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| He Says Lose 30 lbs and He Will Give you an Engagement Ring.....Would Ya????
Posted: 7/24/2007 3:55:19 AM | I agree with glowingpepper.
1) If she expects him to marry her, and he's not keen on it, then she is expecting him to compromise, and a compromise never works unless both parties compromise in some way. So if losing the 30 pounds and keeping it off for 4 months is her way of compromising for a wedding, then by all means.
2) Diet pills are NOT healthy and a lot of them can cause health problems. Plus, the minute she stops the pills, the weight often comes back.
3) She needs to go and see a dietician, so that she can change the types of food she eats to be a healthier type of food that does not make for so much weight gain. He can pay, since this is what he wants.
4) She needs a personal trainer. He can pay.
5) She wants the wedding, so she should go see a priest and find out what he needs to do for an annulment. She wants the wedding, so she should pay for the annulment. Only fair.
But, I noticed that she said that he's good with her kids, she's good with his kids, but it was you, OP, who said they love each other very much. It sounds like a marriage of convenience.
My recommendation is that they open up to each other and really talk. Relationships are about love more than anything else. Doesn't sound like much of that is there. But it could be.
Just my $0.02 | |
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MW75
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Joined: 4/8/2007
Msg: 27 | |
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| He Says Lose 30 lbs and He Will Give you an Engagement Ring.....Would Ya????
Posted: 7/24/2007 4:21:32 AM | I agree with most of the fish peoples advice here - especially Miss W's
Most of you know its one thing to LOSE 30# - and that is no easy task to say the least! I would bet w/o surgery or such most could not do it but especially at an older age.
Experience shows us many times, the weight...comes back in time. As Miss W indicated - THEN what happens in this case - take the engagement ring back? If (he) enjoys the woman's company - aka get along great, why would (he) make such a statement. Sounds like abit of arrogance on his part - and, maybe part of it is knowing (she) can not / will not 'lose the 30#'s' (he) does not want a FULL comittment with her - therefore an arrogant counter offer.
To ask - ASK not demand, a person to begin an exercise program TOGETHER for her to lose some weight - and him to get better conditioned would be one thing - but to demand her lose the 30 #'s just to get engaged is being a *ss
I'm sure a counter offer would do well - (he) CAN'T have a 'perfect' bod & life at a senior age. So to sum it allll up....I'd dump him - and have a pic phone ready to send us a pic of the look on his face after doingso :) | |
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| He Says Lose 30 lbs and He Will Give you an Engagement Ring.....Would Ya????
Posted: 7/24/2007 4:22:34 AM | I would tell that guy to kiss my butt, If he tells a person to lose 30 pounds and he will give her a ring, Whatever... I would go and find another man that is going to love me for who I am !!! That is bull crap.. I mean honestly what if she told him get a bigger
D$%# and I will marry you, I saw this post and well it pissed me off, you love me for who I am not what I look like... Like I said she needs to tell this guy dont let the door hit ya where the good lord split ya!!! I hope your friend tells him to take a hike
so I guess my answer to the question would be if he told me to lose 3o pounds and he would give me an engagement ring.. I would tell him bye bye!!! | |
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| He Says Lose 30 lbs and He Will Give you an Engagement Ring.....Would Ya????
Posted: 7/24/2007 4:46:58 AM | I cant say to much about the Catholic religion and its rules for annulment etc, but I can say something about the wieght loss. His reasons for wanting this are his own and likely similer to mine. I reached 250 by Jan !st 2007 and decided Id had enough. How could I expect a thin woman to want an over wieght man like me. I began to explore ways of loosing wieght such as exercise, joined the Y, worked out at home. By April Id lost an unsatisfactory 5 lbs. Near the end of April I discouvered a book about the foods we eat. May 1st I quite eating all dairy products except yogurt, no red meat or pork and definately no sugar. Buy July 1st I lost 30lbs. My doctor was concerned until I explained Id changed my eating habits. Now I am 46 and Im sure there is some differance, yet I firmly believe no matter who or how old we are, just like the many differant cars out there, the human body reacts the same to bad fuel. The great thing about this besides loosing weight, is if I want a steak or pizza or whatever I can do it. (once a month or so) She'll as well as anyone else will be amazed how easy it is to do and how good you will actually feel.
A side note. Jan 1st I quite drinking Tea and coffee. My girlfriend at the time was amazed after three days. She said she'd got a really good sleep last night. I asked why she fiqured that was and her reply was"you didn't snore. My doctor suggested my previous snoring was likely the result of not getting a deep sleep.
I wish your friend the best of luck with this. | |
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| He Says Lose 30 lbs and He Will Give you an Engagement Ring.....Would Ya????
Posted: 7/24/2007 4:58:31 AM | | yup i would lol but i think im a bit opposite from most people on this site. He loves her, as she is .. she knows that but he's worried about her health, worried enough to see if this will help motivate her to get healthy, so that they can share as much time together as they can, without heart worries ect.. i would drop the diet pills though, join curves or maybe weight watchers, there are better ways to lose weight that don't involve grumpiness. | |
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| He Says Lose 30 lbs and He Will Give you an Engagement Ring.....Would Ya????
Posted: 7/24/2007 5:05:49 AM | Lets just guess and say he weights about 180, she could loose 180 lbs and buy herself a niice diamond without the judgement of a man that must notlove her for her and how fair is that.
Kick is ass gone and find someone that loves you for you, your freind of course and be happy with what you have and not what you should loose, not for someone else.
best of luck. | |
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| He Says Lose 30 lbs and He Will Give you an Engagement Ring.....Would Ya????
Posted: 7/24/2007 5:08:35 AM |  if it was me i would lose the 30 lbs and find a real man and lose the loser that told me i had to lose 30 lbs for a engagement ring that is not love sorry but if your friend marrys this guy things will get worse.and diet pills are not the answer to loseing it i tried them the weight just comes back on when you stop taking them and they are not good for you walking is the best way to lose the weight | |
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| He Says Lose 30 lbs and He Will Give you an Engagement Ring.....Would Ya????
Posted: 7/24/2007 5:20:27 AM | My very first thought was to tell her to lose the 30 lbs., and then tell him where he could put his ring...
My second thought was to tell her to lose the 30 lbs., take the ring and then kick him to the curb...
Then I thought that perhaps he just had her best interest in mind ~ her health ~ and was giving her a misguided incentive. But, the fact that he out-right refused her request to have his marriage annulled knowing that it meant a great deal to her, put the whole issue in a different perspective. He is manipulating and selfish. She's fortunate that he is showing his true colors before they said their vows. Imagine what his behavior and demands would be like after the wedding?
That's a dangerous relationship for her. She should heed those obvious signs of manipulation and self-indulgence and kick him to the curb immediately. Then lose the 30 lbs., buy a new wardrobe, get a new hairstyle, etc., do some soul searching to recognize her short comings, then do what ever it takes to correct them to build some self esteem. A woman who exudes confidence, independence and is truly happy with who she is, will attract the guy who possess those same attributes. In most cases, we attract the same people who we really are inside. If we always think the same thoughts and act the same way, we will always get the same results in the end. | |
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| He Says Lose 30 lbs and He Will Give you an Engagement Ring.....Would Ya????
Posted: 7/24/2007 5:29:22 AM | | Ladies, abandon all hope, at least with this loser. I got this same speech...WHEN I WAS 17!!! Come on!! If we as women are willing to put up with this crap, then men, some men, will continue to dish it out. Tell your friend to tell him that if he buys her a thirty pound engagement ring, then she'll lose the thirty pounds he feels she needs to. She might want to also tell him to have a ball-lift, cause I'm sure at his age, they must be hanging past his knees. | |
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| He Says Lose 30 lbs and He Will Give you an Engagement Ring.....Would Ya????
Posted: 7/24/2007 5:29:29 AM | Hey, He needs to change some for her too. She should eat 3 less bites of food at a meal. Park in the furthest parking spaace at stores, walk faster, not further. Take walks with him (he should enjoy her including him in this weight loss endeavor), she should walk up twentyeight stairsteps a day. She should lose weight for HER health, not for a man.How tall is she?Now I NEED to get back on track for myself and do my own advice--am a recent widow(young-57yo)need to get off my pity pot and LIVE live Live!!Dee PS also need s to incorporate more veggies, fruits,salads (withlowcal drssg) in diet.Maybe SHE needsa to switch and meet HER New Ideal MAN!!     | |
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| He Says Lose 30 lbs and He Will Give you an Engagement Ring.....Would Ya????
Posted: 7/24/2007 5:29:47 AM | | She is crazy if she does it for him. Loosing weight is something you do for you not to please a man. Am I the only one who sees that as being controlling?? Tell him to grow all his hair back and she will loose the weight see how that goes over. What I want to know is how she got a 30+ year marriage annulled. I was married Catholic to a man who abused me and committed adultry to an extent of fathering a child during our marriage and was told it would be impossible to get an annullment. | |
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| He Says Lose 30 lbs and He Will Give you an Engagement Ring.....Would Ya????
Posted: 7/24/2007 5:41:34 AM | | The last thing I knew was when you truely love someone ,you except them for them wght and all..and good god at 61 he wants a Barbie doll??..if she is healthy and feels good at her wght..then No man would make me lose the wght for a damn Ring..I would lose it for me and tell him Not to let the door kick him in the Azz on the way out...He knew her wght when they first met,so why is it now an issue?...Sounds to me like He has some Issues and needs to deal with them.Is marrying this man or being engaged to him so important she would risk her health taking Diet pills?If he Really Loved her he would give her a ring and get Annulled w/o any Stipulations..I don't forsee a Happy Relationship if she gives him what he's asking...JMO | |
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| He Says Lose 30 lbs and He Will Give you an Engagement Ring.....Would Ya????
Posted: 7/24/2007 5:47:04 AM | Imelda,
You go girl, every time I see this post before I sign in,
It just pisses me off more and more, I just can not believe that someone would have the nerve to say something like that to the woman he loves... I would kick him in the family jewels and he would never be able to have children, Just like a man to do something like that.... Unbelieveable... | |
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| He Says Lose 30 lbs and He Will Give you an Engagement Ring.....Would Ya????
Posted: 7/24/2007 6:08:15 AM | When did size 16 become a health problem? Thinking this is society's problem.
I was 14 lbs heavier than my future husband when we met, and he was 9" taller than me. He had to put on 28lbs to get the job he wanted - in the police force.
Later, with DVT before our 5th child, I had to go off all carbohydrates and protein and keep moving. I was so thin after the birth, my husband complained because he couldn't find me to snuggle up against in bed. I never want to be skinny again. It hurt having my bones rub together.
That's love. Why settle for less? I buried him on our 47th anniversary.
I have just had the first man to contact me here stop mailing because he obviously no longer wants to 'talk' because I am overweight. My daughter has told me that this has happened to her many times. You have to be slim and attractive to exchange mail with 'friends'? Thank goodness for the wonderful people who I have contacted here who continue to be my friends and respect me for who I am. | |
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| He Says Lose 30 lbs and He Will Give you an Engagement Ring.....Would Ya????
Posted: 7/24/2007 6:20:44 AM | | It is one thing to do it IF.. and that is a BIG IF she needs to do that to be healthier. IT is another thing ALL together if he just wants a hot girlfriend.. at that age.. if he hasn't learned by now there is more to a person than their weight and looks.... then he NEVER will. THE RING shouldn't not be dangled like a carrot... either way.. IF he had said.. HONEY LOSE WEIGHT BECAUSE I LOVE YOU AND WANT TO SPEND THE REST OF MY LIFE WITH YOU.....that would be a health thing.... BUT come on.... I guess even though people get old they don't mature!!!!! | |
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| He Says Lose 30 lbs and He Will Give you an Engagement Ring.....Would Ya????
Posted: 7/24/2007 6:29:04 AM | I don't do ultimatums. It's perfectly understandable that someone might not be attracted to extra weight, or thin, or a smoker, or a meat eater, or a republican etc. etc., but it's bizarre that you'd actually date someone for a long period of time and then want to change them...or else. (Although...I have to admit that I see lots of spouses trying to change the other the minute the vows are read.)
It seems to me that he isn't nearly as emotionally involved as "you" think he is. My guess would be that she's got just enough of what he wants at the moment to keep around. But no way does he love her. | |
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| He Says Lose 30 lbs and He Will Give you an Engagement Ring.....Would Ya????
Posted: 7/24/2007 6:29:06 AM | First, I would lose the weight for ME if I wanted to. Second, he needs an anullment first and many of these NEVER come through. Thirdly, he is seeking something of her SHE did't initiate and may see no reason for.
My take on it is he is stalling, enjoying benefits without comittment. She should call his bluff and tell him she won't stay in the relationship as she can't/won't lose the weight and the stress of his views are too much. Stop pursuing him and flee him. See how he reacts. Maybe he'll run too and then she is better off knowing his true intent. Maybe he'll pursue her as he is afraid of losing her and then they both sail into the sunset together. True love doesn't impose harmful things on another (side effect of meds, can't sleep) but assists the other to become a better person of the other's own choosing. | |
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| He Says Lose 30 lbs and He Will Give you an Engagement Ring.....Would Ya????
Posted: 7/24/2007 6:37:07 AM | This is funny. The women here think it's ok for this woman to "demand" the man have his marriage annulled, but do NOT think she should loose the weight for him. How many men here have had women try to change them? Yup.. I see alot of hands out there. Few people of any gender are actually willing to accept someone for the way they are, yet we all want people to accept us as we are.
The woman should lose the weight (which will most likely improve her health) but by eating and exercise habits, not pills. | |
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