they are divorced. her son is her substitute hubby. what her mother did is called emotional incest.

it is a sick relationship. its inappropriate and toxic. he chose you to fight his mommy off. don't do it. its his battle. he needs to fight her off, he needs to take your side not hers. you are to be a united front against her. she is now in the child position or should be.

the cause is: early death in the family of some member of his immediate family. it screwed up the family dynamics and made it dysfunctional. the grief was not properly dealt with. conflicts were not properly dealt with. family roles got screwed up. this is a serious problem that needs to be dealt with. he basically needs to be reprogrammed. actually, his relationship with his mother needs to be reprogrammed. he needs to grow into the correct and functioning role of a real man. not a macho hispanic--they are losers.

possible secondary cause: culture clash. they are 1st or 2nd generation foreigners to america. he is not of european heritage. he is of either hispanic or asian heritage. you are from the european culture.
 kychik33
Joined: 1/15/2005
Msg: 47
Is it normal these days for a 38 year old man live with his mother?
Posted: 8/9/2007 11:06:33 PM
Good grief. That sounds pretty bad. Would he happen to be a single parent? If so, then I could understand living at home (cheaper) but if it's just because he's a momma's boy... you'll have one problem after another! I did! AND just because he doesn't live at home, doesn't mean he aint' a momma's boy!
 browngirl_07
Joined: 7/6/2007
Msg: 48
Is it normal these days for a 38 year old man live with his mother?
Posted: 8/9/2007 11:13:27 PM
Why don't you pick a fight with him and when he wants to talk..run off to your mommy. He'll really enjoy that. Maybe you can have your mommy go over and talk to his mommy.

What do you think? Never been married here but You deserve better. Good luck to you.


Ohhh and just to make sure i didn't ignore your original question. The answer is No.
 LisaDobie
Joined: 7/13/2007
Msg: 49
Is it normal these days for a 38 year old man live with his mother?
Posted: 8/10/2007 3:25:50 AM
Sounds like my situation....

My ex had met someone else thru his mother, Then when he wanted to leave me he got his mother to come and tell me

When we were together everytime we had a row he would run to mummy and daddy, because I was so mean to him obviously and he needed back up, A month after we split he turned up saying he had come to collect the sofa he had come in the car so I thought he had come to tell me and was going to go back for a van.....we talked it thru at which point he told his parents not to bother and turn around.....he had his parents waiting round the corner, Unfair fight or what of course his parents being know it alls tried to force there way into the house, had a shock when they wre arrested.

so I am so glad I am not the only person with mummy and daddy involved in the marriage aswell
 3rdedition
Joined: 10/29/2006
Msg: 50
Is it normal these days for a 38 year old man live with his mother?
Posted: 8/10/2007 5:57:01 AM
The only solution is to marry an orphan.

Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > Is it normal these days for a 38 year old man live with his mother?