| single mom body issues
Posted: 7/23/2007 2:53:45 PM |
Simple answer is no, it doesn't turn me off as long as you still have curvy hips and a sparkle in your eye.
I'm completely impressed with the men in this thread. Wow ~ I was almost fearful to come in here. The usual "ick, ewww, nasty, blech" crowd must have caught on that women are beautiful in all forms and that there are a few honest, reasonable, and kind men out there. Kudos to you all who love a woman for who she is, not what is merely viewable to the eye. 
How is it some women look fantastic and have no stretch marks after babies? Just lucky genetics?
I really don't know for anyone but myself ~ and yes, I do feel that genetics were a large part of my good fortune. I had a terrible pregnancy, only weighed 117 on delivery day. BUT, had I had my choice, I would have happily gained much more weight, been healthier and would have probably been OK with the residual stretch marks. I'm just not built for having babies. I may have gotten away with no residual physical marks, but my heart certainly hurt when I was told that having more children was not an option. Stretch marks would have been a tiny price to pay for a larger family ~ at least for me. I may not have stretch marks, but I do have fat knees ~ and cankles ~ crickey......I didn't even get the joy of more babies for those particularly nasty traits. Damn it. LOL We all have body flaws ~ some just have treasures to show for them.  | |
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| single mom body issues
Posted: 7/23/2007 3:13:22 PM | Well for me...it's not an issue....if the guy has an issue....well....maybe he's not for you.
Here's the deal....: It's ALL of you. The good, the bad and the ugly. If they are really in for the long haul, love has a way of blinding your partner to the reality of childbirth. The traditional attire you can find at Fredericks is also an option for covering up...but that eventually has to come off if you ever shack up or get married so they may as well face facts. If they are looking for perfection and a temporary roll in the hay...you'll find out real fast. If that's all you're looking for, then it shouldn't really matter what they think if you both get what you're looking for. | |
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| single mom body issues
Posted: 7/23/2007 3:19:06 PM | | Absolutely not! I see any marks be it scars, strech marks, etc. to be sexy...they show you have lived your life and had some good and bad experiences...they give you character...afterall who wants a skinny little airbrushed model type that won't enjoy a burger with you sometimes :) | |
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| single mom body issues
Posted: 7/23/2007 3:42:11 PM | | I myself have dated woman with children and it would take a complete moron to not realize that her body would have gone thru some changes of course. as for me it never bothered me | |
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| single mom body issues
Posted: 7/23/2007 4:08:52 PM | | There is an old Native American saying: "Scars tell that you have lived life." A man who is so shallow that he would reject a woman because her body has changed is probably already on a lot of women's DNR (Do not Revist) list. LOL | |
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| single mom body issues
Posted: 7/23/2007 4:33:05 PM | | You have a pretty face and a beautiful body and that's what matters physically, and I get the impression from your profile that you're a nice person too and that just makes you sexier. And I personally find stretch marks interesting so if anything I think they would turn me on since it's a badge of your femininity. Please don't worry about them. It will just make you enjoy sex less and there really is no reason. | |
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| single mom body issues
Posted: 7/23/2007 4:54:34 PM | | femme, I think you're worrying too much about yourself. I'm sure a decent guy would have no problems at all with your appearance due to childbirth. It certainly doesn't change "who" you are so what difference should it make. I would have no problems with it, bedsides, we ALL have some sort of flaw be it small or very significant that we hope a potential SO could/would be willing to overlook. So if they have no issues with it, you shouldn't either. And if they do, then it's a sure sign they're totally wrong for you and you should move on. | |
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| single mom body issues
Posted: 7/23/2007 5:03:41 PM | | Stretch marks are a badge of honor for woman. Doesn't bother me one bit. | |
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choff
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Joined: 10/30/2006
Msg: 59 | |
| single mom body issues
Posted: 7/23/2007 6:30:04 PM | what shuts me down is fems going on and on and on about how they look  | |
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| single mom body issues
Posted: 7/23/2007 6:47:09 PM | The little things you think are big are not important.
A deal breaker for me is how you treat your kids. And don't fake it.... Men can detect fake maternal instincts like women can detect insecurities in a man.
Society seems to have bought into magazine covers. Think about it. "Oh I have a photoshoot in three months so I have to spend 5 hrs a day in the gym, then makup, perfect lighting, a great photog, and the good 'ol air brush and digital editing to make my legs longer. I'll be wondeful!!"
We don't want magazine covers, we want women with their feet firmly planted on the green, taking her time to sink that twenty foot put on the eighteenth hole. Then it's off to the pub! | |
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| single mom body issues
Posted: 7/23/2007 7:32:48 PM | | First, your question is legitimate. Second, I wish I looked as good as you. Third, Men are not that shallow. Boys are. I went thru my "hippy will not shave my legs" period. My ex didn't care. We have been divorced for over 25 years yet still close friends. He has never asked me "by the way how bad are your scars?" There is more to me than my scars. A good man would agree with me. And there are tons of them out there. When you find yours you will have more important things to focus on. Take care. | |
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| single mom body issues
Posted: 7/23/2007 7:39:46 PM | | if they're not working on top model, i don't know of a man who actually cares about stretch marks, but what do i know | |
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| single mom body issues
Posted: 7/23/2007 8:03:53 PM | femme - you look great so be proud of that. I am a single mom/ four pregnancies/ not skinny/ not fat - after babies and getting older - we don't have the same bodies that we had at 18. I have exercised - and not everyone's body makeup will produce the results of a firm belly and disappearing stretch marks - I am okay with that - and if that is the deal breaker for a relationship - then that relationship is not worth sharing that intimate side of myself with.
IMO - when the time is right - don't worry about those stretch marks - bring attention to the beautiful woman that you are... if he is worth your time - that is all he will be seeing anyways!!! | |
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| single mom body issues
Posted: 7/23/2007 8:46:39 PM | | One thing I definitely notice on here is that us guys seem rather ambivalent about the stretch marks, or even admire them as a reminder of the strength women have to go through childbirth, yet the women themselves are so hard on themselves. Seems to be a common theme these days, where men maybe are not as harsh on women as in decades past when it comes to looks but women are their own worst critics. It is much more a turn off to me if a woman is constantly nitpicking at her own body than any of the supposed flaws. I have dated females with many, many stretch marks, scars, heavy acne, etc..and none of that bothered me in the least, but the woman mentioning how horrible she looked really was somwhat of a turn off, especially if it were at the moment of intimacy. My personal opinion is that I prefer a woman who has been around in life, including giving birth. I personally do not think stretch marks are as hideous as some people seem to think anyway, and to me its just a reminder of her strength and I am a somewhat in awe of them. Don't be afraid to show them because I will eventually see them anyway if they are there. Be proud of who you are and what you went through to bring another life into the world. | |
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| single mom body issues
Posted: 7/23/2007 10:16:33 PM | | I'm in agreement with some of the other guys above. It's not a big deal. At all. When I was 18 and way more shallow/superficial than I am now I dated a girl who had a kid. I could tell she was a little self-conscious about her body but I wasn't any less attracted to her. As someone else said though, you being uncomfortable about it is what's most likely to make someone else uncomfortable. Try not to worry about it. | |
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| single mom body issues Femmphotog
Posted: 7/24/2007 12:49:02 AM | No disrespect intended hun ... if you can't relax about this, consider low lighting, maybe a romantic candle lit room... but trust me, If I were far enough along that I wanted to move my relationship to the physical level, I'd never notice a lil' ole' stretch mark, even one from St. Louis to Chicago! | |
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| single mom body issues
Posted: 7/24/2007 2:24:18 AM | | Looks get us interested but personality keeps us interested! My ex partner had stretch marks and it never turned me off, you have to see them as being lines of experience! | |
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| single mom body issues
Posted: 7/24/2007 3:29:40 AM | | not if he likes u and most men shag anything as long as its female with pulse,even if he dont like stretch marks most(there are a few insensitve/dumb ones)wont tell u | |
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| single mom body issues
Posted: 7/24/2007 6:35:26 PM | Seriously here, If I have made the connection with a woman, on the mental level, and it progresses to the point where she is willing to share her body with me, I really am not going for the physical look. (If this makes sense?????)
When it gets to that point with a woman, it's far beyond the physical appearance | |
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| single mom body issues
Posted: 7/24/2007 7:10:30 PM | | I actually like the 'signature' that having a child leaves on a woman's body! To me it's a sign of maturity in a woman and I value that very much! I feel that too many men look for a figure that is more boyish or cartoonish than anything! Reality is more enjoyable... and the fact that a woman has had children and has a more mature body is really what is much more fulfilling in my eyes. | |
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| single mom body issues
Posted: 7/24/2007 10:37:12 PM | | I have no problems with stretch marks or the excess "pouch" that some mother's cannot get rid of...peace and blessings | |
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| single mom body issues
Posted: 7/25/2007 12:59:33 AM | | I have often wondered how a guy that has never had kids feels about being with a woman that has had children. I mean it's not like he experienced the changes his own wife went through. After reading some of these posts, I have to say you guys seem really cool about it. I guess we woman can be harder on ourselves then men are. | |
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| single mom body issues
Posted: 7/25/2007 4:21:55 PM | I think this has crossed most mothers' minds at some point, to some degree. Thank you for starting this thread.
You gentlemen are absolutely wonderful!
*C* | |
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I for one think they make a woman look distinguished .