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Posted: 9/1/2007 4:02:59 AM | | Chelsea, i want you to go to a mirror and look at yourself REALLY look at yourself . Does the person you see before you deserve to be treated this way???? Dont let somebody like this fellow even beguile you into thinking he is the key to your happiness, HE IS NOT. Trust me i am talking from experience, except in my situation theres not one child but three, and yes i wanted to believe in a fairytale family and ending but what he is saying to you is just words and nothing more, sure they make you feel good for a while BUT then comes the crash. Get off that roller coaster, your a beautiful young woman and soon to be mum and direct all that love you have been waisting on this immature walking erection and focus on the love of your baby. Trust me you will soon be rewarded for not settling for trash and a wonderful man will come along and treat you with the respect and love that you and your new baby truely DO DESERVE. As for your friend, she just sounds like a insecure competitor and is probably just as bigger player as your hopefully soon to be EX. Remember when one door closes another always opens. Enjoy your baby, thats really where the love is darl. | |
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Posted: 9/1/2007 4:38:04 AM | | I am so sorry you are having to go through this. You should not let yourself get stressed out and confussed over it. Even though you love him (or think you love him)., people that truely loves us do not treat us that way. I had a baby on my own, father not around, and everything turned out fine. It will for you too. You need just focus on the baby and yourself. You do not need him...it will just bring more heartheache!! Also think about....is this the type of man you want to be your baby's father? Even though he can have sex and make a baby does not make him a father!! Be strong!! you deserve so much better!! Your right Man and a man who can be a father to your child will show up one day!! ((hug)) Jen | |
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Posted: 9/1/2007 5:12:37 AM | Tell yourself you deserve better than this. Get away from him. Ask yourself what it is that you love about him. Do you want having a man that you cannot depend on to be there for you and your baby? Do you want a man like this to be a role model for your baby? You will not be able to trust him. Set limitations for yourself and what you want out of a relationship and when your limitations are not met move on. Instead of thinking about him. Think about how to improve your expectations of what you want out of a relationship. Read inspirational books. Some I would suggest is "Women who Love Too Much", "Life Strategies", any books on improving your self-esteem and addictive patterns. You need to learn how to break cycles like this from occurring in your life. Also, find older, moralistic mentors that you can talk with and that can give you new perspectives on how to approach your life.
Secondly, AND MORE IMPORTANTLY, you have to start make decisions for this baby. Do you want to make this man accountable for child support and letting him also take responsibility for this baby? Do you want to try to do it on your own. Regardless of the fact that, hopefully, you will not be with him, he legally can pursue partial custody of this child. Who knows what action he will take once this baby is born. You need to be thinking about How to improve your life and How you are going to manage having this child in your life. Good Luck to you. | |
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| so confused! Help! CSEA
Posted: 9/1/2007 6:29:22 AM | CSEA, Child Support Enforcement Agency!!
CASH cures all of those "I am DATING other women" troubles you are having. Just hit him & HIT HIM HARD IN THE WALLET & he will have to have HER pay for the dates!!
That will teach all of these "SLAM SHADY's" to not "hit it & quit it"
heh
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Posted: 9/1/2007 6:37:33 AM | Jiepie said:
"here are the hints: he cheats, lies, sleeps with other woman, has no spine, cries!! he got you pragnent and doesn't marry you, irresponsible, wear baseball cap backward, high school drop out."
As I call those "tribal armband tatoo" wearing MORONS who start every sentence with "Yo Dog" & call every woman a "****" as in "My ****...Yo ****, sup ****" kind of dipshitz. I call them "SLAM SHADY".
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Posted: 9/1/2007 6:41:06 AM | i cant tell you to trust him because thats a choice you have to make
however
you need to be with someone that will treat you right and respect you and your child....if you know he has anger issues then chances are your child will be put in the middle of it all and something terrible may happen...i know what you are going through minus the anger issues... he is 19 and has no damn clue as to what he wants and even when he gets older he wont know what he truly wants....most men never figure that part out til their 30's or later
as far as taking the baby he has to prove you are an unfit mother and everything seeing as ya'll werent married so he really dont have a leg to stand on in that department...
the best thing ya'll can do is let each other go because you dont want the baby to end up getting hurt and for that matter you dont want to get hurt either and hes already emotionally abusing you so theres no telling what else he is capable of
you have to look out not only for yourself but now for your child as well
if ya'll figure out a way to work it out then thats great but just let him go .... its not worth the stress you are putting yourself through
good luck | |
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Posted: 9/1/2007 10:04:10 PM |
CSEA, Child Support Enforcement Agency!!
CASH cures all of those "I am DATING other women" troubles you are having. Just hit him & HIT HIM HARD IN THE WALLET & he will have to have HER pay for the dates!
what is that? is it like maitence enforcement? | |
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Posted: 9/1/2007 10:31:53 PM | Great.........just great. Another child having a child.
I sure hope the OP has MATURE people in her life to help her raise the baby.
Profile says she is a smoker. Hope she gave it up for the baby. | |
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Posted: 9/2/2007 4:38:22 PM | This guy is a total dink and is not worth your time. The only thing you should be worrying about right now is getting a court order so that he pony's up on child support and visits his child. Thats not about his rights, its about the childs right to know the father and draw thier own conclusions.
Sorry if this is harsh but its reality. | |
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Posted: 9/2/2007 6:38:49 PM | Naughtical
why is it that just because of my age, that you must dictate and call me a child. You don't know who i am, or anything, you just stereotype me and say that i am still a child. I am able to make my own decisions, and as far as i know i don't need to wear pull ups anymore, I'm a big girl
Just because i am 19 and having a child does not make me immature, you cant judge someone just because of their age, and i would like to point out that was rude. There are a lot of women who have children at younger ages and they are doing just fine. For someone that doesn't like rude people you sure do like to be rude yourself. I really hope that you will learn to accept that women are having children at younger ages now, and we are doing it just fine. This is not the 1960's anymore, women are starting to have children on their own. If this comes off as rude I'm sorry but i am speaking my opinion here. I hope you have a good day. | |
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Posted: 9/2/2007 8:48:06 PM | | ChelseaBaby, you may not be a child, but your actions are immature at best, if you're a adult like you say you are, why would you be posting a question like this? no | |
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Posted: 9/2/2007 9:08:46 PM | I do not fight with children.....but I will address your post, directed to me.
Just because i am 19 and having a child does not make me immature
I agree with that........what indicated to me that you were immature was your ramblings in your opening post.
and as far as i know i don't need to wear pull ups anymore
that would now be like shutting the barn door after the horse got out.
This is not the 1960's anymore
birth control education and FREE birth contol was not available then, as it is now. There is hardly any excuse at all for an unwanted/unplanned pregnancy these days. There are NOT more young girls having babies than before.
Chelsea, I am not judging you. I simply don't understand you. All I know about you is what you, yourself revealed. You were careless and got yourself pregnant and now you are on here whining about it. Not only that......you are trying to find a man at a time when all your thoughts and energy should be focused on the baby you are carrying.
As long as you have already classified me as rude let me say this........the pictures of you pregnant on a dating site are very distasteful.
Now........about the smoking, have you quit? | |
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Posted: 9/4/2007 6:41:27 AM |
As long as you have already classified me as rude let me say this........the pictures of you pregnant on a dating site are very distasteful.
I have to admit something that has been going around the "SLAM SHADY" ranks, seems the local "SLAM SHADY" types actually HUNT the pregnant Women down for sex simply because "you cant knock em up!!!"
When I heard that 1 I was shocked.... then after thinking about it... It IS true I guess.
Oh, For the Lady who asked:
"CSEA" means Child Support Enforcement Agency.
It's how Women get SLAM SHADY's to help pay their share of Child rearing expenses!!
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Posted: 9/4/2007 12:59:31 PM |
If you really must know i was on birth control, and we also used a condom, you know there are incidents where neither work,
shows how well you read, if you have read my previous statements you would have seen that i was on birth control. I think you should learn to read everything before you criticize people. And first of all, i wasn't whining, there is nothing wrong with asking for some advice. Think what you want of me, it doesn't bother me. There are people in this world, like you that are going to criticize me for my decisions. I fell sorry for you because it makes you seem grouchy, but i wish you the best of luck and happiness in the future. | |
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Posted: 9/4/2007 1:47:35 PM | Let me see if I can sum up your opening post:
1. You're 19 and pregnant. (not unusual)
3. The father of your baby has anger and issue problems, for that you broke it off with him but continued "fooling around" with him.
4. He is 19 and has a 32 year old girlfriend with 4 kids. He loves you, he loves her, he loves you, he loves her. (he f's you, he f's her, he f's you, he f's her).
5. He cheated on her but not you. (?)
6. He is a poet and songwriter and shares his talent with both of you.
7. You still want to be with an abusive man who has threatened to take your baby away from you.
You are right Chelsea......I did not read every post on here and I don't intend to....what you said in the beginning tells me all I need to know:
You are young and immature and are having a baby who doesn't stand a chance in hell. You smoked during your pregnancy and I am sure you will continue to smoke in front of the baby. You want a man who you say has anger and temper issues back to play the role of daddy. Why? Do you care nothing at all for the child you are carrying? I smell child abuse in the future.
And I still think those pictures of you posing while pregnant are ridiculous looking. Do you think you look sexy in them? | |
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Posted: 9/4/2007 4:44:27 PM | I have a very different tale to tell. My woman left me about 3 weeks ago. She has done this to me in the past (2 times before) and after some time apart she realized that she does love me and wants us together. I have a very bad feeling that she will NOT return this time. Our biggest problem is that she will not talk to me and tell me how she feels. She keeps everything bottled up inside her until it is too much to handle and she runs away. Running away is how she has faced all her problems in her life. I thought that after the last time she ran away that we talked and she realized that running away did not help it only made matters worse. Obviously she did not because she ran away again. There is a very long and complicated story behind all of this which I do not have time to say now.
How do you show a woman your love for her when you have done so every way you can think of? How do you get someone to talk to you when all they say when you try to talk to them is that nothing is wrong. There is so much more to tell here. She, as far as I can tell suffers from depression due to the fact that she was abused physically and sexually by every other man in her life including her father except for me. I have suggested her getting help (professional help) with myself going with her. That just caused an argument between us. She knows I love her but still thinks I will treat her as others have done in her past.
My question??? How do I get her to start talking to me about what is bothering her?
I am at a loss!
Tony | |
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Posted: 9/4/2007 5:26:49 PM | Yogi......even though I think this thread is a joke, it is Chelsea's thread. It is all about her (as I am sure she wants everything to be).
If you want to start your own self-pity thread go to:
Forums
Home
Broken Hearts
New Thread
Tell your story there........then wait for the replies. There will be sympathy, ridicule, concern, jokes, sincere and insincere replies. If you can't take it......don't ask for it.
I do wish you luck. | |
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Posted: 9/11/2007 10:40:03 AM | Tony don't listen to Naughtical, shes just got a bug up her butt.
Someone must have really done her wrong in order for her to be so bitter.
Obviously your woman doesn't know what she wants, i think she keeps coming back because she knows you will take her back, i think that you honestly should move on and find a better woman. One that wont run away all the time. You can tell someone they need help, because they will just get defensive they have to want to go and get the help themselves. | |
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Posted: 9/12/2007 2:53:43 AM | ChelseaBaby, I am glad you are still posting.
What steps have you taken to continue your education?
What support do you have around you right now?
If you have any questions about motherhood or if anything is concerning you, contact me, you have some strong friends here - and you have shown real courage in reaching out - good for you, keep a strong thing going. Nineteen year old mums have a harder time in many ways, your own body is still growing - so I hope you are keeping up your own Calcium needs.
Be very aware also, not singleing you out - because I don't know you personally, but the literature suggests mums in your age group can be a bit more prone to getting frustrated. Probably because lack of sleep brings out the worst in all of us, but age makes you a little more patient. So be on the lookout for yourself, keep a journal, be aware of your feelings and find some experienced mums at playgroup to help you keep an even keel - because you are going to need them.
Older women - always have advice, always well meant- smile and say thankyou to all the ideas and suggestions and regard all of them as items on the supermarket shelf, but you are the one with the trolley. Keep open all the lines of communication that you can with successful and coping women, if you see a woman who has it together- be proactive in striking up a conversation. Ask lots and lots of questions!
Be aware that looking after your rest needs is the same as taking care of Baby, and make sure you take multivitamins as well. There are breastfeeding organisations who can help you with breastfeeding queries and never take no or a put off for an answer if you need help! Mums don't get militant for nothing - sometimes you really do have to put your foot down to get the help you need.
Emotionally, find yourself a good healthy group of friends, technical college, play group, church group, voluntary group - all good places to start. Voluntary work such as Salvation army or St. Vincent de Paul - will also be not only networking - but a start on your resume too.
Keep in touch! | |
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Posted: 9/12/2007 11:43:28 AM | | People usually do not change after the age of 8. They are as: violence prone or gentle, honest or dishonest, etc, as they will ever be by age 8 usually...by age 12 for the slow types. If your guy is over the age of 12, he will never change as yoou would need him to. He will remain violent, abusive, etc, all his life long. If you still want him, you are too psychotic to be worth talking to. | |
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Posted: 9/12/2007 2:07:57 PM | QUICKSILVER217
Thank you for asking, i currently do correspondence at home, and i am working on my animal science degree, my mother has her degree as well. In the spring time, i am going to work with my brother and grandfather in the heavy machinery industry. I have my entire family being supportive, but they dont bail me out, i have to live and learn as they say. I am proud that i am doing this actually my self, and bettering my education. Most of my friends, well they are older are pregnant, or they have children, i have actually started making friends with elder people and ones with families. Though most of my friends ditched me now because im not a "bar star" anymore. Thank you for your concern and help, it is well appreciated. | |
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Posted: 9/13/2007 4:19:06 PM |
And I still think those pictures of you posing while pregnant are ridiculous looking. Do you think you look sexy in them?
Oh, thaaaats great-a FEmale...
a 'sister'
a fellow WOman
telling anOther that 'pregnant pictures' are 'disgusting/ridiculous/NOT sexy'
?
First of all Chelsea, you ARE pregnant (still?)
SOooo, what the HE11 'other kinda' pictures would one expect?!
(sheeesh)
Secondly, you look just CUTE as can BE in yer pics darlin!
It is good for you (and yer Baby) that you do Not listen to/take to heart
ANY of the rude,negative,UnKind words that are written here.
Stay STRONG, ~know~ that...
there are Many WOmen that have children at a 'young' age
(i use the ''s for 'young' because...it really wasnt long ago that folks partnered up,had families at even youngER ages)
And, the Mother,Child do just FINE
Always put your child FIRST in All of your decisions, you shall both be perfectly capable of being a Happy Family
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Posted: 9/13/2007 5:54:18 PM | This thread still here??? The one about the pregnant teenager who doesn't mind a man going back and forth with her and another woman....because he only cheated on the other woman? Yeah, I remember this. He has anger issues and she says she is confused and doesn't know if she should let him back in her life (which will soon be her and her baby's life). How can that be confusing? How can letting a man with "anger issues" (her words) back in her life when she is expecting a baby even be something to consider? Why would she think he would change.....and not continue to see the other woman....or others? Is his "anger issues" going to magically disappear?
Am I missing something here?
No......I did not read ALL the posts. I am going by her original post. I don't understand all the sympathy she is getting. She is willing to expose her baby to danger and so many people are going......"ohhhh, you pooooor baby".
ChelseaBABY.......you already called me a bitter old woman who had a bug crawl up her ass.........and that's alright, think what you will. What I am.....is a mother and a grandmother who is very sad and concerned about the baby you are bringing into the world. Your line of thinking is not rational........not at all. | |
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Posted: 9/14/2007 11:12:02 PM | Yes this thread is still here,
what i don't get is you obviously don't like reading anything here, so why do you keep coming back? If you don't like this thread, no one is forcing you to come and read everything, just ignore this thread then, pretend it doesn't exist. | |
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