| Am I crossing the line doing background checks on a suspicious date?
Posted: 10/17/2007 4:49:10 AM |
So every man in your mind is a threat to harm you? I think I'll pass on dating someone making their own set of rules....No Maus,thank you very much!
how did i ever guess you was a man ?!?!?! lmao
i never said everyman....if i start talking to someone (usually someone from my town population 3900) i ask around if no one knows of this person then i start googleing his ass
and if a man can not understand my concern about going out with someone i dont know being a woman who lives alone with children well i dont need him and its interesting that you compleletly left out about the woman being murdered in her own home after meeting someone ....things like that dont happen in my town we dont have murders that often so excuse the **** out of me if i show a lil bit of concern for the safety of my children because no matter how long you "talk" to someone on here they could only be telling you what they want you to think ...not actual facts! so kindly step off my ass and for the fact your passing on a date with me ..you'd never have a snowballs chance in hell with me to begin with ...im not lacking in offers of dates | |
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| Am I crossing the line doing background checks on a suspicious date?
Posted: 10/17/2007 5:12:43 AM | And BTW! The man who I was referring to who was arrested so many times...had told me that he had NEVER been arrested for anything!
Checking on someone's past criminal behavior is not sticking your nose in the business or overstepping boundaries, it's keeping not only YOU safe, but your loved ones!
Don't stop at checking their local county court records, check newspapers also!
Stay safe by staying smart. | |
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| Am I crossing the line doing background checks on a suspicious date?
Posted: 10/17/2007 7:14:50 AM | Most men here do not have a problem having background checks,but it's women wihholding information most of us have issues with.
Men have as much right knowing who they're talking to as women do.
Women are the equal rights advocate so women anti up and give us men info so we can check y'all out,too.
Some of you women act like men's lives are not as important as women's lives.
But,believe me,there are married women on dating sites lying as much as there are men on dating sites lying. As many women have hidden agendas as men have.
I don't think men that are up front and honest should have to deal with women that "GO BEHIND" the man's back sneaking around doing background checks...If "HONESTY" is so important to people why not tell the guy you want a background check then give him the same information about you that you demand from him.
And if your so afraid of the man don't go out with him. I think some women use this topic just to bash men or it seems so anyway.
Please,stop using children as a reason to check men out....If your going to use your children ,think about the number of men that have children in their home.. And some women abuse children too. Especially step children,same as some men do...
Women's rights over men's rights just won't fly ladies. Equality ,Trust and Honesty are important....
Honesty and Trust is what everybody say they want in any relationship. How can honesty and trust be the elements that hold relationships together if some women withhold their info but demand info from men?
 :peace | |
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| Am I crossing the line doing background checks on a suspicious date?
Posted: 10/17/2007 8:38:20 AM |
Most men here do not have a problem having background checks,but it's women wihholding information most of us have issues with.
And you caant do a background check on a female WHY exactly ? I dont hold anything back - dont need to but if someone wanted to check on me then hey, have at it | |
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Rys_
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Joined: 6/19/2007
Msg: 481 | |
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| Am I crossing the line doing background checks on a suspicious date?
Posted: 10/17/2007 8:44:39 AM | | I would like to know if someone has a history of jail time etc - but I wouldnt care about bankruptcy or simple things that normal people might run across, a DUI. Ok I can understand a one time thing, but if there are 5 DUI's then that poses a problem but then again I also didnt meet the men I date on the internet, I met them through mutual friends and normal day to day life | |
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| Am I crossing the line doing background checks on a suspicious date?
Posted: 10/17/2007 9:01:31 AM | YOU ARE NOT CROSSING THE LINE WHEN IT COMES TO YOUR OWN SAFETY!!!
I encourage it.......I've even gone as far as to log on to the OTIS website. Not many people know about it....you can either Google search OTIS or copy and paste the attached link.
http://www.state.mi.us/mdoc/asp/otis2.html
It's a Michigan Offender Tracking Information System. I do believe you have to know the last name.....It also has a link to the Sex Offender Registry!
USE IT AND TRUST IT!!! If a potential date has been in some trouble, it will show it, IF IT HAPPENED IN MICHIGAN!!!
BE SAFE OUT THERE EVERYONE.....even guys can use the site..you'd be amazed on how many females have a background!
Good Luck and Be Safe!!! | |
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| Am I crossing the line doing background checks on a suspicious date?
Posted: 10/17/2007 10:43:23 AM |
But,believe me,there are married women on dating sites lying as much as there are men on dating sites lying. As many women have hidden agendas as men have.
you really dont get the whole issue at hand do you?!?!?
its not about whether their married or not at least not to me its not ...its making sure i know what kind of person he is ...whether i can place my self in a situation with this man and feel safe regardless if its in a public place ....and the comment about you haveing kids to ....im sure you could fight off a woman attempting to rape you but do you think the average woman can?
its not about equailty its about likeing and respecting the other person enough that you want them to feel secure in your presence ... | |
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eagre
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Joined: 10/11/2007
Msg: 487 | |
| Am I crossing the line doing background checks on a suspicious date?
Posted: 10/17/2007 10:55:44 AM | The whole idea of starting with someone is that you are starting over. A woman can give you so much love and healing . She can give you a second chance at being happy. People do so many strange things when they are left alone and are thrown away and cheated on and treated poorly by an ex. Most criminal or insanity things happen from being unloved and thrown away. I read allot of statements from men and women about why they committed crimes or were insane and they had mostly to do with a marital break down or a person being unloved and rejected.
My advice would be to give a person a chance and love them, sacrifice hugely for them, be there for them in their times of need and always tell them they are not to blame and they are special and so on, in order so they could have a chance at becoming the woman or man they wanted to become. | |
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| Am I crossing the line doing background checks on a suspicious date?
Posted: 10/17/2007 11:00:52 AM | | i have to agree with ladybugg..............anyone that i'd consider to do a backround check on isn't worth my time dating or getting involved in. i have to trust my gut feeling and just walk away, no matter how attracted i am to that person. | |
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| Am I crossing the line doing background checks on a suspicious date?
Posted: 10/17/2007 11:19:24 AM | This thread is still going on yikes............. I asked a question a while back and NO ONE who agrees to checks can or did answer, so I pose the question again
What if the guy passes the background check and is still a creep what then? I know doctors , lawyers , firefighters and cops who can pass any background test and some of these guys are the biggest dawgs ( dogs) out there, what then?
I still believe that common sense when meeting someone is paramount, if you have a suspicion , RUN............ whats the purpose of invading someone privacy unless he or she agrees to it, for me I have nothing to hide and if and when I get married for sure I would submit a background check, but for dating? or just meeting someone for the first time?
are some of you that paranoid that you have to go to extremes? whats next should we provide DNA samples, Interpol, RCMP, FBI clearances and a psych report? | |
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| Am I crossing the line doing background checks on a suspicious date?
Posted: 10/17/2007 8:06:40 PM | | yes if any of these things come to you as a red flag use your head why do a backgroundcheck like its called common sense Oh lord that is the dumbest thing i have come across on this board tonite. It doesn't take a brain scientist to figure it out just don't go out with him lie say you are married god | |
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| Am I crossing the line doing background checks on a suspicious date?
Posted: 10/19/2007 12:35:16 AM | | I think it's our own responsibility to keep ourselves safe as women. Having a man that you don't know come to your house and pick you up and leaving with him in his car is not a good idea. When you start feeling uncomfortable when he's putting his hands all over you and trying to force you to do something you don't want, you are more likely not to just walk away. It would only take one time for a man to put his hands on me inapropriately for me to leave the situation, even if I had to walk. Don't be a victim. | |
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tdh46
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Joined: 1/7/2007
Msg: 499 | |
| Am I crossing the line doing background checks on a suspicious date?
Posted: 10/20/2007 1:27:00 PM | " His screen name is gotaclueguy. he used to be haveaclueguy"
Everyday i come on to the forums thinking the bitterness can't get any worst, then i read these threads and realize that there really is another level most of you can sink to. Why are most of you bitter and jaded people on a dating sites i will never understand. If you hate the opposite sex so much, why don't you become nuns or something, Everytime you hit send on your computer it's nothing but hate and vendictivness towards the opposite sex. Get off dating sites and go see a therapist, actually go see a whole group of therapist, i don't think just one therapist can't help most of you people. | |
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| Am I crossing the line doing background checks on a suspicious date?
Posted: 10/20/2007 3:23:35 PM | Post 497:
"Why bother? Why bother dating anyone you'd consider having to do a check on?"
Makes sense!
But I guess for some, playing "CSI" is part of the "fun" of "Dating in 2007"!
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To say or infer that many or most men in here have a "problem" with background checks is insulting as well as untrue! When many "people" in here have trouble with answering simple foreground questions such as "how long have you been divorced" or "how many children you have"! Or even "what is your (first) name".
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