| Was I a jerk?
Posted: 7/15/2008 10:50:20 AM | Damned if you do, Damned if you don't. You got caught in a bad situation. She should have...
1. Never involved the kids, but if she did, she should have...
2. Told you how many she had, and also told you...
3. She didn't have enough car seats.
That's too much for so early in a relationship. You were right to think not only of the kids' safety, but your driving record. It was too early in the relationship to take that kind of a chance...not that anyone should ever take that kind of a chance.
She was the jerk. You had some common sense.
But in the future, be careful with gals you've only sat next to in a bar twice. | |
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gvnage
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Joined: 6/16/2008
Msg: 252 | |
| Was I a jerk?
Posted: 7/15/2008 11:33:18 AM | | No you were exercising something called sanity. Sounds like she kina took you for the ride. Surely she knows that 6 kids is a lot for anyone to consider hauling and she had already seen your car. It was her lack of consideration for her own children to manipulate you into an untenable situation bc you were ' a nice guy'. Dont blame yourself. Thank goodness you have common sense. If she really loved her kids, she would be as concerned about their safety w/ the car seat issue as you are. If she tried to project her lack of planning and care onto you, you were manipulated and played. You had every right to turn that one down. You were right on for sticking up for what you knew was right. These kind of selfish and manipulative women ruin the nice guys for the rest of us. | |
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| Was I a jerk?
Posted: 7/15/2008 11:50:06 AM | She totally lied to you! She said 2 and she had 6! That is a major deal. She's lying about her own children, so she's a jerk.
No wonder she got mad - she's a jerk!
I wouldn't spend the day with 6 kids I didn't know either when you're just getting to know someone.
Lastly, I wouldn't cram that many little ones into a car either. She's not thinking, she doesn't sound like much of a mother because of that and the drinking and leaving them at home, god knows if it's by themselves or not.
I hope you never see her again, but if you do and she tries to rip into you, tell her off. | |
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| Was I a jerk?
Posted: 7/16/2008 3:50:21 PM | you totally did the right thing. not jerky at all.  | |
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| Was I a jerk?
Posted: 7/18/2008 7:05:00 PM | yes. you are a jerk... or were..
but not for the obvious reason.
You tip toed around calling the woman out on her obvious deception.
And you didn't want to know how many kids she had as you didn't bother to ask.
When she said that she had kids, you should have asked
1. " oh.. how many?" or
2. "so how old are your kids?"
but you were too much of a coward to ask the obvious questions as you didn't want to appear impolite. see what that got you?
You would have discovered immediately how many children she had and their ages.
as it is, you let her off the hook. YOu either didn't really care about her family as you wanted something else from her or you are a bit deaf.
I think that you were more interested in railing her than in actually finding out anything pertinent about the woman. It's a normal part of conversation to ask " how many children do you have?" after a woman says that she has children.
Then later on, when the entire troupe of children ran out, you didn't immediately put an end to this charade to say to her"
" hey, you never told me that you had a half dozen kids. You left quite a bit of information out when you told me about yourself! What were you thinking?"
It should be a person's choice to be involved with such a family. She essentially thrust you into this position where there was nothing you could do to gracefully exit.
YOu took the cowards way out of finding some other reason for not wanting 6 kids in your car. ( whatever the number of children was )
She quite clearly lied by ommission about her living and family situation.
So , yes, you are one of those jerks masquerading as a nice guy.
This sort of reminds me of the guy who stopped to pick up the hitchhiker only to discover that her boyfriend, 2 kids and the dog were hiding behind the tree and in the bushes. They all rush out afterwards to jump in the car.
Call things as they are when you see them.
Man, she fooled you , and you were willfully blind.
and then you whine when it all caves in on you.
jerk. - 1
nice guy - 0 | |
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| Was I a jerk?
Posted: 7/18/2008 7:09:33 PM | wow.
this is an old old old thread.
i remember seeing this thread like 4 months ago. | |
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| Was I a jerk?
Posted: 7/18/2008 7:11:50 PM |
this is an old old old thread.
i remember seeing this thread like 4 months ago.
It's one year birthday is in 10 days 
Actually, I didn't even look at the original date when I posted, though I usually do  | |
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| Was I a jerk? NO!
Posted: 7/18/2008 7:26:24 PM | | Indeed -- she was the jerk! If we are to believe this scenario -- she should have discussed with you that she'd like to invite her children along and would that be okay. Who would have known how many children she had and the situation about seating etc. All young children up to a certain age MUST have proper seating and you don't even get in the car unless that's settled up front. I am sure that every state has the same requirement. Remember that the only survivor of Princess Diana's car wreck was the 1 guy who was wearing a seat belt. Safety first, period! | |
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ils99
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Joined: 5/30/2008
Msg: 259 | |
| Was I a jerk?
Posted: 7/18/2008 7:43:13 PM | | No way. Its good to hear that you put the law AND everyone's safety before the fun. Not enough people do that. Plus there was no way you could've guessed that she'd have 6 children. It sounds like she'd rather risk breaking the law and the safety of her own children for the sake of a little fun. I think the mother was pretty dumb to want to risk it all and rude to even assume that you'd agree to take the kids without asking you first. Personally it sounds like she was using you. Don't beat yourself up over it. Move on and find a woman who will appreciate you better. | |
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