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| Prisoner in one's own home
Posted: 7/27/2007 11:24:53 AM | | Well I for one don't live my life by statistics..but I guess maybe for you and your community that is what you do...I wasn't looking to be attacked or have others being attack either with my question..sorry but I am not used to have murderers running loose in the small community where I live so maybe I am not so city intelligent either ..what's happening here is not a normal thing so I thought I would ask how to deal with it..Yes I know I need to still live my life but again I ask how do I deal with the fear so I can... | |
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| Prisoner in one's own home
Posted: 7/28/2007 7:58:50 AM | Don't think there is a really answer to your question, unless you want to go to counseling .
You did the right think by asking people here, but from viewing a lot of these forums, their just here to argue.
I think this guy will give up soon or be caught, he's supposed to be on AMW tonight, that might help, for now just keep your doors locked, don't answer the door to people you who are strange, and you'll get through this
Have a Great Day,have a BBQ with family and friends, and have a beer
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| Prisoner in one's own home
Posted: 7/28/2007 3:33:50 PM | | first of all,don't let people take control of your life by their actions.second find a group of people who you can get support from and gain strength from as well and start hanging out with them.if you let someone keep you prisoner then you have given them the victory and you will never have a decent life anymore because there will be that fear always hanging over you like a dark cloud.i say get control of your life and don't let this person do this to you. | |
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| Prisoner in one's own home
Posted: 7/28/2007 8:05:10 PM | Wow - judging by some previous posts, some folks have been taking their grumpy pills ... (or else they haven't been taking their legally prescribed "happy" meds ...?)
Sheesh - would it really hurt that much to show a little compassion, or better still - if you can't bring yourself to be civil, simply button your lip (and avoid castigating a person for expressing their true feelings) ... ?
Notwithstanding the allegations that the initial murder of the gay bartender may have happened in a moment of panic, the subsequent murder of the two grandparents in their country home is truly frightening for people who similarly live in the countryside (and, you may recall police mentioning they believed firearms may have been removed from the home ... which shows that even an armed citizen can be murdered when taken by surprise ... but ... I digress ...)
Personally, I've had four murders in a one block radius - after each one, I breathed a little easier (especially when I discovered two were drug-related, and the double murder was in an after hours booze can - since I don't do drugs and don't frequent after hour booze cans ...)
In the navy, there's an expression called "chasing the splash" - during a naval battle, back when warships used to fire cannons at each other, the ships would steer towards the splash of the last shot that missed - the logic being that it was nigh on impossible to hit the exact same spot again ...
Now, back to the here and now: As intimated in a few posts, the murderer is likely long gone by now - thus, the people in the initial search area can "probably" lighten up ... however, it's no coincidence that the police have issued a "Canada-wide" arrest warrant and described the suspect as "armed and dangerous" - quite simply, he is.
And so, since I'm not allowed to carry a weapon with me when I'm off duty, and body armour is simply sooooo hot and heavy in this weather ... I lock my doors at night, and stay away from dangerous neighbourhoods. In other words, I don't take unnecessary risks ... and I don't lose sleep over things I can't control (e.g. people don't even have to step off the curb these days, and yet they still get run over by drunk drivers ...).
Here endeth the sermon.
... the only thing we have to fear is fear itself -- nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror which paralyzes needed efforts to convert retreat into advance.
-- FDR | |
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| Prisoner in one's own home
Posted: 7/31/2007 7:41:46 PM | He has been found, everyone can relax now. I think as macgregrrrr so aptly put it....
"would it really hurt that much to show a little compassion, or better still - if you can't bring yourself to be civil, simply button your lip (and avoid castigating a person for expressing their true feelings) ... ?"
need I say more? | |
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| Prisoner in one's own home
Posted: 7/31/2007 10:19:21 PM | | Thank you so very much for informing me about his capture Lady Chicory..best news I have had all day as I am sure everyone else is happying knowing as well. | |
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| Prisoner in one's own home
Posted: 8/1/2007 4:35:33 AM | Glad to hear he was caught.. You still need to be smart about what you do, without it changing your lifestyle to a point that you are afraid to go out.
My point about the Gloom and Doom is, there are alot more murderers out there that haven't committed their first one yet. Very few criminals are multiple or serial murderers.. So reading and obsessing about a murder that took place won't help. You are more likely to be someones first crime or as mentioned above hit by a car crossing the street regardless of where you live. Or having a heartattack worrying about it.
Be smart but look at the positive. What is the point of spending your whole life looking at the negative, great I didn't get murdered but I spent my whole life worrying and not doing what I wanted to do just in case, that is some life.. Life is too short as it is enjoy it. Be more of a TIGGER and not an EEYORE
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| Prisoner in one's own home
Posted: 8/2/2007 7:08:58 AM | goaliebns ( but not just you exclusively)
Where do you get reading and obsessing from? As we have repeatedly try to explain this is not something we picked up randomly off the news, It occured in a small social group, My children knew these people. I see your daughters in your profile, imagine if you had to explain to them why people they know and trust were dead this way. You cover thier faces to protect them so I highly doubt you would be so flipant if it was them effected. If this happened to neighbours / freinds of yours would you casually leave your daughters alone at home, what if your nearest neighbour was over a mile away would you leave them alone at night, it wouldn't bother you? I bet your bluster would vanish very quickly if your daughters were in our shoes. Your capacity to empathis is unimpressive.
And as far as "Be more of a TIGGER and not an EEYORE" remember neither was perfect Tigger was natorious for disregarding the feelings of others, and being self centered while Eeyore despite his bouts with depression thought of those around him. Furthermore insinuating that concern about the violent unjustifiable death of people you know personally is being an "Eeyore" is derogatory. This is a small community and people we know personally are barely in the ground show some respect.
Oh and I cut and pasted this from the Stouffville Real estate website it is thier sales pitch.....
"on the edge of the madness that is the GTA, Stouffville has offered those who call it home a best of both worlds existence. Within easy commuting distance, all that Toronto has to offer is available to Stouffville residents -" ...... umquote
"On the edge of madness" ?! That is not a small town like the one being discussed here so please try to understand it is a different lifestyle here. one you clearly do not understand. We are a small community if you remember "Leave it to Beaver" you will have more of a grasp, we still have that sense of community, amd know our local fire fighters, ambulance drivers, and police officers by name. The local doctor knows your cat had kittens, and you know all your neighbours, thier children thier pets and thier livestock, and they know yours. You sit at church supper with them, and on Sunday there was 2 seats vacant.
To believe he was still here was not unrealistic, he had been in numerous small towns locally, he grew up here, he had family and freinds here. Hiding is far easier on familar turf, as was proved when he was caught only hours after leaving here. Trust me in a small town we dont look to tv to get our news, they have no clue who we are, like you they are outsiders. Information is shared through the community, with the community.
Believe me, we knew he was here, we knew he was completely paniced and off the deep end. We also knew as soon as he left. I personally contacted the OP to let her know when he did leave. This is a concept larger communities do not understand. Small communities are like oversized familys, you litterally know everyone.
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| Prisoner in one's own home
Posted: 8/2/2007 8:00:05 AM | Stouffville has sure changed in the last 8 years I have lived here.. Reading Real Estate marketing hmmm.. Our slogan used to be Small town close to the City when I moved here.. Now it is Country living Close to the city http://www.townofws.com/index.asp
I grew up in a suburb of Ottawa but spent most of my life on my grandfathers Dairy farm in Winchester, same population as you are talking about 1 hour outside Ottawa. I know what you are talking about and the impact it can have on a community. My grandfather never believed he had a bank account number as everyone knew him by name.. I still visit and introduce myself as so and so's grandson..
The point is you can't live in fear.. The guy was caught in a different province for heavens sake.. Again there are more about to be first time killers than repeat killers out there. So it could happen anywhere, anytime. As was mentioned by others here if you let it affect your quality of life the bad guys win.. You can wake up every day going oh no it might be me or wake up going let's enjoy the day. Either way it won't change the outcome. | |
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