| Are too many favorites a turn off?
Posted: 8/11/2007 12:26:46 PM | first its CHRISTI ... second i said the exact same thing as johnny boy i named no names i merely said those with over 100 favorites reminds me of the teens on myspace acting as if its a popularity contest .. an go figure princess .. first thing you did was point out I am only on 9 favorites ... ( making like it was just that a popularity contest )
there is no way someone can talk to 125 people on a personable level all the time unless they spend every waking day on line .
I stand by my thoughts of QUALITY beats QUANTITY anyday . | |
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| Are too many favorites a turn off?
Posted: 8/11/2007 12:45:25 PM | I wouldn't say it's a turn off - but it can be a bit discouraging. Personally I don't like to compete - if there's a dozen other guys all going after the same woman, I'm not going to jump in the fray like one more hungry wolf. I'd have to see something really exceptional in her profile to change that.
On the same token, I also have different interests when it comes to women and I've noticed a trend that the women whose profiles I find most attractive tend to be on fewer favorites lists - I'm just attracted to a different kind of woman. And half the time I don't pay attention to how many favorites lists they're on anyway.
As far as MY favorites list - I usually only add a girl to my favorites because I can't think of what to write at that moment and I want to remember to write her in the future when I CAN think of something (I'm really not very good at introductions/first meetings). That you respond to everyone who adds you is one of those truly exceptional things and makes you unique. I can't even get a response from a girl when I write her a message, much less for adding her as a favorite. | |
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| Are too many favorites a turn off?
Posted: 8/11/2007 1:47:58 PM | I won't initiate a contact with anyone that has more than 10 favourites or who doesn't have 2 roses to send.
I can't be doing with the competition.
I delete favourites if we are not in regular contact. | |
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sum67
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Joined: 12/28/2006
Msg: 104 | |
| Are too many favorites a turn off?
Posted: 8/11/2007 4:54:22 PM | ^^^^^^^
Well Richard, good luck with that attitude. I think, not quite, but close to everyone I have either contacted (and received replies), or have contacted me, have over 10 favorites, most of the ladies I find that have less than 10 favorites do not have a picture on their profile.
It's funny, it's just like that beautiful girl in the bar that have guys staring all night, but no one has the guts to ask her to dance because they are too intimidated. Same thing happens here, with the favorites list.
Anyways, only 10 favorites isn't even CLOSE to being intimidating! Lol. | |
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| Are too many favorites a turn off?
Posted: 8/11/2007 5:59:25 PM | I really don't see that the numbers really make a difference 2 or 200 I don't look at it like its competition...I couldn't care if she had 400 if I find her interesting I will message her...
I think its great when a woman messages me...even though I have a few favs...
so if she has only 2 favs ,but you find out she has 20 male friends in the real world...what then...
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| Are too many favorites a turn off?
Posted: 8/11/2007 8:14:11 PM | Krimiariver: "I have seen a direct correlation between the number of people who have a woman as a favorite and her picture. If she is very good looking, shows cleavage, cheesecake, or any kind of sexy or provocative pose, then guys will fall all over themselves to put her on their favorites lists." and this is not EXACTLY the same thing that happens with men and the same type of pictures and such?? I think it's sad that it's ok when it's a guy but if a woman has alot of favorites then she has to be an attention seeker.
"Congratulations to the women who know what sells, but they may not always like the buyers." darlin... it's buyer beware on this ENTIRE site! Some people look completely innocuous and then turn out to be creepy/scary.
Seavoyage: Thanks again for another great post! I'm glad that you continue to be nice and that you do overlook the amount of favorites and contact them anyway.
CHRISTI: I apologize if I offended you by posting your name as christi66 as I was simply going by what was on the name above the picture. Now I would like to address your post.
First: I was not trying to make it out to be a popularity contest. That was YOUR posting as YOU originally stated "it remind me of myspace when you seen the teens adding tons of friends to look cool and popular". You did not need to name names as you later stated "a couple of girls attacked me going so says the chick who only has 9 favorites" and then went on to say that "I told them to me its a TEEN thing like myspace, I gave them the whole buck thoughts on it instead of just 2 cents LOL". Now who's being plain mean when all I did was ask a simple question? I'd rather be a princess than a mean person any day.
Second: I never said you could "talk to 125 people on a personable level all the time unless they spend every waking day on line." This was not even close to what I posted and had you read my original post or even the subsequent ones where I went into further depth and explained that most of the people on my list were NOT contacted EVERY day or even on a weekly basis. Some are there just to be tracked in the forums and some are simply friends I check in with to see how they are doing.
I do apologize if this is coming off as rude but like receives like and I have found your posts to be of mean spirit and am responding in kind. Again, thank you for posting and on this subject I'll have to say that we'll have to agree to disagree.
puf_the_majic_dragon: Any way you slice it you are competing. Either here or just out in the "real world" for the attention of a woman that you find attractive. Also, you should be aware that though the list may show only a few people, they may be being contacted by MANY more people than you are seeing and thus your competition is much higher.
richard2007-2: Wow.. you have some strict standards...and as I posted above keep in mind that though the list may show only a few people, they may be being contacted by MANY more people than you are seeing and thus your competition is much higher.
sum67: Thanks for another great post! I liked your scenario and it is so true. There have been many times where guys have told me that they were attracted to me, after the fact, and I told them that had the acted they could have had the possibility of us dating. If you don't play you can't win!
000firefighter: Hiya! I recognize you from another of my posts on a different thread! Thanks for taking the time to post to mine! The point you make is simple and true that the list may show a few favorites but it's the total you DON'T know that counts! And I'm glad you make the effort to contact someone no matter how many favorites they have! Good on you! | |
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| Are too many favorites a turn off?
Posted: 8/11/2007 9:05:43 PM |
puf_the_majic_dragon: Any way you slice it you are competing. Either here or just out in the "real world" for the attention of a woman that you find attractive. Also, you should be aware that though the list may show only a few people, they may be being contacted by MANY more people than you are seeing and thus your competition is much higher.
Well as I said, half the time I don't even notice the "favorites" number. Except mine. I always notice mine. After being on the site for 3 years I got my first favorite today - I was so excited! :D
Anyway, back to the subject, for me personally "too many favorites" means an extraordinarily high number - at least 3 digits. And usually, most of the girls with that many favorites don't have a profile that interests me anyway. I tend to be more attracted to that freckle-faced girl in the back that nobody ever notices. But to the point, when I said that a girl has to show something truly exceptional for me to write her - that's true in all cases whether she's on everyone's favorites or nobody's. As I also said, I'm not very good with that initial contact so all too often I just avoid it, regardless of her favorites score or any other factor. | |
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| Are too many favorites a turn off?
Posted: 8/11/2007 9:35:22 PM |
Krimiariver: "I have seen a direct correlation between the number of people who have a woman as a favorite and her picture. If she is very good looking, shows cleavage, cheesecake, or any kind of sexy or provocative pose, then guys will fall all over themselves to put her on their favorites lists." and this is not EXACTLY the same thing that happens with men and the same type of pictures and such?? I think it's sad that it's ok when it's a guy but if a woman has alot of favorites then she has to be an attention seeker.
You may well have a point but most of the pictures of guys that I see here next to their posts seem to be very ordinary and to tell the truth I do not check out many of their profiles. I never said it was ok for a guy (that was your own inference), but it seems to be particularly true of women and you did not deny that.
"Congratulations to the women who know what sells, but they may not always like the buyers." darlin... it's buyer beware on this ENTIRE site! Some people look completely innocuous and then turn out to be creepy/scary.
To be honest, I don't care how innocuous, creepy or scary anyone looks here because I will not have anything more to do with any of them other than interacting with them on these forums. But when questions are asked, you get opinions and opinions are like ***holes--everybody has one. Some you like, some you don't. Such is life. | |
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| Are too many favorites a turn off?
Posted: 8/11/2007 9:43:22 PM | | The question that comes to mind for some people I'm sure is "What can be the reaon why this person has x amount of favourites and not have found anyone" especially if it starts to get in the triple digits or around there. | |
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| Are too many favorites a turn off?
Posted: 8/11/2007 9:58:36 PM |
The question that comes to mind for some people I'm sure is "What can be the reaon why this person has x amount of favourites and not have found anyone" especially if it starts to get in the triple digits or around there.
Good question. | |
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| Are too many favorites a turn off?
Posted: 8/11/2007 10:52:52 PM | Not at all.
Once they get an email from me, I am sure they are going to drop all the others anyway! 
I have been on several other such sites and I am intrigued by all the information that is available to me about what others are doing. Oh my gawd, the ladies can see the same about me?? No more posts on the sex topics! | |
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| Are too many favorites a turn off?
Posted: 8/12/2007 5:51:49 AM |
I am very picky on who has me as a favorite if I dont have constant contact with them of some kind .. I remove myself , Now ive had one guy ask if he can put me as a favorrite cause he likes things i say in the forums . But for the most part I keep it small , and if they add me and dont talk I remove myself .
Ditto | |
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| Are too many favorites a turn off?
Posted: 8/12/2007 6:21:46 AM | | OP, the philosopher Robert Zend stated, "There are too many people, and too few human beings." Out of the number of "favorites" that a person has on there list they may just find that one human being that is right for them. On the other hand it is annoying and frustrating for this person on the decision making end if they should put forth an effort to a person that has "favorites" that lead up into hundreds. This is my two cents.............. | |
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| Are too many favorites a turn off?
Posted: 8/12/2007 6:38:53 AM | I once had this guy email me and on the first email told me that he noticed how many guys had me on their favorites list and was put off by it because he didnt think I would have the time to respond. (theres approx 29 that have me on their list).
My thoughts? If he was that put off by it then why send me an email? I seriously dont even think that 29 people is alot, some girls have over 100.
The overwhelming majority of the guys that have me on their favorites list that have never even contacted me, anyway. I think that's okay too, if they want to just keep "looking" at me then that's fine. It's not like they are bothering me, ya know?
I believe that it's all just a distant, informal electronic way of "not planting all of your baskets near just one egg" per se. | |
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| Are too many favorites a turn off?
Posted: 8/12/2007 7:00:59 AM |
I think haveing a reasonable about is allright but when I see someone have 100 or more come on give me a break , it remind me of myspace when you seen the teens adding tons of friends to look cool and popular .
that was your opinion... I disagreed with it and stated you had 9 as from reading the above you sounded very child like that you didn't have as many so felt the need to insult us who had... I offered advise to get to know people on the forums and be nice.... I was not being biatchy
does it matter how many favs people have? AGAIN... it is nothing to do with trying to beat the next person..damn one of my friends has over 400... why? because she is a lovely genuine women who will gives wonderful advice to others and people adore reading her posts... UZP hope your reading this lol....
a lot who have a high fav list have so because they like to keep tabs on users who use the forums as they admire their posts....
NO... Idon't talk to all my favs list people... but if they add me(mostly from the forums)I take it as a compliment that they enjoy reading my posts... that is all there is to it.
You are on here to find someone... I am not.. I am on here to make friends and enjoy the forums... a big difference
first its CHRISTI
why are you getting upset with someone using you full user name? that is what you have called yourself no one else no?
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| Are too many favorites a turn off?
Posted: 8/12/2007 7:02:45 AM | Hi all,
I find this post interesting, but I guess when it comes down to it, " Favorites" is a personal choice..and it really doesnt matter what ppl think. If those on this site are closed minded & narrowminded enough to judge you by a number then thats a personal choice. If you like feeling special with a huge number of ppl adding you to their lists, a personal choice. I really wouldnt worry what others think, its you own personal choice how many ppl you want to have contact with.
Personally I like to be on lists ONLY with ppl I have contact with( if you have alot of contact then again..see above comment), if someone doesnt message me..I give it a week or two, then I clean em out. I find it insulting really..to have ppl looking at my pictures yet not contacting me..blahhhh. So as you see again, personal choice, but hey isnt everything! :) | |
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| Are too many favorites a turn off?
Posted: 8/12/2007 7:58:35 AM | ktzmeow wrote:
Personally I like...
That's what it's all about: "Personally I like". Each of us has our own personal choice and it doesn't mean one is more right than another. Most of these forums are about personal choice and personal opinion with so many trying to claim that their's is the only right opinion. On and on it goes. | |
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| Are too many favorites a turn off?
Posted: 8/12/2007 8:08:07 AM |
The question that comes to mind for some people I'm sure is "What can be the reaon why this person has x amount of favourites and not have found anyone" especially if it starts to get in the triple digits or around there.
So.... are you saying that if you gathered up 200 random people from random locations with random backgrounds you are SURE the ONE person that is right for YOU would be in that group? If it were that easy, none of us would be here.
I read every email I get, and the profile of the sender. I doesn't matter to me the number of people who have added my profile to their favorites, and it has no bearing on whether I will be interested in the next person who emails me. Maybe that next one will be THE one. I never bothered deleting myself from people's favorites because I thought it wasn't hurting me in any way. I'm surprised at the number of men who say the number intimidates them. I never even look at a guy's number of favorites when considering sending them an email. | |
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sum67
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Joined: 12/28/2006
Msg: 119 | |
| Are too many favorites a turn off?
Posted: 8/12/2007 8:15:48 AM | | Well, the longer you are on this site, the more likely you are to accumulate favorites. Some of the ladies in the hundreds of favorites I see online all the time, and have been here awhile to boot. Many are here just to read the forums of course, and not really even looking for a partner. Usually you can tell what they are up to if you bother to take the time and read their profiles. Some I truly believe just want to date endlessly, and would be the "players" of the female variety. Those I can spot as well, as they never post on the forums, but are endlessly online every time I login, yet have hundreds of favorites, shouldn't they be out on a date by now? | |
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| Are too many favorites a turn off?
Posted: 8/12/2007 1:07:08 PM | Doesn't matter how long you've been here, you're not necessarily going to accumulate a lot of favorites. I'm into my third year and I'm on a grand total of four. Unless of course you are a nice looking woman, they can build up a list of 100 or more in no time but again it doesn't mean that these women even know or had contact with most of these men.
I do think that a lot of women on here aren't actively looking. I think a lot of them are spending time developing cyber-friendships and just having fun chatting via email. | |
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| Are too many favorites a turn off?
Posted: 8/12/2007 1:17:44 PM | Not a turn off but it is kind of intimdating....most women who get that many emails dont respond to all of them...so.....how does a guy stand out and have a chance when he is competing with that many other guys?.....I will tell you....in my opinion, looks is what stands out...
But if a girl states that she will respond to all emails then I think the number of favorites does not matter.....because a response, be it good or bad , matters a lot. | |
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| Are too many favorites a turn off?
Posted: 8/12/2007 1:41:10 PM | in my opinion, looks is what stands out...
Bobby, I agree. Even if they do respond to each email I think the order of response is from the best looking guy on down. But try and find one woman on here who will ever admit that..  | |
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| Are too many favorites a turn off?
Posted: 8/12/2007 1:53:01 PM | ^^^Goodness... that would make responding to the emails a whole lot harder. I write back in order in which I get the messages. Otherwise... one would be going all over the inbox pages.  | |
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