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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Born Again Virgins??? Over 45's Men and Women!      Home login  
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 garfieldman
Joined: 8/10/2007
Msg: 126
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Born Again Virgins??? Over 45's Men and Women!Page 6 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
it been so long i forgot how to do it, on my last date i went on, i felt like a highschool boy and i was shaking so hard i forgot to kiss her good night and she thought i did not like her !lol ! i should of called some friends on dating advice cause i relly blew that one ! i wonder how your suppose to date when your 49
 redarcangel
Joined: 1/12/2007
Msg: 127
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Born Again Virgins??? Over 45's Men and Women!
Posted: 8/2/2008 7:53:44 PM
Oh yeah.. I see myself fitting in the category of "born again virgins".. !

As far as my dates go? Most of the men didn't come right out and say they wanted sex with me.. first..second.. third date or whenever.. it was just allllllllll they could talk about.. sex.. and how "well" it went with this one and that one he "used" to date. Everytime I change the subject.. he leads it right back to sex. My reaction is to just nod and do the uh-huh.. yeah.. right.. awww.. in all the right places. My thoughts however.. are.. and(?).. so what(?).. I'm not her/them! I'm not gonna sit here and strip on a first date the way she/they did. THAT.. is just what I seem to be getting as far as dates these days. I let these men know right from the start.. I want a comfortable and loving relationship "before" I can even think on lines of sex with them.. and.. they say they feel the same way.. allllll the way up until we meet. No matter how short or long of a time we spend e-mailing/IMing/phoning. One time dates. I don't get it.. but.. they aren't either.. from me anyway.

*No.. the hymen doesn't grow back.. but.. the vaginal walls become so tight after years of not being stretched and exercised regularly.. the pain and "feeling" is like that of a "virgins". Ergo.. the term does suffice as being "born again virgin". Well.. at least for the ladies anyway.. ! Now.. the men......... !
 bubbly 1955
Joined: 12/6/2007
Msg: 128
Born Again Virgins??? Over 45's Men and Women!
Posted: 8/3/2008 5:33:49 AM
You are lucky you even get a date , i dont lol ,,,, seriously if you are wondering how to date at 49 what bloody chance have i got at 52. ? I cant remember the last time i went on a date, but i do agree with some of the comments made on here. A lot of women and men date younger, i dont mind a few yrs difference , but dont want em my kids ages. Thank heavens for ANN SUMMERS
 Rare Findx
Joined: 7/14/2008
Msg: 129
Born Again Virgins??? Over 45's Men and Women!
Posted: 8/3/2008 8:12:30 AM
I have to be in a relationship with someone and the feelings are there.I will not have sex if I am not with someone.I will not be used.I need love intimacy with someone I am in a relationship with to have sex.I have to have the emotional intimacy.
 dustyknight
Joined: 9/14/2006
Msg: 130
Born Again Virgins??? Over 45's Men and Women!
Posted: 8/3/2008 11:27:45 AM
building a huge bonfire to sacrifice the virgins!

c'mon folks lighten up..
hey i know i'll be single the rest of my days but I'm not proud of it or want to shout it from the rooftops..
so being celebate is a virtue to some..a loss of intimacy and closness and love to others..
can we find a cure?
dusty
 Level_42
Joined: 3/18/2009
Msg: 131
Born Again Virgins??? Over 45's Men and Women!
Posted: 4/28/2009 1:20:39 AM
I'm 42 and I guess I'm still a virgin.....so no need to call it born again virgin
 Katwillow
Joined: 4/23/2009
Msg: 132
Born Again Virgins??? Over 45's Men and Women!
Posted: 4/28/2009 5:48:19 AM
I will NEVER be a virgin again. Having said that I would also like to add -- I think being 'Chaste & Modest' would have much more weight in my book than saying I am a "Born Again Virgin". I can honestly say that I am a woman who will hold to those morals and values. It would certainly be an admiral value in any man's or woman's life as far as I am concerned. Do I ever have those 'hmmm' moments where I wonder if a man would be fulfilling as a sexual partner?? Sure. I would have to call myself a liar if I didn't say otherwise-but I can say if those thoughts did come to mind I wouldn't dwell on them and would probably try to find someway to get those thoughts out of my head. There is SO much more to intimacy & closeness and loving someone. Nope, plan on being a chaste woman until I have the husband, if that means "no sex or lovemaking" (which by the way I see being 2 totally different issues but again SHARED between a husband & wife) then so beit. How would I be able to know or trust that the man I am dating on a regular basis feels the same way (if that happens) or has those same values? Well, I believe the title of "Christian" in their profile SHOULD say a lot. The opportunity to go out with a gentleman a few times will answer that.

Kathleen
 Tarnished_Knight
Joined: 3/5/2009
Msg: 133
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Born Again Virgins??? Over 45's Men and Women!
Posted: 4/28/2009 2:33:33 PM
Folks, this may be TMI, but I would just like to point out that:

One need not be single to be in the "Born Again Virgin" category.

Sometimes, life sucks!

TK
{actually at a loss for words, who'd a thunk it}
 amethyst10616
Joined: 1/20/2008
Msg: 134
Born Again Virgins??? Over 45's Men and Women!
Posted: 4/28/2009 2:54:42 PM
I do think you can only truly be a virgin once, but for me, sex without intimacy is not worth having and I have had both. I did not have sex for over two years after my divorce and I was so in love with that man. When we were finally intimate, I wore him out over that weekend, let me tell you, LOL!

Unless I am dating someone seriously, it is not going to happen. I have shared that with someone that I had not been seeing for very long once and I ended up getting hurt when we did not work out. The thing is, sex can create a sense of false intimacy, a false feeling closeness and I do not want anything fake in my life. Plus, once you do become intimate with someone, it seems to take on a disproportionate about of your time together if you are not careful to maintain some sort of balance.

My friends and I joke about being BAV if one of us goes a long time without a serious relationship in our lives. I think if you are particular, there are going to be dry spells and I would rather be alone than be sexual with someone who I did not care about.
 IdahoHoney
Joined: 12/25/2008
Msg: 135
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Born Again Virgins??? Over 45's Men and Women!
Posted: 4/28/2009 3:24:19 PM
I read your profile???? Passive agressive (because you admit to wanting to cheat), Codependent (because you won't walk away from a cheater), Unfaithful (because cheating is ok is she does it)...WOW!! If that is a catch, I will stay celibate. And not enough confidence to even have a picture..that is the icing on the cake.

I learned a long time ago, "a one night stand is a lose-lose situation", if he is good I don't get it twice, and if he is bad, it was a waste of energy to take my panties off. Best choice is just follow my heart and mind.

If a man takes the time to get to know a woman's heart and mind, and the attraction is there, the sex is off the chart!!!!! I will wait for a man that understands that because at this point in my life I am ready and deserve an OMG!! relationship in the bedroom and out. And so does he!
 ZenBeth
Joined: 2/23/2009
Msg: 136
Born Again Virgins??? Over 45's Men and Women!
Posted: 4/30/2009 10:12:05 PM
Born again virgin? It's called being chaste and celibate. And has been practiced for centuries.

~Beth~
 123carrie
Joined: 7/25/2007
Msg: 137
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Born Again Virgins??? Over 45's Men and Women!
Posted: 5/1/2009 3:09:55 AM
Women CAN become born-again virgins....The hymen CAN actually reattach to the other side of the vaginal wall over time. My OB/GYN explained this to me a few years ago. Since she was also a good friend, we had a great laugh about it. What happens, she explained, is that when the hymen if first ruptured that it is pushed against one or the other side of the vagina. Sometimes, when a person has been inactive for an extended period of time, the tissue reattaches to the other side of the vaginal wall.

She explained it as being similar to a cut where the skin gradually heals over time, although this could take years to occur. It also does not happen to every women who is celebate, but it does happen in some.
 gpb1953
Joined: 10/16/2006
Msg: 138
Born Again Virgins??? Over 45's Men and Women!
Posted: 5/1/2009 4:46:56 AM
Girlflower,

I’m probably breaking some kind of man code with what I am about to say but I’ve been on sort of a journey of rediscovery since my divorce 6 yrs ago. You see I fell in love at a very early age, got married and focused on the role of being the best father & husband that I could for 30 yrs. Then, due to circumstances beyond my control … I suddenly found myself 50 yrs old and single again. I spent almost 2 yrs focusing on me by getting some well needed counseling and addressing some issues like codependency and depression. Then I entered to world of dating … pretty much uncharted territory for me. That was 4 yrs ago. In that time I’ve probably made every mistake a person can make while dating but I like to think I’ve learned a lot with each one.

One very valuable lesson that I learned is that (at least for me) intimacy brings me very little happiness unless it is with someone I have feelings for. Without love, intimacy is pretty much empty, unfulfilling. I know there are probably a lot of guys out there that are saying …”man, what are you talking about?” And who knows … maybe for others it is different but for me … I find if I haven’t invested my heart … there’s no satisfaction in moving on to the intimacy level.

Now having said that, I just said goodbye to a wonderful lady I met on POF. I had gotten to know her over a 9 month period. The problem was … she lived 650 miles away. We both knew long distance relationships seldom work but it seemed so magic for both of us … well, let me just say I knew I had met the one I could share my life with. Unfortunately, despite all my efforts she couldn’t reach the same level of commitment I had and she felt like she may never be able to. So we said goodbye and I am trying to continue on, looking hard for the latest lesson I can take with me.

GF … getting back to your original question, follow your heart and do what is right for you. You seem like a wonderful person who has made good decisions in the past. It sounds like you continue to make them now. For me, it has to be real before it can be intimate.

Gary
 flowerforce
Joined: 9/6/2006
Msg: 139
Born Again Virgins??? Over 45's Men and Women!
Posted: 5/1/2009 12:49:05 PM
I want my lovemaking to be connected with someone I love. So if that is a born again virgin count me in. I have no interest in sex being the only goal. I also think if that is what a person is into that is ok. with me just not with me.
 Ed Bear
Joined: 5/19/2007
Msg: 140
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Born Again Virgins??? Over 45's Men and Women!
Posted: 5/3/2009 3:24:53 AM
All I can reflect is that my profile doesn't say "Christian," and I'd rather be chased than chaste.
ED BEAR
 Kitchener
Joined: 9/23/2008
Msg: 141
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Born Again Virgins??? Over 45's Men and Women!
Posted: 5/3/2009 11:01:16 AM
I'm with You Girlfriend on this very personal issue. This isn't for You Girlfriend it's for those that are reading this;
The trouble that I have with free sex is this; How many deceases are out there once you start sleeping with others.
Not only would you inherit from that last persons sexual transmitted stuff, but also all the others they slept with. All it is, is sex, nothing more and it means nothing at all. Those free for all sexual partners transfer deposits left behind from other persons. These deposits can trigger a whole sloe of issues from one women to the next.
If you don't believe me just write in or ask a doctor about what I'm mentioning.
Why even bother inviting problems into your body.
People have too many issues now that we have to deal with.
Trust me when I tell Ya, I love sex and miss making out with my sweetheart drives me carzy, but once we went our separate ways so did the love making. I hate it, but what can I do. I love myself enough to stay safe and for my next partner. I hope to meet a respectable guy someday that understands why this is so important. I can wait for sex, because it's the love that comes with allowing a man to be a part of something that is priceless and that only the two of us can share.
I'm sure that there are men around that feel as strongly as we do on this very important matter.
Sleeping around is cheep and I'm not cheep. I don't want to just have sex.
I am a born again Virgin and dame proud of it!!!
All the best to You
Thanks for bringing this out to talk about.
 TumbleWeed2k
Joined: 8/25/2008
Msg: 142
Born Again Virgins??? Over 45's Men and Women!
Posted: 5/3/2009 5:40:42 PM
One nighter's and casual sex are simply code words for "I want to catch a disease". Since I don't want to catch anything, I keep to myself. That does not stop me from making mistakes in judgment or wanting sex. It doesn't make me chaste or righteous - just afraid of getting something that may make certain body parts fall off or eventually kill me. Worse than that - something that would keep me from enjoying sex with someone I fall in love with.

On the emotional side, I'd rather wait and feel lonely than to just get used - or worse - be the one doing the using.
 Angelfire045
Joined: 8/16/2008
Msg: 143
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Born Again Virgins??? Over 45's Men and Women!
Posted: 5/3/2009 9:15:54 PM
I wish I had someone I could ravage but casual sex is so over rated. I am waiting for someone who sets my soul on fire but I get the impression that casual sex is so easy today that many guys prefer it to developing true intimacy with a woman which takes effort.
 canyunflyer
Joined: 2/6/2006
Msg: 144
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Born Again Virgins??? Over 45's Men and Women!
Posted: 5/3/2009 9:37:32 PM
My God.... its two years now since I first posted in this thread! I think I am approaching the "born again" catagory! Or... maybe I'm allready there!! Or... Maybe I've allready been there a while!!???? How does one determine this anyway! har har.

I'm afraid the born again virgin status might not be for us "mature" folks. Hmmmm? perhaps we are just becoming 'old codgers and old maids'??????? terrible thought, huh!

messages this short may not be posted..... may not be posted...may not be.... may not.... may... may ...mayday...mayday... mayday!

Messages this short may not be posted. I am still being persecuted for years old transgressions on the political forums. har har!
 younowho
Joined: 5/17/2006
Msg: 145
Born Again Virgins??? Over 45's Men and Women!
Posted: 5/4/2009 3:57:03 PM
<<<<<< yep.. must be born again. It's growen over and over and over..
 ~~BooPerZ~~
Joined: 4/2/2009
Msg: 146
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Born Again Virgins??? Over 45's Men and Women!
Posted: 5/4/2009 4:42:29 PM
lol....I FEEL AS IF i HAVE ENUFF TO MAKE a freakin cherry pie....I am not into gratuitous sex....lol but if this goes on much longer I WILL NEED a feather duster to remove cobwebs......lollllll
 CountryAngel57
Joined: 3/17/2009
Msg: 147
Born Again Virgins??? Over 45's Men and Women!
Posted: 5/4/2009 7:11:59 PM
I guess i fall into that slot, myself. My last roll in the hay, was back 1975, after my youngest child was born. It was Wam Bam Thankyou Mam!!!, my Ex-husband. I have came close a few times after words,but i am not into passing my cookies around, to every Tom ,Dick, or Harry. Iam seeking someone who is going to respect my feelings as i will respect his. I am 57, going on 58, this month on the 27th.So!! yeah!!! i guess you could call me a born again Virgin In a direct sense!!!
 TAPMan13
Joined: 4/5/2009
Msg: 148
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Born Again Virgins??? Over 45's Men and Women!
Posted: 5/4/2009 7:56:53 PM
Yes I have been alone long enough to think I am a born again virgin. I am one of those "Nice Guys" too, and that may be the problem. After looking back over my past, and the few females I met in the present, it seems to me that they all have one thing in common, and that is they want to have sex within the first date or two. That is what got me in trouble in the first place, and I don't want to be stuck raising any more kids by myself. It is true that most males want to just get their rocks off, because men are genetically and socially raised to be that way. Men tend to be more physical in their ways, why women tent to be more emotionally responsive on the norm, but that too is changing on the social realm. Of course I am only speaking of the average norm. This doesn't mean that all men and women are this way. It all depends on their upbringing, beliefs, and how they were treated by others in relationships in the past. We all have baggage of some kind, and how we decide to act in different situations are from this baggage.

For me... I don't want to have sex just to have sex. I am waiting to find that Special Red Rose, so I can make a perminate commitment with and make love on a daily bases. BUT from my past, I know that after the first month or so after getting married, the Love making will dwindle down to once every year or so. LOL So what should I do? take on the signals the women put out to me that they want to have sex, and have a hot passionate night of love making that might turn out to be a one-night stand, or take the chance to get seriously involved with one woman and not have sex for the rest of my life?

I truth, it seems to me that it would be cheaper in the long run to just go pay a hooker for the night, and don't worry about the commitment and dating sceen. Then I wouldn't be a born again virgin, and I might get something I don't want, other then more kids, BUT I will still be lonely. I guess we are dammed in what ever we do. LOL
 tinkerbellcgy
Joined: 9/17/2005
Msg: 149
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Born Again Virgins??? Over 45's Men and Women!
Posted: 5/5/2009 7:26:13 AM
Well, it's not so much the "born again" stuff for me but rather the cobwebs. Yup, cobwebs have set in and I'm experiencing great difficulty in getting rid of them. They seem to be tenacious little buggers! Try as I might, I just haven't found the right recipe to banish them forever.
 Call me Ginny
Joined: 12/28/2008
Msg: 150
Born Again Virgins??? Over 45's Men and Women!
Posted: 5/5/2009 7:47:35 AM
Well, since the OP started this thread a long time ago, I'll respond in a genreal way to the most recent posts.


If a man takes the time to get to know a woman's heart and mind, and the attraction is there, the sex is off the chart!!!!! I will wait for a man that understands that because at this point in my life I am ready and deserve an OMG!! relationship in the bedroom and out. And so does he!


Right On!!
The OMG sex is the most fantastic you will ever experience.

I am not one to hop from bed to bed either. I want more than gratuitous sex, as I'm not "wired" that way. And I think that's a good thing.

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