| Are too many favorites a turn off?
Posted: 7/13/2008 11:44:41 PM |
To you guys: would me being on this many favorites lists prevent you from contacting me? Would you choose NOT to contact me because of this?
Truthfully yeah. I am not going to speak as a spoksmen for the rest of the male population, but I wanted to quickly respond to this. Yes, it turns be away because I personally am shy by nature and if you are looking for long-term for example and are on close to a hundred pther memebers favorites, I figure you are already closer to finding what you are looking for then I am.
I have sent out a few emails to a few people with high numbers there and generally, if I do get a response, it is usually, "I have found someone and trying to make it work. Thank you for your interest though."
Besides, if you have that many, and are getting flooded with emails, how do I know you will even look at mine? You do not know me...... know what I mean? At least this is how I look at it. | |
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| Are too many favorites a turn off?
Posted: 7/14/2008 6:35:35 AM | Yeah I agree it's a turn off. Competition for attention is the number one annoyance for dating or any social networking site. A large favorite list just shows a hassle and good chance your message won't even be read.
I don't even bother, dealt with too much of that in the past. Even if I do get noticed then what? The constant stream won't stop for them. | |
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| Are too many favorites a turn off?
Posted: 7/14/2008 7:16:16 AM |
Who the hell cares? Most of mine are forum buddies and friends I already know.
I think the original intent of the OP was to find out if it really is a hindrance to finding someone.. I think clearly some people do care, otherwise this thread would not have reached 26 pages  | |
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| Are too many favorites a turn off?
Posted: 7/14/2008 7:31:11 AM | I guess it would bother some that are looking for something .Me I don't care I'm not looking for dating, friends only. | |
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| Are too many favorites a turn off?
Posted: 7/14/2008 8:04:04 AM | Yes, I find that it can be. If you're looking for "Friends", then it looks as if you have a nice little network going - Go Girl!. If you're looking for "dating" or "long-term", and you have an ongoing large favorites count, it looks as if you are advertising your popularity (or trying to validate your popularity). If you actually regard them all as your favorite, and are communicating with them on here, then you have too much time on your hands. Either way, I just move on. I'm not a buffet item.
Cheers,
Norm | |
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| Are too many favorites a turn off?
Posted: 7/15/2008 8:21:03 PM | Yes, it seems here that being on too many favorites list is a turn off for most men
•A lower number will result in more emails, so if you want more emails…
•The type of bold confident guy women seem to imagine overlooking the favorites turn-off… do you actually think they are on this site? (in defense, there are lots of wonderful guys here, but many may not be the best at approaching women, so that’s why they are here, like, duh)
•Being on a favorites list is one step above “viewed my profile” and one below a “wink”
•I’ll bet you are on so many favorites list precisely because you contacted so many people.
•Definitely cull your list. You will be more… inviting, if your # is low.
•Or not, it doesn’t matter, unless you want more emails
•And people judge, assume and react. Don’t forget that. They can be wonderful people, but they’re still people. Do you set the bar that high for your friends and family? First impressions are important. And you’ve already made yours by posting a profile.
•The favorite’s # is not nearly the most important factor, but it is one, so work accordingly. Or did we think we could just sit and others would do all the work? Just because it is online doesn’t mean it is not dating.
•The myspace factor is a turn off too.
•But then again, favorites are those you are interested in talking to.
•So if you bookmark forum buddies on your favorites, say so on your profile.
The more important question is are you contacting people?? I’ll compare sending out emails to “getting out there” in the real world…. Current clear photos and interesting, not too long or too short or too crazy bios are like diet and exercise. Favorite numbers are like ironing.
I would also venture that both men and women shop on this site…. But women might examine a lot of profiles closely, then maybe mark favorites (or only after emails/forum connections) while a man probably bookmarks (favorites) right away, adding to his shopping cart, then cull the list down from there to which he then emails.
Here’s something I would like to see on POf…. An unsolicited email saying “your profile caught my eye, etc, and there is this interesting forum going on, why don’t you chime in- I’d love to hear what you have to say”.
Another thought… we, as a people, have not developed online dating into anything new, it’s simply the old ways of courting, but with an anonymous element that allows for crudeness; things done in isolation that would never be done (or with such intensity) at a bar, etc.
To the guys:
•Yes, usually when you add a woman to your favorites she WILL notice you, so better be prepared to contact her.
•If someone adds you as a favorite… contact her.
Dear OP, will you be kind enough to deliver a synopsis of this wonderful thread? It sure is hell wading through all 26 pages....  | |
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| Are too many favorites a turn off?
Posted: 7/15/2008 9:57:06 PM | ^^ that is by far the most intelligently delivered reasoning I have read for why it is seen as a turn off to men.. and you did it without sounding like your tail is permanently lodged between your legs or overshooting your mouth in blanket judgments to correct for the same.. well done :)
The type of bold confident guy women seem to imagine overlooking the favorites turn-off… do you actually think they are on this site? I must be imagining the emails in my inbox then huh?  | |
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42 4 U
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Joined: 2/18/2008
Msg: 634 | |
| Are too many favorites a turn off?
Posted: 7/15/2008 11:57:43 PM | It makes no difference to me at all how many favorites lists someone ( including myself) is on.Since theres so many more men than women on here, most women are on 50 or more lists, so its just normal to see that on here. I only add someone to show interest, and to get them to read my profile before I message them. If she removes me, or doesn't view me, it saves me the disappointment of taking time to write a message that won't be of interest to her, so its all good. Since they added the " viewed me" link, I mostly just do that now  | |
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| Are too many favorites a turn off?
Posted: 7/16/2008 10:28:07 AM | "The type of bold confident guy women seem to imagine overlooking the favorites turn-off… do you actually think they are on this site?"
Well, that was probably a little overboard... just trying to stress the reality of dating sites- (hell the bar scene isn't quite like Sex in the City, either). I guess the point is to not take anything so seriously, except yourself.  | |
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| Are too many favorites a turn off?
Posted: 7/16/2008 6:37:35 PM | I think the more favorites the more it's a turn off.
Hahahaha
I would NEVER want to be with someone who is used to THAT much attention.
It would be a freakin nightmare.
Oh yeah, it WAS a freakin nightmare.
Stay away vampires!!! *Gets holy water and UV lamp*
Take it however you want it, I'm on only 1 person's favorites.
And I don't even know who the hell that person is.
So the answer is yes.
Many people on favorites is a definite turn off for me. | |
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| Are too many favorites a turn off?
Posted: 7/16/2008 6:44:34 PM | initially, i find that it puts me off a bit making first contact with someone, mostly for the reason "why would they be intrested in me when they have others" type thought.
but then when i think about it, f you have constant contact with them then thats fair enough, think a clean out of them would help every now and then.
personally i only have one person thats favourited me lol  | |
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| Are too many favorites a turn off?
Posted: 7/16/2008 6:45:07 PM | More favorites is a good thing. It is like being endorsed. It is like being popular in school.
People, men included, feel more secure and generally prefer to make popular choices.
If a woman has been here for 6 months and has fewer favorites than typical for her region and age, it makes a reader wonder why. | |
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| Are too many favorites a turn off?
Posted: 7/16/2008 6:53:03 PM | "If a woman has been here for 6 months and has fewer favorites than typical for her region and age, it makes a reader wonder why. "
Could be she zeros them out like I do. I am here for the forums only though. | |
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| Are too many favorites a turn off?
Posted: 7/16/2008 7:12:09 PM | As I said before, who cares?
Attention? What attention? Oh yea...
"Hey baby, you're cute"
"You're sexy"
"What's your bra size?"
"Wanna chat?"
"Do you have a cam?"
"Wanna hook up?"
"What's up?"
"Do you like sex?"
"You're hot"
That's the attention they're getting. I really wouldn't worry about the fav count. Men on this site will add anyone with boobies to their favs... The question is "are they getting any decent hits?" Well, if they did, they wouldn't still be here now , would they? | |
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| Are too many favorites a turn off?
Posted: 7/16/2008 8:39:23 PM |
As I said before, who cares?
Attention? What attention? Oh yea...
"Hey baby, you're cute"
"You're sexy"
"What's your bra size?"
"Wanna chat?"
"Do you have a cam?"
"Wanna hook up?"
"What's up?"
"Do you like sex?"
"You're hot"
That's the attention they're getting. I really wouldn't worry about the fav count. Men on this site will add anyone with boobies to their favs... The question is "are they getting any decent hits?" Well, if they did, they wouldn't still be here now , would they?
Some women have flirting muscles bigger than their heart. | |
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| Are too many favorites a turn off?
Posted: 7/18/2008 3:08:41 PM | What I'm going to say has probably been said on numerous pages of replies, but there's no way I'm going to read them.
Yes, too many favorites is a turn-off.
If you're one of those people that has been favored 200 times, then there is something so monumentally wrong with you that I wouldn't waste the time glance at the rest.
Why use this site as a popularity contest? Go get a my space account already. Nobody cares there either. It just makes the profiler look pathetic and desperately insecure.
Guys mostly use favorites as a way to break the ice and to flatter women, so if you're not interested, just remove them.
Now and then women I'm not interested in add me as a favorite, then they usually delete themselves before I have the chance to remove them. But men seem to want to keep this big file full of favored females, you know, like a library of ****. They should know that this is just as moronic as the women keeping a long list of men that have no chance.
The only exception, I suppose, would be the select few that are too far away to hang out but that have an obscure connection that is very rare.
I guess you have to ask yourself; "Do I want 67 boyfriends?" | |
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| Are too many favorites a turn off?
Posted: 7/18/2008 3:51:05 PM |
If you're one of those people that has been favored 200 times, then there is something so monumentally wrong with you that I wouldn't waste the time glance at the rest. Guess I should just delete all of my faves and THEN I would be an okay person 
Unbelievable. | |
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| Are too many favorites a turn off?
Posted: 7/18/2008 3:56:12 PM |
Guess I should just delete all of my faves and THEN I would be an okay person
Unbelievable.
No need sassy....being aquarious means your all kinds of okay! | |
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| Are too many favorites a turn off?
Posted: 7/18/2008 4:24:45 PM |
Guess I should just delete all of my faves and THEN I would be an okay person Oh yes we should all do what other people think we should so we could appeal to them...(sarcasm off)
I don't get amazed that often, but it does amaze me how so many people really seem to expect that anyone and everyone should do exactly, say exactly and think exactly like they do or they're wrong, warped, screwed up, a loser....ad nauseum. The mating call of the terminally single.... | |
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| Are too many favorites a turn off?
Posted: 7/18/2008 7:59:24 PM | I wouldn't look down on woman that has a lot of favorites but I would feel I would be a waste my time to contact someone who probably is already overwhelmed with e-mails.
I use to add women to my favorites lists but from what I have been reading in the forums some of them take offense to this so I don't unless someone adds me first. | |
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| Are too many favorites a turn off?
Posted: 7/18/2008 8:13:32 PM | | Yeah it is a turn off.I see all those favorite and say why would I want to know her.I would want to be special and this makes me feel like I'm just another on a list. | |
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| Are too many favorites a turn off?
Posted: 7/19/2008 7:50:04 AM | I agree with bucsgirl. I have to delete who puts me on their favorites list a couple of times a week, but it keeps growing. 50% of these men I have never even talked to.
I would like you to send me an email before you add me as a favorite.
And as far as my favorites list, I don't have very many, but it does have to be weeded out occassionaly because some add themselves back. Ones that I talk to on a pretty regular basis, or ones I don't want to lose contact with because I am not on line all the time I like to keep on my favorites list. I think I have about 10 right now. I don't see that as a really big number. | |
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| Are too many favorites a turn off?
Posted: 7/19/2008 8:14:01 AM | If the profile has a ton of favorites due to a well writte profile or some good forum posts then its not a turn off at all.
If the the profile has a ton of favorites due to "Hey look at my chest" pics, then yes it is a turn off. | |
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| Are too many favorites a turn off?
Posted: 7/19/2008 10:43:31 AM | Wow guys ....thanks so much for the continual posts... I really didn't think this would be AS big of an issue as it is.
I really do love reading all of the posts, even the negative ones. I think the forums are the BEST tool for looking into what someone is like as you can REALLY see the... negativity that spews from some people.
I've experienced a blooming in my list recently and did exactly what I liked with those favorites. The way I see it now is that I have some really good friends on here and some people that are just too far away but I wish to be in contact with. If someone looks down on me for that.. well oh well then onwards and upwards.
There are some SHOCKINGLY great men on here.... I've been talking with a couple as of late (just in the getting to know stage now) and seeing where things go (crossing my fingers) and all of those guys didn't seem to mind my photos/profile length/friends list/testimonials. I've actually gotten some REALLY nice responses from them and I've been told they liked all of that. I think that, good or bad, everyone is going to get some form of unwanted attention. And really all that matters is how you conduct yourself.
And again guys... please remeber that there are people on the other end of these words. Try not to flame or be beligerent/rude to others. I know I'm not a mod or anything but I really don't like it when people are being attacked. Embrace the love! LOL
OP
~Gwen~ | |
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