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| Is it ok to hate muslims when it comes to dating?
Posted: 8/1/2007 8:46:56 AM | Hi OP,
The last guy I was involved with was muslim....(born and raised in Morraco)...he still very much believed in god but was non practicant....I had a christian upbringing (catholic) but have been an atheist for as long as I can remember....trust me we had some awsome discussions....haha...but we also learned a lot from each other....which also helped dispelled a lot of stereotyping and pre-conceived ideas we might've had....actually my atheism was a much bigger issue than our difference of religious background as I dislike all religions equally....haha!!!
While I was with him I was *privileged* to experience hatred and prejudice first hand...people I work (mostly all white) with would often joke with me about my *terrorist* boyfriend....would laughingly inquire when I'd start wearing a hijab...and remind me that I better mind my clitoris as he might want to *chop it off* while I slept...etc......all said in good *fun* mind you....but it got old very quick.
On the other hand, I live in a building mostly populated by recently arrived Muslim families....there are only a handful of *whites* like me living here ......so in here I am the *minority*.... needless to say that racism and bigotry is alive and well on ALL sides....it is indeed disheartening to see so much ignorance ....and my grand-daughter(who's bi-racial) and I have often felt like outcasts in our own building.... 
It's NEVER okay to hate or fear someone based on outdated and biased opinions one might have towards a certain race or religion or culture....but it continues to happen everyday.....having read the Koran I would often try to clarify some crazy misconception my co workers had regarding the islamic faith....I would try to point out the similarities that existed between the islamic and the christian faith....but I might as well been talking to myself most of the time....I really don't know what or where the answer lies....at times it almost feels like it's a hopeless situation.
OP, while some people may very well discriminate against you for being muslim, there are others who won't....so all you can do is to continue being proud of who you are and you will eventually find the right person for you......oh and and the reasons my boyfriend and I are no longer together had nothing to do with the difference in our religious background or culture....not even close....haha!
Good luck to you OP....
Love and peace...
Old... | |
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| Is it ok to hate Muslims when it comes to dating?
Posted: 8/1/2007 9:00:53 AM | The bottom line truth is that 9/11 stirred up a lot of fear and hate towards all Arabs, Persian and Muslims. if you have olive skin and look like you are from the middle east you are going to be subject to prejudice. I worked with a Woman who had to leave Iran because she was Jewish. Her family could trace it's roots back in Iran for 2000 years. Her family had bricks thrown through windows right after 9/11 why because they looked like they were Arabs yet she and her family were Jewish!
The Irony I see here is that for thousands of years Jews and Muslims lived in harmony. While Christians in Europe persecuted Jews Muslims embarrassed their Hebrew cousins. There once was large thriving Jewish communities in Damascus, Tehran, Baghdad and other major middle east cities.
In this persent day and age you are going to find a lot of prejudice even if you are not a practising Muslim. I do have one question to ask you. In light of how Muslim , Jewish relationships have so dramatically changed over the last few years. There is now a great deal of arab perdudice againest Jews even by moderate Arabs. How would you feel if say you found out your sister was dating a non Practising Jewish man? How would members of your family act? How would her friends and your friends act? That might give you some insight into why you are being treated. It isn't right but a sad part of human nature. | |
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| Is it ok to hate muslims when it comes to dating?
Posted: 8/1/2007 9:01:59 AM | I think you have to take a step back and realize something called "human nature". Not all muslims are treated the same first and foremost. They have muslims of white decent, and of african decent, and of hispanic decent.
The only discrimination that i see, is based on people being careful, and cautious, due to muslims from (THE MIDDLE EAST).
I mean come on people, if you know that a particular neighborhood is infested with drugs, and gang activity, are you going to intentionally go into that neighborhood?
Does it necessarily mean that you are being racist against, those people? Or is it just human nature to learn from others people mistakes?
It's not about muslims as a whole, i'am scared of MIDDLE EASTERN MUSLIMS | |
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| Is it ok to hate muslims when it comes to dating?
Posted: 8/1/2007 9:03:13 AM | Hate, in any way, shape or form, is NEVER an acceptable thing. It is NOT okay to hate someone just because he or she is a Muslim. I've never dated one, but I have gone out with Buddhists, Jews, etc. in my time. And religion has never been a problem. If anyone has a problem with you, then forget about them. It burns me up to see that garbage like this has to go on.
For me personally, when it comes to differences in religion--I think we all worship the same higher power. Just because your name for that higher power might be different from mine, doesn't mean it's less relevant. Don't ever be ashamed of you who are. Don't lie about it. Good luck! | |
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| Is it ok to hate muslims when it comes to dating?
Posted: 8/1/2007 3:12:04 PM | | Thanks all you guys for listening and sharing. I know and understand the perception people have of muslims in general, and I dont blame them for it. I guess I am just at the wrong place at the wrong time. And I know I will not be able to do much to change the situation, but I feel better talking about it to you guys. Thanks again everyone. | |
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| Is it ok to hate muslims when it comes to dating?
Posted: 8/2/2007 4:56:13 PM |
Th but I have gone out with Buddhists, Jews, etc Have you ever seen or heard of a jew blowing him/her self up for something stupid?????
To the OP:
First of all, I'm so really sorry to hear about the blatant discrimination you have experienced so far, but at the same time, I'm happy to see that you know why people have a bad impression of muslims. | |
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| Is it ok to hate muslims when it comes to dating?
Posted: 8/2/2007 7:09:11 PM |
Have you ever seen or heard of a jew blowing him/her self up for something stupid????? Unbelievable...
So all Muslim's should be judged by the actions of a few?? By that logic then every catholic should be seen as a pedophile and all christians as power hungry murderers....
Why not judge the person standing before you as opposed to what you have been told about his/her religion, race, sexual orientation.... ????? Apparently a novel idea...  | |
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| Is it ok to hate muslims when it comes to dating?
Posted: 8/2/2007 8:09:07 PM | Hi OP,
I forgot to mention in my earlier post that my ex boyfriend also felt like you do OP.....and he still does.....you see, he came to Canada in '89 and right up until the events of 9/ll he said life here was pretty good....but all that changed in one day....all of a sudden he was the enemy....he told me that his own elderly mother who'd never had a problem being accepted in her community until then, was now scared to go outside as she wears a head covering (her's is not a hijab) and could easily be identified as a muslim.....and it is comments like the one below that continues to spread the hatred and the fear......
Have you ever seen or heard of a jew blowing him/her self up for something stupid?????
Anyways....not much to say after that, except to again wish you luck in finding the one for you...just remember we are all different and we don't all think the same...okay?
Love and peace to all...
Oldsoul | |
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| Is it ok to hate muslims when it comes to dating?
Posted: 8/2/2007 8:12:15 PM |
Why not judge the person standing before you as opposed to what you have been told about his/her religion, race, sexual orientation.... ????? Apparently a novel idea...
As good as your idea sounds I am guilty by association, and in today's pace especially when there are many guys lining up for a girl's attention, I can see why a girl would make a quick decision about a guy when there is a chance that he might turn out to be some religious nut. And also there is fear of judgment from girl's family and friends, so I guess its just not worth the trouble.
Should not judge a book by its cover, but that's what the covers are for aren't they? And my cover says "Put the book down before it explodes!" LOL | |
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| Is it ok to hate muslims when it comes to dating?
Posted: 8/2/2007 8:25:52 PM | We all make Judgements and generalizations about cultures all the time. Sometimes aspects of those judgements may be true, but they are most likely cultural distortions, media generated or otherwise, or the fearful lack of a desire to understand another.
Judgements are ok, we use them all the time. The problem lies in attachment to those judgements. In the present moment, we have to let go of that which limits our experience and open ourselves to the divine presence and essence made manifest in the form of the human in front of us.
Y | |
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| Is it ok to hate muslims when it comes to dating?
Posted: 8/2/2007 8:59:21 PM |
I think you have to take a step back and realize something called "human nature". Not all muslims are treated the same first and foremost. They have muslims of white decent, and of african decent, and of hispanic decent.
The only discrimination that i see, is based on people being careful, and cautious, due to muslims from (THE MIDDLE EAST).
I mean come on people, if you know that a particular neighborhood is infested with drugs, and gang activity, are you going to intentionally go into that neighborhood?
Does it necessarily mean that you are being racist against, those people? Or is it just human nature to learn from others people mistakes?
It's not about muslims as a whole, i'am scared of MIDDLE EASTERN MUSLIMS
Lets replace few words and see if it sounds ok to you.
"Its not about westerners as a whole, I am scared of BLACK WESTERNERS."
They both sound completely wrong to me yet no one pointed out the absurdity of your comment. | |
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| Is it ok to hate muslims when it comes to dating?
Posted: 8/3/2007 6:23:53 AM | Have you ever seen or heard of a jew blowing him/her self up for something stupid?????
No, but I have heard of so-called Christians who blow up abortion clinics and shoot doctors under the guise that they are protecting life. Kind of funny, if you ask me.
There can be extremists in almost any religion, but that doesn't mean the actions of a few speak for the whole.
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| Is it ok to hate muslims when it comes to dating?
Posted: 8/3/2007 12:46:30 PM |
Should not judge a book by its cover, but that's what the covers are for aren't they? And my cover says "Put the book down before it explodes!" If someone is so ignorant that they cannot be bothered to flip through the book before they formulate an opinion, then they are simply NOT worth your time!
There are people out there who do not see things that way, trust me.. if I were you I would put it right out there.. maybe even in my profile so that I know the ones who do approach me or are interested in me aren't ignorant uneducated idiots.. it could turn out to be a great weeding tool for you.... JMO | |
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| Is it ok to hate muslims when it comes to dating?
Posted: 8/3/2007 12:57:10 PM | Should not judge a book by its cover, but that's what the covers are for aren't they? And my cover says "Put the book down before it explodes!" LOL
Aww, man!! Judging by your thoughts on the subject, I'd say you are handling prejudice very well! Humor and intellect are highly prized by women worth your while...
Don't listen to the nonsense spouted by ignorant people... Just keep doing what you're doing and you will find a good one... I'm almost certain of it...
I live just outside of Little India and until I smile at them, I see alot of mistrust towards me... But like I said as soon as I smile at them, I see a difference in how I am percieved... It doesn't matter their faith, because alot of people here will call East Indian Buddists terrorists just because of the colour of their skin... I am looked at as someone who should not be trusted until I smile(same reason)... Strange huh?
There are people out there who do not see things that way, trust me.. if I were you I would put it right out there.. maybe even in my profile so that I know the ones who do approach me or are interested in me aren't ignorant uneducated idiots.. it could turn out to be a great weeding tool for you.... JMO
I think you should listen to Sassy... She is very wise! | |
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| Is it ok to hate muslims when it comes to dating?
Posted: 8/3/2007 7:03:08 PM | Discrimination based on race or religion is illegal at work. But when it comes to dating, I can still discriminate - thank God! (God is a metaphor here, for I am not religious).
I would not date a PRACTICING Muslim. But then, I would not date a PRACTICING fundamentalist Christian, or an orthodox Jew. Which is of no importance, of course - if they are consistent in their believes, they would not date me, either.
But I would be open to date a NON-PRACTICING Muslim (or Jew or fundamentalist Christian). By this, I mean somebody who was born into this religion, but rejected it. Actually, I would even be more intellectually attracted to him - I would know from the start that he thinks by himself and refuses to accept blindly what his parents or community tell him.
As to the last part of your question - what to do? - honestly, I don't know the answer. But you are correct in dismissing the idea of lying. | |
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| Is it ok to hate muslims when it comes to dating?
Posted: 8/3/2007 8:36:07 PM | OP, I also agree with Sassy's suggestion to put it all out there in your profile and let it eliminate the morons for you. People who judge you without knowing you are people you are better off without, IMO, and unfortunately most of them don't have the intelligence or comprehension to be able to see the error of their ways. To me, it would be less frustrating to try to herd cats than to try to get the narrow-minded to opon up a little.
You're an intelligent, articulate, handsome man. If someone can't get past your ethnic/religious heritage, it's her loss. There are lots of quality women who would love to get to know someone like you. I know I would--if you were just older.  | |
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| Is it ok to hate muslims when it comes to dating?
Posted: 8/3/2007 10:38:46 PM |
I have experienced that almost all girls that I meet here suddenly end communication once they find out my name
You need to hold accountable those Muslim's who's behaviour has given many people good cause to fear those with names that sound "middle-eastern". In most cases, however, it's not accurate to characterize the reaction as "fear". It's just good sense. Too many Muslims have earned their co-religionists a reputation for bigotry, close-mindedness, ethnocentrism and extreme misogyny. None of those vices may apply to you (no doubt they don't) but who can blame those who do not know you for their concern and reluctance to take a chance?
The world doesn't owe you any favours my friend. The world is not meant to be a "fair" place. I'm not a rapist but it is perfectly reasonable for a woman who runs across me in a dark alley to fear me simply as a "man". That's life. Not all men are rapists but all rapists are men. Not all Muslims are woman-haters but too many of them are.
So stop blaming people for being reasonable. Start holding accountable those who have ruined your good name! | |
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| Is it ok to hate muslims when it comes to dating?
Posted: 8/4/2007 12:26:53 AM |
No, but I have heard of so-called Christians who blow up abortion clinics....
--------
Really?
How many such Christians have you 'heard of'?
Not all used bombs and not all succeeded mind you, but they tried their best.
Army of God.
David Wayne Hull.
Paul Hill
Eric Robert Rudolph | |
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| Is it ok to hate muslims when it comes to dating?
Posted: 8/4/2007 3:45:08 PM | | I'm Muslim too though not practising however consider Islam to be an important part of my identity.I've dated many woman and my religious belief or name have never been a problem.Perhaps its your defensive attitude that woman pick up on and consider it to be a lack of confidence!.I've no problem with non-Muslims and expect to be treated in the same manner in return! | |
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| Is it ok to hate muslims when it comes to dating?
Posted: 8/5/2007 4:30:16 AM |
I've dated many woman and my religious belief or name have never been a problem.Perhaps its your defensive attitude that woman pick up on and consider it to be a lack of confidence!.I've no problem with non-Muslims and expect to be treated in the same manner in return!
I think it just might be the area he lives in. Not all communities are the same. Like I said before, over here I don't think he'd have a problem at all. | |
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Ender
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Joined: 2/1/2004
Msg: 49 | |
| Is it ok to hate muslims when it comes to dating?
Posted: 8/5/2007 4:38:20 AM | I think that the stigma attached to muslim men comes from the backward and barbaric manner that women are treated in conservative muslim countries.
Hell, I live in THE most liberal part of the US, and my mother and father have said they they will NEVER condone my sister having a relationship with a devout muslim man. This is pointless due to the fact that my sister is the type of woman that would NEVER get involved in a relationship with any man that followed a backward religion like Islam or Christianity.
Regardless, you need to understand that the religious laws in islamic countries are in fact gross mistreatment of women, and there is going to be some SERIOUS stigma attached to keeping a muslim name in the western countries. Whether or not you follow those religious rules isn't really as important as the manner in which people percieve you.....at least as far as your day to day interactions go. | |
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Ender
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Joined: 2/1/2004
Msg: 50 | |
| Is it ok to hate muslims when it comes to dating?
Posted: 8/5/2007 4:41:07 AM |
Hating is NEVER healthy !
What a naive and ever so politically correct statement. Its nice to see that the PC propaganda engine has brainwashed you.
In some instances hate is COMPLTELY healthy.
Then again, I guess since you say "Hating is NEVER healthy" you will be more than happy to tolerate people that burn crosses, wear swastika's, shoot members of their own race, and rob others. Afterall, the protestation of improper conduct carries a hatred of violating societal taboo's/laws at its very core.
God you people are silly when you make blanket statements. | |
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