| Why are single men caled shallow for not wanting to date single mother's?
Posted: 11/9/2007 12:21:59 PM | | there is single women out there that dont want to date us single guys there are men out there who did not leve there girls preg and run and not provide for there kids but as soon as you say too a girl im a dad ov 1 kid they think had the kid and ran which is wrong:modhammer: | |
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| Why are single men caled shallow for not wanting to date single mother's?
Posted: 11/9/2007 1:27:46 PM | ^^^^that is another point as well....ye we all have choices and we are free to exercise those choices..it just seems that some (not all but some) uses choices for one side as "making an informed choice" and the other side get called "shallow" for making the same chpice.
Or so I have noticed on a few of these threads. | |
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| Why are single men caled shallow for not wanting to date single mother's?
Posted: 11/10/2007 11:15:28 AM | | I don't call a single man who doesn't wanna date me shallow.....It is their preference...Just like I have preferences ....Some may just be missing out on a good woman....But I don't judge anybody on their choices.....Just be honest with me up front is all I ask...When I tell you I have kids to start, simply say I am not interested.... | |
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| Why are single men called shallow for not wanting to date single mother's?
Posted: 11/10/2007 7:26:57 PM |
.if a sinfgle mom says her children makes her life complete..why is she looking for a man
While I would not say that my kids complete me (although they enrich my life & open my heart), I feel that a mature relationship is one where your partner complements, rather than completes, you. I don't, however, feel that this statement is particular to single moms, but instead to those who are not yet comfortable enough with themselves so as to not "need" a partner. Why would you feel that the utterance of these words mean anything different to a single mom? | |
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| Why are single men called shallow for not wanting to date single mother's?
Posted: 11/10/2007 8:15:45 PM | ^^^^^^^^to answer your last post:
If you think about the statement some single moms make that their children complete them, it would seem they do not need to date. Now if the children add to their lives and make them smile and appreciate every day..then yes I see plenty of room for a spouse. | |
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| Why are single men called shallow for not wanting to date single mother's?
Posted: 11/11/2007 5:22:13 AM | | Again, I say that if you need ANYONE to make you whole, you have issues, single parent or not. I am complete, with or without children or a man. Doesn't make me "undateable", or take away my ability to share my life with another. I tend to shy away from men who are looking for "the rest of them"; when they find it, then they can call me! | |
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| Why are single men caled shallow for not wanting to date single mother's?
Posted: 11/14/2007 5:20:02 PM | Being a single mom- I don't have a problem with guys saying "no , i choose not to date single moms." Who am I to make them change their mind??? Everyone has their own opinion whatever it might be based on...ie. stigma, society view... whatever...
Is it wrong when I say I choose not to date alcoholics, dead beats who can't hold a job, drug dealers, etc etc...
Bottom line Date whom you want... To each their own...
I hope at the end of the day we all find what we are looking for and deserve... | |
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| Why are single men caled shallow for not wanting to date single mother's?
Posted: 12/7/2007 4:20:01 PM | I have something like that on my profile because I seriously think even after stateing that I have a child and all I still get guys who message me and than 5 seconds into the conversation when they ask a question I say something that has to do with my son and they freak out.
I am not so sure it is shallow but it is really annoying cause you feel rejected before you even start. I find it discouraging. I have not yet found any guy on POF that will give me a proper chance they seem to either not talk at all or only talk about sex. As if since I have a child I must be easy or something.
I think it is slightly shallow if I send a message though and they don't even read it because my profile picture has my son and I in it.
I have on the other hand had a very nice gentalmen that has talked to me as a friend but stated that he is not looking for a relationship with a mom which honestly I value so much.
Anyway I probably will take that off my profile I change mine daily.
I live in Canada and have been to court and know pretty much 90% of the laws and I have never heard of anybody ever getting child support from a non-paternal parent. I can't even get it from the true dad you think I am going to go after a non-paternal parent NEVER!!
Anyway happy fishing all! | |
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| Why are single men caled shallow for not wanting to date single mother's?
Posted: 12/7/2007 7:43:09 PM | yellow lily:
I commend you for your attitude but if a parent has custody of the children and the ex step parent meets the criteria and if the parent wants themm to pay support they are on the hook from the courts.
I do not think it is shallow I think it is financially responsible. | |
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| Why are single men caled shallow for not wanting to date single mother's?
Posted: 12/7/2007 9:11:09 PM | The followning is not a typical case. Far from it this is the most extreme case I know of. BUT it does give you some idea why divorced women have such a filthy reputation.
New Jersey Court Ruling--She Killed His Son, but
He Must Pay Her Alimony
November 27, 2007
She Killed His Son but He Must Pay Her Alimony
Examples of decent, loving dads being manhandled by the anti-father family law system are legion, but this one has to make the Top 10. A recent New Jersey appeals court reaffirmed a decision mandating that a man must pay alimony to his ex-wife--who killed their son. From Legal tussle: Should killer get alimony? (Bergen Record, 11/22/07):
"A state appeals court on Wednesday refused to automatically bar alimony from spouses who kill a child...The decision was issued in the case of Linda Calbi, who is serving a three-year prison term after pleading guilty to beating her son, Matt, on Aug. 17, 2003, during a violent argument at their home. He died hours later from internal bleeding and cardiac arrest...
"Linda Calbi was originally charged with murder, but the charges were later downgraded to aggravated assault, based on expert reports that medical error contributed significantly to the boy's death. She was sentenced last year to three years in prison and won't be eligible for parole until November 2008.
"The Calbis were divorced in 2001 after 15 years of marriage. A few months after Matt's death, Chris Calbi fell behind on his alimony payments and filed papers in court seeking a reduction or termination of his payment obligations.
'She took the life of her oldest son, scarred her younger son for the rest of his life, and tore the fabric of my soul from me,' Chris Calbi wrote in papers filed in Superior Court in Hackensack. 'To reward this evil and violent woman by allowing her ... to derive a financial benefit from the family she destroyed ... can only be described as a perversion of our justice system.'"
Chris Calbi had been paying Linda $3,183 a month until her incarceration, and may be saddled with that amount when Linda is paroled. | |
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| Why are single men caled shallow for not wanting to date single mother's?
Posted: 3/25/2009 4:50:07 PM | "Go do your homework for the UNITED STATES before you make such a claim that this happens. Unless the "man" signs documentation at the time of the child's birth that yes, he is the father, then the mother has no right to claim child support from a man who knowingly isn't the father. Court systems do not simply honor a woman's wish for money simply because she makes a claim against "John Doe". Paternity MUST be established first and foremost."
You might want to take your own advice:
http://www.csmonitor.com/2007/0209/p01s01-usju.htm
http://www.digtriad.com/news/article.aspx?storyid=52892
http://ar.courtbulletin.com/subscribers/17ACB15.pdf
http://www.wjla.com/news/stories/0608/525145.html
http://divorce.clementlaw.com/2007/04/articles/child-support/non-biological-father-liable-for-child-support/
http://www.canadiancrc.com/Newspaper_Articles/Globe_and_Mail_Man_who_didn%27t_father_twins_must_paychild_support_07JAN08.aspx
Even if the man signs and later finds out that the "woman" lied, he should not be under an obligation to support the child. | |
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| Why are single men called shallow for not wanting to date single mother's?
Posted: 3/25/2009 5:53:33 PM | i wouldnt class it shallow it because they have been there and they have children from previous realtionships and i would not want to be upbringing some one elses child for the next 18 years and then you look at the other factor they arent intreseted of wanting more children in the future so that reason and then you will have to fork out on $ buying things like toys presents and day outings and if you were with single mum the kids would have to be tag along like holidays and even going out to lunch then the kids see something they would want this and that and if they dont get there way they just get out of control and plus i dont have time for single mums | |
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| Why are single men caled shallow for not wanting to date single mother's?
Posted: 7/13/2009 12:36:16 AM |
Plain and simple, they cant handle the fact of being turned down and rejected. Some of them are nothing but gold digging losers just looking for their next free meal ticket. Their like pathetic leeches that will cling on to you, and wont let go.
What exactly is a gold digger? | |
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| Why are single men caled shallow for not wanting to date single mother's?
Posted: 7/13/2009 9:21:23 AM |
gold digger: someone who will go after somebody elses money and credit cards..
make sense now?
*downs a shot of tequila*..come on girl..dont slow me down now..LOL
lol, well I always heard the term gold digger in reference to women who only dated very, very wealthy men, specifically for their money. I had never heard it used to refer to any man, until I began posting here. | |
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| Why are single men caled shallow for not wanting to date single mother's?
Posted: 7/14/2009 2:29:29 PM |
Plain and simple, they cant handle the fact of being turned down and rejected. Some of them are nothing but gold digging losers just looking for their next free meal ticket. Their like pathetic leeches that will cling on to you, and wont let go. This from a guy who puts women down in other forums for not wanting to date a single dad with kids. It sounds more like you are the who can't handle being rejected and is a pathetic woman hater. Whatever you feel about a single mother is the same way some people are looking at single dads. | |
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| Why are single men caled shallow for not wanting to date single mother's?
Posted: 7/14/2009 6:56:37 PM | I agree I was wondered why guys won't date women with children, when they could be the best catch ever but for women to go after men that have children and think it's perfectly fine just makes me so mad I think it should go both ways, I really don't care if guys don't want to date me for my kid's they are more important to me then some guy thinking he won't give me a chance. | |
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| Why are single men caled shallow for not wanting to date single mother's?
Posted: 7/14/2009 8:07:11 PM | She's calls us shallow because she's a bit horny and has needs and wants that we single guys don't have to accept as part of being her companion. We can give her emotional support, free dinners, maybe travel opportunities and even include her kids.
When my ex thought she found someone to take her off my hands after I warned her seven times I was going to divorce her, it didn't pan out. I advised her not to allow him to get close to our kids and lavish them with things "they" thought the kids might want - ski trips, pool parties, etc. And she thought it was all going smooth until right after Christmas when he kicked her and the kids out of his house (90 days). I felt bad for the kids because they liked him. He was a nice, older who just needed to get laid really good. The perfect tool. I liked him.
So I took his company off the web and slapped him on a dozen international sites... detailing all the juicy backstory to his new American Lifestyle after moving from Great Britain. I owned him and he knew it.
He had to recall all the times when he was working on my cars in his garage to ingratiate himself to her (lunching with her while I was busy working) if I was in fact in his home taking contacts off his phone while it was charging, fixing us some scotch.
Single men shallow for not wanting to date single mom's? It's the least harmful label anyone could tag them with really. Be shallow, guys. Be smart.
Mines is a special case, I know. | |
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| Why are single men caled shallow for not wanting to date single mother's?
Posted: 7/14/2009 8:19:23 PM |
I don't think it's shallow. It's a life style issue. Now If someone has children and refuses to date someone else that has kids THEN I say it's shallow.
If someone believes they would not make a good partner to someone because they couldn't love another person's child like their own, why would they be shallow? Why would anyone care why someone doesn't want to date them? Wouldn't time be better spent moving on to someone who is on the same page as they are? | |
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| Why are single men caled shallow for not wanting to date single mother's?
Posted: 7/15/2009 1:21:56 PM | | bosoxfaninwa- Very interesting perspective. I hadn't even thought about that. You are very right though. I don't know why people waste time thinking about why certain type of person doesn't like them. It's not like you're going to convince someone to be interested. You are right: time would be better spent moving on to someone who is on the same page as them. But then we wouldn't have all the whiners filling up the forums. What would we talk about? | |
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I'm the one who steers clear of single dads. On another post about women not wanting single dads you did say