| Why are single men caled shallow for not wanting to date single mother's?
Posted: 9/7/2007 9:52:45 AM | | Why do you take everything to an extreme yankee? When you are just gewtting to know someone you are polite and respectful. As a friendship or relationship develops you care for the other person and kindness should be a give and take scenario. My point is no one owes anyone a relationship. If you decide to have one try to make it work. | |
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| Why are single men caled shallow for not wanting to date single mother's?
Posted: 9/7/2007 10:21:30 AM | Then read what you wrote- I'm taking it to an extreme to show you how off base you sound.
You have wondered aloud about the women you have dated, especially single moms, and why they have treates you/acted the way they have. Look at the attitudes and expectations you would bring into a relationship, especially one with a single mom- are they ones that would foster trust, mutual respect, closeness, compassion and understanding? No. If you already assume from the start that someone is going to try to screw you over it reflects in your actions and words, whether intentional or not. Why would nayone, unless they like being a martyr or have to prove something, bother with that? Most people would either leave or develop the attitude- "well, you assume I'm screwing you over already, so why not just do it? At least I'll get something for putting up with the BS of being accused of it."
Johne, you reap what you sow and you have sowed mistrust, derision, misunderstanding, lack of understanding, lack of compassion and more all over these forums. I highly doubt that you post one set of thoughts, while holding another personally, so I figure that your posts are a true representation of what you believe. If the world, women, single mothers are all ugly- then guess what, for you they are! If you treat a person like crap or less than or talk them down for something they didn't even do, then guess what, you created a state that makes them want to treat you that way.
And you talk about making a relationship work? Sounds like you may be dooming yours from the start. | |
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| Why are single men caled shallow for not wanting to date single mother's?
Posted: 9/7/2007 10:32:16 AM | I asked a question on this thread and while I am not shallow and woiuld do almost anything to make a relationship work, I will not be diong soi with a single mother..been there done that , will not do it again.
I just do not see why some expect someone to accept them but do not want to accept the same in someone else. In this case single mom's (at least some) say guys are shallow who will not date them but some expect a man to meet all of her criteria and he better accept her kids but he can not have any because some do not want that drama. | |
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| Why are single men caled shallow for not wanting to date single mother's?
Posted: 9/7/2007 10:39:19 AM | ^^You spin me right round baby, right round,
Like a record baby, right round, round, round,
You spin me right round baby, right round,
Like a record baby, right round, round, round
 | |
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| Why are single men caled shallow for not wanting to date single mother's?
Posted: 9/7/2007 11:15:57 AM | | Second, third and fourth verse....same as the first. Even the choice is the same. Yes Yankee belle you are in Groundhog Day. Here we go again. You are making perfect sense to me and several others, just not to the intended recipient. One of these years it might register. | |
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Pucks
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Joined: 10/14/2006
Msg: 435 | |
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| Why are single men caled shallow for not wanting to date single mother's?
Posted: 9/7/2007 1:03:04 PM | | Pucks you post your thoughts and I will post mine, if you want me to keep my thoughts to myself you keep your thoughts to yourself. I do not care for your socialist/communist views. I will not support someone else's offspring. If you read these threads many want someone to take care of them and there kids but if they say no boy are they shallow. But a sociolist wants everyoner to share right? | |
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| Why are single men caled shallow for not wanting to date single mother's?
Posted: 9/7/2007 1:03:39 PM | I'd love to know where or when I've ever said that- for me respect is everything, which is part of my point. If you don't give it, you don't get it and, from what you have displayed here on these forums, ya ain't gonna get it cause ya don't give it!!!!
Nuff said- I'm outta here!!!! | |
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| Why are single men caled shallow for not wanting to date single mother's?
Posted: 9/8/2007 6:16:35 AM |
brandiw: I am not bitter and maybe if you read my posts you will se they make sense.
Yes you are, and no they don't. If you're going to post things that make "sense", then you should at least have the intelligence to know that they don't apply in every situation, or even most.
No one should ask from someone they are dating to bring to a relationship that which they can not bring to it themselves.
Of course not, but that applies to ANY relationship. Not just the relationships of single moms.
Johne, I know you've had some bad experiences with single moms... but your exes or your "friends" are not the rest of us. It would be like one of the women you've dated swearing off people with cerebral palsy because she had a bad experience with you. That wouldn't exactly be fair, would it?
Your incessant need to repeat what single mothers might do because of loco parentis, or how they're users, etc. is rather disturbing. You've started at least 5 threads and hijacked several more preaching about how it can happen, and it's getting rather tiring. You even posted it in a thread about universal healthcare, for crying out loud.
Another disturbing thing I've noticed is that you seem to come from a "superior" viewpoint. The fact that you said you were "willing" to date single moms says to me that you feel that you're better than they are.. you're "willing" to date us so we should be grateful. Most women can pick up negativity in a heartbeat, and it may have a large role in why these relationships aren't working out for you.
You also have a very conservative standpoint when it comes to social programs to helping out single moms (they don't deserve MY money), are very judgmental when it comes to single moms and their threads here (stop popping out kids, I don't wanna pay for them... you should have known better... you need to do more and leave the poor NCP's who have to pay child support alone), and you also feel the need to repeat it all over and over even when the situation doesn't fit(which makes you look obsessive).
The social conservatism is surprising, seeing as how you've revealed your disability and have benefited from these same programs.... do you think any/all of the therapies you've received were magically paid for by the tooth fairy?
You asked the question Johne, and you've received many answers. You can either listen to what we're all saying and give it thought... or you can keep beating your head off the proverbial wall.
It's up to you. | |
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| Why are single men caled shallow for not wanting to date single mother's?
Posted: 9/8/2007 6:41:27 AM |
Why is it dangerous to date a single mom in canada??? I'm very curious, I've never heard that before.
He's saying that because in some cases where a step-parent takes on the financial responsibility and steps into the dad role, he can be made to pay child support when the relationship end. I've only heard about it.. I've never actually seen it happen.
It's no different than guys warning other men to never marry because they might end up paying alimony..... | |
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| Why are single men caled shallow for not wanting to date single mother's?
Posted: 9/8/2007 9:09:19 AM | | Brandiw: I have not needed therapy due to my disability. I need massage therapy but that is not covered under and medical programs I pay for it out of my own pocket. You assume things about me when you do not even know me. I make enough money from my jop to pay my biolls put some money into saving and live a lifestyle of travel and liesure when I am not working. I do not recieve any assistance from government, not even a GST cheque. Why risk my lifestyle on on someone else's children? I did not bring them into the world why should I support them? The topic of this thread is men who are called shallow for not dating single mother's. Really why would many single mom's call men shallow for not wanting to dsate them. I have friends who are single mom's who feel this way (yet they refuise to date single father's for the same reason some will not date single mother's, if that is not the pot calling the kettle black. Read the threads many single mother's bash men who will not date them and ask that a man be financially stable when they themselves are not.) I did not post anything about single mothers in a healthcare that, that was irected at another poster. I feel everyone shoud "carry their own weight" or pay their own way in life. There are those who post questioning why it is a financial risk to date single parents..obviously not everyone is aware of this law so it needs to be publizided (spelling?) | |
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| Why are single men caled shallow for not wanting to date single mother's?
Posted: 9/9/2007 10:33:15 PM | johne 102,
If you are as smart and educated as you say...you should know the first rule in the marketing of an idea or opinion is...to know the audience you are speaking too!
If you feel you need to warn the general population about the pitfalls of dating a single parent...pick a different audience! I am not shocked at any of the replies you have gotten over the course of this thread.....actually I am surprised at how civil and respectful some of the replies you have gotten from the posters on here....given the obvious predjiduce you seem to have for single mothers.
There is nobody here who is going to make you feel better about yourself and whatever shortcomings you have...at the expense of a single parent by joining your crusade in bashing single parents! Whatever message you may have had at the beginning of the last 5 threads I have read from you....is lost to the bigitry you have demonstrated on these single parent forums. You can only cry wolf three times....or haven't you heard that story? | |
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| Why are single men caled shallow for not wanting to date single mother's?
Posted: 9/9/2007 10:41:25 PM | I dont think they are shallow at all. To me it seems like the ones who are calling them shallow are just upset because they are not being considered because they have a lil one. I have a daughter and I understand. I would not date a guy with more than 1 kid because its simply my preference. NEVER settle for anything less than what you WANT ?? If someone thinks your shallow ....who cares or should I say why do you care? Be happy, get what you want and dont look back!
But I can say that you may be on the other side one day and its really not something you can always control so think about that! Death and divorce buddy are very common and sometimes one of those will lead you to single parent city! | |
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DanaJP
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Joined: 8/22/2007
Msg: 446 | |
| Why are single men caled shallow for not wanting to date single mother's?
Posted: 9/10/2007 7:38:47 AM | | If a woman has a child, and the biological father is unknown, that might be sufficient reason not to date her. Is there a bigger red flag than a woman bringing a child into this world without an idea of who the father is? Forget about child support laws in many states and Canada... A woman who has insufficient self-respect to avoid having multiple sexual partners who could all have fathered her child is probably a bad risk. | |
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| Why are single men caled shallow for not wanting to date single mother's?
Posted: 9/10/2007 8:24:37 AM | Just because there is no father in the picture does not mean that she doesn't know who the father is. Sometimes she DOES know who it is, but due to his nature or his lack of desire for involvement, he may not be the most suitable choice as a father-figure.
Not every single mom without an ex who is present in their child's life is a candidate for the Maury Povich show. Unknown on the birth certificate could simply be on there as a desire to protect the child (by making him have to PROVE paternity in order for him to get rights) or to have less complications from a less than ideal situation, not because the father's identity is unknown or could not be determined because she was sleeping with too many guys at once.
It would be wonderful if every woman who becomes pregnant wants her baby and is ready to be a mother for that child and is in a committed realtionship with a man who wants to have that child with her and is ready to be a father, but this is the real world and that is not always the case. Don't assume that because a situation does not fall under these terms that it automatically means that the people involved are "bad". | |
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| Why are single men caled shallow for not wanting to date single mother's?
Posted: 9/10/2007 8:38:03 AM | SantinaDD7: I agree with what you say. If I am a single parent I would feel that the person who chooses not to date me is just making their choice. I get bashed on here for asking why men get bashed and are caled shallow if they choose not to date single mothers.
Lizbeth: I do see your point however do you see mine? I have cerebral palsey and have been told many times women would not date me because they did not dream one day of dating a man with a disability. I have had 2 ladies tell me that dated guys with disabilities in the past and it was not a good experience for them. That is beyond my control and it is their choice to aviod such a situation in the future even though I may be differant. It is up to me to pove that I would be differant if someone choose's not to date me because of past experiences or stereotypes I do not lose sleep over it. Neither should anyoneone else for any reason given somneone will not date you.
Have you read all the threads and comments where guys get called shallow, immature etc for not wanting to dating single moms? I have nothing against single mothers as a group. I have had bad experiences dating them and with laws in Canada I choose not to date them. When I azssk a question as to why are men called shallow? It is because my grop of friends (who are single mothers) call guys shallow who will not date them but they refuse to date single dads using the same logic and that to me does not make sense. Or why do single parents try to convince you things will be differant? I started that thread..did you read it? It is based on my experiences with one single mother in particular but a second did almost the same thing. It may not be all single moms that do that but some do and I have not had that experience with a lady without kids. I post based on my experiences in life. You see the single mom's I know either have a double standard or were a little "different" shall we say. I know not all single mother's are like that but many bash men for no real reason and I was wondering why.
DanaJP: Good point. | |
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| Why are single men caled shallow for not wanting to date single mother's?
Posted: 9/10/2007 9:03:26 AM | For those of you interested I post in all forums. I started a thread call "Are we as a society to uptight? If so should we change it?" It is in datingexperiences forums. You can post thre as I can and we can all post in this forum too. Just because someone has a trhought or opinion that you may not agree with it does not make them a bad person.
To those of you that have given realy responses and not just bashed me...thank you | |
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