| Should I Avoid Messaging Professional Women/Women That Make More Money Than I?
Posted: 8/2/2007 6:34:23 PM | OP:
You obviously have issues regarding that description. It doesn't matter how she feels about it, you have the issue so it will be an issue. You've already stereotyped yourself to a degree, does it really matter if she agrees with you.. or not? It's a bigger deal to you than you think, otherwise you wouldn't ask the question. | |
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| Should I Avoid Messaging Professional Women/Women That Make More Money Than I?
Posted: 8/2/2007 6:48:03 PM | | OP you often create the reality in which you live. If you think a woman is out of your league for whatever reason, guess what? She's out of your league. Women will reject the advances of a man for hundreds of different reasons; why lose sleep over why a lady overlooks your many positive qualities and dwells on things that are often out of your control? It's her loss, not yours. Do you understand what I'm saying, Warrior? | |
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| Should I Avoid Messaging Professional Women/Women That Make More Money Than I?
Posted: 8/2/2007 7:43:57 PM | I know of professionally employed women who can't stand it, when guys start going on about the issue of them, making more money...My friend who is an Architect, talks about this a lot...She doesn't care what you do for a living..She cares, how you live your life...there are those who might slip into "ignorance" and deny themselves
a lot of good people from limiting themselves, into dating only those who make as much money as they do...however, people like that, are people to avoid, for they are
impoverished from their own myopic thinking and limit themselves to class oriented ignorance...I have dated, Architects, Union leaders and former prostitutes...and the former prostitute, is the one that i felt was the most real and is still a dear friend who i love very much... | |
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| Should I Avoid Messaging Professional Women/Women That Make More Money Than I?
Posted: 8/3/2007 7:01:12 PM | I mean, I'll read about someone who is my age or younger, and it says that they are a CEO or something. I start thinking, "geez, here I am in my lowly job." People like that I find can be rather judgemental. As if you dropped the ball in the game of life and are therefore unworthy.
The men who invented the transistor never made fortunes like... oh, eToys founder Phil Polishook. The transistor is considered on of the most important inventions of the 20th century. They won a Nobel prize for their work in 1956. Everything you've ever known was made possible by that invention. Mr. Polishook made a fortune for himself by bailing out of eToys.com before the bust that destroyed $10.1 billion in investor wealth.
When you first read that, I'm sure your first though was... "The inventors of the transistor really dropped the ball." No?  | |
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| Should I Avoid Messaging Professional Women/Women That Make More Money Than I?
Posted: 8/3/2007 7:23:28 PM | | It comes down to what you're comfortable with. If their financial situation is a deciding factor, then yeah, I would avoid them if that makes you uncomfortable. Don't avoid them if you fear that they will reject you. Women will reject you for many reasons, so don't consider that one aspect as being the big turn away. Some guys avoid women without a job due to concerns that she'll want to mooch off of him. Some guys don't care about that and wouldn't mind being a sugar daddy. So, it comes down to you as an individual. If you're uncomfortable with it, avoid them. If you're worried about them? Ignore all your concerns of why a woman may reject you. Focus on why women would appreciate and want to be with you, keep a positive attitude. Often women are most attracted to confidence, to positive attitudes, and guys that make them want to smile. | |
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| Should I Avoid Messaging Professional Women/Women That Make More Money Than I?
Posted: 8/3/2007 7:53:56 PM | Maybe you should ask yourself what is your personal criteria in seeking a date or a potential girlfriend? And does her profession determine your decision in choosing a mate? If you wanted to date a woman that was a doctor or lawyer than why did you not acheive that same level of status for yourself? Yes! The woman with the white collar job can choose to date a blue collar man if she sincerely love him, but why would a woman of white collar status work so hard to acheive high status just so she can date a man of blue collar status? Does a woman of white collar status have the same values with a man of blue collar status? I'm sure the woman of white collar status worked hard for her success knowing she wanted the finer things in life, while the man with blue collar status is happy to settle for a simpliar life. You may find that you may not like dating a woman of white collar status because she wants to shop at Bloomingdales while you're just happy to shop at Wal-Mart. She would like to see a production of Shakespeare while your idea of high brow culture is going out to the movie theater to see the latest Scorsese film, not that I'm trying to insult the man, Scorsese is a talented director, but one should get the idea.
All I would tell you is just send out a few e-mails to women that you like and if you feel that your profession affects the outcome of getting a date than maybe the timing is appropriate to upgrade your status to seek better people. You're still a young man at the age of 33. You have been fortunate to gain work experience. You can always go back to school to get a better career. You can also decide if you want to establish your own business. All you need is a good idea that will sell, the rest is careful marketing.Hopefully everthing works out for you.
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| Should I Avoid Messaging Professional Women/Women That Make More Money Than I?
Posted: 8/3/2007 9:45:20 PM |
And does her profession determine your decision in choosing a mate?
Well it doesn't make that much of a difference to me, but I fear that it might make a difference to her.
If you wanted to date a woman that was a doctor or lawyer than why did you not acheive that same level of status for yourself?
That's just it. I'm not looking for that person specifically. It's just that they may see me as a failure because I didn't reach that level of status.
but why would a woman of white collar status work so hard to acheive high status just so she can date a man of blue collar status?
See now that remark strikes me as classist, as if people who are well-off all get that way via hard work and intelligence and not privilege. As if blue-collar and poor people are that way due to their own dumb fault.
I'm sure the woman of white collar status worked hard for her success knowing she wanted the finer things in life, while the man with blue collar status is happy to settle for a simpliar life
Now that completely ignores equality issues. Did she work that hard or merely come from an upper-middle-class family? Did the blue-collar guy just want a simpler life or was he not able to afford an education?
You may find that you may not like dating a woman of white collar status because she wants to shop at Bloomingdales while you're just happy to shop at Wal-Mart.
I don't shop at Wal-Mart.
She would like to see a production of Shakespeare while your idea of high brow culture is going out to the movie theater to see the latest Scorsese film, not that I'm trying to insult the man, Scorsese is a talented director, but one should get the idea.
So wealthy people all go to see Shakespeare productions. Maybe this is why I feel the way I do. People such as you DO in fact look down your noses on people such as myself. You're basically making classist assumptions.
All I would tell you is just send out a few e-mails to women that you like and if you feel that your profession affects the outcome of getting a date than maybe the timing is appropriate to upgrade your status to seek better people.
Ok, so economic status="better" people?
So that means the person in a higher income bracket is kinder, more ethical, and honest than the gal who works at Target? Hmmm.
You're still a young man at the age of 33. You have been fortunate to gain work experience. You can always go back to school to get a better career.
Yeah and go 40 grand into debt and maybe see that field I go into be outsourced.
You can also decide if you want to establish your own business.
Is that so? It's that easy? Wow. I'll call Carelton Sheets then.
All you need is a good idea that will sell, the rest is careful marketing.
And you have to have money to begin with of course. Unless you buy into late-night infomercials.
Oh I've got it. Amway!
Hopefully everthing works out for you.
Mmmhmm. | |
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| Should I Avoid Messaging Professional Women/Women That Make More Money Than I?
Posted: 8/3/2007 10:19:25 PM |
Well it doesn't make that much of a difference to me, but I fear that it might make a difference to her.
It's just that they may see me as a failure
Are you scared sh*tless? Repeat this phrase in the mirror: "Kiss my a*s." Remember how you look saying it. Use it when needed. Including now.
while the man with blue collar status is happy to settle for a simpliar life
This actually kind of applies to me... I got my land handled and my house on the way, so I turned down a career managin a finance company and I'm goin into teaching. Why be miserable for 70% of my waking life chasin giant paychecks I don't need? Might as well be happy, as long as I don't end up poor. I don't need a bunch of consumer goods to validate me. I buy bagged cereal and off-brand cans of corn. It's tasty. I drive older vehicles. They're cheaper. I can fix em up and repair em myself. I win three times, countin insurance. It leaves me more money to spend on myself. You don't like it? Kiss my a*s.
And I think that's the key... if you're happy with what you do, to h*ll with anybody that doubts you. Including me.
Yeah and go 40 grand into debt and maybe see that field I go into be outsourced.
Is that so? It's that easy? Wow. I'll call Carelton Sheets then.
And you have to have money to begin with of course. Unless you buy into late-night infomercials. Oh I've got it. Amway!
Wait...nevermind. It looks like you might not happy with your chosen path. If you're insecure about it, fix it. Simple!
OK, I know it's not THAT simple, but if you want it, you can get it. You just have to WANT IT BAD and be willing to take the chance. Either that, or move to a country where everybody has the same socioeconomic status: it will most likely be poor and hungry. It won't be so bad... there will be lots of skinny girls that adore you.
I might be wrong, but I'm guessin you've seen Clerks.... careful not to make black-and-white Dante Hicks your hero.
The reason these fields continue to get outsourced is that smart men, who want to get paid like they're smart, refuse to compete.
Anybody can run a forklift... go run a crane and get in a union. They train you and they pay very well. I know a guy who makes 25 bucks an hour sittin in a break room until they need to fire up the crane. He's buildin a house for cash right now.
but why would a woman of white collar status work so hard to acheive high status just so she can date a man of blue collar status?
I'd still like to think that there are women out there who are simultaneously professional and lookin for true love, not just status validation or upgrades... if not, they can kiss my a*s. | |
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| Should I Avoid Messaging Professional Women/Women That Make More Money Than I?
Posted: 8/4/2007 2:40:40 PM | OP - I think it depends on the woman. I'm a professional who really doesn't care if the man I'm with makes as much as me, etc - as long as he isn't going to be all weird about it at some point in the future. However, if the woman states in her ad that she is looking for someone 'career-oriented and driven' as you stated in your original post, then that particular woman has probably answered your question. So, if you're really interested in someone and she hasn't been clear as to whether she cares - I say go ahead and contact her - the worst thing that would happen is that she'd say no, right?  | |
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| Should I Avoid Messaging Professional Women/Women That Make More Money Than I?
Posted: 3/22/2008 11:36:09 PM | H*ll no.
Many professional women (including me) want a chance to relax, have fun and get away from the pressures of work. Being involved with a career driven guy may not allow you to do that very much.
About halfway through grad school, I got tired and disillusioned with the program. I quit and started dating a guy soon afterwards. He encouraged me to go back - and I was miserable again.
It also comes down to: do women want to date a man or his money? Some of the super successful/prestigious jobs also require *long* schedules. Lawyers, doctors, CEOs, enteprenurs, college professors.
I would admire a guy who is passionate about what he does and/or is making the world a better place. Making financial sacrifices to do that shows strength of character.
However, I would add in that I would prefer to date a guy who is fairly intelligent. I think I would have difficulty relating otherwise. | |
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| Should I Avoid Messaging Professional Women/Women That Make More Money Than I?
Posted: 3/23/2008 3:17:18 AM | OP: I say u message who the heck you want to and if they do not respond then that is on them.
I have worked varied jobs making varied amount of $$ and I do not disclose the money I make because, well that is my BI BUSINESS.... I will say that I would never look down on a hard working man, I would look down MORE on someone that just sits on his butt and really does not work for a living...but that is just me. Now for all you suits, I am not saying that you just sit there and do nadda, simply cause in ALOT of cases that is not true at all...
It all comes back to the guy really... One can NOT generalize here.
Bottom line OP:
There is alot to be said about working hard and making money no matter what it is you do. Don't sell yourself short. :) | |
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| Should I Avoid Messaging Professional Women/Women That Make More Money Than I?
Posted: 3/23/2008 4:04:28 AM | | I also think you answered your own question. The main reason you dont feel comfy with contacting white collar women is an insecurity you have that they somehow are better than you. By your own admission tho, you might have relatively little in common with someone climbing the corperate ladder. You may be more comfy just sticking with women's profiles who sound like they have more the same outlook on life you do. Realize tho that just because a woman has a white collar job, she may be just as down to earth as you are when the job is over. You may find a professional woman who wants an unpretentious man. In general, read the profile style and be less concerned with their occupation. | |
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| Should I Avoid Messaging Professional Women/Women That Make More Money Than I?
Posted: 3/23/2008 5:02:24 AM | OP, I don't think it's any kind of insecurity going on, but it is a clash of worldviews. If a woman is saying she wants someone who is climbing the corporate ladder, is ambitious, works hard -- you know the rest -- then you also have a good idea that she places a high value on what you do for a living. Relax! She's filtered herself right out of your search pool. Why are you even worrying about it? Find someone who emphasizes in her profile what you want.
PS. This advice comes to you courtesy of the most politically hardcore conservative guy you'll ever read on POF. The corporate world is the antithesis of actual industry, because it is activity shorn of morality. | |
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| Should I Avoid Messaging Professional Women/Women That Make More Money Than I?
Posted: 4/9/2008 3:21:31 AM | Dunno, maybe this sentence "Maybe I feel as if people like that, male or female, look down on folks like me?" describes your feelings better. Sounds like you are unhappy with your job and you don't want your girl to make things worse on you and demean your abilites and achievements.
I think what you could do is finding someone according to your personality only. Money is good to pay your bills and provide some basic confort, more than that is just problem. | |
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| Should I Avoid Messaging Professional Women/Women That Make More Money Than I?
Posted: 4/9/2008 3:41:00 AM | | Their are shallow people in all walks of life, be proud of who you are and what you have to offer. its not all about money for some people, I am finding from these posts and the comments on these sites that people are way too materialistic and focus on the wrong things when looking for a partner and it is no surprise that their are so many unhappy screwed up single people........ Its all superficial and materialistic and if relationships aren't based on something deeper then they are destined for failure, try examining the persons life experiences and interests instead of their financial position and pay packet, talk to the person and find out who they really are and what is important to them before you make a judgement........ | |
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| Should I Avoid Messaging Professional Women/Women That Make More Money Than I?
Posted: 4/9/2008 4:41:29 PM | | If you are going to date a woman of means, you need to at least treat her respectively, and consider the cost of dating as "an investment". After all, if she is "marriage material", then you will be gaining her high income as part of your raised standard of living. If she is not marriage material, then why are you dating her anyway? You are wasting your money. If all you are after is the sex.... forget it! | |
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