| What attracts men the most on women's profiles?
Posted: 8/5/2007 10:02:03 PM | Note to Bill:
When I got home this afternoon, I had ten emails. But Bill...they were all from really boring guys! And three of them were in their SEVENTIES! I am sorry, Bill. I cannot go there. My profile blurb apparently appealed to the dead fish crowd. (previous readers of my posts will know where I am going there......)
So I have changed my profile back to ....well, to ...."me". I know it means I'll get the pervs and the wierdo's ....but also maybe I'll get someone who can see "me" in the profile. And hey, lets be honest. We dont really want to attract people who are not looking for "us" anyway, do we? So. I'll keep my fourth grader hair, my irreverence, my lightheartedness, and deal with things as they come. :-)
Thanks for all the input! xoxoxoxo
Bethlet
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| What attracts men the most on women's profiles?
Posted: 8/5/2007 11:01:36 PM | Bethlet, I didn't read all the posts on this thread so hope I am not repeating what somebody else said. I think the written part of your profile is great but you should exchange your main profile pic with the one of you in the pink and white striped shirt. The main profile picture gives people an idea of what kind of a relationship a person wants. If your main picture shows cleavage guys are not going to see you as LTR material. You'll be hearing from the pervs instead.
I think you should keep the flirty pictures; they show that you aren't boring, just don't have them on the first page. | |
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| lookinbill
Posted: 8/5/2007 11:34:40 PM | lookinbill....WOW!! Well said! I've had advice/review profile forums on here and I gotta tell ya..that you've said everything I've tried to 'nicely' explain to people! I love the flat out, blunt honesty that EVERYONE looks for on or off a dating site! You've nailed EVERYTHING I've always tried to subtley express to people in my forums..GOOD FOR YOU!! Love it! L
****P.S..... Sorry to any women/or otherwise, who may disagree with my firm standing to 'lookingbill's' post. As we all know he's absolutley right! It is a 'hunt', and we're ALL involved..reguardless of the terms and whether or not we like them! Think about it now..it's what keeps up going and what else would we have to talk about!? | |
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| bethlet
Posted: 8/6/2007 12:03:53 AM | bethlet...
It seems to me that you've been burnt before! (sorry) However, sadly enough, it'll keep happening as long as you let it! If you don't want 'seventies' men writing you, then adjust the age group settings to your mail! Also, if I may, in your profile (which I read) you give too much of yourself....as far as the little things are concerned. You're, in a sense, (without realizing it) telling men that you 'need' them around for the little things that anyone can handle! Men, nowadays anyway, want/like women to be more self-sufficient..gas up the lawnmower yourself..kinda thing! Men like self sufficient women yet they also like the lighthearted, old fashioned woman you're trying to convey yourself to be on here! Try telling them more about WHO you are rather than what you're not willing to be capable of. Let all the 'little' things come about as time progresses...L | |
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| bethlet
Posted: 8/6/2007 12:26:04 AM | lolla...
This is a revised profile that I wrote based on all the input that was received in this forum today. I CAREFULLY orchestrated my profile to read precisely the way I wanted it to read, based on the male input on this and other related boards today. I asked for exactly what I wanted. I wrote it in such a way to use words that were buttons ....the word "need" for instance, versus "want". The addition of the "little things". It was all very deliberate. I know exactly what sort of man I want, and I now know how to attract him on the net. :-)  If he is out there, he WILL respond to THIS profile and THESE pictures.
My dear....by age 56, I would assume damn near everyone in the WORLD has been "burnt" at least once. :-) Only a cold hearted snake would have made it this far without ever having reached out to touch flame....but burning is not a concern any longer, and my profile does not indicate insecurity - on the contrary, I wrote it to convey exactly what I wanted it to convey. And I can see that I was successful, because you read it precisely the way I wanted it to be read.  Thanks for the validation!
P.S. My ages were filtered earlier today - several men then wrote that they were upset that I was "only looking for younger men". HAHAHAHAHHA. So I opened it up. It is better to use the delete feature than it is to screen too heavily is the general concensus....and I agreed with that concensus enough to change my filters. :-)
Last but not least, I learned that you can please ALL of the people SOME of the time, and SOME of the people ALL of the time....but you cannot please ALL of the people ALL of the time. So I'm going directly for a specific target audience at this point.
If a man reads my profile and does not like the way it is written or does not find they are attracted to the pictures? Then it is because I did not choose to target that particular man. The type of man I want will respond to my profile. Of that I am, after this forum, sure.
Thanks for your input! Everyone!
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j4t2ou
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Joined: 2/4/2007
Msg: 106 | |
| bethlet
Posted: 8/6/2007 12:51:03 AM | bucsgirl, love the insane profile. Wonder if it worked because you live in Asylum?
In response to the original question, bucsgirl's profile is of interest because it shows personality and intelligence. It tells me she would probably be fun to spend time with.
That's what I am interested in learning when reading a profile. Who are you and what makes you interesting. Give me some things to work with so we can have a conversation if we ever meet. Tell me some things that will let me know whether I could spend time with you. Is your idea of a great day trolling the malls looking in the windows? Or, is your idea of a great day a day of river rafting and camping?
WRT your photos, I think the photos are good. Your profile says you are a comptroller, which I am pretty sure means you are an accountant. Your photos then tell me you are probably not an uptight accountant so you are probably fun to be around.
Finally, I look at photos like everyone else. I am first interested in your face and smile. Then I want have an idea of your physique. I just want to know where you fit in the bone rack to obese spectrum. After that, it is your profile that would determine whether I am interested in contacting you. | |
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| bethlet
Posted: 8/7/2007 9:57:28 AM | It's interesting the comments, especially from men, regarding the importance of a picture in a woman's profile. After all, digital cameras are cheap, and it's a simple matter to download (or is it upload?) a picture into a profile. The thought on the viewers part might be no pic equals something to hide?
But how about a man's profile without a pic? Well I've noticed many women's profiles that say don't contact me without a pic. I doubt that there is a gender difference when it comes to a pic in a profile. Both sexes want a look at whom they're emailing. Isn't it basic human nature to want to see what a person looks like. Without a pic, it's like talking to a black curtain with the dim outline of someone behind it.
However, I have a male friend on this forum who hasn't added a pic to his. He is at least 75 pound over weight and maybe more. He is also very bald too. However, he is able to attract a lot of women mainly due to his friendly and humorous personality. Of course, he realizes that eventually the woman will know what he looks like when they meet. Sometimes he never meets them, since they insist on a pic at the outset of any social interaction.
For me, when I see a profile without a pic but it seems interesting and meets four conditions, I ask for one. The conditions are:
1. Not overweight or a few extra pounds
2. Doesn't want to ride motorcycles
3. Isn't ultra religious
4. Doesn't smoke
I can even relax the requirement on number four, since I have met some wonderful women who smoke!
The Eagle | |
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| What attracts men the most on women's profiles?
Posted: 8/9/2007 7:22:03 PM |
I have to tell you the majority are so boring they can make paint fall off the walls
Aint that the truth, try harder girls... or all your gonna get is sleazy guys msg'n you...
and if more of you replied more maybe you'd also find some real decent guys after a few exchanged messages
Iv met some very good friends on this site but never anybody really gf material i must admit...
Are there actually any women in Portsmouth area good enough??
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| What attracts men the most on women's profiles?
Posted: 8/12/2007 1:14:34 PM | Hi Bethlet,
I think the pictures are fine. Even the pigtails one. I kinda get that. Of course there are people that think I'm nutty so I may not be the one to judge this.
I think the list of adjectives for the man you are looking for is waaaay too long. Pick a few of the most important ones and let the other ones go. It made for a hard on the eyes read (I was trying to think like the visual creatures known as man).
I think overall your profile reads a bit on the intimidating side.
I would start out with something like "let's meet for coffee at 8a.m. I'm an earlybird."
Good luck, Sherry | |
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| What attracts men the most on women's profiles?
Posted: 8/12/2007 2:49:30 PM | | When I was looking, it was how another person expressed themselves that attracted me the most, almost as if you could hear them speaking with their own words in their own voice, and if I could relate to them at all. The forums helped immensely in this if they are active, and sometimes really brought their character out, expressing their beliefs on a variety of subjects, and foremost, how they treated others, especially strangers. Often, their words inspired me to respond by simply saying hello, expressing what I enjoyed about what they had to say and how I felt about some of the topics at hand, and add my own two cents to the forums as well. And yes, pictures, are simply another way of expressing yourself. | |
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| What attracts men the most on women's profiles?
Posted: 8/12/2007 4:15:07 PM | "I think overall your profile reads a bit on the intimidating side."
Well, first of all, I have changed my profile no less than five times since this thread was initially begun....so this is a new version. LOLOL...however....
"INTIMIDATING"
OMG, do NOT go there. We have already established, in a more than 37 page post no less, that was totally deleted by the forum powers that be, that men are NOT intimidated by women. In fact, many of us got banned for several days by even intimating that intimidation might be a valid thing....LOL.
So no. My profile is not the least bit intimidating. Please pick another word. ****y. Pissy. Bitter. Evil. Wicked. Horrendous. Whacked. Anything but intimidating!
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| What attracts men the most on women's profiles?
Posted: 8/12/2007 5:57:18 PM | I just read one that said "I'm open minded" and in the very next sentence said "You must not be short or overweight."
While I recognize that everyone has preferences, that made me giggle. | |
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| What attracts men the most on women's profiles?
Posted: 8/12/2007 6:05:54 PM | ok.... verbose, huge words, too many adjectives
I don't know the thread you refer to but most people read at a sixth or seventh grade level. Also, if the clicking in and out of profiles is like the clicking on the TV remote... well you get my drift.
LOL, just my 2 cents
Sherry | |
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| What attracts men the most on women's profiles?
Posted: 8/12/2007 6:07:39 PM | Hmm.... maybe I should use bigger words in MY profile... I want someone who has higher than a 6th or 7th grade reading level.
"I cannot live without books." (This reference is only worth 1 point because a lot of people like history....) | |
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| What attracts men the most on women's profiles?
Posted: 8/12/2007 6:58:11 PM | But Emily!
I do not WANT someone who reads at a sixth or seventh grade level! My GOD. I want someone who reads at a COLLEGE OR ABOVE level.
So...huge words, lol..is what I want. And verbose? Hm.....I think its less than four paragraphs, isn't it? I think what you were looking for is "runon sentence structure." HAHAHHAHAAHHA
But you are right. I'll go in and cut out a few words. Maybe. :-) Hell. I'm 56. No one reads it anyway! :-P
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| What attracts men the most on women's profiles?
Posted: 8/12/2007 7:15:01 PM | well, personally, i wouldn't list so many 'interest's as you have
you know, they're all pretty generic, and everybody has interests
part of the fun would be to discover what the other persons interests are.
I think your pics are great...no prob there....
and yet , it is hard to write it down...about ourselves...got to strike that balance between just the right amount of info. and waay too much info.
personally, if a woman looks like she cares enough about herself to keep reasonably fit...and there is 'humor' there.....that's waaaay more interesting than a woman describing what she 'wants', or 'wont' deal with. I mean, stay open folks. sheeesh.
and, I may be the odd man out here...but I can't imagine anyone going through all of this back and forth and typing and emailing to look for 'sex'. I must be missing something. I thought that was something you do in person...up close and personal...you know...with a 'live' human.....haha
cheers,
````````````````````akimmbo~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ | |
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| What attracts men the most on women's profiles?
Posted: 8/12/2007 8:56:03 PM | | Well from what I have observed is that men are attracted to 1 of 2 things. Either if the profile looks like you are easy. Half naked pics etc. Or if you look like a impossible challenge. I get tons of emails even though my profile states I come on here now for the forums ONLY and I am pregnant and not looking.. I get more responses now then I did when I was actually looking. Confusing? Yeah I know. lol | |
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| What attracts men the most on women's profiles?
Posted: 8/12/2007 9:46:00 PM | I read all the previous posts, and this is my point of view.
First, I seldom finish profiles with spelling or grammar errors, internet abbreviations or long lists of adjectives or nouns.
Second, I look for some spark of that person, and it is usually just a few words with a slight twist. I see it all the time in the posts, less often when I check the profile of the author.
Third, I could care less what you don't want. I want to know something about who you are so I can decide if I want you. In other words, if your main concern is to screen out men you don't want, I'm only to glad to join them.
Fourth, after a certain length it better be darned entertaining or I will doze off. Leave the whole story for later, just give me the teasers from the back cover.
Fifth, save the cute pictures for your first e-mail in response to mine. I just want to see your eyes and smile. If I wanted to see cleavage I wouldn't be here.
Finally I want to get an inkling of what gets you out of bed in the morning; that will lead me to want to know more.
PS: If you want quantity put the cleavage back in. A shot from the side shows me what you've got in the trunk as well. Plan on replacing the delete key often. | |
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| What attracts men the most on women's profiles?
Posted: 8/13/2007 7:58:10 AM | | Angel, I actually used half naked pics as a disqualifier.... I can't grasp the concept of saying, "I'm looking for 'The One'" and being obviously nude. It seems to me that sort of behavior is using the incorrect lure.... | |
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| What attracts men the most on women's profiles?
Posted: 8/13/2007 8:09:28 AM | bethlet.....I love your profile. I think it show's the real YOU! It's flirty and confident and I like those things. Geez it's better than being some 'serious stick in the mud'.
I could post some sexy pic's just like any other woman on this site, but all I will get is the perverts, so stick by your gun's, and sit back and wait for that special person to pop along and appreciate YOU.  | |
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| What attracts men the most on women's profiles?
Posted: 8/13/2007 8:22:57 AM | Ok -- Bethlet - my two cents...
You're projecting a bit if 'off the wall'- zany sorta thing in the photos. That's Ok - but Phyllis Diller was whole lot of that type of zany and well - Phyllis didn't do anything for me...
If you were even in town - Cowtown - Fort Worth, I'd invite you to a party just for the entertainment value. I've got this cousin Danny - you guys would get along.
All in all your profile is YOU it would seem - but something is missing - not all connected - just not sure what it is.
BTW - say hello to my daughter - she lives in Spokane.
JoeBob | |
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| What attracts men the most on women's profiles?
Posted: 8/13/2007 8:56:59 AM | Bethlet,
Too much garbage in your very long profile. If you want a non-smoker, etc.... all that stuff is covered at the end. Also you are giving a lot of info that, initially at least, no one cares about. i.e. the morning person breakfast statement. My input is to just keep it short, simple and to the point. My experience has been that men want you to get to the point as soon as possible. They are not interested in reading a novel. If things progress, you can always fill them in later. I agree...lose the pigtail pictures. Good luck in your search! | |
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| What attracts men the most on women's profiles?
Posted: 8/13/2007 9:17:14 AM | this thread got me thinkin on tha different ways fellers view our profiles...as advertisements...an with them bein hunters (as lookinbill says) they need ta know what we want and ifn they fit tha bill...(no pun intended)...they dont really seem to be interested in gettin to know us and all our hopes, dreams, kinfolk, blah, blah, blah...through our profiles...that can come later after they meet us....while we womenfolk are usually a bit more laid back about it...some of us are actually just here to have fun an ifn a feller comes out of it...well, thats just serendipity!
...so, i took a long look at my profile an decided i need ta be more careful about what i was usin fer bait! ...
thanks fer tha eye-opener bethel! | |
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