| Why are single men caled shallow for not wanting to date single mother's?
Posted: 9/11/2007 12:08:10 PM |
Tiredofgames: Would you date a single father? I do not consider myself shallow as I prefer to date those without children as I want children of my own when I meret the right lady and do not want the drama some single mother's bring to the table. What can a single mom do for me that a woman without kids can't? I like to travel, can you travel without your little ones? I do not like to spend more money than I have to.
Just because a man has goals in life and one of them is not to raise someone else's kids why would that be shalow? If you were single and had no kids would you want to raise another woman's child?
Oh, good God, I think I'm setting myself up to be royally bashed, because I am going to defend Johne.  I do NOT think that you are shallow because you prefer to date women without children. You're right.. in my experience, a lot of women that already have children of their own don't want any more. And although a lot of single mothers AND fathers do NOT bring drama to the table, many of them do. Sometimes it's very hard not to when the other parent is still in the picture... lots of other reasons, too. And true, most parents of small children cannot travel without their little ones.. if they can, it takes a lot of preparation and planning. One thing, though... you may come across as selfish by saying that you don't want to spend more money than you have to.. I am assuming you mean on the children?! I think that most single parents would pay for their child if they were travelling with someone else!
Again, I don't think you're being shallow... just very blunt about what you want and don't want. As for me, I am single with a teenager and would prefer to not raise someone else's YOUNG children........so I guess I'm shallow and selfish, too!  Now.. can't we just end this thread and all get along? | |
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| Why are single men caled shallow for not wanting to date single mother's?
Posted: 9/11/2007 12:16:41 PM | The funniest part about this whole f.uckin' 20 page thread (now) is that no one, exept that 1 poster, has called Johne shallow. Yet, he still harps on it, cause a friend of a friends sisters cousins brother half sisters 2nd cousins uncle dated someone who took advantage. LOL
I dont think he's shallow, and Im a single mother. Ive said it before in this thread, dont date us, I think its best that he stay away from them anyway.
Avoid us! Avoid us like the plague! Run!  | |
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| Why are single men caled shallow for not wanting to date single mother's?
Posted: 9/11/2007 1:24:05 PM | Yankee
Although you look nice in your photo,but your mind is very vicious.It seems like you have had really bad experience with single guys out there.You need to calm down a little.Something inside you makes you feel the need to be very defensive most of the time.
In your eyes, it is others who are always wrong. | |
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| Why are single men caled shallow for not wanting to date single mother's?
Posted: 9/11/2007 1:37:07 PM | What? You don't know me and you have not obviously read very many of my posts, yet you feel qualified to make an assessment of my personality? To call me vicious? To assume that I carry a grudge against single guys? And to do it in a public forum instead of in private? Let others draw their own conclusions about what that denotes about your character.
All I can say is you are WAY off base... reserve the character assinations for those whose character you actually know well enough to make that kind of judgement on. Just because you chose to take something I said out of context and used it to define who I am does not make me vicious or denote me as a woman who has issues with single men. It just makes you guilty of a snap judgement based on an inaccurate interpretation. I would ask why you decided to single me out. I don't see where you have called anyone else out for their "personality flaws".... | |
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| Why are single men caled shallow for not wanting to date single mother's?
Posted: 9/11/2007 2:11:11 PM | Harleyblue;
I agree with you 110%, you have said it all for me, as far as this thread is concerned.Don't get me wrong, I don't anything against single moms.But I strongly feel that people should be fair and understand that we all have the right to make choices in our lives.Wether or not to have kids of our own and wether or not to be in a relationship with someone who has kids already.People are different ,like and dislike different things and also want different things out of life.And that does not make anyone selfish,shallow or immature.
I do believe it is a very good thing if you know what you want in life and what you are looking for in a relationship.
There is absolutely NOTHING WRONG in you being a single mom who does not want to date men who have young children.It is your choice,you know what you want and what you are looking for in a relationship.It is all down to choices we all make in our lives,and we all have the right to do so without being called shallow.
I agree that some people may bash you because of your opinion.Because there some people who refuse to understand.They are full of bitterness and are resentful of single men who know what they are looking for in a relationship.
Goodluck
You | |
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| Why are single men caled shallow for not wanting to date single mother's?
Posted: 9/11/2007 2:27:10 PM | Ive seen quite a few single MOTHERS state on THIS thread, that Johne would be better off NOT dating a single mother. The ONLY thing that was attacked was his obvious WEAKNESS in his self esteem and GENEROSITY.
HOW can the few of you have MISSED that?!
It shows that you really ARE picking apart posts and swaying it to YOUR liking.
No one HERE has stated Johne is shallow for his reasons to stay away. (ok, 1 poster at page 19..ha).
Are you seriously reading the same thread I am on? | |
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| Why are single men caled shallow for not wanting to date single mother's?
Posted: 9/11/2007 2:51:11 PM | pxlife,
I find it very interesting that you ask people to be fair and understanding in their opinions of others, all things considered. Despite that call, you find it very easy to make judgments against other individuals when you know very little about them- who they are, what their situation is, and what experiences they have had and made next to no attempt to find out more. Did that display fairness and understanding?
I'm sorry, maybe it's just me, but maybe you need to look at just how much you value fairness and understanding. If you truly do value it, then you should show it toward others. | |
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| Why are single men caled shallow for not wanting to date single mother's?
Posted: 9/11/2007 3:21:26 PM | | I feel I should explain my comment about not wanting to spend too much money or more money than I have to. I am very generous yet IO have had it happen a few imes where a single mom I was dating brought the kids along unanounced on dates 1 2 or3 and it was rather awkward. I had no way to plan for the extra expense. All of the females that did this expected me to pay for the little ones too. | |
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| Why are single men caled shallow for not wanting to date single mother's?
Posted: 9/11/2007 3:24:32 PM | ^^Instead of repeating yourself, why not tell the person to go read pages: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, and 19 where you already stated this lil fact.  | |
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| Why are single men caled shallow for not wanting to date single mother's?
Posted: 9/12/2007 11:29:48 AM | Yankee;
You're right,I don't know you and may be you aren't as "vicious" as I thought.My opinion was purely based on a number of your posts which in my opinion came across as a little bit confrontational and resentful.But I also know that other people may have seen your posts in a different way.
I do apologize if my comments were hurtful,It wasn't intetional.
But I think your last post was polite and not confrontational. | |
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| Why are single men caled shallow for not wanting to date single mother's?
Posted: 9/12/2007 10:01:41 PM | HarleyBlue
Great to see someone more realistic but like I mentioned before there are 2 sides to the story. The discussion to this issue is ongoing and never ending hence making it useless to pursue.
The bottom line is single men should be aware of the options they have and the consequences when entering into a long term relationship with a single mother. The risks are there and you may have to pay a price for that.
To me, an anlogy might be a tamer who tames lions/tigers, he knows the risks and sometimes he/she pays the price. The risk is inherent due to the situation but single mom can somewhat be more dangerous than tiger/lion..once you get ****ed, it is over there is no way around this mother****er...you pay for the child support or your ass be in jail and you become someone ****. Either way, you got ****ed up and become the single mother's child support paying **** or another prison ****....
You become the mother****ing **** --- cannot escape this fact...accept it or leave it....
By the time your assemble your options, it will be too late my friend so better not **** up to pay for someone else ****edness..He who ****ed up should pay for the dear price. There is a price my friend and thanks god, I found it early enough to prevent further damage ..
Likewise, dating and living together with a single mom has inherent risks that you may or may not face but the likelihood of getting ****ed over mentally, socially and financially is existent... each is a case by case and to each degree of getting ****ed over.
I rather pay to find one single childless girl $10,000 rather than start a free relationship with a single mom. $10000 IS NOTHING OF WHAT you might up paying your ass off in the next 18 years ($300/per month * 12 months *18 years = $64800 approximated to a low $300/month) You do the math ... $65,000 ONLY FOR CHILD SUPPORT FOR A CHILD THAT IS NOT YOURS..**** THAT..YOU MUST BE ****ING HIGH to overlook this mother****ing option..
SOMETIMES, putting numbers in perspective will make people realize shit that they do not..some mother****ers run their mouths and you **** with money, they come back to reality.. | |
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| Why are single men caled shallow for not wanting to date single mother's?
Posted: 9/14/2007 10:46:43 PM | OMG.....this one time..at band camp....lol....
PLEASE.....some of you single guys can't be guilty of using the MILF abreviation and complain about the choices in women you date!
This title should read: Why are single men called shallow for only wanting to score with desperate single mothers!..............duh?
Recent stats from the censous in Canada Johne.....single parent families are starting to outnumber married couples and single adults.....food for thought!....ahh....what do I know....I am just a MILF looking for the next opportunity.....so Johne....busy next weekend? | |
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| Why are single men caled shallow for not wanting to date single mother's?
Posted: 9/14/2007 10:54:24 PM | | I saw that stat from stats Canada too and while that is a fair assessment some people have preferances and I personally do not think anyone should be called shallow for having preferances. Yet if you read these forums if a guy says he does not want to date a single mom..many of the next posts are bashing him. Plus I stated earlier the opinions of my female friends who are single mothers. | |
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| Why are single men called shallow for not wanting to date single mother's?
Posted: 9/14/2007 11:06:11 PM | Are we reading the same thread Johne? I saw one post calling you shallow just because you wanted someone ... anyone to call you shallow so they obliged you. Then I believe one poster actually did call you shallow and meant it. I don't think it really had anything to do with your or any other single guys preference of not dating single mothers...I think she was just basing her assessment on your posts and the impression they are giving everyone on here. You do appear to be a bit needy and fickle but that's just an opinion based on your previous posts here and in several other threads. Most single mothers on here have agreed with certain men NOT dating single mothers. They would have nothing to contribute to a relationship other than insecurity and mistrust. Not healthy components to any relationship. Definitely something most secure, confident single mothers would avoid. We want and deserve someone of substance. Someone who will care for us as women first, mothers second. They would also have to have the maturity and capability to care about (not for) our children. That's not asking too much.
You really need to get new friends Johne. They are emotionally sucking you dry. | |
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| Why are single men called shallow for not wanting to date single mother's?
Posted: 9/16/2007 8:43:43 PM | | Canoe: my friends now where I stand and I have posted their attitudes as a case study. I was hoping to get not just the input of intellegent ladies such as yourself, but also some input from those who post on these boards bashing men for not dating single mom's to find out why they bash men. | |
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| Why are single men caled shallow for not wanting to date single mother's?
Posted: 9/16/2007 10:49:09 PM | WOW. uhm. A) yes it does sound shallow because for one.. what if that single mom is the one girl who is going to make your life complete.. what if that child turns into the child you always dreamt of having... what if you turn down a girl because she has a kid.. and you end up miserable for the rest of your life because you had to settle for someone less than perfect for you. SO basically you can take a risk with a girl with a child and uhm.. i think ppl who file for child support from the non-sperm donors are rediculous (i didn't even file for the SD because hes such an a$$) ... end up happy (possibly) OR you can turn her down and save the money, but end up losing happiness.
I know where your coming from.. some girls are pricks... ok LOTS of girls are.. but don't stereotype all single moms as that. IDK about canada.. but in washington.. i've never heard of that law.
just saying.
And yes there is no B) | |
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| Why are single men caled shallow for not wanting to date single mother's?
Posted: 9/17/2007 1:11:35 AM | Kids are the nuber one resaons for mariuage to fail if you are a step parnet.
If the kid does not like you, the relationship or marriage is doomed unless the kid is an adult living away from home.
Why do you think the POF has an option concering kids that states that they h ave over 18 and do not live with me or something like that.
And the first time I read in the personals about someone not wanting to date someone with kids was an ad written by a WOMAN.
And a lot of men and women are just looking for a partner to help raise their kid.
And don't forget about the ex wife or ex husband will be in the background unless he is nowhere to be found or is in prision.
You marry a woman with kid(s) and you automatically have a relationhsip with the ex spouse wihich is not a good thing from my experience.
And even if the kid is gworn, they themselves have kids and the woman wants to spend all her time with her grand kids instead of traveling and having a good time after years of rasing kids. It is an endless cycle.
If this is beingselfish, . I speak from experience and if you are NOT fond of kids, do NOT get involved with a woman or man who has kids. You are doing everyone a big favor. | |
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| Why are single men caled shallow for not wanting to date single mother's?
Posted: 9/17/2007 1:58:39 AM | Disney Mom...Lost Cause. I'm going to bed. John is just looking for some back pat or validation to justify the lack of self-esteem that atracts him to the needy single parents. When confronted with a situation that he doesn't like, I thing his courage and pocketbook get all balled up his a$$. So easy then, to blame the partner for being greedy and grasping. It is like taking a nap under an elephant's foot and then compaining about having a migrane.
You want to date single mothers with children?
Do think once, then think twice
then RUN AWAY before those greedy little children sponge off a Happy Meal from you at Macdonald's!
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| Why are single men caled shallow for not wanting to date single mother's?
Posted: 9/17/2007 8:46:35 AM | Bona Dea: Thank you..I do not lakc self esteem, I posted this thread to see if I could understand why some (not all but some) single mom's call guys shalow who will not date them. I get personally attacked for it. To say just don't date single mom's is not the point of this thread. I am saying why do some call men who do not want to date single mom's shallow for not doing so?
I am not selfish and have learned from mistakes nI made in the past. If you read these forums the minute a man posts that they will not date single mos he gets bashed in the next few posys saying that he is shallow.
I posted this next point in another thread but I feel that it is valid here to.
I had a conversation a few months ago with a friend of mine who is a single mom. She says that she refuses to date a single dad because all single dad's are just looking for a mommy for their kids and she does not want the drama of dealing with an ex and she does not want to raise someone else's child. When I pointed out that some men feel this way about single mother's she said those men are shallow. I asked her what that made a single mom with the same attitude towards dating single father's she said that women are free to exercise choices. Okay so one sex is free to exercise choices and the other is shallow?
I know not all women feel this way but could the ones that do explain how thgis makes sense? | |
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Pucks
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Joined: 10/14/2006
Msg: 499 | |
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| Why are single men caled shallow for not wanting to date single mother's?
Posted: 9/17/2007 12:02:54 PM | i dont see the problem with single mammys. but then it depends on how quick your ready to commit and how ready you are to move on with your life.
while u may call some men shallow you have to remember that some young guys may not feel %100 ready to take on a child and wouldnt it be better that he just didnt bother rather than get involved with you and your child then decide hes made a mistake and leave the kid confused.
taking on someones elses child requires alot of nads. but if you arent 100% i dont think you should start anything.
you can say it shows signs of immaturity all you like. personally i think it shows more signs of maturity than anything else providing its done for the right reasons | |
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