|
|
|
|
|
| | Why do women dance with each other at clubs?Page 4 of 5 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5) |
Eh, you lose me there. I am a literal and clinical person, so to me "need" denotes survival.
Oh here, let me define my definition of survival. Survival: An inherant dynamic (force) to survive as a species.
The other things are not what I'm talking about. Hell I know how to kill my food and even brain-tan the hides for clothing. Without a woman to propogate continued survival it means nothing. Sexual drive is the most powerful body drive we have and a man's doesn't compare to a womans. Not even close. A woman is the most sexual creature on the planet. You are most definately entitled to your reality concerning this.
Is that why we bond? Actually it's not. Kinda sounds like a psychologist's rendition of ignorance. It's tied into survival. I can't remember it ever being needing to get away from a SO. It's ritualistic. In my circle we grind out 14,000 ft. peaks, hunt elk with longbows, sometimes very dangerous things. Challenges become harder and harder to find.
I wonder......is it the lack of understanding of women concerning men.....or is it the lack of understanding of men concerning women? | |
|
| Why do women dance with each other at clubs?
Posted: 8/3/2007 11:32:13 AM | With the hope that the thread inhabitants won't tell us to get a room shortly, my response:
Oh here, let me define my definition of survival. Survival: An inherant dynamic (force) to survive as a species.
To me survival means live as a person, not as a species. I think the human race has propagated enough, we could stand to cut back a little (or find another planet to ship half of the people to). I feel we're overpopulated.
The other things are not what I'm talking about. Hell I know how to kill my food and even brain-tan the hides for clothing. Without a woman to propogate continued survival it means nothing. Sexual drive is the most powerful body drive we have and a man's doesn't compare to a womans. Not even close. A woman is the most sexual creature on the planet. You are most definately entitled to your reality concerning this.
Survival of yet more children we can't provide for? Yes, I know women can be VERY sexual, and so can men, but if we stop having sex (individually), chances are we'll live. That's my point. Hell I hate to go without sex more than 3 days straight, but it's not something I need to keep living, although it certainly does make it more pleasurable.
Is that why we bond? Actually it's not. Kinda sounds like a psychologist's rendition of ignorance. It's tied into survival. I can't remember it ever being needing to get away from a SO. It's ritualistic. In my circle we grind out 14,000 ft. peaks, hunt elk with longbows, sometimes very dangerous things. Challenges become harder and harder to find.
If it's tied to survival, why is it a male thing only? i guess I should ask in this day and age what type of survival - I mean it's not like we're living in caves anymore. Physical exercise and mental and physical challenge makes sense, but survival? Are you saying men are still honing skills as the proverbial hunters and women can't do the same things to survive? Just curious, I guess I might not totally get your point.
I wonder......is it the lack of understanding of women concerning men.....or is it the lack of understanding of men concerning women?
In our case, looks like both. | |
|
| Why do women dance with each other at clubs?
Posted: 8/3/2007 11:44:36 AM |
To me survival means live as a person, not as a species. I think the human race has propagated enough, we could stand to cut back a little (or find another planet to ship half of the people to). I feel we're overpopulated.
Ok. Got your think. That does NOT invalidate other definitions of survival. We could all survive without sex. Kinda rough though. Especially since it's an inherant fundamental drive. If we did stop propogating, in a little less than 100 years the race would be gone. That would eliminate the population.
In our case, looks like both.
Maybe. Understanding the fundamental biological drives does not mean we understand the individual. But actions based on drives are very very predictable. Just like I know it will be darker towards evening. | |
|
| |
| Why do women dance with each other at clubs?
Posted: 8/3/2007 12:32:12 PM |
The real question is why is it ok for 2 straight girls to dance together but 2 straight guys dancing together is instantaneously "gay" and taboo?
The actual source of this I believe to be in the Torah the end of which states that man on man is bad but says nothing against girl on girl. At the time many men had multiple wives and they were trying to identify themselves as different than the people who they viewed as the usurpers of their land. Besides that if you have multiple women and one man you can end up with more kids than if you have one woman and multiple men.
Hmmm maybe paying attention in Temple really does count for something. | |
|
| Why do women dance with each other at clubs?
Posted: 8/3/2007 1:42:20 PM | TLTR it all
However, I think your just looking at it from the wrong perspective's
You just dont have enough self esteem is all bud. Your too worried about THEM be worried about youself. They arent getting some perverse pleasure out of getting you to watch them. YOUR getting it over watching THEM. Just think of them as your own personal entertainment, entertainment that is beneath you to talk to... As really, THOSE girls... there not the ones. And we both know it.
So ladies... By all means, please, put on those short skirts, hot pants and get out there and shake it with your GF's. I enjoy a good show as much as the next guy....
It just pisses me off when those exact same girls ask stupid questions...
"why do guys like porn" or... my favorite.
"were you looking at her ass" Of course I was you dumb broad, its why I picked up you too you know. >.<
 | |
|
| Why do women dance with each other at clubs?
Posted: 8/3/2007 2:39:42 PM | Oh lawdy, not another round of 'want' versus 'need'.
Anyway. Betty. So lemme get this straight. Women don't go to clubs to meet men. Okay, I get that. But from what I gather, women don't go *anywhere* to meet men. They don't want to be hit on grocery shopping or pumping gas, they don't go to clubs to meet men... and you suggest to the OP to take up ballroom dancing? I can see it now, "I don't go ballroom dancing to meet guys."
Women can have the attitude of not going anywhere specifically to meet men... but that's because men are still expected to do all the approaching. And to be honest, to keep hearing that, it gives me the opinion that because they don't go there to be hit on, they don't want to be hit on. And me, being a respectful person, won't hit on them. So the corrolary, unless I'm reading things wrong, is that women do not want to meet men, and consider us an inconvenience when they're out and about. Am I pretty much spot on, there?
The reason why men go to clubs to find women is because that's where women go - and we can't not have meeting someone at the forefront of our minds because if we sit back and wait for it to 'happen' it simply will not. As I said, we're still expected to take the initiative. No initiative, no results.
I think that women are able to have such a laid-back attitude about finding someone because the responsibility isn't on them to do it. I'm sure that if they were expected to go through what men go through, they'd be singing a much different tune.
Personally, I don't see the appeal of clubs at all. The music's too loud, I don't dance, don't really drink to excess, and am not comfortable in crowds so thick you can barely move. The only reason I *would* go is to meet people, and now those people don't want to be met, except to use you as a source of the evening's entertainment, to be discarded and never seen again? Thanks, but I'll pass - I'm not so hard up for companionship that I can spend an evening talking to someone I'll never see again simply for the "joy" of talking to someone. I have friends who can fill that need.
So I guess that leaves me to use other venues to meet women. Oh, but they don't want to be met there, either (not even on POF - they're "just seeing what's out there" or "just here for the forums"). So I guess I'm screwed. | |
|
| Why do women dance with each other at clubs?
Posted: 8/3/2007 3:29:14 PM | | I"ll admit, I go to the bars and clubs every Friday night and I've actually seen girls dancing with one another. Personally, I make it a point to not go up to them. I just say hello to them and depending on their response, I determine wheather or not they wanna talk to me. Besides, its a girls choice as to wheather or not she wants to talk to a guy in a bar/club. If shes down with meeting someone, thats great. If shes just there with her friends, then the best thing you can do for her and her friends is just leave them alone. I figure, you have your own fun and they can have theirs. Simple as that. Besides, you have a much better chance at finding the woman of your dreams at the supermarket than you do in some skanky bar. Thats just my two cents worth. | |
|
| Why do women dance with each other at clubs?
Posted: 8/3/2007 6:01:48 PM | Ok, i'll bite...I'm in from the gym and got a good hour of reading (offline) in for the day...
Oh lawdy, not another round of 'want' versus 'need'.
Yes, unfortunately - but I responded on that, I didn't initiate it.
Anyway. Betty. So lemme get this straight. Women don't go to clubs to meet men. Okay, I get that. But from what I gather, women don't go *anywhere* to meet men. They don't want to be hit on grocery shopping or pumping gas, they don't go to clubs to meet men... and you suggest to the OP to take up ballroom dancing? I can see it now, "I don't go ballroom dancing to meet guys."
I didn't say women, I said most women...and I didn't say we don't want to be hit on, I said we don't go anywhere specifically to be hit on...it's sort of just a matter of leaving the house for a lot of women. I am pretty sure I didn't suggest ballroom dancing to anyone, earlier the OP mentioned it as something that people did in the past and something about how things used to be and I responded to his reference.
Women can have the attitude of not going anywhere specifically to meet men... but that's because men are still expected to do all the approaching. And to be honest, to keep hearing that, it gives me the opinion that because they don't go there to be hit on, they don't want to be hit on. And me, being a respectful person, won't hit on them. So the corrolary, unless I'm reading things wrong, is that women do not want to meet men, and consider us an inconvenience when they're out and about. Am I pretty much spot on, there?
In my case, yes. I do the hitting on when it comes to my social life - when I go out, I go to meet and talk to friends, make job contacts, work, step in on a DJ, catch up with an old coworker, dance, have a drink or two maybe and just have fun. If I see someone I like in a club or anywhere else, I will break the ice. If I don't approach, I'm not interested. I am not most women, but I have been in clubs for years and have a lot of friends who are typically female. When it comes to other women, I can't speak for all except to say this: most women want to be approached by a small percentage of men they see and have interest in, wherever that may be. Generally the majority of men who approach aren't of interest to us, to the extent that some women do get tired of it sometimes before one they like comes along.
The reason why men go to clubs to find women is because that's where women go - and we can't not have meeting someone at the forefront of our minds because if we sit back and wait for it to 'happen' it simply will not. As I said, we're still expected to take the initiative. No initiative, no results.
Women go a lot of places, but I think what you mean is a club or bar (or other social gathering such as a wedding, feast, outdoor festival, etc). is more of an accepted place to approach a woman. In that respect I agree and understand completely. Most times yes, no initiative, no results.
I think that women are able to have such a laid-back attitude about finding someone because the responsibility isn't on them to do it. I'm sure that if they were expected to go through what men go through, they'd be singing a much different tune.
I am not expected to approach men, but I take it upon myself to do so, because for me it simply skips a lot of unnecessary steps and saves a lot of wasted time. Not to be offensive but most men who approach me aren't going to be my type for that same reason...so it's easier if I not so much chase men down, but subletly hint to those I want to approach me that it's ok to do so. BUT, as I am sort of content with my life as is, the results I get aren't a big deal either way. I can hint, walk away and if they don't follow, that's fine - I don't look at it as rejection, I look at it sincerely as whatever happens happens - and was meant to. If men approached and initiated but didn't care so much or take the result so personally it wouldn't be as much of an issue. Of course more women should throw (clear) cues to the men they do like. Not all take fate into their own hands, but in my case I like to control what choices I can make.
Personally, I don't see the appeal of clubs at all. The music's too loud, I don't dance, don't really drink to excess, and am not comfortable in crowds so thick you can barely move. The only reason I *would* go is to meet people, and now those people don't want to be met, except to use you as a source of the evening's entertainment, to be discarded and never seen again? Thanks, but I'll pass - I'm not so hard up for companionship that I can spend an evening talking to someone I'll never see again simply for the "joy" of talking to someone. I have friends who can fill that need.
I agree that unless you are into crowds, music, bands, and the atmosphere of a club there's no reason to go. No one should go anywhere they're genuinely not into, at any age, makes no sense. People who talk about doing it and then growing out of it either went out of peer pressure to begin with, or went expecting more out of it than they should have. Those who are into that scene should enjoy the scene and then leave it where it is when they go. It's like a vacation to another area, you appreciate it, you experience it and then you leave it and go back to your life. I don't believe that other than honing your skills in a target rich environment anyone should expect to find anything serious in one. You're not supposed to - it's about mingling, not finding a spouse. Some people honestly take the nightlife scene WAY too seriously, and it's not meant for that.
So I guess that leaves me to use other venues to meet women. Oh, but they don't want to be met there, either (not even on POF - they're "just seeing what's out there" or "just here for the forums"). So I guess I'm screwed.
Seriously? If you cannot deal with crowds, and the strangers in the night mentality where whatever happens happens and you don't enjoy just talking to new people for the sake of it, then yes - use other venues to meet women (especially if you are trying to find something long term and serious). And women do want to be met, the key is that they want to be met by men they like. Unfortunately until you approach them, you won't know who that is. Maybe it's you - maybe not. That's the thing about life, you can't be certain of anything.
Msg 84:
I"ll admit, I go to the bars and clubs every Friday night and I've actually seen girls dancing with one another. Personally, I make it a point to not go up to them. I just say hello to them and depending on their response, I determine wheather or not they wanna talk to me. Besides, its a girls choice as to wheather or not she wants to talk to a guy in a bar/club. If shes down with meeting someone, thats great. If shes just there with her friends, then the best thing you can do for her and her friends is just leave them alone. I figure, you have your own fun and they can have theirs. Simple as that. Besides, you have a much better chance at finding the woman of your dreams at the supermarket than you do in some skanky bar. Thats just my two cents worth.
Now there's a guy who's got the right attitude. You stay social and friendly and expect nothing - that way when nothing happens, you're still happy and ok with talking to the next person. If something happens, great - it's a bonus. Simple. | |
|
| |
| Why do women dance with each other at clubs?
Posted: 8/3/2007 11:17:49 PM | | Woman love to dance and can't wait for the guys to ask them. If there is a song on I like, I will get up and dance with a girlfriend, girls, or a guy. I was just at John Fogerty's show at Deer Lake last night. I danced the whold two hours he sang. I certainly wouldn't slow dance with a woman. Gotta have a nice guy for that!!!! | |
|
| Why do women dance with each other at clubs?
Posted: 8/4/2007 1:07:12 AM | | I dance with girls because guys never ask. They just sit on the sidelines and stare. I want to have fun, I want to dance, so I do. If I was approached by a guy that I felt attracted to, I would definitely bring him into the group or dance with him solo. Guys, we do it because we are bored and we want to have fun. | |
|
| Why do women dance with each other at clubs?
Posted: 8/4/2007 6:35:48 AM | | Well when women are sitting there have the night and no one is asking them to dance, yes some do get up and dance with each other. If more guys would take the initiative to ask women to dance, you would probably find fewer women dancing with each other. As for me, when I used to go out on my own to clubs, I would give it a certain amount of time and then just leave. No point in wasting a whole evening just sitting there like a fool. Now, I don't go to any clubs or functions that have dancing without a date. That solves that problem. | |
|
| Why do women dance with each other at clubs?
Posted: 8/4/2007 7:39:17 AM |
Eh, you lose me there. I am a literal and clinical person, so to me "need" denotes survival. Therefore we like men, we sometimes want men, but we don't need them to survive, and to be fair they don't need us either (nor should we want them to). Women don't need vibrators either. We don't need sex. We may like it and want it, but we don't need it. Air, water, food, shelter we need...a job to pay the bills and all that but the rest is luxury.
Your ignoring the most important thing the need for human companionship and touch and im not talking about anything sexual. While relationships are stressful humans are designed with the need to bond with others. For example, scientists are now finding out that things like holding a persons hand lowers stress levels.
They have even found that women who have anorexia were slowly cured by getting massages my a licensed practioner twice a week. Hugging, holding, affection etc lowers human stressors and helps people live longer and helps people overcome anxiety.
Some mammals if their children are born with less desirable traits the mother will care for them longer. This is with the intent of helping them become less prone to stress and live longer so they have more chances of finding a mate.
Why do a lot of older people die a few months after a significant other dies? I agree people need independance but we can't ignore that people need one another to live longer and healthier.
I wouldn't be surprised if human touch and affection helps people to live longer, age more slowly, and probably become less prone to cognitive decline and heart disease. | |
|
| Why do women dance with each other at clubs?
Posted: 8/4/2007 7:43:11 AM | First yes.
Secondly because most women are shallow, materialistic ****es.
Thirdly yes. Women love to piss off men in that regard. But then again dont they love to piss off men any chance they get?
And lastly, clubs are for twats. really, when it comes down to it look at who goes there - mostly rich kids or the wanna-bes all thinking they're high class. LMAO. | |
|
| Why do women dance with each other at clubs?
Posted: 8/4/2007 7:52:28 AM | Now there's a guy who's got the right attitude. You stay social and friendly and expect nothing - that way when nothing happens, you're still happy and ok with talking to the next person. If something happens, great - it's a bonus. Simple.
It's a lot easier for a person to hold that attitude when they have good healthy social ties and don't have problems with body image and such. Imagine how one would feel if they felt like they couldn't measure up to anyones standard. Led a life of not having any interaction with the opposite sex, and has fears of getting older and not getting to live life the way they wan't. Especially when you see the rest of the people being acceptable enough and you come to feel like no matter what you do your **** still stinks. Don't think that peopls abilitys to cope with rejection can't degrade over time.
I don't bother approaching women because it's too much stress for me. Far too much now. Theres just too many memories of not being good enough in the eyes of other people because of the way I walk, the way I look how much I used to weigh. Maybe other people can brush that off but I haven't been able to because I've only known that feeling all my life. Of not being adequate enough no matter what. It's like you can shower for an hour put underarm deordorant and everything and five seconds later you smell bad again. | |
|
| Why do women dance with each other at clubs?
Posted: 8/4/2007 8:01:42 AM | and some people commit suicide over continuous rejection. sometimes. and to (im guessing) the most of extreme cases where the person wasnt all there to begin with.
anyway, a couple of guys i work with are extremely bitter towards women. so bitter i dont think any of them would go out of their way for them.
im seeing their take on this because of constant rejection. so i just sink back down and become an ***hole. and i love it when women use their slang "move on," thinking its just that simple. for men its hard to find a partner, a friend or even a female acquintance. when, yes its true, theres alot of guys just looking for a female FRIEND. | |
|
| Why do women dance with each other at clubs?
Posted: 8/4/2007 8:09:04 AM | I tell my parents that when Im 38 i'm paying a woman to be the surrogate mother of my future children. That, if they can grow them in test tubes even better. Heck i've just considered adopting children in order to have a sense of purpose in life. I've found that lonelyness and not having people to care about takes away the meaning from a lot of things eventually.
It's like I could accomplish goal a but what good is goal a if nobody cares anyways. I could go for goal but if no one care about goal b it kind of kills the desire to do it anymore.
Yes I know people have to do things for themselves but when it feels like no one values anything you do it kind of kills the joy in things eventually over a very long time. | |
|
| Why do women dance with each other at clubs?
Posted: 8/4/2007 8:12:02 AM | hire yourself out and become a ruthless assassin???
there might be the chance of jail - but screw it. atleast it gives a sense of purpose. and not too bad of a payday. and on your second payday just imagine all the women you could have. remember, women are materialistic; throw them a $100 bill and you're set for the night. | |
|
| Why do women dance with each other at clubs?
Posted: 8/4/2007 9:33:08 AM |
Your ignoring the most important thing the need for human companionship and touch and im not talking about anything sexual. While relationships are stressful humans are designed with the need to bond with others. For example, scientists are now finding out that things like holding a persons hand lowers stress levels.
We have friends and family for the human support system and companionship.
They have even found that women who have anorexia were slowly cured by getting massages my a licensed practioner twice a week. Hugging, holding, affection etc lowers human stressors and helps people live longer and helps people overcome anxiety.
Then hug your friends and family and talk with them often. Oh, and book a massage or two.
Some mammals if their children are born with less desirable traits the mother will care for them longer. This is with the intent of helping them become less prone to stress and live longer so they have more chances of finding a mate.
Again, family.
Why do a lot of older people die a few months after a significant other dies? I agree people need independance but we can't ignore that people need one another to live longer and healthier.
Because being with someone 20, 30, 40 years develops a need, an attachment and a familiarity that you become accustomed to OVER TIME. Before that person was there, you didn't need them - you developed a need over the years.
I wouldn't be surprised if human touch and affection helps people to live longer, age more slowly, and probably become less prone to cognitive decline and heart disease.
I'm sure it does...but most people don't have a problem finding that. If you are part of a social circle of friends, family, aquaintances, etc - this isn't an issue. In no way is your life and stress level dependent on having a MATE in particular, it's dependent on being around OTHERS, generally. None of what you said above proves that we need to have an SO in our lives.
It's a lot easier for a person to hold that attitude when they have good healthy social ties and don't have problems with body image and such. Imagine how one would feel if they felt like they couldn't measure up to anyones standard. Led a life of not having any interaction with the opposite sex, and has fears of getting older and not getting to live life the way they wan't. Especially when you see the rest of the people being acceptable enough and you come to feel like no matter what you do your **** still stinks. Don't think that peopls abilitys to cope with rejection can't degrade over time.
You think people that are social butterflys and have a healthy view of themselves were born that way? Attitude comes from within and shouldn't be affected negatively by outside influences, other than to improve yourself based on mistakes. Therefore, if people make you feel like crap, it's because you let them. So don't. And if you can't change your attitude about yourself, at least fake it so others don't notice. And again, I think you should talk to someone professionally if things are this bad....it has to be based on self talk and you sabotaging yourself by putting out a "doesn't matter anyway" vibe socially, which shows in your posts. Basically if you show people you don't matter, they'll believe it and treat you accordingly. Sounds too simple to be true, but it really is that easy. | |
|
| Why do women dance with each other at clubs?
Posted: 8/4/2007 11:08:29 AM | | Ok women dancing with each other is completely different then watching them wind up on each other and grope each other. Though I have found that to be a good way to meet them I love dancing with 2 women at the same time one at the front of me one at the back. I ask women to dance all the time I love to dance depends on the song really for the kind of dancing one does. | |
|
| Why do women dance with each other at clubs?
Posted: 8/4/2007 11:13:17 AM | | They do it for attention. You're reading into this too much. Who cares why they do it - if you like it then enjoy it and if you don't then ignore it. | |
|
| |
| Why do women dance with each other at clubs?
Posted: 8/8/2007 5:37:51 PM | We have friends and family for the human support system and companionship.
Okay while your right family is not always the best human support system. Sometimes freinds say stupid insulting things at times or don't respect or understand other individuals that well. I only know one or 3 people I can actually say are freinds in such a way that I see them as supportive. Yet at the same time my hours are the opposite of theirs, either that or they live far away etc.
As for family, family tends to argue alot. When your down about something family tends to get pissed off or annoyed with you instead of being understanding and supportive. I was going to art school two years ago while working and during that time my mom was arguing a lot with my father. It was not any fun, it made me sick as well and made it hard for me to focus on my work. It didn't bother my brother as much but it killed me on the inside to see my parents like that. Sometimes family is just not a good support system at all. Fathers are usually not any good at understanding you or your problems, moms get too agitated, brothers just yell or argue with you for no good reason.
I know couples fight but at least a couples are usually better at supporting one another. I know a lot of people at work that are supposedly freinds yet they will say the most stupid and insulting things. Or family members will just criticize you for the stupidest of reasons. Guess a relationship isn't that different. Just that I stopped beleiving in freinds a long time ago. Not that there aren't some good ones. You learn that it's just you against the rest of the world whether you like it or not. At least finding someone would be about meeting them every now and then, going out to a movie with someone that enjoys being around you. Plus if it works you can always start a family with that person. There might be fighting even then and problems but the way i've come to see it other than having a family eventually I don't wan't much to do with other people that much.
The only person I see worth putting any time and energy into doing things with and who helps give my life some purpose is my youngest brother. I can get along with him well with no problems but now he's getting older and developing his own sense of self and dosen't really need me around that much. He's also talking back a lot more and going through the whole adolescent phase right now. It's kind of made me realize I have to move on to doing other things with my personal time than being a father figure to him because my dads too busy focusing on things like work to really spend any time with him.
Im not saying im in a mad rush to start a family but meeting women, dating, and eventually finding the right one would feel progressive at least. I would rather put my energy into spending time with a nice woman that respects me and likes being around me than people who aren't always truthfully your freinds. Im not saying I don't have true freinds, just that I value putting my time and energy into the more genuine people that I can get along with more than anyone else. Some people I know don't really make me feel that happy or comfortable. The ones that do are usually too busy right now and hard to find to do things with.
Or sometimes you just know a lot of people that you have nothing in common with. I work with a lot of people that I get along fine with and I do consider them to be freinds but I don't wan't to be around them at times because they might have habits that I don't personally enjoy much. Such as smoking etc. Not that Im against people that smoke but I don't like feeling sick the next day. | |
|
| |
|
|
|
Page
4
of
5 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
|
|
Home
login 
