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Hagars
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Joined: 4/20/2008
Msg: 1076 | |
| Is it okay for a woman to hit a man?
Posted: 8/8/2008 6:37:27 PM |
One in four women are abused (physically, mentally, emotionally, and/or sexually).
Not good is it? even worse considering the statistic is the same for men.
While most abuse is men on women, you can have a female batter or a same sex batter.
Once upon a time government laws aloud husbands to "slap" their wife, it was a perception that thankfully has changed, unfortunately there's another perception that most abuse is from men. Since that perception is slowly changing documentation of DV issues/incidents are being recorded without the perception men do most of the abusing.
Its eye opening stuff.
Hitting anyone is wrong. It does not matter who is doing the hitting.
Could not agree more,however emotional violence is far more damaging but not really addressed. | |
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| Is it okay for a woman to hit a man?
Posted: 8/8/2008 7:10:28 PM | rock hunter so what share the kids if there are kids once the break up is complete. both have rights to their kids. kids is no excuse to stay in an abusive relationship. its stupid to stay in a relaionship that is a no go. and its not good for kids to watch it either. divorce . the kids will recover quite easily.
decker shut up. if u have nothing futher to say on subject other than attack me well kiss my ass ***hole.
hitting is wrong no matter who is doing it. | |
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| Is it okay for a woman to hit a man?
Posted: 8/9/2008 4:20:49 AM | Davey Decker
You are absolutely right. I do come from a different time and place where Men and Women were taught to respect one another, and not to raise a hand to one another, regardless of the provocation.
If you think that it is O.K. for anyone to lay their hands on someone else, (Male or Female), then I am glad to be considered olds.cool and not with the modern times. My argument is that being a gentleman never goes out of style, but your contention seems to be that being a neandrathal does not go out of style either. To each their own.
Your blurb at the end of your rant makes absolutely no sense. Maybe if you used some current examples to support your contentions ?
I think you may have just shot yourself in the foot if you were trying to impress any prospects out there. Now they will have a sense of who you really are. Hey, that may not be a bad thing after all. Thanks for the warning.
olds.cool | |
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| Is it okay for a woman to hit a man?
Posted: 8/9/2008 4:33:37 AM | | Not only no, but hell no! If you hit me, I will seriously consider hitting you back unless you are a child who does not know any better, in which case I would pick you up and hug the hate out of you. I wish this worked for women. | |
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| Is it okay for a woman to hit a man?
Posted: 8/9/2008 7:22:06 AM |
Davey Decker
You are absolutely right. I do come from a different time and place where Men and Women were taught to respect one another, and not to raise a hand to one another, regardless of the provocation.
I applaud that. I've always said that neither man nor woman should hit the other. If you take nothing else from my posts, take that, at least.
...So, olds.cool - given that back in your day men and women were taught to respect one another, were the figures for violence against women back in your day more than exists now, less than exists now, or about the same?
Also, given that men were taught to respect women, what were a woman's career prospects like back then? What was a woman's domestic role? How were career-minded, or unmarried mothers, or couples who lived together without being married, or divorced women viewed? What about women who liked getting drunk, or who openly bought contraceptives?
How were they viewed back in the day? Highly? Based on what you're saying, I'm thinking 'highly'.
If you think that it is O.K. for anyone to lay their hands on someone else, (Male or Female), then I am glad to be considered olds.cool and not with the modern times.
I don't. I've always said neither man nor woman should hit the other - but given that they ever DO, how do you respond to it?
Your contention appears to be that you end the relationship as soon as she lifts her hand for the first time, for whatever reason.
I disagree.
My argument is that being a gentleman never goes out of style, but your contention seems to be that being a neandrathal does not go out of style either. To each their own.
Being a gentleman *as the only dimension to your character* has gone out of style. I can be a gentleman, but it's not the only card in my deck. I pity the man who is nothing but a gentleman and cannot relate to any women in any other way - in terms of long-term life happiness, he has the odds stacked against him these days.
And no women I have ever been in a relationship with would ever feel I deserved to be called a Neanderthal. I enjoy treating my women well; always have, and always will. So it's obvious you don't know much about me, olds.cool, but I've already picked up on the fact that you cannot debate without feeling the need for conflict and escalation.
We can disagree without falling out, surely - gentleman.
Your blurb at the end of your rant makes absolutely no sense. Maybe if you used some current examples to support your contentions ?
I think you may have just shot yourself in the foot if you were trying to impress any prospects out there. Now they will have a sense of who you really are. Hey, that may not be a bad thing after all. Thanks for the warning.
olds.cool
Nope, I'm not here to 'impress' anyone - I'm here to honestly express myself regardless of who approves or disapproves. I pity the people who are here 'trying to make an impression'.
Some people will disagree with you from time to time - get over it. People can disagree on something but still have equally valid points of view. If you had that principle back in your day, then you understand the concept. If you didn't have it back then, then welcome to a new age!
Also, I'd hate to think anyone thought I was trying to dress my opinions up to get public approval in order to 'flatter to decieve'...incidentally, why are YOU here? | |
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| Is it okay for a woman to hit a man?
Posted: 8/10/2008 5:07:26 AM | davey decker
Was it something I said D.D. ? Something I said must have had some truth to it in order to
illicit such a lengthly, defensive, meandering, non-sensical response to my critique, (which I merely intended as constructive criticism). You might want to re-read some of your commentary to anyone who offered a different opinion than yours, (especially the Women), and you call yourself a man?.
olds.cool | |
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| Is it okay for a woman to hit a man?
Posted: 8/10/2008 5:21:01 AM |
Was it something I said D.D. ?
I think he took exception to your opinion that impressing the ladies is more important than being true to one's convictions. Such a comment makes one wonder if you're saying things because you really believe in them, or because you think they will make easier your path into some woman's panties.
and you call yourself a man?
Since a man's measure is how true he is to his convictions, not how impressed the ladies are, yes, I'd call him a man. | |
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| Is it okay for a woman to hit a man?
Posted: 8/10/2008 9:55:09 AM | Rock Hunter
Hey white knight, who asked you? Nice of you to come to the rescue. I did not hear anyone asking you to defend them. You seem to think that you are able to accurately speculate what my motives might be in regard to my post/opinion, (but I can assure you that you could not be further from the truth). I am a man of character, and what I say, I stand behind, and believe in. I am not a fool. I am not here to impress you or anyone else, and I have the balls to show my picture to back up whatever I say. Where's your pic Rock ? Are you hiding behind your name perhaps ?
Maybe you ought to look after your own business and let DD defend himself, (if he feels he needs to). I am sure that he is more than capable, (unlike yourself). If you have a personal beef with me, or my behaviour, step up to the plate, report me, or keep your opinions about me to yourself. I am not going anywhere.
olds.cool | |
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| Is it okay for a woman to hit a man?
Posted: 8/10/2008 11:29:09 AM | Hey white knight, who asked you?
Perhaps the same ghost that made you post in this thread? Anyway, in POF a "white knight" is usually the p*ssy-starved nice guy who rushes to rescue every time a woman doesn't get things their way, normally with the hope of earning a few p*ssy points, so I wouldn't be the one to which such moniker would apply.
I am not here to impress you or anyone else
Then explain your comment: "I think you may have just shot yourself in the foot if you were trying to impress any prospects out there." The very fact that you thought this up is quite revealing.
Where's your pic Rock ? Are you hiding behind your name perhaps ?
Whoa whoa, man, mind your blood pressure. I don't have a pic because a pic is unimportant. The message is what matters, not the messenger. And about "hiding", unless you publicly post your SS number, you're as much as anonymous here as I am.
Maybe you ought to look after your own business and let DD defend himself
I'm not defending anybody, just commenting on your "impress any prospects" comments.
If you have a personal beef with me, or my behaviour, step up to the plate, report me, or keep your opinions about me to yourself. I am not going anywhere.
The only "beef" I could have is your "impress any prospects" comment. The very fact that you thought about it long enough as to write it down, makes everything you wrote suspect: "Is he sincere, or trying to impress any prospects?" | |
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| Is it okay for a woman to hit a man?
Posted: 8/10/2008 11:42:36 AM | | Self Defence only ................................ i wouldnt be a punching bag for anyone ! and having been in a boxing ring more times than I can remember he had better run quick when i get up ! | |
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| Is it okay for a woman to hit a man?
Posted: 8/10/2008 11:50:45 AM | | It is never OK to hit another person. If it gets to that extreme, then someone needs therapy or space. If someone is suffocating you, you should leave. If they are angering you, and abusing you, you should call for help. If they are physically attacking you and the first two suggestions are not working, You should shoot them. | |
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| Is it okay for a woman to hit a man?
Posted: 8/10/2008 2:09:11 PM | Rock Hunter, ( aka. The White Night / The Rescurer / The Ghost),
You have definitely confirmed with your last post, that you are indeed a fool. Period. In my world, (not your make believe POF world), a white knight is someone who believes that it is their responsibility to right the world of any injustice, either real or imagined, and that is where you come in. You like to stick your nose in other people's business with commentary that does not concern or involve you. Who asked you for your comment on anything other than the question posed in the initial thread?
Hey White Night, why don't you post your pic, come out of the wood-work. Don't be afraid.
No need to hide behind your words. Step up, be a man, have some conviction/character. I wont let anyone hurt you. Promise. I will be YOUR White Night for a day, (just to give you a break from your life's vocation).
olds.cool | |
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| Is it okay for a woman to hit a man?
Posted: 8/10/2008 2:19:22 PM | You have definitely confirmed with your last post, that you are indeed a fool. Period. In my world, (not your make believe POF world), a white knight is someone who believes that it is their responsibility to right the world of any injustice, either real or imagined, and that is where you come in.
Somebody should take his meds. Mind your blood pressure, old f... I mean, olds.cool. Aren't you a bit grownup for public tantrums, anyway?
You like to stick your nose in other people's business with commentary that does not concern or involve you. Who asked you for your comment on anything other than the question posed in the initial thread?
Since that "impressing prospects" comment had nothing to do with the initial thread, I'd say you have no reason to complain.
Hey White Night, why don't you post your pic, come out of the wood-work. Don't be afraid.
No need to hide behind your words. Step up, be a man, have some conviction/character. I wont let anyone hurt you. Promise. I will be YOUR White Night for a day, (just to give you a break from your life's vocation)
No thanks, I like women. Please go back to "Family Guy", Herbert. | |
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| Is it okay for a woman to hit a man?
Posted: 8/10/2008 3:01:58 PM | White Knight
You state that you like Women, but I have my doubts based on your blurbs...sounds as though you might be a misogynist, seeing as you condone the beating of Women, (although it is only justified under certain circumstances, of course). A real Gentleman, for sure.
You must have something to hide if you are afraid to post your pic. Why are you afraid to show your face? You are a coward and a bully. Maybe YOU would like to attempt to give me my "meds", ***hole.
Now, go **** yourself, because I cannot believe that anyone else would want to.
olds.cool | |
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| Is it okay for a woman to hit a man?
Posted: 8/10/2008 3:56:39 PM | What's up with the verbally abusive old-fart? Don't mods ban for outburst like his on a regular basis?
Perhaps with that kind of uncontrolled anger though I can see why he would have to let any woman beat him. Because with that kind of anger it wouldn't be "a shot in return" but more of a bludgeoning.
Oh and old.fool his photograph has NOTHING to do with the thread.
Stick to the topic. | |
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| Is it okay for a woman to hit a man?
Posted: 8/10/2008 4:42:02 PM | Wow what is this, advocate violence month or what??? Same topic, different thread.
I am disgusted by some of the ridiculous attitudes but thank god for forums huh? Profiles are nice pretty little hallmark cards we make up for ourselves but the forums is where the personalities come out isn't it!!!!
^^^Molly - I echo your statement!!!
rock hunter - "just leave" can be applied to both men and women. If either one is in fear of danger then they need to do this and screw the materialistic crap for the moment. If the focus is on the materialistic stuff then I doubt the person (man or woman) is really fearful of much more then losing their "stuff and pride". Kind of like on the playground fighting over who got the swing first!! Really kind of stupid don't you think? And who won those fights?? Usually the big bully, until the teacher came along huh?? | |
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| Is it okay for a woman to hit a man?
Posted: 8/10/2008 4:52:13 PM | rock hunter - "just leave" can be applied to both men and women.
Agree. Now tell me why the victim has to leave, when the attacker is a woman. Empowering a female abuser by rewarding her abusive behavior is not the way to end violence.
If either one is in fear of danger then they need to do this and screw the materialistic crap for the moment.
How long should the "materialistic crap" be screwed? I mean, perhaps I'll be hungry and all the food and money is in my house, and I can't go there because there is some female bully still waiting to pounce.
Kind of like on the playground fighting over who got the swing first!! Really kind of stupid don't you think? And who won those fights?? Usually the big bully, until the teacher came along huh??
What if the teacher comes and tells the bully: "keep hitting, and you kid, don't you dare to defend yourself". Not a realistic scenario, but that's what so many people advocates here.
Now tell me: When will the bully stop picking up fights? When one of the victims hits back. That's true in high school, and it's true here.
Besides, the worse type of bully is the one who hits because he/she knows that the victim won't defend him/herself. In this case, females are the worst bullies, not only hitting, but demanding that the victim stays put and take it without complain, and even complaining if the victim retaliates.
And please stop trying to squeeze male-on-female DV in here. That's a totally different scenario, and equaling a male brute beating on a defenseless woman with a harrassed man trying to defend himself from a shrew is dishonest and deceitful.
When you say "don't hit back", you're advocating violence. Female violence. | |
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| Is it okay for a woman to hit a man?
Posted: 8/10/2008 5:09:59 PM | rock hunter - you are describing what men have been doing for a very very long time. I do NOT advocate for women to do this, I understand your point. And that is why I said both men AND women should leave if in a dangerous situation.
You are not listening to me, I am saying the same thing whether the victim is male OR female since there are BOTH kinds. I am not trying to argue with you that it's only women that are victims. YOU keep saying it's the female on male DV thing. Your post is one sided in that it's addressing mainly the male victims.
And I absolutely agree that to empower a female abuser by rewarding her behavior is wrong. To the degree that I attended a DV support group where just this crap was going on. I heard other women tell one lady (who obviously was the abuser) how to hit herself before court so as to gain the judges sympathy.
It was the most disgusting thing I ever heard. I was so angry and went immediately to the director of the agency and made it clear that this was so wrong. It is bad enough for REAL victims to get help, this behavior is exactly what supports what you are saying. I am happy to say that the leader/facilitator of this particular group was "dismissed".
Rock Hunter - my opinion isn't for females, it's for ANY DV victim. And the opinion of just leave is applied to the point of possible violence. It is not worth it. I also have seen known male victims who did leave their homes (as in the case of the woman at the support group) who not only were awarded their house/money/ect but their children as well. They did just leave when violence arose, and it was the right decision. Yes for a moment they were displaced but it paid off in the long run.
I have gone to DV shelters for women (and they are always FILLED to the point of waiting lists) who chose to leave, they end up homeless. So believe me it's both men and women who suffer from this thing called DV. And I do not take the female side. I take the victims side.
PS - The true victims are the children of families that deal with this, they have no choice to just leave. | |
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| Is it okay for a woman to hit a man?
Posted: 8/10/2008 5:18:41 PM | | I think its never reasonable to hit a women. most of the man that do are just idiots and dont feel very manly because they try and take back the male status by hitting a women to make them feel strong but in fact they are the weakest mentally. | |
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| Is it okay for a woman to hit a man?
Posted: 8/10/2008 5:33:35 PM |
YOU keep saying it's the female on male DV thing. Your post is one sided in that it's addressing mainly the male victims.
That's because this thread is entitled "Is it okay for a woman to hit a man?" | |
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| Is it okay for a woman to hit a man?
Posted: 8/10/2008 5:37:06 PM | *sigh* Another stupid thread...
Anyone with a quarter of a brain in their heads would know that it's not ok to hit anyone unless it was out of self defense (with no other options) or if it was consensual (some people like that sort of thing, in which case, to each their own). | |
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| Is it okay for a woman to hit a man?
Posted: 8/10/2008 6:00:39 PM | YOU keep saying it's the female on male DV thing. Your post is one sided in that it's addressing mainly the male victims.
That's because this thread is entitled "Is it okay for a woman to hit a man?"
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Rock Hunter:
Out of everything I wrote this is the one thing that you chose to listen too??? Are you serious??? Nothing else made any kind of impact???
For some reason Rock Hunter I am starting to believe that you might be one of those men who enjoy provoking some women to the point where they would lose control so that they lose control and do strike, thus justifying you hitting them, which is in itself a form of DV abuse.
Just like the women who hit and provoke men and then cry "He hit me", there are men who do the exact same thing. There are men who like to bully and abuse (whether verbally or physically) women to the point the women fight back and then the men say she is hysterical/emotional whatever and all the while he is enjoying his ability to control her and make her react. The same as that bully in the schoolyard who belittles and pushes others till they fight back, and at that point the one who fights back gets into trouble because they hit first.
I don't give a damn, it is wrong (unless in life threatening danger) to hit, whether woman OR man, and to stand there and say she is the abuser because she fought back against a bully who says "put up with it or leave" is crap. There is a very common form of abuse by men that is coming to light much more lately, and that is mental abuse. For a man to humiliate, bully, antagonize, threaten a woman is abuse. Whether it is threats with violence, her children, her home/stability, whatever it may be, it is abuse. So rock hunter if you want to keep playing the it's all about poor men and crazyy psycho witches go ahead. But it's bs.
And for anyone to maintain such a onesided view is unhealthy, doesn't allow growth, and is toxic for any future relationships they may get into.
Of course I could be wrong here, and you may just be one of those poor innocent nice abused guys that mean old woman beat up on.  | |
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| Is it okay for a woman to hit a man?
Posted: 8/10/2008 6:11:54 PM | Out of everything I wrote this is the one thing that you chose to listen too??? Are you serious??? Nothing else made any kind of impact???
That's the only thing I answered because you said my post was one-sided, so an explanation was in order. About all the other things you said, we mostly agree than male-on-female violence is wrong, and your anecdotes are only that, so what's to discuss in there? What "impact" did you want to have?
Just like the women who hit and provoke men and then cry "He hit me", there are men who do the exact same thing.
To provoke is one thing, to hit is another. Don't mix them. To answer with violence to a non-violent provocation is wrong.
There is a very common form of abuse by men that is coming to light much more lately, and that is mental abuse. For a man to humiliate, bully, antagonize, threaten a woman is abuse.
If we enter into the mental abuse field, women have a hell of a head start on men. | |
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