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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Born Again Virgins??? Over 45's Men and Women!      Home login  
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 Guesswhoo
Joined: 8/12/2006
Msg: 51
Born Again Virgins??? Over 45's Men and Women!Page 3 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
On the other side of the spectrum, two consenting adults wishing to explore the beauty of the melding of their bodies........is their perogative. Rather than viewing it as something dirty and done with no emotions, a person should view it for the beauty that it can be. (just putting a swing on this topic)
 betterlate
Joined: 12/22/2006
Msg: 52
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Born Again Virgins??? Over 45's Men and Women!
Posted: 8/15/2007 12:00:57 AM
Dont worry.. hang on to your morals... I feel sex for men (ok... some men, well most men) is just a physical act, they do it because it feels good and there is no emotion or affection involved... and for most women it has to be meaningful, with someone they care about, are attracted to, are excited by... etc.

After leaving a very physical relationship it takes about six weeks to not want sex all the time... after six weeks your brain, body and heart find other things to do.. you may start a project, or work harder at work, organize your house... start volunteering.. or something that gives meaning...

To have sex just to have sex is risky, you dont know if that person has diseases, spouse/sig other.. or is violent, or a criminal... nobody is actually safe just having sex these days, there are some real freaks and bad people out there.

If a man dates a woman and doesnt have the maturity to wait until she feels the time is right, all he cares about is getting some, then there is no big loss, he is not worth knowing... I would rather be able to say to the next man I sleep with that I saved myself for him... nobody wants to date a who*e, well they may want to date them.. but not be in a relationship...
JMO

BL
 Nick Thinker
Joined: 2/10/2007
Msg: 53
Born Again Virgins??? Over 45's Men and Women!
Posted: 8/15/2007 12:37:51 AM
Living is risky in general. Driving a car is risky, flying in a plane is, having an op is, being a soldier is risky, crossing the road is risky too, walking in the street is risky too. But with the proper protection the risk i minimised, but no risk is made ZERO. C'est la vie.

"I feel sex for men (ok... some men, well most men) is just a physical act, they do it because it feels good and there is no emotion or affection involved... "

Of course, just a physical act, like pumping iron, jogging, "let's get physical, let me hear yoru body talk, let's get animal" (1981), mountain climbing, boxing, bar fighting, cycling, etc etc. For many women too (esp. cycling for well known reasons). BOBing is a female physical act too, an aerobic exercise! Right!

 cojo5
Joined: 10/18/2006
Msg: 54
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Born Again Virgins??? Over 45's Men and Women!
Posted: 8/15/2007 5:30:00 PM
Oh please give me a break, Its just a little rusty is all....a day in the sadle and youll be fine ok!!!
 NatGoat
Joined: 10/15/2005
Msg: 55
Born Again Virgins??? Over 45's Men and Women!
Posted: 9/20/2007 1:28:14 PM
I got my Certificate from the State a couple years ago . . !!!
Sex...just for the sake of Sex . . can be satisfied at most local Bars . . !
I don't go in for 1- nighters . . unless she's _Really_ local . . !
I'm looking for something Substantial . . that has some form of attachment to it . .
A Partnership, if you will, that makes the Sexual part of it a Bonding of sorts . .
nine-by-two
...an exchange of Genuine Feelings toward each other . . !
Still looking for that elusive Lady that sees things the Same Way . . !!! . .
****
'flower' . . . Let's Talk . . !! . . ?? . . *HUG*
 yankeentxs
Joined: 8/30/2005
Msg: 56
Born Again Virgins??? Over 45's Men and Women!
Posted: 9/20/2007 9:36:07 PM
Wow! I thought I made up the term "Born Again Virgin", I'm so disappointed in me now. sigh
 NatGoat
Joined: 10/15/2005
Msg: 57
Born Again Virgins??? Over 45's Men and Women!
Posted: 9/20/2007 9:42:27 PM
I thought _I_ did, Too . . in '98 . . just after my wife passed . . !!!
That's also when I created my Name . . !!!

. . . .
 wodehousefan2
Joined: 9/12/2007
Msg: 58
Born Again Virgins??? Over 45's Men and Women!
Posted: 9/22/2007 2:41:39 PM
With some guys sex is the only goal. For others it is the first goal of many. Why bother getting to know, be friends with, etc, a woman you are not sexually compatible with? I have all the platonic female pals I need, and now I want a friend with benefits who may grow to become a lot more. It has to start with sex, because if there is no good sex, there is nothing else. Why waste time building yet more platonic friendships when I don't want anymore of those than I already have? Many women want to be friends first, and maybe have sex later. That worked a hundred years ago, but no more. Time is short, and I need what I need soon. I'm looking for sex now, and friendship later. When the sex is great, the friendship, companionship, life together, etc, can follow easily. When the sex is lousy, or there is no sex, there will be nothing else. Being a commodity in short supply-a nice, non-felon, non-beater, intelligent, male, who is willing to marry Ms. Right, and who likes to cuddle and give as well as get-I make the rules. I plan to shop around, and the woman who plays the game to win-by my rules-wins a guy worth having. The women who hoard their sexual favors-as if doling out water in a time of drought-will end up alone, or with some scumbag of a guy who pretended to be nice long enough to con them.
 lizzyO
Joined: 9/5/2007
Msg: 59
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Born Again Virgins??? Over 45's Men and Women!
Posted: 9/23/2007 10:27:13 AM
Wow, reading these posts makes me feel a bit sad. As for me, I don't intend to have sex until I am married. Yup, that's right until I am married. If I never get married, I will never have sex. Did someone just faint? According to scripture both old and new testament, to have sex outside of marriage is to also lock yourself out of God's best for you. Yes, I know, some marriages don't work, people get divorced, there is abuse so many arguments why it is better to go ahead and have sex out of marriage than to wait. My only argument for not having sex outside of marriage is because God says so and to do otherwise is to risk losing my immortal soul and ending up in Hell when I die. Yes I do believe this, really. I am intelligent, capable women with a Master's degree living in the 21st century and I do believe this and know lots of intelligent, beautfful women who believe this too. Before you boo hoo me, consider this, God loves us and wants the best for us. He says "no sex outside of marriage" beause He knows it is not really good for us spiritually (the loss of our souls) emotionally (broken hearts and heardend hearts), mentally (sexual addiction), and physically (all kinds of diseases that can even lead to death like HPV, AIDS, HIV and HEP C to name a few). For you Catholics out there, and I am appalled by how many people claim to be Catholic and don't even know what that means, pick up your catechism and see what it says on the subject, or better yet, get a copy of Christopher West's book on The Theology of the Body and read it. For those of you in the Boston are, St. Clemenr's Shrine on Boyalston street will be doing a weekly series on The Theology of The Body (viewing human sexuality and the sacredness of male/female identity and relations from God's point of view) on Sunday morning at 9:30. The talks being September 30 and go for I think 8 weeks. The Shrine is on Boyalston street, after the Prudentail building, cross over Mass Ave. At any rate check it out. God's love is far better and far more certain than thing a man can provide.
 brown eyes1028
Joined: 7/13/2007
Msg: 60
Born Again Virgins??? Over 45's Men and Women!
Posted: 9/23/2007 11:26:42 AM
Amen to you Lizzyo, I feel the same way I think people have forgotten what the lord's
teaching are. I was told several times " the reason you haven't found someone is because you don't give out" . My thought was "How sad it must be not to value yourself.
 Donnchadh
Joined: 1/7/2007
Msg: 61
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Born Again Virgins??? Over 45's Men and Women!
Posted: 9/23/2007 1:18:31 PM
The last few years of my marriage were loveless, and I haven't met anyone since my divorce in 2005. So I am in serious danger of completely forgetting what sex was all about ;-) and becoming a virgin again.

Oh well.

Donnchadh
 TylerD83
Joined: 11/15/2007
Msg: 62
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Born Again Virgins??? Over 45's Men and Women!
Posted: 12/14/2007 10:35:20 PM
A virgin at 45? I've met them. As it turns out, I was a catalyst for a few. Once they grew to appreciate sex for the mental, physical and emotional benefits it brings, they were to be polite, bedroom sluts. We still get along great.
Where is everyone getting this prudish attitude from?
Use or be used? Thats a terrible way to look at sex.
Maybe I am different, I do tend to the womans needs first..so "she gets hers, before I get mine". And perhaps that is the beginning of this quandry. Most are selfish. I am not.
I've looked at biology relating to sex, and it turns out that it is mandatory among every race, or there is no Race.
Not having sex is un-natural. Yes Girlflower, you may remain celebate the rest of your life till the perfect stranger appears. And I'm sure you will. For me, I'm headed out with your neighbor friend join the Race, and you are welcome to come along.
Have a nice orgasm..
 TylerD83
Joined: 11/15/2007
Msg: 63
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Born Again Virgins??? Over 45's Men and Women!
Posted: 12/14/2007 10:36:35 PM
What he said.. and if we are all in agreement.. lets retire to the bedroom..
 oscarz05
Joined: 8/22/2007
Msg: 64
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Born Again Virgins??? Over 45's Men and Women!
Posted: 12/15/2007 4:37:01 AM
sex is a key piece of life. yes, it wonderful when all the rainbows, birds singing, heavenly choirs, etc are in full effect, but...


...you need to keep your game sharp, and you may find your search for the "great moment" a good deal easier if you aren't completely out of practice.


use it or lose it. thats what its there for you know.
 claypot
Joined: 3/7/2006
Msg: 65
Born Again Virgins??? Over 45's Men and Women!
Posted: 12/15/2007 5:10:37 AM
Just because I'm rip for the pickin, doesn't mean I will fall off the tree in a soft spring breeze, more like a tornado has to come thru any more. Ok, maybe not a tornado, but they have to be worthy enough for me to let go of the branch.

Whippin thur here real quick again, those who spit out about God and religious reasons, I'm sorry that may work for you, BUT, the whole world no longer, nor did they every live by those rules.

We came to be, this is true, we also came to be here to be HAPPY, and yes, that does include SEX, married or not.

This theroy works for some, but the majority, I don't think so. Am I a bad person for thinking this way? Heck no. It's reality, EVERYONE needs or at some time in their life, needed the human touch, why make more into it then really needs to be?

If it feels good, go for it, it's the times that it DOESN'T feel good that we should question our OWN reasons. Knowone else has that right to judge us, UNLESS we give it to them. JMO
 fay98
Joined: 8/8/2007
Msg: 66
Born Again Virgins??? Over 45's Men and Women!
Posted: 12/15/2007 6:50:47 AM
Hey whats wrong with sex alone. No diseases and you don't have to boot him out!
 Wrinkledstockings
Joined: 2/25/2007
Msg: 67
Born Again Virgins??? Over 45's Men and Women!
Posted: 12/15/2007 8:25:13 AM
I would like to claim some moral high ground on this but the fact is, there was a period when my libido went through the roof. So I did indulge in some emotion free sex. It was wonderful and I have no regrets. Now I would like to say that I am holding out for that special someone. But of course these days, it might just be that there isn't much of a spark to ignite...
 Pink Rose Lady
Joined: 10/1/2006
Msg: 68
Born Again Virgins??? Over 45's Men and Women!
Posted: 12/15/2007 9:08:59 AM
Once you take a brand new beautiful car right out of the showroom and take it around the block, it's now a used car. Oh sure, you can wash it and polish it up, maybe even wax it, but it'll never be in its original condition.

This born again stuff is kinda the same thing, don't you think? Vrooooooom!

Pink
 MeereKat
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 69
Born Again Virgins??? Over 45's Men and Women!
Posted: 6/5/2008 5:11:28 AM
Sex...just for the sake of Sex...is for the Young....
*The Bad-boys...The Macho-men...The Flighty girls...The Sluts...*

Those of us in a more Mature state of mind..are looking for something more
substantial...
An actual exchange of Feelings..!!
I'm looking for an LTR for a Reason...!!
...and it has more than _3_ letters...!!!
. . . .
 amo-vida
Joined: 5/29/2008
Msg: 70
Born Again Virgins??? Over 45's Men and Women!
Posted: 6/5/2008 11:30:20 AM
I thank everyone for their generous comments and honesty. A few years ago, when I was back in the dating loop, I was soooooo out of the loop. I'd go on a first date and have the guy sucking my tonsils out and then p1ssed as he11 because "hey, you were giving me all the signals." What???????

I felt like crawling under a rock and deciding to never date again because I was too out of touch with the world (married for so long -- didn't know what happened). Sure, when I was young, sex was not a big deal. I was not a person who waited for a ring but I had steady boyfriends. We were young and stupid. I'm sure that I also had not yet learned how to enjoy sex. We also did not have to worry about the sorts of diseases that kill. (Maybe this is why some older men chase very young women -- they are not yet assertive enough to say that they need more emotional intimacy and not mature enough to know their bodies)

Years of marriage ... enter the single life ... and it seemed like I was supposed to have some sort of switch built into my back: buy me dinner/ drink/ coffee/ a bus ticket and you have one click of the switch. Turn me on and my name's barbie let's go party!

I appreciate hearing that I am not alone in feeling that I need to feel some sort of emotional connection. I need to feel comfortable, safe, attached ... before we attach.
 GingersnapWA
Joined: 4/14/2008
Msg: 71
Born Again Virgins??? Over 45's Men and Women!
Posted: 6/5/2008 11:51:31 AM
"It has to start with sex.."--wodehousefan2
So...how's THAT workin' for ya???

"""Why bother getting to know, be friends with, etc, a woman you are not sexually compatible with? ...It has to start with sex, because if there is no good sex, there is nothing else. Why waste time building yet more platonic friendships when I don't want anymore of those than I already have? Many women want to be friends first, and maybe have sex later. ... When the sex is great, the friendship, companionship, life together, etc, can follow easily"""----Wodehousefan2 wrote.

My response:
Why bother sharing my precious body (& the heart which cannot be separated from it) with a man in whom Love & Trust have Not had time to develop, & whose beliefs, tastes, lifestyle & goals may not be compatible with mine?? It has to start with friendship & compatibility in areas other than sex , oh, and with LOVE first, because if there is No love, friendship or compatible goals, there is nothing else. Why waste my time on casual sexual partners, when I don't want anymore of those then I have already had in the past? Many men want Sex, first and Maybe friends later. When the Love, Trust, Friendship and Compatibility are there First, the sex can follow easily.
 ColumbiaSingle
Joined: 5/20/2008
Msg: 72
Born Again Virgins??? Over 45's Men and Women!
Posted: 6/5/2008 11:56:35 AM
Another reason to legalize prostitution. Then women will not have to deal so much with the guys that don't care one bit about you, your body and your health and only want to get laid.
 amo-vida
Joined: 5/29/2008
Msg: 73
Born Again Virgins??? Over 45's Men and Women!
Posted: 6/5/2008 2:15:06 PM
^^^^ it wouldn't help to legalize prostitution. He's actually ruining it for the professional women. He wants the freebies. And please don't carry on about the money you have wasted on dates and didn't even get any action. If you had any idea how much it costs for women to be in the dating world ...
 Ed Bear
Joined: 5/19/2007
Msg: 74
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Born Again Virgins??? Over 45's Men and Women!
Posted: 6/5/2008 4:37:04 PM
Sad to say, I'd suspect anyone in this forum already has a low opinion of themselves.

They say that whatever you may want to do to a goat, you can find friends into in on the web, but I must confess stumbling upon this topic was more depressing than comforting.

It's been a bad day.
 shootingstargal
Joined: 5/18/2008
Msg: 75
Born Again Virgins??? Over 45's Men and Women!
Posted: 6/5/2008 7:12:55 PM
I think of myself as a "virgin by default" or a "retro-active virgin"
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