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Show ALL Forums  > Ask A Guy  > Threesomes - two men, one lady - How does it affect the relationship?      Home login  
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 IdoAllmyOwnStunts
Joined: 1/24/2006
Msg: 26
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Threesomes - two men, one lady - How does it affect the relationship?Page 2 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
i find threesomes make for a lot more work on laundry day
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 tommiezz
Joined: 10/3/2006
Msg: 27
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Threesomes - two men, one lady - How does it affect the relationship?
Posted: 8/9/2007 7:26:44 AM
My girl & I have watched porn with 2 guys & a girl. She gets so excited thinking about double penetration. We talked about doing sometime in the future but I don't want to mess up our relationship. She says it will only about a hour and "so whats a hour?".What do you think? I would rather have a threesome with 2 girls & me.
 h0ldfast
Joined: 12/19/2006
Msg: 28
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Threesomes - two men, one lady - How does it affect the relationship?
Posted: 8/9/2007 7:36:49 AM
If everyone's okay with it, what's the harm? I think that mature adults should be able to handle it.

Sadly, I haven't managed to have a threesome, although once I shared a woman with another guy, unintentionally. She hadn't quite broken up with him when she started dating me, and was seeing him on nights where she wasn't with me. She told me about it when we broke up. I think it bothered her more than it did me, and she was actually annoyed that I wasn't jealous. I think that if we two guys had threesomed her, it would have been more in the open and possibly less damaging to the relationship.

If you're thinking of trying out a MMF threesome, it doesn't hurt to talk about it with your fellow. Of course, in exchange, you might have to bring in another woman sometime. It's only fair.
 Nice guys rock!
Joined: 7/15/2007
Msg: 29
Threesomes - two men, one lady - How does it affect the relationship?
Posted: 8/9/2007 7:40:47 AM

A guys threesome fantasy is 1 man, 2 ladies. I wouldn't want some other guy banging my girlfriend at the same time that I was...that'd just be creepy and uncomfortable...



I don't think a person who really loves someone would want anyone else doing "sexual" things to them.

As far as the 2 women thing......... What is the second woman for? I am usually ready to go to sleep when I am done. Why would I want to not satisfy 2 women? One is bad enough. I guess the second one is to clean up the mess, make breakfast, or something.

 moocowfat
Joined: 6/8/2007
Msg: 30
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Threesomes - two men, one lady - How does it affect the relationship?
Posted: 8/9/2007 8:44:04 AM
Unfortunately for the OP, others have derailed this topic into a moral issue and the like. I highly doubt she's asking for permission or moral approval wether it be on a personal, religious or family level.

/endrant

As it was said before Codedout, prolly has the best, if not most logical post about the topic at hand, thus far. I have never been in a similar situation as the OP's guy. (Heck all the gals I've been with have been boring in the sack :( ) But this is my opinion on the matter anyways.

Threesomes in a relationsip can and do work. They can and also fail and break people apart. Really it just comes down to how people are, what they like dislike, what they are comfortable with. A sexual adventure such as this I would think, would require alot of trust, honesty, alot of self-respect and a whole lot of openminded-ness, from each of the participants.

I think a threesome in a relationship could work out, just as long as everyone is honest about what they want from this and don't bring in any hidden agendas, fears, insecurities or false expectations into the mix. But ultimately one should always balance the risk vs. the reward.
------

Anyways I'm gonna go delete this profile now, as I've prolly just killed my chances just by posting here! lol /jk /wave
 NightsSky
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 31
Threesomes - two men, one lady - How does it affect the relationship?
Posted: 8/9/2007 9:02:40 AM
I hate to say it.

But men who want to watch other men have sex with their wives and girlfriends have latent homosexual tendencies.

 Oriole
Joined: 6/30/2007
Msg: 32
Threesomes - two men, one lady - How does it affect the relationship?
Posted: 8/9/2007 10:28:10 AM

I hate to say it. But men who want to watch other men have sex with their wives and girlfriends have latent homosexual tendencies.

Even assuming this is true and not just bigotry... Who cares? What difference does it make to anything that the guy may or may not find other guys attractive?
 moocowfat
Joined: 6/8/2007
Msg: 33
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Threesomes - two men, one lady - How does it affect the relationship?
Posted: 8/9/2007 12:48:27 PM
"I hate to say it.

But men who want to watch other men have sex with their wives and girlfriends have latent homosexual tendencies."

Wow.... don't know where that came from, doesn't make any sense to me.

To me a guy who wants to watch other men (or women) have sex with their SO, is just "really" sexually adventurous..... either that or he likes watching his porn first hand.
 Double Cabin
Joined: 11/29/2004
Msg: 34
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Threesomes - two men, one lady - How does it affect the relationship?
Posted: 8/9/2007 2:15:14 PM
Heterosexual men are generally quite phobic of other naked penises in their immediate vicinty, particularly when they are aroused.
 As you wish....
Joined: 12/28/2005
Msg: 35
Threesomes - two men, one lady - How does it affect the relationship?
Posted: 8/9/2007 3:34:57 PM
"Heterosexual men are generally quite phobic of other naked penises in their immediate vicinty, particularly when they are aroused."

Man, double cabin, the way some of these people enjoy seeing their wife get banged by their buddy, it wouldn't suprise me if he gets off to seeing his son in the bathtub....
 1TallMomma
Joined: 6/2/2006
Msg: 36
Threesomes - two men, one lady - How does it affect the relationship?
Posted: 8/16/2007 5:36:04 AM
Well the "other" guy ended up falling for me.. and my guy at the time started questioning me, thinking I liked "him" more.. and I was going to cheat with "him" and blah blah blah. So, not cool in my experience.

And my opinion is, if you need someone ELSE to be brought in the bedroom for you and your partner to feel "closer", it needs to be someone with a PhD in psychology!
 Morning_Glory_
Joined: 1/6/2007
Msg: 37
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Threesomes - two men, one lady - How does it affect the relationship?
Posted: 8/17/2007 8:17:11 PM
Moocowfat thank you for at least understanding what it is I'm saying.

I'd like to email you but I am restricted (age), not about this topic so don't get your hopes up. (LOL!) Anyway, if you'd kindly shoot me an email first, I'd appreciate it.

As for everyone else - I'm not even going to argue or try to convince you of the appeal. At the moment its all fantasy, not auditioning anyone for the third player - male or female. As for the relationship itself, its very close and very refreshing to be with someone who can talk openly about fantasies and fetishes without feeling like your being judged.
 Sincerely Goofy
Joined: 7/25/2007
Msg: 38
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Threesomes - two men, one lady - How does it affect the relationship?
Posted: 8/17/2007 9:09:04 PM
wow, I haven't seen such a pit of homophobia and spurious speculation in a loooong time




When balls touch, people die
seems to be the theme in here

Here's something to really bake your noodle; what if the 'couple' was the men, and they're both bi? The female is just a friend?

Here's something else to bake your noodle; there are tons of places where this happens all the time.
www.swinglifestyle.com will give you a place to look, if you're so inclined.

There are relationships, rules, and comfort zones of all sorts. I can see that just the question has folks freaking out, so obviously you're on the conservative side of the continuum. But please understand, not everyone is just like you, and there is no 'one true way' - unless you are devout in a faith that says otherwise. If that is the case, that's just as good and right a way as any other. Your way =/= my way.

Please understand, people; there is no one true way. Not in society, not in family, not in finance, and certainly not in sexual intercourse.
 Keithslegacy
Joined: 6/20/2007
Msg: 39
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Threesomes - two men, one lady - How does it affect the relationship?
Posted: 8/18/2007 1:29:47 AM
I think that's one of things that REALLY have to be decided pretty early on.

In other words, you either have an Open Relationship right off the bat.......or I wouldn't even mess with it.

So many issues that can come up when Monogomy is broken, and there has to be a LOT of TRUST and a LACK OF JEALOUSY between the two to do something like that and not blow a BIG hole in the relationship.

I'm talking from experience......My ex girlfriend and I tried the Open Relationship thing as a Last Ditch Relationship Saver.....and it wound up hastening its end.
 Heathenesque
Joined: 7/17/2007
Msg: 40
Threesomes - two men, one lady - How does it affect the relationship?
Posted: 8/18/2007 9:56:38 AM
I am completely amazed at some of the immature attitudes of some of the posters here. It boggles my mind. Just who the hell died and crowned you the Morality Police? Everything is in black and white to some of you. Get a grip... LIFE is shades of grey! Learn it, live it, love it.

There is nothing wrong with being wholly monogamous. If that's the way you're wired, then it's the way you're wired. But just because you cannot see yourself doing a multiple doesn't make it wrong, or evil. It just makes it wrong for YOU. If you wish to point out the possible pitfalls that can occur in a multiple relationship, that's fine. THAT was what the OP asked for, after all. Just stop being so judgmental about it.

Hurtful comments that insinuate a woman wanting to be in a MFM triad is a slut, or a man who wants to see his mate in the throes of passion with his best buddy doesn't love her, are useless and they do nothing to answer the OPs question (And don't any of you consider it the least bit hypocritical that a FMF triad is A-Okay?)

If everyone involved in the triad is an adult with all their mental faculties intact, and no one is feeling pressured into doing something they don't want to do... why do you care? Does it affect YOUR life in any way? No? Didn't think so.

'Morality' is a personal choice. Only YOU can decide what is moral or not... for YOU. And as long as you're not breaking any laws, you can shuffle and stack your morality chips any bloody way you want. But where is anything written that gives you the right to decide what is moral for anyone else?

THANK the GODS that there were some wonderfully, intelligent and well-thought-out posts here, or you might have chased the OP off with your mob mentality.

*steps down off her soap box*
 Tigger59
Joined: 7/30/2005
Msg: 41
Threesomes - two men, one lady - How does it affect the relationship?
Posted: 8/18/2007 12:32:10 PM
I became involved in a threesome once waaay back about 25 years ago when I was still young and single. (2 girls) . It wasn't planned on my part but just kinda happened but that's another story.. As for going at it being the third party with a couple, I really don't know if I could do that or not. Probably not, but if the girl was smoking hot and I was very aroused it's just possible that I could change my mind.

I went out with a girl once who was a member of a swing club and was looking for a male partner who would go there with her. I thought about it for a bit but then declined.

I tend to think that physical intimacy should be a private matter between two people. But if anyone else is into something else, I say have at it and enjoy.
 Hanks Profile
Joined: 6/22/2007
Msg: 42
Threesomes - two men, one lady - How does it affect the relationship?
Posted: 8/18/2007 12:48:58 PM
Bad idea, I think. A friend of mine did that with his wife - her idea. Afterwards, he said he could never get the image of another guy screwing his wife out of his head. They finally got divorced.

Years ago, I went out with a woman who suggested she bring her girlfriend over for a little fun. As tempting as that might of been, I passed. Figured it would be just a matter of time before she asked me to return the favor by bringing around some other guy. Just her suggesting it kind of killed the relationship in the end.
 peterjol
Joined: 8/10/2007
Msg: 43
Threesomes - two men, one lady - How does it affect the relationship?
Posted: 8/18/2007 3:43:17 PM
Involving a third party of either sex in your 'fantasies' is a great way to get turned on but it's best kept to being just a 'fantasy' .........however exciting the 'thought' making it a reality is emotionally far too risky if you care about your relationship.
 danika24u
Joined: 4/28/2007
Msg: 44
Threesomes - two men, one lady - How does it affect the relationship?
Posted: 8/22/2007 11:23:55 AM
Well I am part of a scenario where my partner is marreid, (not to me) and he is bi, and we play together with the 3 of us!

So, now my partner and our lover are ok with this.........we are open, safe and honest.....i say do it!

You only live once, and people want to judge you, well they can just judge me too cuz i am ok with MMF........it is extremely HOT~~~~~~~~
 Acting Out
Joined: 7/24/2007
Msg: 45
Threesomes - two men, one lady - How does it affect the relationship?
Posted: 8/22/2007 11:51:30 AM
I say go for it. Whatever you are comfortable with.. go for it. We are still technically 3sum virgins and plan on staying that way until we find the right person. But so far we have had a couple of opportunities for "soft play" and it has been very freakin hot! I love the freedom my husband has given me to explore my sexuality. I love the fact that is it so exciting for him to be part of this experience so far. The important thing is respect and communication. As I say.. whatever you are comfortable with. Do not allow yourself to be coerced. If you want to stop at any point, stop. Make sure you go into it with with all the ground rules in place. Some people have rules like no kissing on the lips.. doesn't apply to us but maybe it does to you? With us it is more of an upfront knowing that anyone can stop any time and there are no hard feelings (no pun intended) If you want to write to me privately you may.

Good luck..
 forever_young87
Joined: 7/3/2007
Msg: 46
Threesomes - two men, one lady - How does it affect the relationship?
Posted: 8/22/2007 12:28:51 PM
I've never tried a 3some and wouldn't want to. I've never understood why some guys wouldn't get angry watching another guy with their girl, if you truly care about her it should bother you! As for 2 girls 1 guy, unless it was with a couple hookers no way! If my girl wouldn't get jealous watching me with the other girl it would bother me. Watching her with the other girl? Yawn. Boring. I hate lesbian porn.
 montanan76
Joined: 3/11/2007
Msg: 47
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Threesomes - two men, one lady - How does it affect the relationship?
Posted: 8/22/2007 12:55:11 PM
"...if you truly care about her it should bother you!"

Your words tell the reason why people are able to participate in threesomes or more.

There are two distinct type of relationships. The first (and less common) is the relationship built on love and 100% committment between two people and no others. The second is the relationship built on love without the committment.

Those in the second catagory well enjoy a variety of sexual experiences with others besides themselves because they lack committment to each other which affords lesser levels of jealousy, etc.

Those in the first catagory being tempted to try sexual experiences with others and do it usually soon end up at odds with each other because they lose that high level of committment they once had to each other that comes from loyalty of mind and body. When they loose it, they end up feeling like a large part of their relationship just got up and left and is never coming back. Things are never the same afterwards.

I have been there and did it both ways. If your other half has jealousy issues, a three-some is a sure fire way to turn a small crack in a relationship into a good sized canyon.

I would not recommend a threesome or more to anyone in a relationship no matter how secure or unsecure that relationship is.
I would say if your curious, do it with other single people. Less problems all the way around to experience during and afterwards.
 LuckyFlask
Joined: 8/6/2007
Msg: 48
Threesomes - two men, one lady - How does it affect the relationship?
Posted: 8/25/2007 2:33:47 PM
I have had several 3 somes and dont think they are a big deal either way, wether there are 2 women or 2 guys who cares. I enjoy taking turns tag teaming a girl with another guy, I have even been known to do a knuckle bump when a friend of mine and I are tag teaming two chicks doggystyle, some were in long term relationships and some were not. I have even done an 11 guy tag team on one girl. SHE TOOK IT LIKE A PRO. I dont think you have anything to worry about just do it enjoy it, life doesnt last forever dont be a prude with the poontang! These other people are saying its crazy and they would never do it when I believe there isnt one person on here that doesnt have a fantasy about it. Dont fantasize do it! Do it before its too late! Share your poontang with anyone your little heart desires and make sure you take it how you want it. Like a pro.

The Flask
 traderna3
Joined: 6/21/2007
Msg: 49
Threesomes - two men, one lady - How does it affect the relationship?
Posted: 8/25/2007 3:30:02 PM
"Man, double cabin, the way some of these people enjoy seeing their wife get banged by their buddy, it wouldn't suprise me if he gets off to seeing his son in the bathtub...."

hardly homo stuff, bunch of insecure guys responding here.
i've never gone this far, don't know if i could but i love hearing about what other guys did to my woman just because i'm ultra competative and i'm going to try to erase those memories in bed. nothing more, nothing less.
 Stella_Bella
Joined: 8/13/2007
Msg: 50
Threesomes - two men, one lady - How does it affect the relationship?
Posted: 8/25/2007 3:41:18 PM
Well, I don't agree with threesomes of any kind... is an even bigger NO NO when you have feeling for one of the parts.

Now, all seriousness aside, I am going to share my theory with you guys... and like I said, this is not intented to offend anyone with a lack of a sense of humor...

BUT

I think the whole two guy threesome is kind of gay!!! I mean, at some point the will be in contact with the other .... I dont know, I think it is gay to have your privates rubbing on someone elses privates... lol... even when there is a female in between...

Anyway, bottom line... not my cup of tea...
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