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 msBlaise
Joined: 7/26/2007
Msg: 301
Why are single men caled shallow for not wanting to date single mother's?Page 13 of 25    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25)
Canoe girl and disneymom, both of you two are sooo great.

And I want to be a redhead too!! darn it!!! lol

John, I know you never called me names and the other, but I feel that your attuide hits a core with me, because you are one step away (or there) from holding thoses attiudes -(I can't spell for toffee) that I had previously stated.
It is okay to hold your opinions about things, everyone does. but it seems to be opinions of a rather negative nature, and where you are stereotying people based on a few people 2-8 when we got billions in a world. is a stastic I would not want to base facts on! lol
plus in this Country, the stastics of single are on the increase rather 'alarming' fast, so it could seem that you wouldn't have a choice about dating a single parent in the future.

 *DisneyMom*
Joined: 5/15/2007
Msg: 302
Why are single men caled shallow for not wanting to date single mother's?
Posted: 8/17/2007 11:22:29 AM
Thank you msBlaise.
A pattern Ive noticed with Johne, is when a single mother plays his side he wants to hear, they are "remarkably great", when another questions his judgement and puts the cards out on the table, they are discredited, and again, labeled.
Its honestly a really easy solution to come to: dont date em.
 yankee_belle
Joined: 4/11/2007
Msg: 303
Why are single men caled shallow for not wanting to date single mother's?
Posted: 8/17/2007 11:35:31 AM
Disney,

Maybe that's why he hasn't said I am remarkably great... oh well..... But what should anyone expect from me, right, I'm a single mom and we all know what they're like! Ask Johne, he'll more than tell ya...
 missinghimalready
Joined: 2/7/2006
Msg: 304
Why are single men caled shallow for not wanting to date single mother's?
Posted: 8/17/2007 7:13:53 PM
....going to post a profile on "Sugar Daddies"
 missinghimalready
Joined: 2/7/2006
Msg: 305
Why are single men caled shallow for not wanting to date single mother's?
Posted: 8/17/2007 7:14:02 PM
Anna Nicole is my hero, isn't she who all us single moms are striving to emulate...

Note: this is a joke guys so don't get your undies in a wad...
 Canoe Gal
Joined: 5/5/2006
Msg: 306
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Why are single men caled shallow for not wanting to date single mother's?
Posted: 8/17/2007 7:58:38 PM
Don't let it get you down yankee belle, you're in a "group" with some of the best "single mom's" out there.

Thank you msBlaise.
 wanderbaby
Joined: 9/4/2006
Msg: 307
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Why are single men caled shallow for not wanting to date single mother's?
Posted: 8/18/2007 12:08:29 AM
[quote} I have a few female friends some single moms and those without children, who have a long list of criteria but they themselves could not meet most of the criteria that they have for a potential partner. I have a friend who declared bankrutocy a few moths ago...she insists her next boyfriend have great credit own his own home ect, yet she lives in public housing and is broke...that is my point do not bring to a relationship that which you do not offer yourself. Not everyone owns a home but at least be somewhat stable. I have seen my friend reject men because they rent an apartment or because they do not make enough money...very shallow things. I am not bashing single mother's when I say this so please do not get mad at me but my friend that declared bankruptcy is a single mom and she says that she redfuses to date a single dad because she does not want to be a mother to someone ele's kids and all single father's are looking for a mom for their children. I find that interesting as that is what she brings to a relationship and she expects a man to give her an honest chance and see past her status as a single mom but she will not do the same for a single dad.

I have a friend who does not have kids and she wants any man she dates to make $70,000 per year or more..but she only makes $10 per hour so roughly that is about $18,000 per year. I just find it odd that the criteria these women have is so high..almost no mancould meet it.]

here's a suggestion to drop this subject to death, drop your friends, if they are that shallow, how much of a friend are they to you? do you guys go out and eat, who pays? You right, because as your profile says you're kind and generous. I'm sorry but if I can't respect my friends with the values I have towards friendship and relationship, they aren't much of a friend to respect. And these friends of yours have pretty much given you the stereotype of some single moms to in you're mind you think it's all single moms that are shallow. Please reevaluate your friendship with them and see if there's really any solid grounds to hold that friendship together. It seems they are takers. are they takers in your friendship with them?
 zombie_geek
Joined: 8/12/2007
Msg: 308
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Why are single men caled shallow for not wanting to date single mother's?
Posted: 8/18/2007 12:59:31 AM
(quote) Here is why, In a lot of states and in Cananda if a mom who has a child and the biological father is unknown dates a guy for a "substantial" time and creates a "bond" with the child.....he can end up having to pay child support for a kid THAT ISN'T HIS!!!!! (/quote)
AHEM, SAY WHAT? i never heard of that, and it's a very stupid law if it's true
 Johne102
Joined: 3/1/2006
Msg: 309
Why are single men caled shallow for not wanting to date single mother's?
Posted: 8/20/2007 6:13:24 AM
first to waterbaby: my friends and I will spend time together at each other's homes. They pay their portion of any bill if we go out.

To Disney, yankee and Canoe as well as Ms Blaise:

If you read this thread many (such as yankee and Blaise) feel by choosing not to date single moms I am shallow. Disney feels I should not date them at all.

If someone has legit reasons not to date someone from a certain group why does it make them shallow?

It is well documented I have had tyrouble dating single moms...not all are like that but it is unfortunate some are..plus you have the child support laws in Canada, so let me ask you ladies this: IUf you kept dating men who beat you would you not after a while ewxclude men who had a criminal record or thse with bad tempers from your dating pool?

I do realize in my age range many people have children so it may be difficult to find a woman without children but they are out there. I know a few 36 year olds with children 18 years of age. So I realize I may not date much but the trade off for financial resources is woth it to me.
 *DisneyMom*
Joined: 5/15/2007
Msg: 310
Why are single men caled shallow for not wanting to date single mother's?
Posted: 8/20/2007 7:03:14 AM

Disney feels I should not date them at all.

You seriously pick and choose what parts you want to hear huh? Yes. I did say that, and it is because all you are doing is b.itching and moaning about it. You yourself have given your reasons to avoid them, soooooooo, to make it easy on everyone, just dont date em. There. Problem solved.


IUf you kept dating men who beat you would you not after a while ewxclude men who had a criminal record or thse with bad tempers from your dating pool?

Thats a no brainer.
Obviously you have trouble following your own advice and analogies.
 Canoe Gal
Joined: 5/5/2006
Msg: 311
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Why are single men caled shallow for not wanting to date single mother's?
Posted: 8/20/2007 9:25:57 AM
Johne, go back and read all of your threads again. I haven’t had enough coffee this morning yet to do it myself. You will see that I have specifically stated somewhere in these threads (they’re all starting to blur together) that I have had some bad experiences yet I choose to keep an open mind and accept each male as an individual and NOT group them into any type of stereotype. For the record. My ex-husband was abusive. I found out a few years ago that he did have a record for assault. BUT that is him. That is not every male on the planet. Would I avoid someone because they had a record? I think that would depend on what the charges were and what they had done to improve themselves since the conviction. What were the circumstances? Had they made any changes? Have they done anything to improve themselves or their situation? If they have and they have been clean for quite a while, then why not? They’ve done the work why continue to hold it against them? Screwed up your theory again didn’t I.

I have suggested that you don’t date ANY women for a few months. Your trouble is not the single mom’s. Your trouble is women in general. You allow them to take advantage of you. Some of those women just happen to have children.

If someone does not want to date me because of my personality, that’s okay. I can live with that. Not everyone can handle me. I’m blunt. Not everyone wants to hear the truth such as in your case. I am not intentionally cruel. I’m not their ideal, yet if it’s because they are using an excuse such as the CS laws here in Canada. It’s their loss. My history already shows that it does not appear to apply to every situation. So I will repeat myself again Johne, stop stereotyping. Stop making excuses for your poor judgment and inability to avoid women you allow to use you.
 yankee_belle
Joined: 4/11/2007
Msg: 312
Why are single men caled shallow for not wanting to date single mother's?
Posted: 8/20/2007 9:42:36 AM
Johne,

PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE show me where I wrote that I thought you are shallow. I'd love to see it, which I know I won't. I have said that I feel you WANT me to call you shallow and that I feel that you may believe yourself to be shallow, but are using stereotypes to not have to recognize that, but I have not ever in these threads called you shallow.

I will, however, level this- I think you have some serious issues that need addressed and I think you are closed-minded and dillusional. Feel free to quote me on that- since I actually wrote it- all you want.
 SlideAway82
Joined: 8/13/2007
Msg: 313
Why are single men caled shallow for not wanting to date single mother's?
Posted: 8/20/2007 1:42:30 PM
On your last point I agree, it is completely unnecessary for name calling as it only reduces the debate to a nadir. However I fail to see how else you can describe somebody who refuses to date someone on the basis that they have a child.
Are you seriously suggesting that if you were to meet the most amazing women imaginable, someone who completely takes your breath away, you would not want a relationship with them because they have a child.
If thats the case then all single mothers should breath a sigh of relief as you flee in the opposite direction.
 Canoe Gal
Joined: 5/5/2006
Msg: 314
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Why are single men caled shallow for not wanting to date single mother's?
Posted: 8/20/2007 2:40:15 PM
Stop blaming others for your own errors. It's your own need to "buy off" these women that is getting you into the spot you are in. If you don't want them using you for your money, stop telling everyone about it and stop giving it to them. They can not take advantage of you unless you want them to. Obviously you must want this for what ever reason as you seem to continue to do it. STOP IT.

So I realize I may not date much but the trade off for financial resources is woth it to me.
This is a very cold and lonely statement. I can tell your future will be warm and fuzzy, financially speaking. Have you considered a paid companion? This would protect all your assets. They would be an employee. You would not be subject to CS if they had children. Just a thought.
 Earthen_Angel
Joined: 8/8/2007
Msg: 315
Why are single men caled shallow for not wanting to date single mother's?
Posted: 8/20/2007 2:58:24 PM

Are you seriously suggesting that if you were to meet the most amazing women imaginable, someone who completely takes your breath away, you would not want a relationship with them because they have a child.
If thats the case then all single mothers should breath a sigh of relief as you flee in the opposite direction.


I'm sorry, this just made me laugh -hangs head-

i think i love this man!
 Johne102
Joined: 3/1/2006
Msg: 316
Why are single men caled shallow for not wanting to date single mother's?
Posted: 8/20/2007 5:06:34 PM
yankee you have not cal;led me shallow but you have implied that you think I am shallow.

Canoe: I have stated why I have a fear of dating single mother's based on past experience and current CS laws in Canada. It would make anyone consider if it was worth the risk.
 Canoe Gal
Joined: 5/5/2006
Msg: 317
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Why are single men caled shallow for not wanting to date single mother's?
Posted: 8/20/2007 5:15:40 PM
Johne, I know you have used the law as an excuse. However, I am Canadian. I live in Alberta which is in Canada. My divorce was in Calgary, Alberta which is in Canada. My ex pays NO child support for his step daughter. How can that be if the law says he must? Obviously it is up to the discression of the courts. I know I am not the only single mother in all of Canada who has an ex who is not the bio father of a child. I know that I am not that unique. I am not a fluke. You are scared to death for your finances over a law that may or may not apply to you. I will repeat since you obviously have trouble associating the meaning of the words with what you are reading. It is not the single mothers, it is the women you are choosing. BE PICKY. Stop advertising your bank statement. Stop allowing yourself to be used.
Why are single men caled shallow for not wanting to date single mother's?
Posted: 8/20/2007 5:37:21 PM
The law was tested in the last 18 months... and it is being pursued more and more.. its not automatic.... but as it comes up more and more, it will become tabled as well.
 Johne102
Joined: 3/1/2006
Msg: 319
Why are single men caled shallow for not wanting to date single mother's?
Posted: 8/20/2007 6:41:32 PM
canoe: I live in Ontario. Alberta has a law in effect that does not make step parents automatically liable for cs, Ontario is differant. I know in British Columbia a single oarent can collect child suport from multiple ex's from the same child. My point is that I refuse to put myself in a position to be forced to pay support for a child that is not mine..I do not see this as shallow, I see it as financially sound. I will be open to dating single mom's again after the loco parentis law is changed so it makes more sense.
 Johne102
Joined: 3/1/2006
Msg: 320
Why are single men caled shallow for not wanting to date single mother's?
Posted: 8/20/2007 6:45:19 PM
Another point: fpor some rasonthese single women who happen to be mother's only date me as l;ong as I spend money whern I suggest something cheaper for an activity for a date they move on...so what do you call that? I know what I call those women. To prevent this in the future I have my criteria.
 *DisneyMom*
Joined: 5/15/2007
Msg: 321
Why are single men caled shallow for not wanting to date single mother's?
Posted: 8/20/2007 6:54:49 PM
Canoe, hun, you tried. Some just want to hide behind a label. It masks their stance. I think youve done all you can do. Its time to walk away and spread your knowledable wings to someone who actually LISTENS.
ps, btw, we SOOOOOOOO need a smiley icon with the smiley hitting his head on the computer desk.
 Johne102
Joined: 3/1/2006
Msg: 322
Why are single men caled shallow for not wanting to date single mother's?
Posted: 8/20/2007 6:59:25 PM
I respect Canoe and Disney.
 Canoe Gal
Joined: 5/5/2006
Msg: 323
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Why are single men caled shallow for not wanting to date single mother's?
Posted: 8/20/2007 7:34:03 PM
Okay Johne, say this with me so that we all know that you understand. WOMEN (any woman) who takes advantage of a guy whom they are dating in any financial way is a tramp. Plain and simple. IT MAKES NO DIFFERENCE IF SHE HAS A KID. That's just a coincidence. She is using you for your money. Whether she had children or not...SHE WOULD STILL USE YOU!!! What part of that do you not understand. You let a gold digger know you are a sucker and she will suck you dry. You do understand this do you not? It doesn't matter if she's got kids. She will do it anyway because YOU LET HER. Stop dating for a few months. Get your head on straight. Stop worrying about something that may or may not affect you. Johne you seem like a nice guy but you are a little thick here. If you stop dating gold diggers and start dating women who like you for you, you will be far happier. You should not have to worry about anything until you get to the point where you may or may not decide to make a commitment. That's when you can start to have your melt down. Until then, it's just dating. Leave your wallet at home.

disneymom, you are so right. I am banging my head against my desk in frustration. This is something even my 9 year old son understands. As he would say "apples and oranges equals fruit salad." I'm sorry Johne, I am not calling you a fruit salad.
 Johne102
Joined: 3/1/2006
Msg: 324
Why are single men caled shallow for not wanting to date single mother's?
Posted: 8/20/2007 8:06:40 PM
Canoe: I do agree with you that any woman who uses a man is a tramp...I also agree that not all single mother's are users. One of the many single mom's I dated actually told me it was "in the best interests of her children" that she used me and was trying to get suport from as many men as she could when I asked her why she used men. So now let's say this woman does not show signs of being a gold digger and things look fine for 6-12 months..then suddenly she decides to move on leaving the poor guy to pay support for her kids. I have come across too many of these types of women for my liking. The problem is more with the courts than anything else.

I have also noticed a pattern with some women who just happen to be single moms...they never seem to want to go dutch as the can not afford it. I know not all are like that but I keep meeting ones that are....plus as I said before that insane law needs to be changed or eliminated.
 Johne102
Joined: 3/1/2006
Msg: 325
Why are single men caled shallow for not wanting to date single mother's?
Posted: 8/20/2007 8:08:29 PM
do not bang your head in frustation Canoe...I mostly agree with your points but it is a few that spoil it for many. I wouild rather not find out too late that someone was just after my money.
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