| Are too many favorites a turn off?
Posted: 8/6/2007 3:22:10 PM | Princess Leigh: As I have previously elaborated I have contacted all of the favorites on my list... even just to say hi once and see if they want to chat.. but you are right in that it's simply a number and nothing more.
Bluehair21: thanks hon! I think way too many people are putting the wrong spin on having "too many favorites". I like people, I like to talk and have many friends BOTH male AND female. This is yet another way of keeping in contact. | |
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| Are too many favorites a turn off?
Posted: 8/6/2007 3:55:53 PM | To you guys: would me being on this many favorites lists prevent you from contacting me? Would you choose NOT to contact me because of this?A lot of women choose the best guy they can get. The more guys who want them, the less likely it is for them to contact me. However, if I see that we are on the same wavelength from your forum posts and your profile, I'll have a go anyway. You might pick up on the fact we seem to connect.
Would you look down on a woman for having "too many favorites"? And WHY would this be an issue?Only if you liked the attention. I seem to find that women who like being surrounded by guys who clearly only want them for sex, to be very unrealistic, self-serving and selfish, so I am learning that I am better off finding the sort of woman who I find attractive and who would make a great friend. I find the relationships with those women work better, as a friend or a girlfriend. | |
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| Are too many favorites a turn off?
Posted: 8/6/2007 4:03:10 PM | | It can certainly be intimidating. You look at that and wonder if you have to be someone else to get her attention, and I can't speak for all men, but I am not interested in being someone else. | |
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| Are too many favorites a turn off?
Posted: 8/6/2007 4:10:19 PM | Why should this be relevant to what a person is like....seems to me another way of false labeling. If an attractive woman is on here long enough she may have 400 people who placed her on their favorite list. She may be only talking to one or two people on here. It is silly to think there is some popularity contest going on.
When I was in High school I was a jock but I also was quite shy. Because I was a jock I was labeled as being stuck up. People just didn't know me. | |
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| Are too many favorites a turn off?
Posted: 8/6/2007 4:25:21 PM | scorpiomover: I sense that you are VERY cynical when it comes to this subject.. and that you seem to suspect the motives of the person for having many favorites.
Foolish Heart: I can assure you that I'm looking for the best one for ME, this doesn't mean that I would require him to be someone else. Why would I.. the genuine person is what I'M looking for...
The Black Knight: You seem to understand the labeling that is going on. I feel it is not fair that some may percieve that I'm something other than who I am SIMPLY because I have a lot of favorites!!
and thanks all for the great posts! | |
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| Are too many favorites a turn off?
Posted: 8/6/2007 4:30:15 PM | thanks for responding to them, nice to see some follow up by the OP to your questions and the subsequent responses 
Makes me understand how you are the type to actually correspond with your 67 favorites
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| Are too many favorites a turn off?
Posted: 8/6/2007 4:34:08 PM | awww thanks jbparrot 
Yes I am the type that if I ask a question I give a response... also, if I get an email I give a response.. simple respect... | |
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| Are too many favorites a turn off?
Posted: 8/6/2007 5:00:56 PM | when my profile was not hidden.. it stated that I do not contact anyone on a lot of favorites lists... right or wrong.. it leaves the impression that he is collecting women, and that is a huge turn off.
I know that you can delete these... so.. if you leave them on your profile then you ARE collecting them. | |
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| Are too many favorites a turn off?
Posted: 8/6/2007 5:06:27 PM | | That is simply your oppinion allworkandnoplay. Why would I delete my friends??? Also, If I kept ALL the men that had ever put themselves on my list I can assure you that the number would be MUCH higher than 67. I do delete some when the need calls for it. | |
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| Are too many favorites a turn off?
Posted: 8/6/2007 7:21:21 PM |
Seabreeze 0702: May I inquire as to why you keep them on your list if they do not contact you or vice versa?
I never looked at it as keeping them on my list, I thought of it as them having me on their list. Like I said, unless they are bothering me in some manner.... stalking me or being rude, I don't see why it should matter to me if they chose to put my profile on their list of favorites. I don't know what their reasons are, and I don't have the time to email each one of them to ask.
Am I missing some online dating rule that says I should delete myself from their lists? I'm relatively new at this stuff, so I don't know. | |
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| Are too many favorites a turn off?
Posted: 8/6/2007 9:00:46 PM | Seabreeze 0702: There are no hard and fast rules to online dating... Heck I've been on here over a year and still don't know all the ropes! I just make it one of my rules to say hi to them see what they want and if they creep/weird me out or never respond, remove them from my list. That's just how I work my profile. it works better for me that way.
Honestly, I'm seeking feedback here myself on maybe what I should or shouldn't do and wondering if my list is keeping any potentials away (good or bad... both?) | |
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| Are too many favorites a turn off?
Posted: 8/6/2007 9:21:44 PM | No, no reason to begrudge popularity. If we had something in common perhaps you would recognize it as well.
Edit: I am a short message kind of a guy these days. Admin, please don't hate me for being succinct. | |
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| Are too many favorites a turn off?
Posted: 8/6/2007 10:15:15 PM | Seems like an attention thing to me. Most of the women I've talked to don't even look at the list- especially when it gets into the hundreds... so it seems it's more like christmas every time they log on and get to see how popular they are with people who have never met them.
Eno | |
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| Are too many favorites a turn off?
Posted: 8/6/2007 11:58:09 PM | | Gotta say if I were looking I would not want to feel like I would have to take a number. Sometimes it seems the beautiful woman, and/or one with a pic that shows a lot of cleavage or cheesecake or a sexy post and often is on over 100 favorites is just on an ego trip. Maybe not, but that is how it would appear to me. | |
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| Are too many favorites a turn off?
Posted: 8/7/2007 12:06:29 AM | | **** no, because possibly most of those guys that put you as their favorite might only go that far and not have the balls to actually meet with you. If I'm interested I'm going to ask the girl out regardless if she has a fan base of internet leg humpers. | |
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| Are too many favorites a turn off?
Posted: 8/7/2007 5:20:25 AM |
scorpiomover: I sense that you are VERY cynical when it comes to this subject.. and that you seem to suspect the motives of the person for having many favorites. I tend to find that I have to understand someone else's perspective in order to have some idea of whether or not they will email back, and the best way to do that is to understand that too many people only think about themselves.
However, I only recently emailed a woman who is on 201 favourites lists, because I really connected with what she wrote in the forums. She emailed back.
I am aware that many women do not take favourites lists seriously. I don't take them seriously either. But I talk to a lot of people. If someone expects me to stay in contact, she has to make an equal effort, and women who are surrounded by lots of men, tend not to do that. When they make equal efforts to stay in touch, they will seek me out and ignore the other men, knowing them to be flies in the ointment.
I respected you for your opinion, however different it is to my own opinion. But I only continue to respect people, who show equal respect to me. You lost that by assuming that I am cynical w/out putting any condition or qualification on it. If you want to earn my respect back, please qualify your previous statement, and I would be happy to consider you a valued friend.
My motto: Be good to those who are good to you, and don't be good to those who are not good to you. | |
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| Are too many favorites a turn off?
Posted: 8/7/2007 2:19:54 PM | Double Cabin: I'm glad that you don't feel that every woman who is on 100 favorites list is not worth your time. You are right in that if you found something worth contacting her about and she was also interested there could be a connection. I'm finding many men are simply intimidated by a number.
Eno75: Ok a reverse question for you... if the women keeping the men on thier favorites list is an attention ploy, then what about the men who places them on their favorites list?? Are they not also looking for attention??? Also with regards to favorites and not looking at the list, I can assure you that I speak with EVERYONE on my list.. and will continue to do so no matter how high it gets.
Krimiariver: And a reverse question for you as well: There are men on here that do the exact same thing (ie: beefcake photos, topless, "sexy post" and beyond). Would you think the same thing about them. Also, place yourself in their shoes... what if YOU were the one with 100 favorites?? Whould you still feel the same or simply be flattered?
get_rad: It seems that you have grasped the concept of the favorites list and what happens with MOST good looking women's lists. There are many men who add me and then never speak to me. If it were not for my policy of contacting everyone who adds me, I would never hear from them.
scorpiomover: I'm sorry if you were offended by my post, however I was not being rude, simply pointing out a conclusion based on what you wrote in my post. I will be happy to clarify what I was referring to:
A lot of women choose the best guy they can get. The more guys who want them, the less likely it is for them to contact me.
Isn't this the whole point of dating?? To find the best match for you? The more contact you have with people the better the chances of finding someone whom you click with...
I seem to find that women who like being surrounded by guys who clearly only want them for sex, to be very unrealistic, self-serving and selfish
This statement seems very cynical and to be painting women of all types with a very broad brush. I can assure you that simply because I have a lot of people on my favorites list does not mean that I love "being surrounded by guys". Speaking for me, this is quite the opposite. I would prefer to find the right guy and "settle" with him. This IS a dating site after all. How many women out there are talking with 60+ guys but simply not being honest about it... At least I'm upfront about it! | |
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| Are too many favorites a turn off?
Posted: 8/7/2007 2:41:48 PM | | Yes, too many favorites are a turn-off with me because I would feel like I"m wasting my time sending an email that wont be replied to since you are too popular. | |
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| Are too many favorites a turn off?
Posted: 8/7/2007 2:59:07 PM | | A_Cool_Guy: I'm going to be very careful to not try and offend you however, did you read any of my previous posts? I reply to everyone that contacts me. And I mean everyone. Even if it is only to say, I'm flattered but I'm not interested. | |
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| Are too many favorites a turn off?
Posted: 8/7/2007 3:28:45 PM | Not really a problem. Yeah it's a little intimidating. But if I'm interested in a girl, I don't think about whether I have a chance, I just try and see what happens. She could be a super-model on 10, 000 favorite lists. There aren't that many people in my area, so it's worth a shot.
Some girls that like me just happen to be hot, some aren't. The fact that they are hot doesn't really change anything. They see the world with the same eyes as everyone else. They just get more options is all.
And as it happens, I think I MAY have a date with one of those 3 billion favorite list girls, even though I usually have a hard time getting any kind of a response at all, even with the no picture girls on 1 favorites list. | |
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| Are too many favorites a turn off?
Posted: 8/7/2007 3:33:47 PM | | Captain_Whatever: I have to say I really liked your post and I'm happy that you are so openminded! I hope that the date goes well for you! Keep up with the effort. I'm sure that it will pay off! And you're right, super attractive people just have more choices... don't know if that's good or bad... | |
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| Are too many favorites a turn off?
Posted: 8/7/2007 3:39:29 PM | Everyone looks at it with a different perspective, with my experience I can tell you the ones who are on many favorite list like 50 and above, they are here for either ; A) ego boost B) popularity contest C) they are here to just chat on line to fill their time when there is nothing better to do!
<div class="quote">it's simply a number and nothing more.
Are you sure? To me if you havent been able to connect with at least one of your 67 favorite list then you must be either unrealistically picky or you just take everyone for granted because there is plenty to choose from or maybe you fall into C category I just said above ?
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| Are too many favorites a turn off?
Posted: 8/7/2007 3:47:15 PM | | It's interesting how many people assume having favorites or being on a favorites list means anything more than what it is...being on a favorites list. I've met more people in the forums who put other forum posters on their favorites list because they enjoy reading their posts and it's an easy way to find new posts by them. I just recently deleted half of my 'who has you on their favorites list' because I din't know who they were, had never had contact with them, and never saw them in the forums; what's left is primarily women who post in the forum and a couple of men whose posts I enjoy reading. I figure if someone assumes all those people on there are men I'm in contact with, and they don't contact me due to that incorrect assumption, then it's probably a good thing they didn't as they're not the type of person I'd want to know anyway. | |
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