| Was I a jerk? YES
Posted: 7/29/2007 9:44:30 PM | When she said the K-Word= KIDS
you should have IMMEDIATELY
asked the specifics... how many--age--sex
NEVER take on that kind of responsibility without
knowing how many seatbelts and lifejackets you need.
That many kids w/out seat belt= a news report
T | |
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Rhett1
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Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 177 | |
| Was I a jerk?
Posted: 7/29/2007 9:45:27 PM | tdh:
In between these two versions of truth is 6 kids that was promised a trip to the lake. That should have been paramount in the OPs mind. I agree with you that we are only hearing one side of the story, but what would you suggest the OP do? The fact (as far as we can tell) is that there were 6 kids and not enough seat belts. He chose not to endanger them as well as break the law. In the end, that's what matters. In the end, I still say their mother is the one who was the bigger disappointment.
It really isn't THAT unusual a thing that a woman in her situation might lie about how many kids she has, hoping that once this guy gets to know her a bit more and fall madly in love with her that he'll magically forget the little "fib" she told.
It happens a lot, people lie to look good to a potential suitor. It's been going on for centuries, I'm sure. | |
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| Was I a jerk?
Posted: 7/29/2007 10:09:39 PM | | this doesn't even make sense, this whole situation is gross. | |
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| Was I a jerk?
Posted: 7/29/2007 10:11:37 PM |
The Op driving off and breaking the promise made to those kids only add another disapointment to a long list of disapointments in their lives. The Op took the easy way out and in so doing only further instilled into 6 kids left crying on the sidewalk that it is indeed "A hard knock life".
It's not the OP's obligation to make these kids feel good - it's their mother's (and maybe the first thing she should really do is buy a car to take them around!) Besides, he didn't make any promises to those kids, it was the mother who put words in OP's mouth. | |
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| Was I a jerk?
Posted: 7/29/2007 10:24:38 PM | I would never have made a promise to my children that I was not 100% in control of ensuring it happened.
Putting your childrens' trust in YOU into the hands of a stranger is ... let me think...
Oh, Stupid. That's it.
Long after this post is electronic flotsam, her kids will have learned that Mom isn't good for her word. They won't even remember "that guy". | |
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| Was I a jerk?
Posted: 7/29/2007 10:33:19 PM | | No you were not a jerk. The woman was pushy and obnoxious. Obviously she is on the prowl for a daddy figure for her kids. You did the right thing, you were obviously gentlmenly enough to offer to do a cook out. She was in the wrong, and had a lot of nerve. Sounds like trash to me...............I wonder how many of her 6 kids had the same father. | |
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| Was I a jerk?
Posted: 7/30/2007 1:20:46 PM | "I wonder how many of her 6 kids had the same father."
I read this same basic line several times on this thread and just have to say that a mothers low moral standards and stupid behavior does and will effect the poor kids. BUT, it is not the fault of the kids whether they all share the same father or each has a different father. Don't punish the kids for their mothers poor judgment they are each an individual child worthy of love and compassion irregardless of who their parents may or may not be. | |
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tdh46
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Joined: 1/7/2007
Msg: 183 | |
| Was I a jerk?
Posted: 7/30/2007 1:42:53 PM | "long after this post is electronic flotsam, her kids will have learned that mom isn't good for her word. They won't even remember "that guy"
Something tells me that the kids already know that mom is not made of the best stock.
But the Op had a chance to show the kids that there are good people out there, The kind of people that will go the extra mile. The Op had a chance to really leave a good lasting impression on those kids.The Op could have been "that guy" for all the right reasons. I just wish he had made a better effort to do it.
I have no idea what the Op may have been able to do about the sticky situation he was faced with. Maybe in the end the result might have been the same . But that "shit how do i get out of this" when he is first driving up keeps sticking in my head. That line of think is just foreign to me. Maybe i am being too hard on the Op by expecting him to react the way i would have in the same situation. | |
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| Was I a jerk?
Posted: 7/30/2007 2:17:10 PM | This the kind of thinking TDH thats makes me shake my head and remember the phrase there is a sucker born every minute, the reason why swamp land in Florida is worth more than properties in Beverley Hills, anyway back to the topic
People like you get fixated on "Oh those poor kids" so what if he said "shit how do i get out of this" most men in that situation would of done the same, even if he found alternative ways to get the kids to the beach what next? "oh mommy look at those boats, lets go on the boat" oops no boats, Poor kids crying, oh that mean man wont let me go on that boat"
And thinking he should leave a good lasting impression on the kids? kids have a attention span of most politicians.
the fact that you would be in that situation shows poor judgment on your part too, and to think that some mothers don't lie about having kids... who's being naive now?
Its called getting scammed , according to the OP she said she had a couple of kids, yet most of you cant understand a couple doesnt mean 6, even if he asked the age of the kids, I dont think she would of been honest, the OP did say they went out for a drive in the country or something like, and she didnt offer any info about her SIX KIDS. | |
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| Was I a jerk?
Posted: 7/30/2007 2:50:33 PM | OP, are you sure she did not say " a few" kids?
Still, if you say you like kids, I cannot for the life of me understand why you did not question her about their names, ages, etc. before showing up for a day at the lake.
Makes no sense to me. And as you said, she did not talk about them on the other car trip, very odd. Makes me think you both had hidden adgendas. | |
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| Was I a jerk?
Posted: 7/30/2007 3:05:11 PM | Maybe she was looking for 'daddy number 7' 
No you weren't rude.. She is the rude one for not disclosing the fact she had that many children... | |
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| Was I a jerk?
Posted: 7/30/2007 3:23:25 PM |
But that "shit how do i get out of this" when he is first driving up keeps sticking in my head
That was the original intent of my post. I thought it would be interesting to see how many people would see it as my friends did: that I was somehow a crumb-bum because I thought about my own personal peril before that of the children. I wasn't looking for validation (is that the correct word?), rather, I was simply curious about how others might view it.
I was surprised when the mother of the six children started really getting ripped in the thread. I didn't see anyway to stop it, though. I suppose, in a way, by not realizing everyone would come down so hard on the woman, I was again thinking of myself - rather of my desired see what others might be thinking about what I did that day, without considering the possibility that she'd get it pretty hard, too. After reading all the post and thinking about it, I now see it would be difficult for anyone to respond without calling into question the mother's actions.
If I post another one of my odd dates, I'll have to find a way to word it so people cast a critical eye on me, rather than the other players.
I don't want this to sound like I don't appreciate the opinions, because I do - even the ones that are critical. Thanks. | |
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| Was I a jerk?
Posted: 7/30/2007 3:36:02 PM | If you ended up in any accident, minor or major, not only may someone have been hurt, but guess who'd be paying the medical bills? I don't think you were a jerk. Yoyu owe nothing to them. They were the ones springing their surprise on you and you were uncomfortable with that. That's valid.
But I do think you shouldn't let women steam roll over you either. You talked about having a picnic with her, not her kids. She's the one that invited her kids. Why didn't you clear that up on the spot when you saw her forging ahead? Didn't want to upset her and lose a date? Sometimes you have to risk that or find yourself writing threads like these later.
Actually, the whole thing sounds rushed what with meeting up the next day and making plans that day for the next week. What's the rush? I can see why she wanted to rush things, but you? | |
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| Was I a jerk?
Posted: 7/30/2007 3:43:51 PM | | She was the jerk. She was probably expecting you to foot the bill for dinner for her and all the kids, too. | |
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| Was I a jerk?
Posted: 7/30/2007 4:22:19 PM | Opie , come on how does one confuse "a few"with "a couple"of kids?
Still, if you say you like kids, I cannot for the life of me understand why you did not question her about their names, ages, etc. before showing up for a day at the lake. The OP acknowledges there was a lack of communication, he assumed a couple of kids meant two, I would.
He also mentioned they did talk but she changed the subject when it came to her kids, whats a guy supposed to do , beat it out her? I know a few women who if on a date, wont mention anything about their kids, because the date will never meet the kids. | |
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| Was I a jerk?
Posted: 7/30/2007 5:19:44 PM | | It's certainly not selfish to not want to drive the woman's kids to the lake, when SHE decided for you that you were going to take them along. | |
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| Was I a jerk?
Posted: 7/30/2007 5:37:39 PM | palpabletension
I just take in consideration anything is possible in this irrational media dictated world. | |
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| Was I a jerk?
Posted: 8/4/2007 12:54:37 AM | | The soft side of me actually feels sorry for the woman. Yes, I'm sure alot of her circumstances are her own doing, but being a single mom of 6 kids ... and being that desperate to take them to the lake is really kinda sad in my eyes. Not to mention how bad I feel for the kids! | |
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| Was I a jerk?
Posted: 8/4/2007 3:18:19 AM | dont let it get to you,you did the right thing,letting kids down his far better than having their deaths to cope with, it seems to me she just wanted a dad for her kids and is jumping into never land to quickly,behavior like that will never get a guy,think yourself lucky,you could have been baby sitting 6 kids next week,while shes out after another mug,you take care and your mates well see if they want take her and6 kids on if they think you treated her so bad.bet they wold run a mile,but i must say check next time to see what your lettin yourself in for cus next time it could be to late to hange your mind,good luck mate .  else this could be you  | |
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| Was I a jerk?
Posted: 8/4/2007 3:35:19 AM | LOL! Your date was the jerk. You don't owe her anything. Move on with the satisfaction that you may have found your 'breaking point'. You tried and in this case that is more than ample. | |
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| Was I a jerk?
Posted: 8/4/2007 4:28:43 AM | | you poor thing...you were put in a compromising position from the start and she should be thinking of her childrens safety before you even had to..dont lose sleep over this one | |
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| Was I a jerk?
Posted: 8/4/2007 5:19:18 AM | no WAY-this canT be fer real
SOMEone has told Quite the STORY, is having a gay ol time
watching entertaining saga
unfold
just=no way | |
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| Was I a jerk?
Posted: 8/4/2007 6:13:15 AM | | I agree with La Acesa on this one..she is the jerk for not compromising and for NOT telling u how many kids she had... | |
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| Was I a jerk?
Posted: 8/16/2007 3:14:23 PM | Well i don't feel sorry for the mom, she's compromised her children's safety,( not saying anything is wrong with the OP) but to put her children at risk , and expecting the guy to take the kids to the beach when she didn't tell him she had 6 kids ...she tells him she had a couple of kids NOT 6, last time I checked 6 doesn't mean a couple, at least on this planet.
Its loser women like these who gives mothers a bad name., and i cant believe his friends think the OP being a jerk, I say take some of those friends out in the back and shoot them | |
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