Rhett1
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Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 76 | |
| why dont men date pregnant women?
Posted: 7/28/2007 7:54:18 AM | Str8ahd: I think you're being a little Nazi-like, but I think your general idea is not necessarily a bad one. I agree that the child should be the priority, but it's ridiculous to tell single mothers that they shouldn't date while they have young children. I assume you are speaking from a level of frustration at the number of children out there who don't have a true father or who are living in poverty because their single parent can't pay the bills.
I think some definitely need to be more choosy in WHO they date and especially who they have children with.
But I will write the name Susan Smith...does that ring a bell? Do you want this type of crime happening more often because a woman feels stifled by the fact that she has children?
(For the record, I'm not at all saying that all single mother's (or even a good percentage) would murder their children for a man, but it does happen.)
Of course, this all goes back to people being more responsible. Both men and women. I think that men need to think a little more about what they could be getting into when they sleep with a woman and don't use birth control (come on, I'm sure there aren't THAT many "accidents"...to me, an accident is the use of birth control that fails, not "hoping" that using nothing doesn't result in pregnancy. OP, I'm not implying that this was exactly the case with you.)
I'm sorry, and I know this will piss people off, definitely, but I think a number of women (again, not necessarily talking about you, OP) hope that they can get money from a guy by having a baby, or that they can "trap" a man. I know women who've done it and I know men who've had it done. I know women who have babies every so often to increase their welfare cheque. This is not something that doesn't ever happen. It's also not the case with all single mothers.
Us women have done this to ourselves and I have a hard time with the "men are jerks" sentiment always being the case.
Yes, a man who is in a relationship with a woman, then dumps her because she gets pregnant IS an ass, but sometimes women do try to get a deeper commitment by avoiding or "forgetting" birth control. This isn't a new thing. | |
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| why dont men date pregnant women?
Posted: 7/28/2007 8:08:04 AM | As a woman, I personally think that's a sickening scenerio. Ladies need to get it together. First of all, one of the unknown fact about men is that when dating a woman, unconciously he doesn't want to do anything for her that is even remotely considered "work". However, once she proves that she's a good catch, he will WANT to do all those things that come along in relationships. A single and dating pregnant woman signifies weakness on her part to be in control of her life and shows no respect to her future partner. Or her baby for that matter--"yes, Billy I love you but didn't care enough about you to have my sh** together for your life." Oh gosh, and the sexual aspect is just gross!
If I were a man, I would run as fast as I could! | |
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| why dont men date pregnant women?
Posted: 7/28/2007 9:13:37 AM | "Str8ahd: I think you're being a little Nazi-like, but I think your general idea is not necessarily a bad one"
"GODWINS LAW" It really does play out that way. Interesting. | |
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| why dont men date pregnant women?
Posted: 7/28/2007 9:44:51 AM | | Eldubu msg 78. I didn't say that single mothers of young children shouldn't date, that was somebody else. I get enough crap for what I do say, I don't want to take it for what I don't. I said pregnant women should not date, | |
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| why dont men date pregnant women?
Posted: 7/28/2007 10:47:27 AM | | I would wonder, where is the father? I would also question the type of men she goes for considering the guy just knocked her up and left her. It also screams baggage. I'd run for sure. Futhermore, she's pregnant dating really should be the last thing on her mind. | |
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| why dont men date pregnant women?
Posted: 7/28/2007 10:54:21 AM | | God forbid a woman could go six months or so without dating. Saying that, I don't have a huge problem with it. People need friends. Some people need friends at certain times in their lives more than others. I can understand that. | |
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| why dont men date pregnant women?
Posted: 7/28/2007 11:20:04 AM |
I happen to agree with str8ahd, PREGNANT WOMEN SHOULDN'T DATE
forget about the laws, forget about suppositions, has anyone considered the child(s)
907daydreamer, your friend was lucky she found a guy, for every success there 100's of non successes
That's the thing, I agree also and my second posts on this topic say as much...pregnant women shouldn't be dating...but sometimes a situation comes along that is better for mother and child. It doesn't make the guy a chump or the woman an anti-birth control commitment Nazi looking for a meal ticket...it just is. And you're right, for every one there are probably more than 100 that don't work out...but the same is true for all relationships, whether the child is screaming or still kicking in the womb or not even a twinkle in their parent's eye. The people I mentioned earlier, they are a loving happy family now. They have two more children. It happens...like I said, sometimes to those who don't expect it...and their lives are better for it. | |
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| why dont men date pregnant women?
Posted: 7/28/2007 11:25:40 AM | | ^^^^^^^ Which goes to show that you really have to consider each situation on it's own merits. Well put, 907. | |
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| why dont men date pregnant women?
Posted: 7/28/2007 11:44:57 AM | | Funny how this is "ask a guy" and yet more women are responding to this then men are. Perhaps this is a topic best put into another topic thread all together so that both sides can debate about the pros and cons of such a scenario. It seems the general opinion of men here is "Deal with having your baby first, worry about the dating after." | |
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| why dont men date pregnant women?
Posted: 7/28/2007 11:58:32 AM | 1. I think it's safe to say that 99%(higher) of men prefer to have their own biological children.
2. Dating is the getting to know the each other process, in my opinion it would be more difficult under these circumstances.
3. Why should he? I can think of a million reasons why a guy shouldn't date a pregnant, but not one single good reason to do so. | |
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| why dont men date pregnant women?
Posted: 7/28/2007 12:21:04 PM | | 907, I hope you will accept my apology. I had no business calling your friend a chump, however incensed I was. | |
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Rhett1
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Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 88 | |
| why dont men date pregnant women?
Posted: 7/28/2007 12:33:33 PM | Jet: "Ask a Guy" and "Ask a Girl" are open to everyone. I think this belongs in this forum because the person wants to know why men don't date pregnant women. Women have every right to chime in too.
Str8ahd: Oops...my apologies.
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| why dont men date pregnant women?
Posted: 7/28/2007 12:45:19 PM |
1. I think it's safe to say that 99%(higher) of men prefer to have their own biological children
No its not safe to say. But then maybe I'm the 1%... but if I had a LTR with a woman who had children and their father wasn't in their life, I would have no problem treating them as my own assuming they nor their mother objected.
I would adopt children as well and treat them just as if they were mine by blood. I have a son already, I love him dearly, yes it makes me happy to know I have one that I helped bring into the world but I love all children.
Prefering them to being my own biologically I don't think really matters when/if I take on the responsibility of being called "Dad".
But the dating a pregnant woman, it would require me to know the reasons she wasn't with the father anymore. I'd find it odd and a high possibility the reason she was single was either a poor choice in father for her children or that she was unbearable as a person herself... I'd definately be wondering what was wrong with her personaly. Not to say that there would have to be its just an unusual situation that would have to be understood on a case by case basis. I'd probably avoid dating until she gave birth to her child. | |
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| why dont men date pregnant women?
Posted: 7/28/2007 1:17:45 PM |
Mepalmer, you left out the most important part of why men date pregnant women.
...They can't get them pregnant! lol
@ Tim0066
Ohhh, Yes. Can't forget THAT reason.   | |
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| why dont men date pregnant women?
Posted: 7/28/2007 1:26:55 PM |
907, I hope you will accept my apology. I had no business calling your friend a chump, however incensed I was.
No worries Miss, I get a little pushy with my idea of morality at times too...it's frustrating because the answer is so obvious to you, and I understand the assumption.
Back on topic...OP...it takes a very special person to fill the shoes you've provided.
Here's hoping you make your choices with discernible wisdom for the sake of your child. | |
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| why dont men date pregnant women?
Posted: 7/28/2007 3:26:04 PM |
... im not looking for sex with men, and i wouldnt expect a stranger to care for a kid thats not his, and as for the ex in the picture forget it hes out........
To the OP, I understand you're lonely and I understand you've been betrayed by your ex, who doesn't seem to be a good man by anyone's standards. By definition, "dating" implies that there is an intent to inter into and foster a romantic relationship. I think a lot of us are trying to point out that when a woman is pregnant, that's not the time to be dating. That time should be focused on the pregnancy, keeping yourself healthy and planning for the new life that you're carrying. The dating process will take some of the focus off of that. And you have to understand that there are men who will date you because of the things I joked about with Tim0066. Pregnant sex. There probably won't be many, but there are men who are not above using pregnant women. If you're lonely, go out with friends of either sex. I see nothing wrong with getting to know a man and spending time with him if you run into him accidently or something, but I don't encourage actively pursuing a relationship at this time for all the reasons I've noted above.
The bottom line is a man that doesn't want to take advantage of the pregnant sex is going to be leery of your situation. It's common for any man to feel this way about dating a woman who's pregnant with another man's child.
I would seriously consider putting off dating at this time and focusing on your pregnancy.
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Paws81
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Joined: 10/25/2006
Msg: 93 | |
| why dont men date pregnant women?
Posted: 7/28/2007 3:59:18 PM | I find it hard to believe this is a question. Very well, Guy Psychology 101. What men want:
-Sex without consequences
-A' one man' show
The first point is made horrifying real with a woman who is about to give birth sitting right in front of him.
A second, and almost as immediate, reaction is: "It's not mine." Why, according to guy logic, would a man be interested in taking care of a child that another man produced? Men only want one man on the scene, that being him ALONE. Men aren't charitable in these matters. We don't readily adopt. We aren't wired for nurturing.
Now, here's where men and women REALLY differ. Men want to have sex , and in doing so makes a woman pregnant. Note that I did not say, 'wants to settle down and start a family with a white picket fence.' NO. Men are wired to have sex and breed. Why do you think we want it all the time? Biologically, it perpetuates the race and thus makes sense. Socially frowned upon, but that's another thread.
A pregnant woman symbolizes the end of fun and carefree days for a man. It means responsibility for a new life (that may not be his) and to support the woman who co-made it. Not a rosy view for the Alpha male type. That is why pregnant women can't find a date...if not for the obvious fact that you're carrying another man's baby and out on the prowl. | |
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| why dont men date pregnant women?
Posted: 7/28/2007 4:11:47 PM | Focusing on her pregnancy doesn't mean she can't live a normal life...
Why do you think dating (or even sex for that matter) will harm the baby?
What exactly does focusing on the pregnancy mean? Sitting at home doing nothing? | |
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| why dont men date pregnant women?
Posted: 7/28/2007 8:29:28 PM | If one is pregnant, one cannot lead a normal life? no
anyways back to the topic, You already heard why dating isnt a good idea
you have to take in account that there are weirdo's and freaks out there, some of these freaks have fetishes for pregnant women?
It wouldn't be fair to someone or yourself to begin a new relationship knowing that in months, your time will be consumed by your new baby
hormones may prevent you from using good judgment. You don't want some loser around your new baby | |
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| why dont men date pregnant women?
Posted: 7/28/2007 8:52:51 PM | Why do you think dating (or even sex for that matter) will harm the baby?
HPV, which can be contracted even with the use of a condom, can be transmitted to a child at birth and manifests itself in the throat and vocal cords.
Men generally can't be tested for it unless they show physical symptoms of infection. | |
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| why dont men date pregnant women?
Posted: 7/28/2007 10:39:50 PM | Uhm, how about sitting her ass down and actually taking care of her children and child on the way instead of looking for another sucker to pay her bills? I mean, really, that is the bottom line, isn't it?
I get so grossed out when I see mothers out with god only knows kind of trashball skeezer, especially when it is young children. Have they ever bothered to read the stats on abuse, particularly sexual abuse, of children when non-biologically related men are allowed in the home? Hmm...I know this is real novel idea in a world of "me and my needs first" society, but when you have babies, you make a commitment to raising them in a loving, stable home on in which your children can learn and grow up to be productive members of society. I don't think this happens with the irresponsibility of having a revolving door of men.
Sorry, pregnant women dating, especially online? Gross, really gross. | |
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| why dont men date pregnant women?
Posted: 7/29/2007 3:42:10 AM | | The only way I would date a pregnant woman is if I was the one that got her pregnant, otherwise no way, since I want to date someone with no kids. | |
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| why dont men date pregnant women?
Posted: 7/29/2007 3:49:01 AM | I think that men who get a girl pregnant then leave them are the lowest form out there. Women should start being more careful who they sleep with, Im so sick of all these deadbeat guys getting all the action. Women who go for those types are usually low in confidence and have low standards.
I stick by my point that I will never raise anyone elses kids, only my own biological kids or no kids is my motto. If I am lucky enough to meet a decent woman with no kids who wants the same, then great. | |
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| why dont men date pregnant women?
Posted: 7/29/2007 9:24:20 AM | As you know, not all psychologists are fit to be psychologists. I am not going to evaluate the psychologist who made it as a teacher and someone who wants to be a psychologist. I will give my take on this.
Someone said men prefer their own biological children. That's true, but if I met an attractive single mother who had one daughter or son that's not an issue for me. The issue is how is the woman with me. I would treat the daughter if I got serious and married to the woman like my own biological child and love the child male or female as my own. I like children.
When it comes to a pregnant woman, many people might find it unusal that a pregnant woman even wants to date considering they might think she should be focused on being with family, dealing with her pregnancy; not dating.
It might frighten most males. A female who is very attractive and pregnant and seemed a victim of a bad male may have somewhat of a chance of getting a boyfriend if she wanted one. It is hard to date even when you're not pregnant. You could try to make some male friends. Don't be in a hurry to date. Being pregnant can be an emotional experience and if the person you are dating is not so good for you that won't be good.
I am not an expert, though... That's just my 2 pence or cents... | |
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