| Are too many favorites a turn off?
Posted: 8/8/2007 11:06:40 PM | The number of favourites that someone has is just one part of the profile. It's not one, single thing that will determine whether or not I feel the need to contact someone.
What obviously catches us first is a person's picture. If that draws me in, I'll take a look at their profile, read -all- of it, then decide if I want to make contact. The favourites list thing DOES play a factor for me, however. If they have an abundance of them, I'll likely move on.
If the profile hits me well enough, I'll take the time to contact them anyway. It's just that people who have this many favourites makes me think that they're getting contacted with a (exaggerated) billion emails per day, and I wouldn't want my time and effort spent writing an email to be wasted in the midst of the drowning.
Again, as I say, it's not a huge factor, just one of the few. | |
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| Are too many favorites a turn off?
Posted: 8/8/2007 11:09:06 PM | | Also, I, for one, don't really care for the favourites system myself. The only time I've used it is when I've been sleepy before bed and I noticed someone that I wanted to make contact with, so I added them. At whatever point later, I'd send them a contact email, then delete them from my list. Unless I am thoroughly impressed by this person and really consider them a 'favourite', I'll throw them on - and that's if I even think of it. I just don't really want to be part of the whole favourites game that a lot of people on POF play. ;) | |
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| Are too many favorites a turn off?
Posted: 8/8/2007 11:42:00 PM | | The number of favorites is certainly a mitigating factor in determining whether or not to contact somebody. It's definitely a part of the big picture, anyway. I'll never make first contact with somebody unless I find something interesting in their profile (I don't really care HOW pretty she is), and I always make sure that first contact is personal and heartfelt. Well, that takes time and energy, and with the sparse number of replies I get anyway, trying to get the attention of somebody who's already got sixty or more people trying to get their attention just doesn't seem to be a good investment of my time or energy. Sorry, but it's the nature of the dating web site beast...I guess I've just tried too hard, and been ignored way too many times to not become at least a LITTLE cynical about the whole thing. ;) | |
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| Are too many favorites a turn off?
Posted: 8/9/2007 2:02:53 AM | Gwen, sometimes feel that there might be a popularity contest out there, and if someone seems popular superficially by a favourites' number then they might assume wrongly or not that the person has so many great guys talking to her or females if it is a man. I don't have a lot of people on my favourites and some of them I wouldn't want to date, and a couple of them I would seriously consider it, and I limit who I add. People when they add you can be complimenting you for various reasons. I have contacted females with many favourites and sometimes didn't even notice the favourites if I just really just noticed her. Anyway, an on-line ignore, like I said, means nothing, in the end, because I won't remember who I e-mailed, and they won't remember either not that I have been e-mailing a lot of ladies as of late; I am not.
I could question whether someone will e-mail me if they have so many favourites, but if the person's profile really speaks to me, I will say what the hell and send an e-mail.
People who attack others for having a lot of favourites are unleashing their jealous feelings and insecurities, so they can find outside blame for their lack of happiness...
That's not the way to go... | |
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| Are too many favorites a turn off?
Posted: 8/9/2007 2:38:54 AM | It is to me.
I think it is kind of like the "myspace" game. How many friends can I get. I'm not really a person that is concerned with quantity of friends, but quality. | |
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| Are too many favorites a turn off?
Posted: 8/9/2007 4:30:05 AM | i guess i would avoid anyone with so many on a favorites list,
with so many other people around where would one find time for any serious relationship? | |
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| Are too many favorites a turn off?
Posted: 8/9/2007 9:22:39 AM | gwenivere_1,
You look tasty enough to attract planetary systems out of the sky.
I wouldn't worry about having yourself added to too many favorite lists.
:P | |
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| Are too many favorites a turn off?
Posted: 8/9/2007 9:51:57 AM | JOhhnyboy I said that exact same thing in a few post back and a couple of girls attacked me going so says the chick who only has 9 favorites LOL I get lots who add me if I dont talk to them I remove myself from them . I told them to me its a TEEN thing like myspace , I gave them the whole buck thoughts on it instead of just 2 cents LOL
as i said in message 75.........
Yes im here to get to know someone not see how many I can add ... goes backto QUALITY not QUANTITY | |
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sum67
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Joined: 12/28/2006
Msg: 84 | |
| Are too many favorites a turn off?
Posted: 8/10/2007 1:20:08 PM | Sometimes. However, I've had replies from people with hundreds of favorites, and no replies from some with hardly any favorites. I say "sometimes", because initially you tend to think when you see someone with lot's of favorites you won't get any response, so it can be a little intimidating...but don't let it stop you, is my suggestion.
One other thing...there are many people who keep their favorites trimmed, and might have only a handful, when normally they would have perhaps several hundred. So if your thinking this pretty girl only has 5 favorites, and figure your email will be read and replied to because of the low amount of favorites, you might want to consider that she might have pared her list down quite a bit! | |
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| Are too many favorites a turn off?
Posted: 8/10/2007 1:27:16 PM | | Remember many girls with 200+ favorites are still online after 2 or 3 years.. so the collection of dudes often means little or nothing.. Girls are extremely picky. | |
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| Are too many favorites a turn off?
Posted: 8/10/2007 2:01:12 PM |
JOhhnyboy I said that exact same thing in a few post back and a couple of girls attacked me
chrissi... you were not attacked at all.... you attacked us... by saying because we have a high amount of favs we are like kids trying to score points....
I have stated... I AM NOT SINGLE.... i don't need to score points... I am here for friends and forums and have the pleasure of talking to many far and near.... why is that a problem to you??? GET OVER IT and grow up will ya
we are not all here to sell ourselves... we like and want to make friends from all over the world and I for one am proud that I have done just that  | |
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| Are too many favorites a turn off?
Posted: 8/10/2007 2:11:23 PM | | Actually sometimes I contact a woman who's on a lot favorite list's so I can find out what the buzz is all about. | |
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| Are too many favorites a turn off?
Posted: 8/10/2007 2:15:01 PM | It is for me also. These women are most likely getting an avalanche of emails every day. My time is very limited so why should I bother emailing something that most likely won't even get read? Once in a blue moon I will try and contact someone whose profile I found irresistable but again it's like taking a shot in the dark or buying a lottery ticket. It may pay off but most likely it won't.
I don't have high hopes here anymore but the forums are fun and educational. | |
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| Are too many favorites a turn off?
Posted: 8/10/2007 5:00:52 PM |
That's interesting. I'm on a bunch of guy's favorites lists but a lot of them have never contacted me. I would hope that being on someone's favorites list wouldn't keep someone from contacting me. It's not MY fault I'm on their list, lol.
Exactly! I have only exchanged messages with 3 members who have put me on their favorites. Heck I even have older men that have added me. Maybe they like to see my stupid meaningless posts here. I could see how it could be entertaining for them on a lonely friday night. "Oh there goes brokensmilensj rambling on about something that doesn't even make sense. Oh well, at least she has a nice smile." | |
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| Are too many favorites a turn off?
Posted: 8/10/2007 8:46:54 PM | First off I apologize that I went AWOL for a bit.. wasn't ignoring anyone... just had ALOT going on and didn't have time to post back here. Now for some catching up:
The Black Knight: LOL.. thanks for the addition my dear! 69 is my favorite #... LOL. Let them read into THAT post!! LMAO
seabreeze_0702: Thanks for the great post. LOL.. you have certainly gotten the point across that it is not a matter of who is on your list but the interest that you have in the other person. For the right guy... I would give up all favorites!
christi66: I'm sorry that you only have a limited number of people on your list. But for you to come to this forum and post saying that we're acting childish by having people add us to their list is the pot calling the kettle black. You are acting very childish by judging us on the decision that we have made to include people in our lists, when you have made the choice to remove them. To each his own my dear.
D-Rave: I'm glad that you will at least consider more than simply, "oh she has too many favorites, I'm moving on now". You are right in saying that some people do collect favorites... though some do not and I think that the judgments that I have seen paint all people with the same brush.. which is simply not right on any level.
Scott_ftw: I'm really sorry that your POF experience has made you cynical about this whole thing. I can assure you that at times I wonder what the point of it all is... but then I remember that if I'm not in the game then I can't win.... here's to hoping for a win!
Seavoyage: Thanks again for the posting. I'm just saddend that it has come down to this in the online world. It is a sad state of affairs when someone can be FAULTED for being nice and liked!
JonnyBoy239: This has been covered in the previous posts. Some of us are NOT playing games and looking to collect favorites (thought some are I can conceed) and it is WRONG to tar all with the same brush.
OleTimeMusic: Here's the question... what if you pass your Ms. right by simply because of a # on a page? What is the harm of sending ONE simple email?? Nothing to lose except a minute of your time and EVERYTHING to gain...
NightsSky: Thank you for the compliment. I am concerned that Mr. Right may be passing me by simply because of a number on a page. But from this thread I have come to realise that if he does then he CAN'T be Mr. right.
christi66: Again... no one attacked you and I think it is very wrong of you to judge us on a personal decision, simply because yours is opposite to ours!
sum67: I think you have summed up quite nicely the point that I've been trying to get across in this post. Don't let a # stop you! There is SO much to be gained by ignoring that #. And your comment about paring down a list is quite true. If I had kept all the favorites on my list I would have been well over 100 by now. so 67 isn't that bad!
planotodd: Thank you!!!! A gentleman with sense!!!! Thanks for your post!
Princess Leigh:LOL.. you told her where to go didn't you?? LOL. Thank you sweetie for your continued postings.
Doouglass: This is a very good point, contacting her to see what the fuss is about. Who knows.. it could all be hype or the real thing but unless you take the chance you'll never know...
Tigger59: There are people who win the lotto. And besides you can't get picked unless you try at least!
Daves-an-RN: I'm really sorry you feel this way.
brokensmilensj: LOL. I'm sure that they contact you for more reasons than one! Thanks for the post.
sorry for the MASSIVE post! Just had to catch up! | |
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| Are too many favorites a turn off?
Posted: 8/10/2007 8:53:03 PM | | Not at all, what does matter to me is the attitude that the woman with all the "favorites" has. I get the impression that some women let it go to there heads and they think that because they are on a lot of favorite lists that they are the greatest thing since sliced bread. If they are down to earth about it as I get to know them as a person then who cares about all the favorite lists. It's about them as a person and the attitude they give off to others. | |
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| Are too many favorites a turn off?
Posted: 8/10/2007 9:11:50 PM | Well.. if I were a guy.. no, would not stop me. You seem like a nice person.. so why would the amount of favourites be a deterrance to contact you?
The amount of favourites does not make a person who or what they are... that was decided long before POF.... its how they are able to handle being on 'X' amount of lists. | |
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sum67
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Joined: 12/28/2006
Msg: 94 | |
| Are too many favorites a turn off?
Posted: 8/11/2007 2:12:49 AM | | Well Bailey, you are a perfect example! You have 270 favorites, so...how about it, tell us how it's like, do you get a lot of emails, are you overwhelmed, does anyone stand a chance to contact you, or are you able to basically pick and choose? | |
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| Are too many favorites a turn off?
Posted: 8/11/2007 4:58:36 AM | | you shouldnt let it discourage you! most of the men who add me to favorites have never even sent an email. i never even look to see how many im on but i get emails saying "wow! you're on lots of mens faves!" so take a chance...if a girls interested it dosnt matter how many favorites shes on...she'll write you back:) | |
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| Are too many favorites a turn off?
Posted: 8/11/2007 8:16:27 AM | rosesforyou: I'm glad that you are able to see that there is a person beyond the number and you are willing to go ahead and make the effort to see if there is more there. Thanks for this post, I wish more men had the same attitude!
Baileyd: Thanks for the compliment! You would be surprised how many men DO find it a deterrant from contacting me..but I'm still hoping to find the one who won't!
sum67: Bailey seesm like the type who would make time for everyone. Besides, a woman who is that beautiful would have many favorites.
lookinbill: Thanks for the post. I'm glad that it isn't a turn off for you.
Paivarinta: What is the harm in trying? I've porbably belaboured this point to the death but if you don't try then you won't even be considered... and what if she is the right person for you and you never took the chance because of a number??
lydiaholiday: Thank you for this post. I hope that people will start to realize that the numbers that are on the page are just that.. numbers and really don't mean one way or another that you will or will not get a message back! | |
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| Are too many favorites a turn off?
Posted: 8/11/2007 8:21:07 AM | Just a quick add on note to the last post:
The more people that post here, the more I begin to realize that it seems to be split right down the middle. Some consider it a bad thing and some consider it a good thing to have many favorites. I will continue to keep my list just as it is and if the right guy comes along, hopefully he'll be able to look past the number and just see me. Here's to hoping! | |
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| Are too many favorites a turn off?
Posted: 8/11/2007 9:04:41 AM | | I have to preface this by saying that I have no intention of contacting any woman, but do check profiles to get an idea of who is posting, what they may be like or where they are coming from. I have seen a direct correlation between the number of people who have a woman as a favorite and her picture. If she is very good looking, shows cleavage, cheesecake, or any kind of sexy or provocative pose, then guys will fall all over themselves to put her on their favorites lists. Just look at a woman's picture and try and guess how many have her on their favorites. I have seen some that I guess are on more than 100 and I am right far more often than I am wrong. Congratulations to the women who know what sells, but they may not always like the buyers. | |
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| Are too many favorites a turn off?
Posted: 8/11/2007 9:20:32 AM | As far as being nice, it is very hard to be nice. Sometimes being nice can put at serious risk. I remember I gave so much the last time and boy did I get burned like Jeanne D'Arc by the British soldiers (exaggeration) or John Huss.
I continue to be nice, but I am cautious about what I give. I don't mind the compliment of someone putting me on their favourites. If all these women thought I was awesome and did that, I would apprecicate that.
It is a nice compliment. I may be dissuaded in some cases to respond to a person who has lots of favourites unless something my gut tells me she is an awesome person that I really should contact. If I have that feeling, then I am going to contact her. But I will also look at the girls who seem so nice and overlooked as well. The bottom line is this - do I fancy her or not. Anyway, in the end people also look at how people sound on this forum. I, for one, sometimes can feel from the words written on the "cyber pages" if the person is a pretty decent person. | |
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