| Should I Avoid Messaging Professional Women/Women That Make More Money Than I?
Posted: 5/13/2008 2:34:35 PM | Avoid?
Yes if she makes it illegally, is a miser, can't balance her account, keeps borrowing your credit card, has inherited it from a druglord, or has a multiple personality disorder... Otherwise leave your ego at the doormat of her mansion and be real and spiritually ethical in all your transactions. | |
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| Should I Avoid Messaging Professional Women/Women That Make More Money Than I?
Posted: 5/13/2008 5:37:11 PM | If you are comfortable then you should "message a white collar woman". For me it's just as much about brains as it is financial stability. You don't need to be rich but you do have to be able to support yourself as I can support myself. My exhusband was always intimidated by the fact that I made more $$ then him. He always brought it up! If you are confident in who you are....GO FOR IT! | |
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| Should I Avoid Messaging Professional Women/Women That Make More Money Than I?
Posted: 5/13/2008 6:38:00 PM | | Work is what you do. It is not who you are. Just because a person has a strong work ethic, has had some opportunities and has taken advantage of them, doesn't necessarily mean they are condescending. It could though mean that they are lonely. They may have invested alot of their time getting ahead and not much time socially. They may very well welcome your attention. Each person is different and stereotypes are so unfair. Alot of people on this site seem jaded about the opposite sex, (myself included sometimes). But perhaps we always look in the same place for our potential mates and that is why we keep getting the same result. The mere fact that there are so many of us on this site has to mean that we haven't all given up hope. Put on your cape and take the leap off that building. Do it with the knowledge that if you are rejected, that you are the same wonderful deserving person you were before and that it just wasn't meant to be. Good luck. | |
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| Should I Avoid Messaging Professional Women/Women That Make More Money Than I?
Posted: 5/13/2008 6:55:50 PM | JamesP-
Now back to your profile - - - you take gang postures and are flashing gang signs - - -
Um dude, I'm not in a gang, and that's not a gang gesture. It's called the mallochio. It's an Italian hex sign similar to a "whammy" or whathaveyou. It can be used to ward off the evil eye or for good luck. Ronnie James Dio introduced it to the heavy metal subculture in the early 80's during his stint with Black Sabbath. It's benign.
and most in the corp world are not interested in your world - - - -
If that's the case, then fine. I'll never be a suit. | |
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| Should I Avoid Messaging Professional Women/Women That Make More Money Than I?
Posted: 5/13/2008 6:58:04 PM | Op, I don't make a ton of money but I love what I do.
I aint sure who said it but it went something like this, "If you love your job, you'll never work a day in your life."
Besides, I think you might be due for a sugar mama, equal rights ya know.
Even the high earning, white collar, working women need someone to pick up and move heavy stuff. | |
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| Should I Avoid Messaging Professional Women/Women That Make More Money Than I?
Posted: 5/13/2008 7:24:02 PM | [Quote]
Now back to your profile - - - you take gang postures and are flashing gang signs - - -
Um dude, I'm not in a gang, and that's not a gang gesture. It's called the mallochio. It's an Italian hex sign similar to a "whammy" or whathaveyou. It can be used to ward off the evil eye or for good luck. Ronnie James Dio introduced it to the heavy metal subculture in the early 80's during his stint with Black Sabbath. It's benign.
[\Quote]
and how many people know that sign is not a gang sign - - - and yet I have seen that sign given by gangs many times - - - - so how is a person / woman to know? ? that is the question.
and you will never be in a suit and wonder about dating a woman that lives in the world - -
your profile is very clear on the world you live in - - - quite different than mine - - - a lot of women in the the corp world and others love to have a formal dress and got to dress up events - - - at least once in a while - - -
as for your comments in other post that you will not consider going to college only to find the job out sourced - - - that is defeatist - - - - a lot of jobs can not be outsourced to other companies/countries - - - and some of the jobs are out sourced to local companies that you could work for or start on your own - - -
you sound smart - - become a graphic artist - - that can not be sent overseas - - - many more possibilities are present - - - - life is always a gamble - - but you can reduce the odds. What makes you so sure that your job will be around for the next 20 years - - company does not go under - - or merge with another - - -
Courses at Votech schools do not cost that much - - learn a trade and then in a couple of years open your own shop - - - then the big bucks start flowing in - - - hire other people like you that are content with $30K per year - - pay them $15 per hour while charge your customers $40 per hour for their work.
Jim P. | |
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| Should I Avoid Messaging Professional Women/Women That Make More Money Than I?
Posted: 5/13/2008 8:33:45 PM | JimP-I am interested in writing and singing among other things. It's not as if I want to be stuck in what I'm doing right now forever. Thanks for the advice.
As far as the "gang sign" most women in my age group are going to know that it isn't a gang sign. Anyone who grew up during or after the 80's knows that it has to do with rock music, even if they don't know the whole story behind it. | |
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| Should I Avoid Messaging Professional Women/Women That Make More Money Than I?
Posted: 5/26/2008 4:25:33 PM | I guess it all depends on what you want do you even want a woman who's that career driven and ambitious? I don't think it's about finding someone who your "status" it's more about compatibility.
Sure there is nothing wrong with having a prestigous career like being a doctor or lawyer but just because she has a prestigous career doesn't mean she'll be a good wife or a good girlfriend I know plenty of professional men and women who've been married multiple times and can't get a relationship to last because they're jobs are so demanding. and before anyone jumps down my throat. I'm not generalizing I know they're always exceptions. I can only speak from my personal experience. I Know a few white collar professionals who are pretty cool easy going non judgemental people. but most of the ones I met work, ALOT and they really don't have any interests outside work. They take they're blackberries with them everywhere including the movies or when they're on vacation they're shallow, matarialistic, and they don't know how to relax. I once had a summer office job at a tech company I worked with a lot of people (both male and female) who were very cut-throat corperate types. I hated it most of them were yes-men who would be more then happy to prostitute themselves for a promotion or salary increase they practically lived at the building and if you worked less then 60 hours a week you were shunned.
I don't know about you but I can't be with someone like that. Someone who's that focused on their career. that they have no time for anything else. White collar professionals tend to work long hours. and let's face it, with money and prestige comes arrogance. so what if they look down on you because you're not some bigshot with a suit and a briefcase? There is a good chance You wouldnt be compatible with them anyway. | |
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| Should I Avoid Messaging Professional Women/Women That Make More Money Than I?
Posted: 5/26/2008 4:34:18 PM | If you are interested in someone, let them be the one to decide if you are "good enough".
This is how it should be regardless of their employment.
And you're a guy and should be used to being turned down, yes? (this is what I hear)
From what I can see of you, though, I think you'd be happier with someone who is also creative -- not corporate. But who knows... opposites do attract. | |
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| Should I Avoid Messaging Professional Women/Women That Make More Money Than I?
Posted: 5/26/2008 6:52:01 PM | ^^^
Actually it's about compatibility not being"good enough" for someone. When you tell someone they are not good enough for you you're basically telling them you're better then they are and they are beneath you as a person. Most people would be offended and they have every right to be. It's rude and it's condesending. You're not better then that person you just turned down you may think you are but you're not. They lived a different life then you you probably got opportunities and chances they did not have. That does not make you a better person. Just because you have something they don't (whether it's looks wealth prestige whatever) doesn't mean you were entitled to it consider yourself lucky. | |
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Nic36
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Joined: 5/21/2008
Msg: 112 | |
| Should I Avoid Messaging Professional Women/Women That Make More Money Than I?
Posted: 5/26/2008 8:22:09 PM | iwarrior, you have a charming and funny profile, and I am glad you say that you have decided not to worry about a woman's profession when approaching her. Sure, there are professional women who want a career guy so they can be the perfect power couple, but lots of us don't care and mostly just want a man who is responsible with the money he has. So go for it -- if you think there's a match, blue and white goes fine together.
I am neither rich nor a high powered executive but I do pretty well. I tend to date down financially because I'm just not interested in those driven career men who think a leased BMW and a manicured McMansion is the apex of achievement, while driving themselves to an early heart attack. Me, I'd rather retire early and play, or what's the point of working hard now?
But dating down has it's risks, and some women are going to be put off by those, or burnt by past experiences. I dated one man who practically moved in after 3 weeks and started mooching off me, although he DID vacuum and have dinner ready when I came home. Ugh. It was the 1950's in reverse.
Truthfully, more often than not it's the men who have a problem with it. They get insecure, caught up in preconceived gender roles and stereotypes. And sometimes conflicts do arise -- like when man is always insistent upon paying half, which is very thoughtful, but he's too stinkin' proud to let me treat us going out to a nice restaurant once and a while.
(Oh, and boys, a woman can't a golddigger if she has her own money.)
<div class="quote">and how many people know that sign is not a gang sign - - - and yet I have seen that sign given by gangs many times - - - - so how is a person / woman to know? ? that is the question.
I knew it.  | |
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| Should I Avoid Messaging Professional Women/Women That Make More Money Than I?
Posted: 5/26/2008 8:39:59 PM | This is pretty silly, the differential in income is inconsequential, so saying someone who makes 90k vs 40k is going to have a huge difference in lifestyle is hogwash.
Even approaching 250k, because of taxes ones lifestyle does not change dramatically to drinking champagne every night and flying or sailing in your yacht to the Mediterranean. These people still have to go to the grocery store, buy gas like the rest of us.
I say go for it, The only exception I would make is if the person is Approaching over 500k a year in income. This is the range where people even after taxes start buying yachts and second homes in Hawaii. Even then people making 500k don't have butlers.
let me break it down:
top 10% 70k
top 5% 130k
top 1% 500k
top .1% 1Mil+
So I highly doubt the women your talking to are in the top 5% most likely she will make 70k or more which isn't a whole lot more then the average salary of 40k | |
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| Should I Avoid Messaging Professional Women/Women That Make More Money Than I?
Posted: 5/26/2008 10:29:12 PM | | Unfortunately, people will rave about Women's Empowerment... But reality still has it that women still like their men taking care of them. I am a woman in her early 30's in managment who wants a man who can be at least her equivalent. It's hard to respect a man if he has a career your might be embarassed about. Remember, the relationship doesn't just consist of you two. You have to meet the friends, family, and co-workers... Who will always ask you within the first 3 questions, what do you do for a living... Unless you're extremely good looking or have other strong qualities that she admires (religious, talented, etc...), I would probably try to find someone in your own level. It's always realistic to try to approach someone at your same level... Intelligence, looks, wealth... You have to have something in order to attract someone with one of the above... | |
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| Should I Avoid Messaging Professional Women/Women That Make More Money Than I?
Posted: 5/27/2008 1:16:26 AM | I frown a bit on the usage of the term professional. A lot of people think it refers to the college degree you have and your annual salary, but I think it means much more than that.
In my mind, if you are good at your profession, enjoy your profession, and aim to improve yourself personally and professionally, then you deserve to be called a professional, whether you belong in the white collar or blue collar stereotype.
I learned this when I served in the Army, wondering why there were so many Sergeants Major in their 40s taking orders from Lieutenants in their 20s. It's not always about the piece of paper you got from a random university or the size of your pay check; the most important thing in your life is finding something you enjoy and making a livelihood of it, and any woman you date (white or blue collar) should respect and admire that, or get the boot.
And FYI, Milton Friedman is a bit of a **stard (RIP), you really should read Ayn Rand instead. Atlas Shrugged will make my points here abundantly clear, while reading Noam Chomsky may leave you feeling worthless and unempowered. Nobody but you is manufacturing your own consent. | |
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| Should I Avoid Messaging Professional Women/Women That Make More Money Than I?
Posted: 5/27/2008 11:14:05 AM | "(Oh, and boys, a woman can't a golddigger if she has her own money.)"
She can still be one, any woman regardless of how much she makes who demands her potential spouse make X amount of money so he help her finance a certain lifestyle (like going on exotic vacations and buying fancy designer clothes or buying expensive cars) is a goldiggger. She's got her own money why does she care how much her spouse makes as long as he is not mooching off of her? If it's really that much of an issue for her she's clearly only thinking of herself I also know several women who don't have high paying jobs yet they want a man who does. how is that not a goldigger? Any woman. can have their OWN money a woman making minimum wage at Target has her OWN money | |
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| Should I Avoid Messaging Professional Women/Women That Make More Money Than I?
Posted: 5/27/2008 11:33:03 AM | now a days women are looking for men who can handle there own life bills and have there own money and they think if you are not high on the ladder then you have nothing, but those that do not show are the good guys and i would take a chance on, because you never know what someone has until you date them and find out about them..... and sometime you might be fooled,,,,,,  | |
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| Should I Avoid Messaging Professional Women/Women That Make More Money Than I?
Posted: 5/27/2008 11:54:36 AM |
That being said, should I not message a woman who is, say a corporate trainer or a research analyst, or a person with some other fancy title?
I learned a long time ago from a very attractive woman and white collar business woman. She said never say no for someone. Ask them and let them say yes or no. She might say yes, and at the very worst she might say no. You already said no for her so it can't be any worse.
I own a blue collar business and I worked for many years as a blue collar worker. I dated many white collar women that were goal oriented and they looked up more to me than they did male white collar workers. There were plenty that looked down on me to, but they wouldn't be my type then, OH WELL
It seems to me you need to change your outlook on yourself. How can you expect some one else to think your good enough for them if you don't think your a good enough for them. I would say if your going to have issues with a woman that makes more money than you, than move one to someone else and leave women like her for guys like me.
I am good enough, I am smart enough, and gosh darn it people like me! | |
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Nic36
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Joined: 5/21/2008
Msg: 119 | |
| Should I Avoid Messaging Professional Women/Women That Make More Money Than I?
Posted: 5/27/2008 1:05:36 PM |
She can still be one, any woman regardless of how much she makes who demands her potential spouse make X amount of money so he help her finance a certain lifestyle (like going on exotic vacations and buying fancy designer clothes or buying expensive cars) is a goldiggger. She's got her own money why does she care how much her spouse makes as long as he is not mooching off of her? If it's really that much of an issue for her she's clearly only thinking of herself I also know several women who don't have high paying jobs yet they want a man who does. how is that not a goldigger? Any woman. can have their OWN money a woman making minimum wage at Target has her OWN money
The problem is that any woman who doesn't want to date poverty stricken men up to their ears in debt is automatically labeled a "golddigger," no matter what she brings to the table financially.
You are merging three different things above -- the woman who deliberately associates with a wealthier man in order to extract his money from him (the real golddiggers), the woman who wants a man who has achieved a similar level of success as she (for many possible reasons) and the woman who enjoys traditional roles and relationships where she expects the man to be the breadwinner and provider.
And yet the same men who throw this word around **** and complain that women are too independent and don't need them any more. Well, if a man wants a traditional relationship with a non-independent woman... he's just labeled almost every woman who also wants a traditional relationship a golddigger.
Sounds counterproductive to me. | |
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| Should I Avoid Messaging Professional Women/Women That Make More Money Than I?
Posted: 5/27/2008 5:15:32 PM | "The problem is that any woman who doesn't want to date poverty stricken men up to their ears in debt is automatically labeled a "golddigger," no matter what she brings to the table financially."
Incorrect, Hardly any woman regardless of their income want to date a guy who's broke and up to his ears his debt. by your logic that would mean almost ALLwomen are being labelled as golddiggers. I find that's not the case at all. Don't confuse a deadbeat loser with someone who has a job but doesn't drive a BMW or wear a suit to work.
"You are merging three different things above -- the woman who deliberately associates with a wealthier man in order to extract his money from him (the real golddiggers), the woman who wants a man who has achieved a similar level of success as she (for many possible reasons) and the woman who enjoys traditional roles and relationships where she expects the man to be the breadwinner and provider."
All 3 are after the same thing wealth and status it doesn't matter what their reason is. It's only about what THEY want and how that person can use their wealth and status to benefit them that's it. and a status seeker is no better then a golddigger.
"And yet the same men who throw this word around **** and complain that women are too independent and don't need them any more. Well, if a man wants a traditional relationship with a non-independent woman... he's just labeled almost every woman who also wants a traditional relationship a golddigger. "
I don't know what kind of men you've been hanging around but most of us couldn't care less if a woman is independent. The problem is many self-proclaimed "indeperndent women" are often egocentric and many have a chip on the shoulder It's the women themselves who boast about how they don't need men In many cases when a man wants a woman who is non-independent it's because he is very wealthy of course he's not going to complain that she is a goldigger why would he care? Of course rich men don't complain about goldiggers (some do) but He's well aware she wants him for his money. That still doesn't change the fact that she still is a golddigger and if he didnt have his wealth and status she wouldn't have given him a second look.
Very simple test to see if you are a goldigger you have to honstly look inside yourself and ask
if he didnt have his wealth and status (in other words he didnt have a prestigous career and drive a fancy car do not confuse that with being poverty stricken)
would I still want to be with him? | |
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Nic36
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Joined: 5/21/2008
Msg: 122 | |
| Should I Avoid Messaging Professional Women/Women That Make More Money Than I?
Posted: 5/27/2008 5:49:02 PM |
"You are merging three different things above -- the woman who deliberately associates with a wealthier man in order to extract his money from him (the real golddiggers), the woman who wants a man who has achieved a similar level of success as she (for many possible reasons) and the woman who enjoys traditional roles and relationships where she expects the man to be the breadwinner and provider."
All 3 are after the same thing wealth and status it doesn't matter what their reason is. It's only about what THEY want and how that person can use their wealth and status to benefit them that's it. and a status seeker is no better then a golddigger.
I suspect I am reacting in a large part that nearly every single thread on this forum some guy has to get his boxers in a wad and go off the deep end saying all women are golddiggers.
Nonetheless I still can't wrap my head around your assertion that any woman who gives any thought at all to a mate's social or financial status is a golddigger. I can think of plenty of reasons why a woman would find that a concern, and the vast majority of them do not involve trips to Tahiti or Kate Spade purses. They involve things like, "If we have children and I need to stay at home to take care of them for a few months, would we have enough income to feed them and get them medical care?"
If a woman is a high level executive (for example) and wants a partner who shares her work ethic and goals, I don't see how that is different from someone wanting a partner who shares their religious views, political views, or any number of other criteria people feel they need for long term compatibility. For some people these things will matter, for others it will not. Some folks really will be golddiggers and religious bigots, but most of them will not. | |
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| Should I Avoid Messaging Professional Women/Women That Make More Money Than I?
Posted: 5/27/2008 7:06:17 PM |
But on the other hand, I don't want to stereotype or assume anything about people.
Then why the heck did you start this thread in the first place, which does EXACTLY that?
Hopefully 5 pages of replies has shown you that some will consider your job a problem, and some won't. In other words - yeah, don't stereotype - and don't say you don't want to at the same time that you are. 
I have never been wealthy nor was I born into a wealthy family. I did attend college, but didn't finish.
What does that have to do with anything at all? Yeah, it might make it easier to attend college, but there are LOTS who attended (and finished) without any "wealth" to avail themselves of - so don't use that as an excuse, because it isn't a very good one.
Maybe it's insecurity? Maybe I feel as if people like that, male or female, look down on folks like me?
Yep, I think that's exactly what it is. There's nothing wrong with blue-collar. We certainly couldn't function without them. My plumber is "blue collar" but he's really necessary, and he may well make more than I do in my white collar job.
However, it's pretty much a dead-end job, and I am trying to get out of there.
Good for you - if you recognize its a dead-end job and are truly working to get out of it, then it shows ambition, which is much more important than the job you're in at the moment. On the other hand, to be blunt and brutal - if in 10 years you're STILL a warehouse worker, than that would show a complete LACK of ambition, and that's a whole different issue than being a blue collar worker. | |
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| Should I Avoid Messaging Professional Women/Women That Make More Money Than I?
Posted: 5/27/2008 8:09:17 PM | Nonetheless I still can't wrap my head around your assertion that any woman who gives any thought at all to a mate's social or financial status is a golddigger. I can think of plenty of reasons why a woman would find that a concern, and the vast majority of them do not involve trips to Tahiti or Kate Spade purses. They involve things like, "If we have children and I need to stay at home to take care of them for a few months, would we have enough income to feed them and get them medical care?"
You can't wrap your head around it That wasn't my assertion. Yes a woman should take in account a man's financial stability. if he's a deadbeat and can't make ends meet I understand why he would be dismissed but if he's working a full time job and he's not drowning in a sea of debt and he's able to pay the bills and buy groiceries and once in a while do something fun without it being a drain on his finances I don't see what the problem is Normally a couple has a plan on how they are going to make ends meet before they decide to have children no? for a while you may up to give up some luxaries you took for granted before you had children Isn't that what marriage and family are sometimes about? I admit it's a perfectly valid concern and I do agree to an extent but unless he's a deadbeat it shouldnt be an issue especially if its only for a few months I suppose it would be more of an issue with Americans since you don't have universal healthcare. (and I'm not saying that to be condesending)
"If a woman is a high level executive (for example) and wants a partner who shares her work ethic and goals, I don't see how that is different from someone wanting a partner who shares their religious views, political views, or any number of other criteria people feel they need for long term compatibility. For some people these things will matter, for others it will not. Some folks really will be golddiggers and religious bigots, but most of them will not. "
I agree for compatibility reasons however a high level executive could still be compatible in many ways with someone who doesn't have a job that is as presigous but still believes in a good work ethic. just because they're job may not be as prestigous or they don't make as much money doesn't mean they are not a hard worker. It could simply mean they went into a field that doesn't pay as well as the field you're in. | |
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Nic36
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Joined: 5/21/2008
Msg: 125 | |
| Should I Avoid Messaging Professional Women/Women That Make More Money Than I?
Posted: 5/27/2008 8:56:33 PM |
That wasn't my assertion.
Well, it sounded like it to me when you said:
" ...the woman who wants a man who has achieved a similar level of success as she (for many possible reasons)..."
All 3 are after the same thing wealth and status it doesn't matter what their reason is. It's only about what THEY want and how that person can use their wealth and status to benefit them that's it. and a status seeker is no better then a golddigger.
I agree for compatibility reasons however a high level executive could still be compatible in many ways with someone who doesn't have a job that is as presigous but still believes in a good work ethic. just because they're job may not be as prestigous or they don't make as much money doesn't mean they are not a hard worker. It could simply mean they went into a field that doesn't pay as well as the field you're in
I agree 100%, and I think it's batty for people to get too hung up about who makes what. But perhaps you understand my confusion when you said a woman is a golddigger for any reason -- and then say compatibility is an okay reason? I can be very literal minded sometimes.
I think we fundamentally agree -- but, personally, I just think this is one of those insults that gets slung around indiscriminately and could use a lot less exercise. | |
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