| |
| |
| Does it really matter who makes more money???
Posted: 7/29/2007 12:40:54 AM |
People who say money doesn't matter or that it can't buy happiness just simply don't know where to shop!
That is a bunch of SH*T. Not everyone in the world is a consumer and shops at expensive stores buying the latest and greatest. Not all women want to be taken "shopping".
Assume all you want.
But if someone wants to buy me a Dali print or invest in my business, I'd have no problems with that. Unfortunately, I am not attracted to nor do I have anything in common with "most" men that are affluent.
Doesn't matter to me at all. | |
|
| Does it really matter who makes more money???
Posted: 7/29/2007 12:44:39 AM | Doesn't matter to me either but it has to some men I've dated... both ends of the spectrum.
One multi millionaire bragging and making sure I knew how much he had... ad nauseum.
One unhappy that I made more than he did and not willing to let me pay for dates I wanted to go on...
To some it matters, to me — as long as they're not asking me to support them or pay their bills — it's all good.
Edit:
Like the new Pic, Nick. | |
|
| |
| Does it really matter who makes more money???
Posted: 7/29/2007 2:14:37 AM | | Imo, it doesn't matter who makes more money in a marriage because you're sharing it anyway and putting it together to achieve common goals. I don't think it matters in a dating situation either as long as neither person has a problem with it. It's really just silly to focus on money anyway; the focus should be on loving each other and making each other happy. I'm not a golddigger myself, and I don't want to end up with a golddigger so I'm going to do everything I can to prevent that from happening. | |
|
| Does it really matter who makes more money???
Posted: 7/29/2007 2:21:04 AM | I will actually say that one time it did matter and that was when I had my daughter. We agreed that I would be primary caretaker of her until she went to kindergarten. If he hadn't made enough to support us, I couldn't have done that.
I ended up splitting with him when she was 2 anyway and starting a home business, but if we had a massive mortgage at the time I got pregnant and I was the major earner in the relationship, that would have caused some issues. | |
|
| Does it really matter who makes more money???
Posted: 7/29/2007 2:32:33 AM | Hi Eqmeqalith,
I can understand where your coming from. But does it honestly matter? My man earns more money then me and it doesnt particually bother me because we share our money.
But yes as in old ways the man always brought home the bacon (so to speak). But in todays world i feel that women are speaking up and saying "hey we can do it too".
I think what you are seeing is a new age makeing history for it self.
I personally see it as alot of women don't like it if the man earns more money then the woman. Women like to enjoy and relax just the same as men. But being a high maintance woman i like to be spolied. I have been in a 9 year relationship with my partner and it doesnt bother him really. But i would enjoy it alot more if i was the one who earned more of the money. I would have something to show! Alot of women like to show what they have.
So women who don't like it if they earn more money, well maybe they were brought up with that the man is the main worker in the household.
So i feel that this subject is quite rare to see here in Australia. Not sure about other countrys but in Australia i find it very rare for a woman not to like to earn more money then there man. | |
|
| Does it really matter who makes more money???
Posted: 7/29/2007 4:39:44 AM | Women can be funny about men and money. I've encountered many women who want a man who can financially take care of everything. It's like legal prostitution if you ask me. I like men who are intelligent and educated...and who aren't lazy...must be the hard working Polish drive in me | |
|
| Does it really matter who makes more money???
Posted: 7/29/2007 1:24:18 PM | alot of women, say it does not matter; but that they won't take care of a man, yet alot of men have wives who make less and they take care of them an that is not frowned upon.
it's more of a social issue and alot of the responses on here justify that; women who have good salaries, aren't often eager to meet/date/marry someone who makes decidely less than them, the first statement is that they want a guy who can take care of themselves. Guys usually don't make statements like that and as one poster said, its expected for the man to take care of the woman; not vice versa, there is a reason why noone ever asks a woman how do you plan on taking care of my son. But people do ask how are you planning on taking care of my daughter.
i have seen different situations where it didn't matter; but usually when someone says its ok for me to make more than my man, it is followed by an im not taking care of anyone. | |
|
| Does it really matter who makes more money???
Posted: 7/29/2007 3:19:40 PM | ^^^ I hear ya. The level of female double-talk in this thread is truly amazing. They all seem to be saying "money doesn't matter, as long as you have enough; you have to have enough money that money doesn't matter". It's nonsense.
Here's what I see: the ever-present stats which say women only make $0.75 on the dollar compared to what men make, coupled with the fact which is well-known in the marketing and advertising worlds that women account for the spending of 80% of the discretionary income in the economy (US).
How are these two datapoints reconciled? If they're not making it themselves, where are the women getting all this money? Obviously it's coming from husbands and other men, in an informal transfer which is not taken into account in formulating the "$0.75 on the dollar" canard.
So it's clear money really does matter a lot regardless of what some are saying here. And it only flows in one direction. The denials may be true in individual instances but they don't seem plausible in the average random instance with which a man is likely to encounter. | |
|
| |
ksue44
| | Joined: 6/20/2005
Msg: 63 | |
| Does it really matter who makes more money???
Posted: 7/29/2007 3:30:25 PM | | OP - prayfully your dog won't bite me Do I care what money a man makes (more or less)? I'd prefer that he and I'd be on the same page (values & outlooks) about money. If he's content making $9/hour washing dishes for the rest of his life, honestly, I'd say "houston, we've got a problem". If he can pay his obligations, live within his means, and has goals, that's what is most important to me. | |
|
| Does it really matter who makes more money???
Posted: 7/29/2007 3:35:29 PM | | It does for some. it is a complete reversal of thousands of years of human history to have a woman provide for the man and is somewhat emasculating to some. Many men find that they WANT to provide for a wife. many have older views on personal morals (such as day care is a joke, children should be taken care of by the mother) etc etc etc. I think you would find way more men who don't like earning less then the woman in a relationship. | |
|
| |
| |
| |
GEOSC
| | Joined: 7/11/2007
Msg: 68 | |
| Does it really matter who makes more money???
Posted: 7/29/2007 4:24:20 PM | 3 out of 14 yrs my x made more than me and it still was not enough I dont care how much she makes,or what she has I want her for her not for what she has | |
|
| Does it really matter who makes more money???
Posted: 7/29/2007 4:27:32 PM | Control over what?
"Everything. All major purchases, decisions concerning money, etc."
2 comments:
1) Experience says otherwise.
2) Are we talking about a couple or a corporation? Point taken, I trust! | |
|
| Does it really matter who makes more money???
Posted: 7/29/2007 5:56:55 PM | Well, in my experience, it has mattered; it's an extra wrinkle to work around when working through the dynamic in relationships. I've had relationships with men who were pretty secure, centered people and, if you've followed any of my posts, I think you'd see that my togethers are reasonably together as well. So, I'd say we were pretty well equipped to sort through the issues when they came up, but I can't deny sometimes it was a wrinkle we didn't really anticipate. Sometimes we both got blind-sided by it.
Intellectually it is a straight forward thing to sort out, it is the emotions from perhaps our less evolved sides that caused the problems. My assessment is they were nearly always identity issues. He sometimes felt a bit insecure about it as in "if you pay for this what does it say about my role/worth as a man" And I sometimes felt defensive and insecure about it as in "why is it an issue over my paying for X and if you have an issue with it does that mean I can't be fully expressed as a woman". Not exactly my best day LOL.
Unless you are on top of it I can see how it might be one of the factors in the unraveling of a relationship. | |
|
| Does it really matter who makes more money???
Posted: 7/29/2007 7:54:27 PM | This is an interesting topic. As a professional women if a very rural economically depressed part of our state I don't think a single man up here would have an issue with my making more money. I know a few who would even like it if I made all the money. However I have never felt the need to make more or less than my spouse, lover, etc... I make what I make based on the education and expereince I bring to the job to be honest. I make no apologies for it and no matter what the man makes as long as he likes what he is doing...that's all that matters to me.
My mother made more than my father and I can honestly say that she never brought it up to my father and never made him feel less of a man because of it. The more she made the more they could enjoy there time together.
Money can make life easier but it can't give me what I want most of all... | |
|
| Does it really matter who makes more money???
Posted: 7/29/2007 8:57:57 PM | it depends on the person; but from my exp, an from this thread women who really don't care at all are a minority, my point is proven. As another poster here said, it's ok if you make less than me as long as you have enough to take care of yourself; whereas most men date women who make decidedly less than them regardless of their ability to take care of their responsibilities or not.
i know lots of men who date women who make alot less than their husbands-up to 15k less, an the woman doesn't have any plans or desire to improve her position; in fact some women are homemakers which means they aren't bringing in any income.
i don't know many women who would willing let their husband be a house husband or stay at a job cleaning dishes for 9/hr, cus that is all he wanted; i know many husbands who support their wives in not working or working les than rewarding jobs. | |
|
| Does it really matter who makes more money???
Posted: 7/29/2007 9:35:31 PM | Women often claim that men cant handle it if they earn more than the man, whereas the truth is.. its really the other way around....most women feel that they can always do better and or DESERVE to be with a man who earns more than them. The feeling of security is very important to women as is the approval of her friends...it's that simple...
Two thirds of working women still earn under $30,000 ( us dollars) a year.
and if they are divorced with kids they are raising them on that paltry pay and paltry child support.. It is easier to turn it around and say "women feel they deserve more"
but the truth is that for many women: they want someone who is doing well bcz though they do work all day ..they are not doing well.. With that pay base it is not too hard to find someone making more!!... Yes, they may want security,,which they do not have Even though they do work everyday...perhaps when That is addressed things will change.
I have been on both sides of this fence....I had a traditionally female career
(special ed teacher) and made very little money,,even with an advanced degree.. Then I switched to a job that is over 90% male, which one only needs a high school diploma and training for, and make many times what I used to..
The reactions have run the gamut... when I earned little I met some men who did not feel comfortable bcz I had more education ..And those who did not care about that or what I earned... When I earned more I met both men who still did not care about my salary and those with whom I could not go to the restaurant I wanted to bcz they did not want to spend that much but also wasn't comfortable with me treating at times.....Women are always told that "men Will have a problem if you make more".. Some won't ,,but some will.
So making more can actually mean that there are Some men who that will be bone of contention with...certain men remove themselves as an option.. cause it becomes an issue in the relationship..Women are told earning more will somehow bristle the man's pride...not always true....but sometimes true. Jme....J | |
|
| Does it really matter who makes more money???
Posted: 7/29/2007 9:55:56 PM | Think of it in terms of Alimony.
If a woman marries a carpenter and leaves him, she gets half of his gross worth, and a check, every month, based on his income.
If he makes 30,000 a year, she gets about 10,000. That's an average I've noticed.
If a woman marries a lawyer who pulls in about 150 grand a year (I said thousand earlier, because 30,000 is only grand if you get it all on the same day) and leaves him, she gets a substantially larger check every month, on top of the better house, a better car, and maybe even a boat and some unimproved property for sale and development. If he doesn't pay up, he just might go to prison and his credit will be ruined. That's job security if I ever done seen it!
Of course, there are women out there who are accustomed to a higher lifestyle and expect to continue it. To you women I say: Stay the h*ll away from me. I can afford it, I just don't care to do it.
Personally, i don't give a d*mn. I make my living, and I'm easy to satisfy so I have a lot of savings. I'm gonna build my house and live in it... if I end up marryin a rich woman, God bless me. I'll stay home and raise the kids while I farm and continue my notary business. Those steers don't whack their own nads off, for sure. 
Of course I realize the chances of that happenin are slim and none, which is also why my house will be finished before I get married... the girl won't have anything to gain from me but love and protection. | |
|
| Does it really matter who makes more money???
Posted: 7/29/2007 11:39:41 PM | *sigh*
God.
Brutal is always sooooo............brutal. But honesty is where it's at.
It matters.
Just like size matters.
It maybe sucks that it matters. But it matters.
Its very hard to totally negate eons of generational, cultural, and emotional upbringing. We have been programmed that the man is the stronger of the two..he is the protector, he is the dead fish and deer holder and the nad cutter offer.
We women don't want to do that. So you have to fit into our pre-programmed perimeters (god I love alliteration!) and provide.
Women are pink, soft, smell good, and can stand screaming children and poopy diapers. Long enough to get them walking and going to the bathroom on a toilet, anyway.
We are what we are.
Can't always fight city hall. And I think you mentioned that earlier, Marine....that you can't spend every single day fighting - that every single day there is going to be the possibility that you are going to disagree with someone......and you just gotta learn to bend like a willow in a high wind. Sometimes you gotta just say WTF.
  | |
|
Home
login 
