| Should I Avoid Messaging Professional Women/Women That Make More Money Than I?
Posted: 4/23/2008 5:44:26 PM | | If she claims you are "beneath her station", move to a different woman, not a different station. If she is defined by her title/position/possessions/toys, she's not the one for you....or anyone else for that matter LOL. You can't make generalizations about people. Go for it. If you meet and hit it off, the D&B rating shouldn't matter. | |
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| Should I Avoid Messaging Professional Women/Women That Make More Money Than I?
Posted: 4/23/2008 8:37:13 PM | | Being a professional or having a "white collar" career does not necessarily mean she commands a higher salary. I know plenty of "blue collar" workers who make a heck of a lot more than I do. And, I really don't care what a man does for a living as long as he's gainfully employed and works hard at what he does. Work ethic means a lot more to me than a job title. | |
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| Should I Avoid Messaging Professional Women/Women That Make More Money Than I?
Posted: 4/24/2008 10:18:31 AM | | If it intimidates you the don't message her but it could be your loss. Like in everything we are all different. I want a smart man, my intellectual equal, but that doesn't mean he has to fit into a specific job category. There are some very intelligent people who have chosen life paths that haven't taken them to white collar jobs. I don't care what you do for a living as long as you have drive for something. | |
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| Should I Avoid Messaging Professional Women/Women That Make More Money Than I?
Posted: 5/11/2008 6:35:43 PM |
That being said, should I not message a woman who is, say a corporate trainer or a research analyst, or a person with some other fancy title?
The reason why I ask is because it doesn't seem as if women like that want to date someone in my position. They seem to want men who are at their level or higher in terms of income and job prestige. Therefore, it seems like a waste of time for me to even try to contact them.
It's not a huge deal to me. I tend to prefer women and people in general who are bohemian and free-spirited and aren't too concerned with trying to climb the corporate ladder.
I have always worked in a male-dominated field, and earned equivalent pay to most men. It was never a huge issue with men, as I was married for 20 yrs. Now, out in the dating world again I am finding that many men have that issue.... but it isn't me creating it. I couldn't care less what a man makes.... I care what he is like on the inside..... and I don't want to be with a man who is bothered if I make more than him.
I wouldn't let a potential partner's income stand in the way from asking them out.... if it bothers them that you make less than them, do you really want to be with them anyway? | |
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| Should I Avoid Messaging Professional Women/Women That Make More Money Than I?
Posted: 5/11/2008 6:59:33 PM | OK, I just jumped in here without any regard to reading much past the OP's initial post on this, but I will read the others very soon.
First thought to mind was motives. I find inteligent women very attractive. Now, that comes from a man that in most of this civilized world is considered just another hillbilly that has no clue as to the way the world works. Motives to your advantage would be to attraction/connection. If you talk some, then comes chemistry. Inteligent women know bullsnot when they see it. If someone pops up that you find interest in, don't be scared all your life! I find that I get more response from intitial contact from such gals. Money has nothing to do with much.
I'm sure I'll have more to say on this.
Happy Sunday!!
"Mothers"  | |
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| Should I Avoid Messaging Professional Women/Women That Make More Money Than I?
Posted: 5/12/2008 10:06:31 AM | | Am I silly or just idealistic. I don't think it should make an inch of difference. I make good money in my field (when I'm working, currently at home with kiddo). I don't look at all as what a man does for a living other than the fact that they do work and can support themselves. It's also important to me that they are happy in the work that they do. The fact this question was asked from a mans veiw point is interesting, and I'm doing my best not to over react and take it as sexist. Is there a woman out there who works in a low to medium pay blue collar job that would think twice about dating a corporate ladder climber? Or is this actually a case of a man not wanting to feel less than a lessor person, A WOMAN? I will pretend that this question doesn't come to mind and doesn't make me angry. | |
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| Should I Avoid Messaging Professional Women/Women That Make More Money Than I?
Posted: 5/12/2008 10:38:35 AM | I have to be honest, my wishes have changed as I have gained experience. I initially said income didn't mean a thing. Then I dated a guy who was in his 40's and never made more than $25,000 a year. He didn't want to keep a job and turned out to be a lazy bum. I had to buy him clothes so he'd look decent when we went somewhere and I paid for all trips, etc. Then, I left him! It was his attitude that bothered me most. If he'd been dedicated and hard working, but in a field that doesn't pay much, I would have felt different.
I myself want to be a professor. I won't get rich, but I will be able to make a good living. I'm not materialistic and I don't want a McMansion, but I do want money to travel and I want to be able to stay out of debt and retire safely. I am willing to work hard and frugally to protect my financial future, so now I want someone who will do the same.
I am not a gold digger. I do not want to lazy and wealthy, but I believe that most women want to feel safe and secure as well as equally matched. I know you can be secure on a blue-collar income, especially with two wage earners. You can even exceed a six figure income with two blue-collar workers. However, corporate types have different personality styles than blue-collar workers. I'm not saying more intelligent or better, but they have a different, go-getter style that may not match up.
Personality counts, and you can tell something about a person's personality by their job. The high-powered CEO probably doesn't have the same relational style as the starving artist, etc. | |
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| Should I Avoid Messaging Professional Women/Women That Make More Money Than I?
Posted: 5/12/2008 11:05:10 AM | Some women want a man to be their equal partner as far as income is concerned and some don't care. So don't avoid someone just because of their position.
My ex had a problem that I made more money then him. I never thought about money I just enjoyed being with him and what he brought out in me.
I've actually chosen not to date a few men because they felt the need to let me know what they do for a living, what they drive, homes and toys they own. That's just a turnoff to me. | |
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| Should I Avoid Messaging Professional Women/Women That Make More Money Than I?
Posted: 5/12/2008 11:09:48 AM | Coastergal,
I know what you mean about the income bragging being a turn off. I got a message from a "doctor" telling me that he had all these great things and could take care of me. First of all, I figured he was lying. Second of all, if he was serious, something was seriously wrong. I don't mind an old-fashioned guy, but sometimes a man wanting to take control (oops, he said take care of!) can be a huge warning sign. | |
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| Should I Avoid Messaging Professional Women/Women That Make More Money Than I?
Posted: 5/12/2008 6:10:23 PM |
Should I not message a woman who is, say a corporate trainer or a research analyst, or a person with some other fancy title? - iwarrior
> Let me see if I have the elements here.
> You are asking a bunch of strangers to advise YOU about the type of people YOU should contact?
> Surely a man who has reached his 34th birthday, as you have, has sufficient discriminatory powers and grey matter to choose who he wishes to contact without asking other people what they think. Or have I missed something here?
> Use your own initiative with something so basic. Anything less weakens your sense of self.
> Best wishes - Soul Union. | |
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| Should I Avoid Messaging Professional Women/Women That Make More Money Than I?
Posted: 5/12/2008 8:26:28 PM | I went out with a wonderful man who had been paying alimony and child support for his three kids for three years. He lived simply, and had great difficulty allowing me to pay for anything, so, for example, we rarely ate out and never went on vacations down south, but went to a lot of low-price concerts and ballgames, fireworks displays and museums, and had a blast.
Before that I went out with a lawyer for three weeks who expected me to pay for his drinks!
I'm happiest with alternating: paying when I invite him to something I enjoy, and vice versa, and going 'dutch' on big ticket items like vacations.
[by the way: Ignore people who belittle your asking a legitimate question! For every one you ask, there will be nine people wondering the same thing and never getting an answer.] | |
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| Should I Avoid Messaging Professional Women/Women That Make More Money Than I?
Posted: 5/12/2008 8:30:14 PM | | You are very insecure! And you are a schmuck! Women who make moeny are awesome. It does not matter who makes the bread as long as you get it and it gets eaten and everyone si happy. You should not be intimidated by women who make more than you. Just look at Oprah. There are amny female ceo's and managers. I don;t sue the term professional becuase the term has been **stardized and means hooker or someone works at any job in this day and age. A professional what? blacksmith? secretary? Coffee getter? Hate that term. They call secretaries administrative assistants too its BS. I call it like it is. You should feel happy form someone who is sucessful nto intimidated by them. | |
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| Should I Avoid Messaging Professional Women/Women That Make More Money Than I?
Posted: 5/12/2008 8:39:27 PM | | OP, well, I would say you pretty much answer your own question. And it's not about how much money they make per se (they don't need yours to get by) or the prestige they need to derive from a man, it's the activities and pastimes that they often enjoy due to their education/opportunity/income. Not because they are condescending or snooty, but maybe they just like the sports /activities /interests that require certain amount of time (and, at times, money) to participate. And they also prefer to spend time with someone who shares many of the same activities/pastimes etc. For instance, if a lady like that likes to travel the world during her vacations (which is pricey), you probably won't be able to afford to go on vacations with her. If she is into opera.. are you? If not, then it is not conducive to a working relationship. Not always, but ~most~ of the time there's a certain correlation between occupation/position and person's interests and inclinations. I know people will jump at me saying PC stuff like money/education level/career ~should not~ matter when it comes to ~love~, but it does - at least in those aspects, and this is reality of life. | |
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| Should I Avoid Messaging Professional Women/Women That Make More Money Than I?
Posted: 5/12/2008 8:47:07 PM | | The amount of money a man makes is of no importance to me..However I expect him to be able to read and understand my profile: Accept the rules laid down on Chat-Lines , IMs etc. and accept when I say: "Thanks, but thanks." Please give me credit for knowing my requirements: (OHH! NOHHH! Please, it ain't that?) | |
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| Should I Avoid Messaging Professional Women/Women That Make More Money Than I?
Posted: 5/12/2008 8:51:33 PM | | no you should go for it. you make a lot more money than me and at least you have a job but even i would not hesitate to message a proffesional woman. women really have all of the power in today's world and they should make more money than men and not only that they should pay for everything on dates. any men out there who feel inadequate about dating a woman that makes more money than they do are crazy and antiquated and old-fashioned and that is no way to be. i am sure that all of you ladies will back me up on this right? | |
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| Should I Avoid Messaging Professional Women/Women That Make More Money Than I?
Posted: 5/12/2008 9:53:56 PM | i wouldnt say u should avoid it but first of all definately dont message womens who specifically say it on theyre profiles that they are looking for someone financially secure or stuff like that thoses are usually indicators that they wont date anyone who doesnt make as much as them. i wouldnt put evryone in the same boat as theyre are exeptions but for example its very rare that u will see either a garbage truck collector dating a lawyer or a fancy business guy dating a women on welfare.somethings in life are just the way it is and it rarely changes.its not rules that were written but its just like lol.
people that make lots of money and have really fancy high paying jobs usually like to date in theyre kinda field.i guess it just makes sense.its kinda the same as people that are not into drugs usually dont want to date people that are into drugs.kinda the same thing.lol
personally i dated womens who had good high paying jobs before so i guess im the proof that some womens wont mind that.im far from rich lol.some womens are tired of meeting jerks with fancy cars and big paychecks that treats them like shit and sometimes they just want to meet a nice guy period no matter what his income or job.so if i was u OP i would just go for any women that u are interested in no matter what kinda job or paycheck she has just as long as she doesnt mind the job and paycheck u have.just dont waist your time with womens wich are basically snobs.lol
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| Should I Avoid Messaging Professional Women/Women That Make More Money Than I?
Posted: 5/12/2008 11:38:20 PM | I checked your profile and understand why white collar women are not interested.
but first - - the jobs that you mention do not pay all that much - - good pay but not all that much - - many more jobs in the corp world pay a lot more - - -
Now back to your profile - - - you take gang postures and are flashing gang signs - - -
what is a woman to expect - - - that sends a message to her that you are not in her world - - and most in the corp world are not interested in your world - - - -
Jim P. | |
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| Should I Avoid Messaging Professional Women/Women That Make More Money Than I?
Posted: 5/13/2008 11:46:30 AM | Soul union.. there is a question to be answered not to be judged..... HUGE difference.
There are people of all ages on POF that ask questions on the forums. Who cares about the age? NO need to be rude to the poster.
OP it is an interesting thread because there are women that won't date someone that they feel is not in their class..... I feel like those women miss out because they assume they are something... they're not! | |
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