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| How important is sex in a relationship?
Posted: 8/2/2007 10:13:16 PM | The importance of sexual intimacy in a relationship is totally dependent on what you want the relationship to be. Some people are craving a close companion and a meeting of the minds, and sex might not figure very prominently in their lifestyle together. Nothing wrong with that.
But for some people, exploring their sexuality with a loving partner is a deeply experienced part of their spirituality. Our culture has spent eons trying to separate spirituality from sexuality, separating our divine essence within our self from the physical self that we express in sexuality. It's all one and the same . . . all life expresses sexuality!!
The merging of male and female energies in estactic explosion (like Akimmbo says, a "freightload of fireworks") has at its roots the soul's urge to merge - male and female energies, and the disassociated two parts of the self. Soul and body become one . . . for some people, there is no more important experience than that.
And besides, it's really, really, really fun . . . | |
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| How important is sex in a relationship?
Posted: 8/5/2007 9:46:38 PM | | You’ll get degrees of importance but overall you won’t find someone saying that it’s not important. Sex is a wonderful thing. In a relationship it’s extremely frustrating to have your sex life go unsatisfied. That’s obvious. I have seen relationships end because the guy was bad in bed, it happens.. I sympathize too, I’m 26 and at this point there is no way I see myself getting involved with someone knowing that I’m going to have a poor sex the rest of my life. But I wouldn't give up if it was bad right away, for me part of the fun is learning what my man likes, what turns him on, etc. I do think it takes time, and after a while if the sex doesn't get any better then I'd say something. | |
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| How important is sex in a relationship?
Posted: 8/5/2007 10:14:49 PM | I really feel sexual-physical intimacy IS of utmost importance in a relationship.
At this junction in my life I am VERY in tune with my libido and sexuality.
But I also am cognizant that men in my age group are not always as sexually in tune...
BUT.....they certainly can pay attention to my needs and in turn I gladly reciprocate, or the reverse.
It is all about communication.
That takes trust. Learning from one another...TIME. Patience.
And as so many have wisely said...if both partners are willing students,just keep learning from one another.
BUT...If one partner could not give a sheit...move on. Dodging that painful bullet.
Hey...watch ole Sue Johanson. She'll straighten you guys out!! HaHa! | |
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| How important is sex in a relationship?
Posted: 8/5/2007 10:27:44 PM | "Well here's my two cents worth, if you're facing concerns in the bedroom. Objectively, view many pornographic films together. Pay attention to His and Her oral technique, for instance. Though they can be some what challenging, try some of those possitions. Add some sound effects, it's fun and funny, breaks the ice. Do it like a Porn Star and do it often. You won't need to go to the gym."
You have GOT to be kidding. DO IT LIKE A PORN STAR????????????????????????? I am sorry, but porn is created by men for men. LARGELY anyway. I have yet to see someone perform oral sex on a female in a porn movie that is what a woman wants in reality. For that matter, think about it...how many times in a porn movie does the guy ever actually have an orgasm from the oral sex being performed? Every time I've seen it, he finishes it off himself. And I have yet to see a female orgasm on a porn movie - lots of heavy breathing, but after fifty two position changes, I sincerely doubt any of those women are actually getting off.
I'm thinking if you are having trouble in the bedroom, all you need is some heavy duty communication skills. Learn to open your mouth and ask for things or ask to be told how to do things to make them better.
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| How important is sex in a relationship?
Posted: 8/5/2007 10:42:47 PM | Yes its important. Anybody who says otherwise is sadly mistaken.
The problem in a relationship is often something else that plays out in their sex life, thus people mistakenly complain about the sex when that is only another symptom of another problem.
And its okay if you don't get it right the first time or when you are younger, you get 'better' as you get older and more 'comfortable in your own skin'. I find that women over 35 or much better in this area than those under 30, but there are always exceptions.
Everyone can and should be multi-orgasmic....but we let our minds get in the way!
I don't anymore and prefer women that do not either...but you have to give a person time to learn you and you them, or you will never know.
Sign me happily multi-orgasmic as our my partners! | |
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| How important is sex in a relationship?
Posted: 8/7/2007 5:41:51 AM | Sex is important in a relationship. As they say the two biggest breakers are sex and money. But that is a different thread. Sex must be discussed like anything else good or bad if it is good can you imagine how it might be even better if you talk about it. | |
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| How important is sex in a relationship?
Posted: 7/20/2008 1:29:14 AM | Like many others, men and women, I think that sex to a relationship is as an engine is to a car. Without sexual desire, and a need to be sexual with each other, it's just friendship. There's nothing wrong with friendship, but "romantic love" is based on the instincts that come from our hard wired sex drive. IMO, love begins with desire, and if the desire isn't too overwhelming to resist, then the relationship will never truly fulfill the need.
I've tried the other paradigms, even the dreaded "friends first", where sex, when it came, had been delayed, and was never intense. Looking back, I realize that the only relationships that were ever fulfilling, or lasted for long, were ones that began with sex on the first date, and where the desire remained strong. In the 3 great loves of my life, making love was always the first priority, even 5 years into it. Because we were great lovers, we wanted to spend time together, so we found things to do together, but everything we did was in some way, a form of foreplay.
People, including me, drift into "relationships" that are little more than friendship, because there is no great love interest available. Then, they may have "occasional" sex, and can end up missing "the one", who might be all the things we all hope for. I have put my head in the sand and tried to ignore the truth, but the reality for me is, if the sex isn't great, intense, and frequent, then it really isn't "love". If it's right, it's there, right from the start. | |
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| How important is sex in a relationship?
Posted: 7/20/2008 2:21:14 AM | Sex is NOT the relationship...sex is PART of the relationship. Unless all you are after is sex. Let's face it, the majority of the time, with someone new, your first time having sex isn't going to be...earth shattering. It takes time to get to know each other, to learn about turns on, and to make a connection. Sometimes that connection is there right away, but a lot of times, it's not.
Don't judge everything on your first time having sex. Could be your partner was nervous. It happens. Give it a few more times, talk about it, talk about fantasies, turn ons etc etc. Sex is not everything. If that is the only thing you have in common, the relationship will grow stale, fast. | |
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| How important is sex in a relationship?
Posted: 7/20/2008 3:06:29 AM | Sex is important to a lot of people in the initial stages of meeting.
Then the real world sets in, work, stress, kids, health, bad backs, headaches, pure boredom and life, then sex takes the back burner, bought out once or twice a year for effect.   | |
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| How important is sex in a relationship?
Posted: 7/20/2008 3:37:13 AM |
Then the real world sets in, work, stress, kids, health, bad backs, headaches, pure boredom and life, then sex takes the back burner, bought out once or twice a year for effect
For me, when sex ceases to be the primary reason we're together, then we shouldn't be together.
It would be different, were I in a relationship, and we had a child together. Young children have a first claim on the attention of their parents, and there are times, when, for one reason or another, a day here or there, things don't fall into place.
However, there are those relationships, where you just have to have each other most days, and sometimes more than once, and those relationships where the sexual connection of man and woman "takes the back burner".
For me, those relationships, where the passion is intense, and remains so over time, are the ones that last. The "back burner" ones don't. | |
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| How important is sex in a relationship?
Posted: 7/20/2008 4:17:36 AM | ""how important is water for fish?""
How important is air for humans?
How important is food in a relationship? No food, your relationship starves to death and so do you. What if one of you isn't a good cook? But you are really really in Love? And the sex is really good? Would you break up a relationship because your fish had no water?
Or should those fish evolve to a higher life forms and become transfibians? Then they can learn something from these forums, and use stop asking the same question over and over again. What if a fish did that and didn't have any water?
That's the importance of sex to some people. I love sex. I love love more. Its true love, right or wrong? You decide. I am one of those people who only think sex is really important, otherwise, why bother with a relationship? Why should fish need water, we don't all the time, but that's another topic for an original thread. | |
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| How important is sex in a relationship?
Posted: 7/20/2008 8:01:20 AM | For me, it's vital but I wouldn't immediately dump a guy because it was not up to par. I prefer men in my age group, so they're usually divorced with kids and at that point they should pretty well know what they're doing . If we've been going out for a while and the sex still isn't good, it can no longer be chalked up to "nerves".
The last time I was in that situation, I dated him for about 4 months. I brought the subject up several times and he just blew it off like a joke, so I had to say goodbye. I doubt I'll waste as much time if I'm ever in that situation again, but he was a really nice guy and I liked him a lot, but bad or no sex is a deal killer. (Medical reasons don't count, provided I'm privy to that information.) | |
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| How important is sex in a relationship?
Posted: 7/20/2008 8:11:32 AM | | I think it's hugely important and anyone who thinks its not are kidding themselves. Its the one relationship where we can be vulnerable and share that very intimate part of ourselves. Plus it helps us feel closer and more loving to the other person. Its like the glue that bonds the relationship. Not to mention that make up sex is sooo much better hehe | |
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| How important is sex in a relationship?
Posted: 7/20/2008 8:22:10 AM | | I feel sex is very important in a relationship . It at least ranks with in the top 2/3 things I am looking for in a relationship . I have discovered when they sex goes ,the relationship is sure to follow ,because ,as the previous poster said ,it is the glue that bonds the relationship . | |
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