| Is it ok to hate muslims when it comes to dating?
Posted: 8/19/2007 5:25:30 PM | I am afraid the the media here has a tendency to provoke an anti Muslim sentiment.
Apparently, the women you are running into come from the mainstream uneducated
populace who buy into this attitude. I was raised Christian, but took the time to read and understand most of the major faiths of the world. I have also dated and had friends of many faiths including Muslim, Ba`hai, Hindu, Seihkism, etc. All were very fine people and none had the kind of extremist views that the media tries to represent as the norm. There are also militant aggressive Christians in the world. I think it would be best to try to meet and date people that are tolerant, educated, and worldly about these matters. Anyone else is below your level of understanding and humanity anyways, and why would you want to be with them. Great people are out there, just keep looking. | |
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| Is it ok to hate muslims when it comes to dating?
Posted: 8/19/2007 6:07:18 PM | ^^^
I think it would be best to try to meet and date people that are tolerant, educated, and worldly about these matters. Anyone else is below your level of understanding and humanity anyways, and why would you want to be with them. Great people are out there, just keep looking.
Perfectly said......and having just read most of your posts, what a truly nice person you seem to be!
Love and peace...
Old... | |
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| Is it ok to hate muslims when it comes to dating?
Posted: 8/19/2007 8:53:07 PM | Pardon me if I take your Subject literally. It's my belief that it is never possible to equate "hate" with "God". If we hate then we are absent of God's influence. Therefore, we should never hate anyone.
Having said that, we should understand that different peoples have different cultures. Different religions have very different requirements and notions of life. When it comes to dating, and I presume that in dating you mean to eventually move along to a more permanent "marriage". Then it's important to understand that any marriage is difficult even under the most perfect of circumstances.
So do you pick your battles when it comes to dating a potential marriage partner? It's easier for two Christians to be successful in a marriage than it is for a Christian and a Muslim to be successful. Probably not as difficult as a Muslim and a Jewish person, but difficult just the same. It's no different than someone marrying someone outside their ethnic, socioeconomic or educational spectrum.
Pick your battles, it does not mean any mixture of these cannot make a successful marriage. But we can choose how difficult we want it to be right out of the gate! Well, That's what I think anyhow..... for what it's worth.  | |
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| Is it ok to hate muslims when it comes to dating?
Posted: 8/19/2007 11:35:27 PM | My ex girlfriend dates a Muslim who used to live in Montreal. He is a great guy, but doesn't even own a Quoran, so I dont think he is very serious.
Sounds like the people in Montreal are more racist than they are out west from what he says.
People tend to generalize based on what they know about a culture. If you don't actually know any Muslims all you have to go on are negative images from the more extreme elements.
Its going to be hard for you, but let people know you don't approve of the extreme things. Get to know as many people as possible, and change their perceptions. | |
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| Is it ok to hate muslims when it comes to dating?
Posted: 9/1/2007 1:52:03 PM | | Im a christian, but im here to defend atheist. You have never heard of atheist starting any war's have you all? I bet atheist think of us as cavemen and women. Looking at the way the world is now. I can see why. | |
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| Is it ok to hate muslims when it comes to dating?
Posted: 9/1/2007 6:12:26 PM | As the OP said, ethical and political values are far more important than religious beliefs when it comes to choosing a man to marry. I would much prefer to be with someone who is also politically progressive and shares those values who is of a different faith than someone who is of the same faith but is a right-wing extremist. I am only moderately religious and respect others' religious beliefs, and will gladly date a great guy who is of a different religion and is moderately religious or nonreligious who shares my core values.
I checked nonreligious because I believe in a combination of two religions (Episcopal and Catholic). I have some Catholic beliefs and I have some Episcopal beliefs so I am not a diehard when it comes to one religion over the other. | |
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| Is it ok to hate muslims when it comes to dating?
Posted: 9/2/2007 2:02:35 AM | Certain practices of Muslims can clash with what I enjoy in my Christian life. I'm not going to knock someone for having faith and I can pretty much take a person as a friend for who they are and not what they believe in, but for dating and forming a coupledom with someone, I can say it can be hard because of the practices I have grown up with. Certain things I wont change for anyone.
It's hard. Even if you are not practicing. I can empathize with you.
If someone down and out bashes you personally becuase of some pop culture hate towards Muslims, Please tell them to go whistle up a drain pipe and move on knowing full well better you deserve to be treated better and enjoy the company of those that see the bigger picture.
Good Luck!  | |
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| Is it ok to hate muslims when it comes to dating?
Posted: 9/27/2007 1:13:14 PM | | I personally would never date a muslim, nor have I ever had. I totally agree with TINA, you lovely woman. I don't want them to practice those pathetic "muhammedist" beliefs on me. | |
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| Is it ok to hate muslims when it comes to dating?
Posted: 9/27/2007 10:56:19 PM |
I personally would never date a muslim, nor have I ever had. I totally agree with TINA, you lovely woman. I don't want them to practice those pathetic "muhammedist" beliefs on me.
And you are entitled to your opinion. You are obviously an expert in how muslims treat women romantically, having never dated one.
Radical Fundamentalist Muslims aren't the same as normal, non-militant muslims. I'd encourage everyone to have an open, honest, and civil discussion with a sheik or imam, or even just a normal muslim (preferably a woman... they aren't all spineless wimps. Every muslim woman I have met in person is every bit as opinionated and strong-willed as anybody else, and amazingly enough, most are rather outspoken about equality)
The best explanation I've ever heard for the head-scarf and covering the face is this:
Feminine beauty makes men stupid. Keeping it hidden makes it sacred, only the woman and her husband are privy to her beauty. And thus, it is more meaningful when revealed.
It is never OK to hate all of a group of people based on the actions of a few. Or in general, really. Don't hate the People, hate the Person.
Good day. | |
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Tasu
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Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 86 | |
| Is it ok to hate muslims when it comes to dating?
Posted: 9/28/2007 2:46:47 PM |
Don't hate the People, hate the Person
even better not to hate at all *grin* it's never ok to hate anyone. and muslim, christian, atheist, wickan, jew, buddhist, you name it, are only labels, nothing more, nothing less. as the man says - "don't judge a book by it's cover", even better (i seem to be attached to that phrase here  ) don't judge at all.
well, life goes on.
t'asu
ps hi trippy, our path seem to cross often recently. keep on trucking :-) | |
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| Is it ok to hate muslims when it comes to dating?
Posted: 10/3/2007 4:13:10 AM |
Every muslim woman I have met in person is every bit as opinionated and strong-willed as anybody else, and amazingly enough, most are rather outspoken about equality)
The best explanation I've ever heard for the head-scarf and covering the face is this:
Feminine beauty makes men stupid. Keeping it hidden makes it sacred, only the woman and her husband are privy to her beauty. And thus, it is more meaningful when revealed.
This would have more meaning if women came up with this rule for themselves and it wasn't imposed upon them. I doubt if the majority of women in conservative Muslim countries decided for themselves they didn't want to wear the head covering that it would change anything. I have talked to Muslim people and women. I remember one story that a teen Muslim girl told me of her falling asleep on the grass outside, she was with her mom. And she woke up with rocks being thrown at her. Her head covering had slipped a little revealing a bit of her hair. This is a girl from a Muslim country who has been living in America for awhile now and who was sent back to her country by her father to marry a cousin in an arranged marriage.
I think judging a person based on their religion to be completely valid. It's not like race or gender or sexual preference that one is born with without choice. Religion has to do with beliefs. There are a lot of beliefs out there that are totally disgusting and demeaning and some religions espouse them. | |
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| Is it ok to hate muslims when it comes to dating?
Posted: 10/3/2007 9:54:49 AM |
This would have more meaning if women came up with this rule for themselves and it wasn't imposed upon them.
This was the explanation given to me by a muslim girl in one of my classes. Here in the States, she has absolutely no reason to continue to do so should she so choose. This is no different than any other religious rule, like Jews eating pork or Christians abstaining from red meat on fridays during Lent. There is no reason to do any of those things, but the people who do so rationalize them in different ways. This was her rationalization, and I think it is a rather poetic one.
I doubt if the majority of women in conservative Muslim countries decided for themselves they didn't want to wear the head covering that it would change anything.
I agree. Did you read my post at all? It sounds like you're just talking for the sake of hearing yourself talk (or typing for the sake of seeing your opinion on a screen).
I have talked to Muslim people and women. I remember one story that a teen Muslim girl told me of her falling asleep on the grass outside, she was with her mom. And she woke up with rocks being thrown at her. Her head covering had slipped a little revealing a bit of her hair. This is a girl from a Muslim country who has been living in America for awhile now and who was sent back to her country by her father to marry a cousin in an arranged marriage.
Then your experience and mine differ, obviously. And it is entirely possible that the conservatives who tried stoning her are operating under a conclusion derived from the Qu'ran that the author never intended. You really think the guys who wrote the bible wanted to see christians using a device that looked like a duck's bill with teeth to rip off another man's penis? Probably not.
I think judging a person based on their religion to be completely valid.
That is your opinion, and you are entitled to it. However, that also makes you, by definition, a bigot. I would suggest you try judging people based on their behavior and personality, which would involve getting to know them beyond the intitial impression.
It's not like race or gender or sexual preference that one is born with without choice. Religion has to do with beliefs. There are a lot of beliefs out there that are totally disgusting and demeaning and some religions espouse them.
And some people of those religions decry them. You painting them all with the same brush denies those who would decry barbarity the respect they deserve: both as human beings, and for having the nerve to in effect, tell their God "Dude, that's ****ed up."
But again, that's your opinion, and you are perfectly entitled to it. | |
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| Is it ok to hate muslims when it comes to dating?
Posted: 10/3/2007 10:59:02 AM | I agree. Did you read my post at all? It sounds like you're just talking for the sake of hearing yourself talk (or typing for the sake of seeing your opinion on a screen).
And at this point I stop reading. Not interested in being one of the people you fight with here on POF. I won't argue for the sake of arguing. | |
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| Is it ok to hate muslims when it comes to dating?
Posted: 10/3/2007 3:23:36 PM | I have a friend in school who is a Muslim and she's a great person.
Look, people of a given religion are usually very diverse. There are conservative Catholics and liberal ones. There are conservative Baptists, and liberal Baptists. You can NOT determine a person's values by what church, synagogue or mosque a person attends. Having common values is more important than what church a person attends.  | |
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| Is it ok to hate muslims when it comes to dating?
Posted: 10/3/2007 11:36:24 PM |
I have a friend in school who is a Muslim and she's a great person.
Look, people of a given religion are usually very diverse. There are conservative Catholics and liberal ones. There are conservative Baptists, and liberal Baptists. You can NOT determine a person's values by what church, synagogue or mosque a person attends. Having common values is more important than what church a person attends.
Yes I know several great Muslim people also. I think if you've decided that what church a person attends isn't that important, I think that is valid and right for you. But if someone decided that they don't want to date or befriend someone of a certain religion then I think that's okay too. Some people are so strident in their non-belief in God and a spiritual world that dating anybody with those kinds of beliefs would just not work out for either one of them.
As you said there is diversity within religions. But if someone makes a statement that they believe that the Bible is the divine word of God, word per word, some people are not going to feel comfortable dating that person. If another person self identifies themselves as a new ager and says they believe each of us are a God, other people with other beliefs are not going to be comfortable dating them, and I don't think that's wrong for people to make those decisions. | |
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| Is it ok to hate muslims when it comes to dating?
Posted: 10/4/2007 8:54:46 AM | Personally speaking, I'd run like hell from any overly religious christian, jew or muslim. To me, they're all the same bunch of nutters. I mean, it's one thing to say you're christian/muslim/jew because that's what your family/community is; however, it's another to actually BELIEVE in all that rubbish.
To me those particular religions seem to be primarily about hate, murder and subjugation, and I want no part of that.
Death to religion, the sooner the better. | |
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| Is it ok to hate muslims when it comes to dating?
Posted: 10/4/2007 9:14:27 AM |
And at this point I stop reading. Not interested in being one of the people you fight with here on POF. I won't argue for the sake of arguing.
A pity you did.
It is entirely your choice to paint everyone of a creed with the same brush. Just as it is their choice to do the same to you. Are you an imperialist pig-dog trying to steal the resources of muslim nations and keep their people subjugated? I highly doubt it. But it is ok for you to view all muslim women as subjugates and little more than slaves.
A pity.
Even more a pity you think I'm here to fight. But that is your opinion, and you are entitled to it. I would urge you to learn the difference between opinion and fact, however.
Good day. | |
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| Is it ok to hate muslims when it comes to dating?
Posted: 11/8/2008 5:13:53 PM | Why would anyone even want to? I've had muslims friends who were great fun. I've met plenty of smart muslims, and muslims have a rich history of advancing science and mathematics, and poetry. Besides, I've met some incredibly pretty and good-looking muslims. One muslim girl told me she'd marry me if I converted. She definitely seemed the type that would not want to just date casually. So it was marriage with conversion or nothing. I wouldn't change my most personal beliefs just to get married to someone I had only known for 2 days, because I was hanging with her brother and his friends on holiday.
But she was a dead ringer for Beyonce, with a beautiful face and an amazing figure, and she was all natural, and not arrogant with it at all, and we got on as well. It was very unexpected, and very welcome, and I simply cannot think of her without being amazed that such a beautiful woman, with such a wonderful personality, would say that to me, without no effort or pressure whatsoever.
But one thing that I have noticed is that there are a whole load of married Muslim women shown in the media who are not ethnically Arab, and are clearly British, or of some similar nationality, and are married to Muslim men. So it definitely appears to me that lots of non-Muslim women are marrying Muslim men and converting to Islam. | |
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| Is it ok to hate muslims when it comes to dating?
Posted: 11/9/2008 12:03:37 AM |
But one thing that I have noticed is that there are a whole load of married Muslim women shown in the media who are not ethnically Arab, and are clearly British, or of some similar nationality, and are married to Muslim men. So it definitely appears to me that lots of non-Muslim women are marrying Muslim men and converting to Islam.
There ARE many women who have converted to Islam...
..some after marriage...
...some long before marriage and purely due to the faith...
...Muslim men can marry women that are "People of the Book" - ie Christian and Jewish so do not NEED to convert...
...Muslim women would be reluctant to marry a non-Muslim as it would be like committing adultery for the rest of their life - hence the conversion comment (even the most lax Muslim frequently thinks this way!)
The only reason white converts stick out so is due to their colour (there are many caucasian Muslims, including from England, Poland, and other European countries - look at Germany's stats for example - but there are actually lots of reverts from Sikhism/Hinduism and afro-carrribean backgrounds - but most people wouldn't realise this... | |
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| Is it ok to hate muslims when it comes to dating?
Posted: 11/13/2008 2:17:34 AM | I am sure I dont introduce myself as "My name is Sheraz and I like to run over puppies" LOL
Well, I dont know about the muslim thing, but you're not gonna score any points with the ASPCA!!!!
Ok that aside. (((still chuckling))) ...ahem...ok. OK
There's this doctor that just had his heart broke by this family back home (some chick's family wasn't happy with the dowery he posted or some such sense.) He's a muslim and handsome in his own way. We kid and joke all the time when he's on the floor and he's proven himself to be a very nice man.
One Christmas, I was stuck working the holiday shift. and so was he. I made my homemade sauce and when I offered him some (it was permeating through the whole floor I had to. I couldn't let him go without tasting the best sauce this side of the boot) he advised me that they couldn't eat pork or pork biproducts.
We got into the discussion of the chick who broke his bank...er...heart (if you knew the amount you'd've sworn her hoo hoo was made of diamonds or something) and relationship customs and things there and after he joked with me about getting married...I said.
"Jesus comes first" (a big ol' up yours to the person who assumes that I'm not an open minded person just for professing that) meaning: you believe what you want but leave my faith and how I go about my beliefs alone.
I'm not wearing anything to cover my head unless it's blistering winter outside or there's no scruntchie or defrizzing product within arms reach.
I'm Still cooking my Sunday Sauce!
He said : " I"ll have sunday salads"
We're not married though we kid and joke about it. but my point is some have tolerance and some do not. Dont let others get you down. Dont be in such a rush to find that love of your life either. Dating is quick and fun but Love takes Time. The Real Kind. It doesn't matter what you worship. To get to know someone takes more time than our selfish asses seem to make time for (as opposed to have time).
You'll find it.
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| Is it ok to hate muslims when it comes to dating?
Posted: 3/19/2009 5:37:13 AM | I've dated two Muslim men. One was an Alabanian Muslim and the second was from Turkey.
The first I met in real life. I was young and had gone to a Catholic college so all I really knew about people who practiced Islam was what I read about - and honestly it was all negative. At this point in my life, I didn't even know Allah was the Arabic word for God! Anyway, this gentleman and I had a wonderful, romantic, fulfilling relationship and because of him, I was opened up to a whole new world. Alas, the timing was off for us and it didn't work out but I am eternatlly grateful for meeting him and for all that I learned.
I met the Turkish gentleman on here and we had a short-lived relationship. What I did find interesting is he described himself as non-religious in his profile when in fact, he was pretty devout. It's sad that people feel the need to hide who they truly are. It wouldn't have made a difference to me but obviously it would have to others.
I believe many problems in the world could be solved if we broke down the barriers and got to know people who are "different" than we are. People are afraid of what they do not understand. | |
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