| Are too many favorites a turn off?
Posted: 7/19/2008 1:21:41 PM | I wouldn't open a girl who is on too many favourite lists.
It's a competition thing. Why the hell would I want to be the 37th guy today posting "lol i think ur pretty wanna hook up sometime?" | |
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| Are too many favorites a turn off?
Posted: 7/19/2008 3:22:07 PM | I know this is already a long post, but I'll pitch in my 2 cents. When I sift through profiles, the first thing I look at is the general information at the top. After that a cursory glance through the pics, then I read their hard-text profile information. If they don't have anything there (i.e. the 'Lol message me to find out'), or if I'm not liking what I'm reading, I move on. After I look over the profile, I then look at the favorites list at the bottom. If it's some crazy number (like 100+), then there's not a chance in hell I'm going to waste time on yet another '(un)read/deleted' message. If it's a lower number (like 10 to 40) and I really liked their profile, then I'll make the effort and send them a message.
However if the pics show cleavage I could swim in, attractive body shots, tats in tantalizing locations, them trying out their swim-wear or sports bra, etc... I'll usually jump straight down to the Favorites listing and check the number... If it's 80+... I'll just close it and move on without bothering to read anything more. After all, what's the point if they're too busy drowning in 'LOLZ DATEZ ME PLEEZE'. | |
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| Are too many favorites a turn off?
Posted: 7/19/2008 4:42:05 PM | Yup. I think you have your results.
Definite turn off.
Just to add a speculation on the guys (or gals) that repeatedly add you as a favorite after you have removed them, I just use the "block user" feature on pof., assuming that you've had contact with them.
So there really is no excuse for being an AW, for this is suppose to be a somewhat realistic social dating site. And in reality, if you dated someone, how could you truly respect them if they either had 50 or more guys conversing with her from time to time, or cut off their connection with all of them at once. Kinda shows what kind of person they are. Not that they're bad people, just not the type that I, or many others true catches, would want to date.
But not too late to change your ways. Just cut it down to those to whom you would actually date. I guess if it's 50 men, it's 50 men. But you might just lose your chance at the one that would make you the happiest.
:) | |
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| Are too many favorites a turn off?
Posted: 7/19/2008 4:47:45 PM | "add you as a favorite after you have removed them, I just use the "block user" feature on pof. "
Just an FYI, read the help/suggestions or FAQs, blocking can only be done if contact is made. Email, IM, you can't block someone who adds you to favs without that. | |
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| Are too many favorites a turn off?
Posted: 7/19/2008 4:48:49 PM | | 10 or 500 it makes no difference, oh yes, as Darwin would say the dif could be 10 or is it! or Einstein would insist 490 is the dif, I say who cares. | |
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| Are too many favorites a turn off?
Posted: 7/19/2008 7:05:07 PM | It's all good, right? It's clearly a case of networking and keeping in touch with folks that turn you on, make you feel good or want an index to quickly at the point and click of a mouse. When I review and scan the images, it's usually the interesting women that breach through 200, 400, 600+ favorites. I've seen a few fellas that are very popular in these forums, posting interesting msgs and they rarely can break 100 connections. The fact is that woman have no problem dancing, talking and being open with each other - so they communicate regardless and will mark each other to keep in touch with... how many guys do you see marking each other as a favorite... unless that dude shares a special hobby or something.. Us fellas don't do a good job of reaching out to each other.. at least not in this forum because we're here mainly for the woman, and thus we log many hours reading about them and marking them as favorites too.
All in all, a popular person is usually an interesting person because they share their personality. We shouldn't hate because they are well liked - but at the same point, someone that is not as popular could be just as likable. If we took a moment to find out - we might be surprised just how nice they are... :)
Make it a great year all and remember to spread the good news of being good to each other...makes it a lot easier in the end to make a new friend!
Warm Regards,
John | |
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| Are too many favorites a turn off?
Posted: 7/21/2008 8:42:58 AM | My Theory is that men "favorite" women whether they have made contact with them or not, maybe so that they can kind of bookmark them for future reference -- to contact her when he gets brave enough to write or just in case the thing he's got going on now does not work out.
Also, as a woman, we do receive a lot of emails from dating sites, that's just the way it goes, but that does not mean that we date them all, or any. My favorites counter is pretty high, but have only agreed to meet maybe 3 people in person.  | |
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| Are too many favorites a turn off?
Posted: 7/21/2008 10:38:37 AM | I only had to check your pictures to see you're a fun girl who attracts people.
Of course you're on favorites lists. Guys love fun girls...hate drama queens.
I'll add a woman sometimes to my own favorites I have no intention of contacting. I do it to let her know I think she's very cool...nothing more. I assume some of your admirers are doing the same thing.
If I was younger and looking you over, I'd say it's a plus that so many guys like you and make contact. | |
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| Are too many favorites a turn off?
Posted: 7/23/2008 5:48:47 PM | Thanks all so much for your continued posting.
There were a couple of post that I wanted to address directly.
Swain: If you had read the majority of the thread, at all, you'd know that there is no defined answer. If anything for every yes I get to the question I get twice as many No/Not really posts. And then there are those that used to be a yes and are now a no. There is no clear winner in this catergory as there are just as many people who don't care/don't worry about the number as there are people who think it is a turn off.
Amigo4u: Thanks so much for the lovely post! I thought it was wonderful and brought a smile to my face and I thank you for that! I wish your wonderful attitude upon more people!
pokerjimmy: Thanks so much for the nice post! It's nice to not be attacked for my profile and I'll say it's a DAMN shame you aren't my age! I like a strong, positive attitude and the women your age are lucky to have you! | |
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| Are too many favorites a turn off?
Posted: 7/23/2008 5:54:48 PM |
My Theory is that men "favorite" women whether they have made contact with them or not, maybe so that they can kind of bookmark them for future reference -- to contact her when he gets brave enough to write or just in case the thing he's got going on now does not work out.
More or less. I don't insta-spam any girl I see that I like, so if I've still got some I'm waiting to hear back from, I chill out. If I see someone new who I might want to talk to, I "bookmark" her in Favorites and get back to her. Sometimes that results in her looking at my profile in response and contacting first, which is rare but a bonus.  | |
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| Are too many favorites a turn off?
Posted: 7/23/2008 11:18:05 PM | I didn't read all 27 pages of comments, but I personally don't care how many favorites lists someone appears on. I personally have zero people on my favorites list. I don't really see the point of favorites unless I really have some relationship with that person, or if I'm using it specifically to gain exposure (like you'd get from accepting friend requests on myspace). If I just like a member's posts, that's usually not reason enough for me to favorite them.
Ironically, the best interaction I've had with any woman on this website was with a girl who appeared on over 300 favorites lists. Favorites lists just mean that someone has been favorited. Even if it meant that she was actually chatting with with 100's of guys, it didn't matter.
If you are worried that you are missing opportunities because guys don't like the fact that you are on so many favorites lists, OH WELL. I mean what can you do about it anyway? You can't control who adds you to their favorites list.
Well there's my answer. Hope it helps. | |
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| Are too many favorites a turn off?
Posted: 8/7/2008 9:20:53 AM | Yes.
When a woman has over 200 favorites and is still on POF, that's a very strong indication of a possible entitlement attitude. I would think that most of the over 200 guys on her favorites list have contacted her. Or she has contacted them to say "thanks" or some such obligatory pleasantry showing an indication of good manners. So, out of those 200 guys, not one is suitable for her? Hmmmmmm, that's a very serious red flag. She's obviously looking to find reasons to reject a man, not accept him. That's a very negative approach to life and goes against my generally optimistic outlook.
Or worse, it indicates she's just collecting some online attention in order to fulfill her ego's needs and really has no intention of going out with any particular guy. This is another massive red flag. With an ego that requires so much attention, this woman is clearly too insecure to merit consideration for even a single date. | |
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| Are too many favorites a turn off?
Posted: 8/7/2008 9:50:33 AM | Actually, I think it's rather helpful! You may be able to get better :)) guys that way.
Sorry, didn't mean to offend anyone here. Guys with higher self-esteem, potentially,
guys who are not afraid to compete. The downside you may get those who just don't give a damn. IMHO | |
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| Are too many favorites a turn off?
Posted: 8/7/2008 10:03:20 AM | And another things I noticed with favorites. Once I wrote something really-really simple like " a warm, open friendly girl ... etc" in my profile, truly nice and sweet.
I was swamped by e-mails ....And people would be adding me to their favorities like crazy. While what I wrote is absolutely true about my personality, these qualities are not the ones to define me and make me unique. So I change my essay couple times, and the response and, excuse me, the quality of people raised accordingly. I may not get literally hundreds of e-mails now, but I do get more emails from people potentially more compatible with me. | |
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| Are too many favorites a turn off?
Posted: 8/7/2008 10:26:28 AM | and one more thing, Sorry, i just can't shut up today!
I find this things with favorites is actually has a place in real life.
My friends and I realized that sooo many times a good-looking girl might find herself
alone, or in a wrong relationships, because many people are afraid to approach her
thinking she must get sooo much attention already, and they aren't good enough.
It's a paradox. | |
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| Are too many favorites a turn off?
Posted: 8/7/2008 10:35:38 AM | Well, I think the guys that self-select for contacting women appearing on way too many favorites lists would generally fall into one of three groups:
-guys who contact everyone, using the Boomhauer approach to get women
-guys who are arrogant/cocky enough to think they're that spectacular that they'll stand out
-guys with a poor grasp on statistics, who either are wiling to waste their time they could be spending pursuing women more likely to respond or have the lottery mentality... or they just have unlimited time because they're unemployed.
A woman on 100 favorites lists might fall into the 'too many' crowd, or not. One with 800+ though... that would definitely be too many. | |
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| Are too many favorites a turn off?
Posted: 8/7/2008 10:40:22 AM | | the problem is if you contact all these guys all the time you will not get a chance to know me.so i would not contact you.my question would be are you interested in all theses guys or just flatered they like you i clear my favorites everyday. | |
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| Are too many favorites a turn off?
Posted: 8/7/2008 10:40:26 AM |
guys who are arrogant/cocky enough to think they're that spectacular that they'll stand out
Why do you refer to it arrogant? Isn't it a true self-confidence?
Which btw I think is the main turn-on for women.
In fact, arrogance denotes the lack thereof, IMHO. Just a way to cover
inferioty complex | |
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| Are too many favorites a turn off?
Posted: 8/7/2008 10:51:38 AM |
My friends and I realized that sooo many times a good-looking girl might find herself alone, or in a wrong relationships, because many people are afraid to approach her thinking she must get sooo much attention already, and they aren't good enough.
It's a paradox. Apparently an unresolvable one.
I couldn't agree more, and then it is the attractive girl who is seen as a snob or high maintenance or anything else to distract from the truth.  | |
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| Are too many favorites a turn off?
Posted: 8/7/2008 12:24:37 PM | It's a paradox. No it not. It's usually self inflicted. In my 20 and 30s, I dated a few 10s and 11s and to tell you the truth, they wave their god given luck like a weapon. Sometimes violently, sometimes oh so subtlety. I ignore them completely and swore them off long ago. Enough with the "me, me, me, I want, I want, I want, I, I, I, ..." I did date a few since, but were well disguised by their personality.
I find women like this somewhat standoffish, hiding beneath fashion and a cover girl smile, because they can't match the image they parade.
Are you an outgoing babe with morals, personality, and ambition? Give me a call. | |
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| Are too many favorites a turn off?
Posted: 8/7/2008 12:47:03 PM | To Eightguysnamedlou,
I think it is very unfair to judge the number of people that have had someone add them as a favorite. I don't even know the majority of the people that have added me. That number has no reflection on me personally. | |
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| Are too many favorites a turn off?
Posted: 8/7/2008 1:01:26 PM | | Its the whole tia taquila thing....we wonder if your in it to meet that one person or you just like the status. I am guessing its not the first part but to me yes it is. Its kinda that are you just talking to everyone or do I have A chance. So yes to me it is A turn off. Normally if I see your on that many favorites why bother...but thats just my opinion. To be honest im starting to like the idea of meeting people to talk to and dont care anymore about the dating these forums are simply fun. | |
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| Are too many favorites a turn off?
Posted: 8/7/2008 1:02:12 PM | | Is it just me or is 27 pages of responses to this question just stupid???? Who cares how many profiles you are a favorite on.....Just like no one needs to know how many people you have screwed in the past....You got a past?...well, big deal...so does everybody.....Just don't be screwin' 'em while you are with me. | |
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| Are too many favorites a turn off?
Posted: 8/7/2008 6:39:41 PM | | I have heard about the spank bank guys collect...when my pic was up I would go down the list and send each a message...if I got no reply I deleted them....its also a great way some of the weird stalking freaks can follow you....I only need one who cares if 176 guys want to do me....lol | |
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| Are too many favorites a turn off?
Posted: 8/7/2008 6:51:00 PM | In short, yes. I don't bother sending messages to women with more than 5 favorites.
Here is why:
most of my favs I have not spoken to for ages or do not even know
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