| Are too many favorites a turn off?
Posted: 3/10/2008 7:49:18 PM |
That is true if it's someone you've save d to your favorites. If it's someone who saved you to their favorites, the mail restrictions are overridden. I don't have the link handy but it's in the FAQs in the help/suggestions forum.
I had to remove my mail restrictions otherwise most people could not email me who want interformation about one POF event i have hosting and other i am cohosting.
The mail restictions are NOT overridden if you add a person to your favorites.
Some people add people to their favorites if they can NOT email a person because of mail restrictions. | |
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| Are too many favorites a turn off?
Posted: 3/14/2008 9:54:36 PM | | I think it is a bit of a turn off, if the woman has 50+ favourites. The reason is in my mind I would be competing with this number of men to get the woman's attention, and those are not really good dating odds, if you only have a 1/50 or 1/67 chance of 'hitting it off' with that woman in contract to 67 or more other rivals. | |
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| Are too many favorites a turn off?
Posted: 3/15/2008 10:17:13 AM | | I agree with most others. If they add me as a favorite and we have no contact within a few days I delete myself. Seriously, there's no point to it, unless I am being the standby in case the one you're talking to now doesn't work out. I only add people that I have talked to a few times to my favorites just so I can keep in contact with them. | |
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| Are too many favorites a turn off?
Posted: 3/16/2008 9:59:30 AM | | I think if you had 10 20 it wouldn't bother me, but if there were many more, i would not waste my time contacting you as you obviously have lots of admirers and are still on a dating site. | |
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| Are too many favorites a turn off?
Posted: 3/16/2008 10:46:18 AM | ...As I said in another similar thread, you cannot help who puts you on their favourites, and to be honest, most of them never contact you anyway....don't know why, but they don't. Also, I've been on this site for a bit so it makes sense that many of my friends , both male and female have me on their favourites.
...maeflowers | |
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| Are too many favorites a turn off?
Posted: 3/16/2008 6:27:10 PM | | Having a ton of 'favourites' doesn't even compete with the valentines card competition in elementary school... here it just shows that Plenty of Fish is just a hobby for you and your search just might be futile because of your judgement and unrealistic expectations. | |
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| Are too many favorites a turn off?
Posted: 3/16/2008 6:56:44 PM | While I'm new here, I've a sense that this favorites thing seems a little like social-engineering-- pandering to popularity-- and I've already seen it used against someone. Maybe the feature can be deactivated.
I'd rather that someone interested simply say hello with an email. | |
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| Are too many favorites a turn off?
Posted: 3/16/2008 8:54:04 PM | Yes, too many favorites are a turnoff. If I view a profile that I might be interested in and I see that the person is on 20 or more favorite lists, I don't contact her. Occasionally I see someone who has a profile that really feels compatible and then look down and see that she's on 50 favorite lists. Who needs the competition? I don't. I would rather message someone who I think I might have a chance with.
I only put those I've messaged. And generally, except in a couple cases, I only put a person on that I've had a message or telephone dialogue with. Before I put any others on, I ask them first if I can. Usually such a person is in another country or a thousand miles away and there is no chance I will date her or ever contact her. Why put her on my favorite list? Because her profile shows she has the same philosophy about life that I have as well as similar interests. She can delete it if she doesn't feel comfortable with me having her on my favorite list.
To repeat, though. I normally, except in rare occasions, will not contact anyone who is on 20 or more favorite lists, no matter how close our profiles are. | |
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| Are too many favorites a turn off?
Posted: 3/17/2008 1:24:39 PM |
Occasionally I see someone who has a profile that really feels compatible and then look down and see that she's on 50 favorite lists. Who needs the competition? I don't. I would rather message someone who I think I might have a chance with. Are you kidding me? Very reminiscent of "lowered expectations"- a skit in a comedy show... sorry if you missed it, but the sentiment you have expressed fits quite nicely..
You like what you see and think that there is a possibility that there could be compatibility, yet refuse to contact her because of what you are ASSUMING.... and then blame the number.. ? Wow.... truly astounding... projection at its finest.
Those women who have very few favorites (under your magic 20) may have just removed one hundred... or perhaps deleted her profile and magically reincarnated (happens ALL the time, trust me!)... all the while they may actually be dating multiple men simultaneously and have a ton of suitors that they are stringing along... but you know, it is the reduced size of the number that makes you feel safe regardless of what the truth may or may not be
Everything in her profile was of interest to you until you saw the number.. as though that somehow determines her character.. please.
I doubt I'll be back to this thread... the incessant ignorance is draining.
To repeat, though. I normally, except in rare occasions, will not contact anyone who is on 20 or more favorite lists, no matter how close our profiles are. Feel free to limit yourself unecessarily.. but at least acknowledge that the REAL reason is your own judgment, assumptions and insecurities. Good day | |
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| Are too many favorites a turn off?
Posted: 3/22/2008 1:51:08 PM | Thanks everyone for all of your posts and keeping this dialogue alive when I'm not around to do so! I'm LOVING the discussion and the back and forths but please I do want to remind that there are people on the other end of that screen so, please, be kind and no flaming! I want us all to have differing oppinions (that's what makes this interesting) but still respect that there is someone on the other end of your message and just because they don't share your oppinion does not mean that they are not entitled to theirs!
Peace and love... oh and some hugs thrown in too! LOL
OP
~Gwen~ | |
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| Are too many favorites a turn off?
Posted: 3/22/2008 2:07:22 PM | I'd say it's sort of a turnoff to me, as it does make me think that she's got all sorts of guys hounding her and I'd rather not be guy#2324325 that does that.
That's just my take on it anyways. | |
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| Are too many favorites a turn off?
Posted: 3/22/2008 2:28:31 PM | It makes me sad that you think that way for one simple reason. You could be passing on a great woman simply because of a number... I truly hope that is not the case and you have luck on here!
~Gwen~ | |
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| Are too many favorites a turn off?
Posted: 3/22/2008 2:44:18 PM | I usually end up emailing some of them, but it does kind of make me a bit leery as it's like I'm considered just another random person to add to that amount. It's not the only thing I take into consideration, but one of them.
But that's just my outlook on it anyways as I find it a turnoff. | |
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| Are too many favorites a turn off?
Posted: 3/22/2008 3:07:30 PM | | But really if you think about it the person who has lets say 5 favorites, but keeps their list trimmed may be recieving as many, if not more emails than the person who has 70 favorites. I think that the number is so silly and really if I had the choice for it to be displayed or not I would choose the not. Really the only people it should matter to is the favorite and the selector. Other than that it shouldn't, but does, mean something to anyone else. | |
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| Are too many favorites a turn off?
Posted: 3/22/2008 3:19:34 PM | Perhaps the # is silly, but seeing someone on 300 favorite lists doesn't exactly make me want to rush over and talk to them as they've probably talked to and seen damn near everything under the sun and I'd more than likely be another face in the crowd.
Also those testimonials from other dudes on their profiles don't make me want to talk to the person that much quicker either, major turnoff,IMO.
Just my $0.02 on it. | |
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| Are too many favorites a turn off?
Posted: 3/22/2008 3:52:22 PM | But you know to be a face in the crowd you have to allow yourself to be that and not stand out! I will never stand for mediocrity and I sall never blend in again.... I may be weird, loud, oppinionated and slightly off kilter but the people who really like me enjoy that about me and don't judge me for it, they love me in spite of it!
As for the testimonials, I know I have ones from males on my profile and I can attest that, again this is something that is subjective. One is from a gay friend of mine and the other is from my best friend in the whole world. I mean really... if they can't say something about me then who can? I have actually found out that a few (very few) who were truly interested in me actually took the step of contacting these guys and from what they heard they decided that I was someone they didn't want to miss out on. And both of those did devlop into relationships.
Don't just look at the cover....pick up the book and read a few lines!
IMHO
OP
~Gwen~ | |
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| Are too many favorites a turn off?
Posted: 3/22/2008 4:09:09 PM | Well to each their own I suppose.
And I'd like to think that the emails I send aren't bland and filled to the brim with "Hey baby, what's your sign?" and so forth and so on and still get overlooked, but that's the online dating game and that comes with the territory, so not much can be done there.
If I saw a whole slew of testimonials from a bunch of guys, I just find it to be a turnoff. I just don't like seeing a bunch of dudes on a woman's profile. Honestly I'd feel awkward about having to contact guys you went out with. That's just my view of it, of course the next person may feel differently. | |
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| Are too many favorites a turn off?
Posted: 3/22/2008 6:35:40 PM | | Not really.. I've messaged someone with over 300.. Got an email back within the same hour.. But, it's kinda risky :S | |
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| Are too many favorites a turn off?
Posted: 3/22/2008 6:42:41 PM | I'm sorry if I implied that your emails were full of "Hey baby, what's your sign? and so forth" that was NOT my intention. What I simply meant is that I tend to live by the "go big or go home" phrase. I don't let anything intimidate me.. whether it be a number or anything else. I go after what I want. If I don't get it then I know at the very least I tried.
Ok first off, I want to clarify, I wouldn't ASK anyone to contact them,..... they did that on their own accord. Second, those are my friends and really one of the most reliable sources of info on me. Even if it's only taken at face value and evaluated for what it is, my friends being nice, then you at least have an idea of how I treat my friends. And I'd hope that anyone I was with was, at the very least, a very good friend. And really, speakin about my own profile only, I have a mix of men AND women. So it's not just how my male friends see me. | |
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| Are too many favorites a turn off?
Posted: 3/23/2008 12:41:45 PM | | yes, it would because to me it says your all over the place...do you know what you are looking for? what type of guy intrests you or just take anyone who wants to chat? keep it under 25 guys, cause really how much time do you have to date if your e-mailing 70guys a day???... | |
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| Are too many favorites a turn off?
Posted: 3/23/2008 12:57:36 PM | | I do know what I want and what I'm looking for. I will chat with anyone who takes the time to write to me, but that does not necessairily mean I'm going to have chemistry with all of them! And to add AGAIN not everyone on my list is date material. Lots are friends and people from the forums. and BTW I never claimed to be sending off 70 emails a day. I keep in contact with those on my list, but in no way does that mean I send them an email once a day.. sheesh!I wouldn't have a life at all! | |
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| Are too many favorites a turn off?
Posted: 3/23/2008 1:18:58 PM | | angry, angry, you came here to ask a guy? well... what you will get here is the truth...not what you want to here or think you should here...and as for having a life...guess what?? we don't...thats why we are here..lol! | |
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| Are too many favorites a turn off?
Posted: 3/23/2008 1:23:27 PM | | I'd still find it a turnoff as I would be put off by seeing you have so many men saying how great you are and what have you. I don't think I'd be inclined to want to initiate contact after seeing so many guys on a woman's profile,that's just how I see it. | |
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