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 rghtgrl4u2
Joined: 9/8/2007
Msg: 26
what do women really want.Page 2 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
Lol.. wanting a horny man.. They are here.. Well packed well they say they are here too.. You want dishonesty they are here too..
I believe most of us want someone that can meet us on every level, emotionally, physically, spiritually and intellecutally. We want someone that will treat us with respect. Value our thoughts even if they don't agree with them.. Some one that is honest..Hard to find.
I think I would settle for someone that sees me for who I am and how amazing I could become with their nuturing. I just want someone that wants my needs and desires; willing to explore them with me. And still be there next day to savor yesterday and build on tomorrows adventure.. Ok is this a fantasy maybe but I want a man that is in it totally at the moment to heighten the experience or just take your baggage and head out the door with you illogical, obstreperous ,self-centered idea of what they need.. Hey we don't ask for much.. and I guarantee that what you get in return far outweighs you must elucidate. You know what I want .... YOU!!!!
 dncrchick
Joined: 9/9/2007
Msg: 27
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what do women really want.
Posted: 9/17/2007 11:24:15 PM
LOL. ok...
1) I want someone in the army, airforce, marines, navy, ext. (i think it shows maturity, structure, disapline, compasion, and that they can do anything)
2) someone who loves unconditionaly
3) someone who pushes me to be my best
4) PERSONALLY someone who loves my son, and loves me for making the choice to keep him.. even thought the whole situation was a mess.
 hoppmeister1954
Joined: 9/4/2005
Msg: 28
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what do women really want.
Posted: 9/21/2007 12:32:55 AM
I have to agree with dewalt17a on his two examples. I can't tell you how many times I have run into either situation and it is frustrating. I also have to mention that I have run into so many women here who say in their profiles that they don't want to be judged by their appearance or physical attributes or lack thereof, and yet they will take one look at a guy and immediately they start judging. Let's stop with the double standards and the hypocrisy. Another thing. I see a lot of flirting and teasing by a woman on a first meeting or date, and then a guy finds out the woman didn't mean it, or the women get bent out of shape if a guy picks up on that and reacts or shows interest. Again, let's stop being hypocritical. Like I say in my profile. Say what you mean, mean what you say. Thank you.
 ImJustMeKevin
Joined: 2/20/2007
Msg: 29
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what do women really want.
Posted: 9/21/2007 3:21:53 PM
Rghtgrl4you Hurt my Brain LOL!!! I'd guess what women wants is a confident man who cherishes her and makes her feel special. Of course there has to be some amount of physical attraction and it's different for each and every one of us. Personally, I love that we are all looking for different things and what makes each of us "Happy" can be so different as well.

Kevin
 seattlekatie
Joined: 8/11/2007
Msg: 30
what do women really want.
Posted: 9/22/2007 1:03:12 AM
I also have to mention that I have run into so many women here who say in their profiles that they don't want to be judged by their appearance or physical attributes or lack thereof, and yet they will take one look at a guy and immediately they start judging.

Hoppmeister--that statement is so true. I have been on here for about a year now. I have learned a lot about what I want and about how I perceive others. It is funny but when you feel you know what you want sometimes it is hard to remember that you are not in a shopping center picking out the right cut of meat. It is more like picking out the right box of fireworks and being happy to see what oohs and aaahs will come when you light it off.

I also want to comment on some of the earlier BAD BOY statements. I used to always be attracted to the "bad boy" types. It wasn't until a few months ago that I realized what I was looking for was someone who knew themselves and were happy with the who they are .......of course I mistook confidence and****ness for the traits I was really looking for. I then thought I would try the self proclaimed "NICE GUY". Unfortunately it seemed that most of the men I encountered were SOOOO busy trying to please me that everything felt very out of balance. So I am curious if my wishlist guy really does exist.

I would love to find a guy who is comfortable with himself, secure in what he has and who he is. WANTS to be with a woman for more than sex. Is just a man going through life wanting to give, knowing that there are women out there who will give just as much back. I know there are a lot of us on this site, and we all have different wants and needs. Wouldn't it be fun if people who actually wanted the same things found each other??? Crazy thought eh?

Okay done rambling for now, I am sure the fever will break soon.
 hoppmeister1954
Joined: 9/4/2005
Msg: 31
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what do women really want.
Posted: 9/24/2007 2:04:01 PM
I just want to add something else too. One thing I have seen in a lot of profiles of the women who have viewed me is a common theme. In their profiles they mention that they like a lot of cuddling, displays of affection, kissing, etc., the usual physical contact type of thing. Yet down at the very bottom they say, "Do not want men looking for intimate encounters or physical activity." Do they think that all that physical contact isn't going to lead to intimacy or physical activity? It's no wonder us men get so confused and maybe why us men don't always respond to the women. Here is another good example of Say what you mean, mean what you say.
 SeattleArtist
Joined: 5/23/2007
Msg: 32
what do women really want.
Posted: 9/24/2007 3:13:58 PM
I'm a nice guy, I date older women: here's why

Women know what they want when they post their ads if they are specific. But when they are contacted by a man who looks decent and has common interests they play it safe and delete him without a second thought. I go on common interests and goals in life and in a relationship so really I am stable, but yes I know.....intellects can be the most boring people in the world, I even had one date say it straight up to me that I was boring.

women are the most judgmental people on dating forums simply because they are in the drivers seat and we men must make a hit on them, not the other way around. Believe it or not, each decision they make on a contact is a judgment all in itself. They may not say their are judgmental or defend themselves but in the end, I had it happen too many times not to think otherwise when I see those promising posts saying personality counts more than looks, yet on a single E-mail alone women think they have the way I think and act all figured out.


Women know what they want, they are just afraid to take a chance because they are holding out on the "one."
 SeattleArtist
Joined: 5/23/2007
Msg: 33
what do women really want.
Posted: 9/24/2007 3:24:32 PM
LOL. ok...
1) I want someone in the army, air force, marines, navy, ext. (i think it shows maturity structure, discipline, compassion, and that they can do anything)

You do not have to have someone who is wearing the uniform to have such traits. Have you ever thought about asking them to tell you what each trait means to them to any potential date and then make an informed judgment? I am very military minded and I was rejected out of every branch in the military due to an physical limitations but I carry myself with all those traits and qualities that you wanted and the only uniform I ever put on was an ROTC one.

2) someone who loves unconditionally

How do you determine that?

3) someone who pushes me to be my best

Define push you to your best? You mean calling you on your crap? Me getting you up at the crack of dawn to push your backside on a 7 mile jog? Or someone who tells you that cant is a word of defeat.

4) PERSONALLY someone who loves my son, and loves me for making the choice to keep him.. even thought the whole situation was a mess.

I date single moms because they are more mature because they have a mouth to feed. With Military people already being poverty stricken with their crappy salaries, understanding your situation is all they are going to do.
 gamefree
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 34
what do women really want.
Posted: 9/30/2007 7:18:46 PM
Yes most women want the cuddling, kissing etc. In my view when it says "looking for intimate encounters" it is the same as saying they are looking for a casual no strings attached sexual encounter. I agree that you need to say what you mean and mean what you say. I am tired of hearing the lame excuses. If you met someone you would rather see, or just don't want to be with me, don't tell me excuses like..."You smoke and I don't like smokers" since I told you that before we even met. "I don't want a woman with kids"....again you knew that in advance. I did have a life before I met you. Or one of my favorites....."You are a little thin for my taste". I will not apologize for working hard to have a decent looking body. I think it all comes down to honesty and respect, not just for the other person, but for yourself as well.
 gamefree
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 35
what do women really want.
Posted: 9/30/2007 7:38:50 PM
Oh, and as a side note....The one who said I was a little too thin was about 40 lbs overwieght with a huge beer belly. The one who didn't want kids hooked up with lady about 20 years younger and almost immediately she became pregnant and now he is looking at fatherhood for the first time and he is in his mid 40's. The one who gave me the heave-ho for smoking...well.... too bad for him since I have almost quit smoking and soon I will become a non-smoker but he will always be a schmuck.
 Made~new~Again
Joined: 6/30/2007
Msg: 36
what do women really want.
Posted: 10/10/2007 5:25:47 PM
Who really knows? I'm a woman... Oh wait I got it,.. girl just wanna have fun,,..
 Telepylus
Joined: 8/14/2007
Msg: 37
what do women really want.
Posted: 10/12/2007 2:14:26 AM
sometimes i get the feeling that deep down women only want one thing- to be abused and lied to.

that is why they avoid kindhearted honest guys.
they want convicts with tattoos and piercings who treat them like meat.
 AweLecks
Joined: 2/23/2007
Msg: 38
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what do women really want.
Posted: 10/12/2007 11:44:42 PM
Ok heres my 2 cents, always look at things from a broad perspective. I think we all know what it is that everyone wants in life, dont we? The answer is so simple, but finding your way to the conclusion is like chasing a rainbow. Men and Women ALWAYS seem to want just one thing.... whatever it is they cant have ;)

whoa that was a bit nostalgic lol, i dont know if i made any sense there...
 hoppmeister1954
Joined: 9/4/2005
Msg: 39
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what do women really want.
Posted: 10/15/2007 12:37:34 PM
I may be beating a dead horse, but right now I don't care. I had met this woman through Plenty of Fish and we eventually traded Messenger addresses and we would chat almost every night for about a month. Then early last month (September) she stopped talking to me. So finally today she tells me that she had suffered a personal loss and hadn't felt like talking to anybody, but then last week she had met a man who had been a friend of her uncle, this lives in the same city as she and I do, they started talking, he talked her out of her depression and now they are seeing each other. Ladies, if you do meet somebody else, regardless of the circumstances, please have the decency to right away let somebody know and not let the first guy wonder what is going on. Oh, and in case anybody is interested, she and I never met face to face. I am not sure if that hurts more that we didn't meet or if it would have hurt more if we had met. I know I am not the first person to experience this, but it still hurts.
 nwpices
Joined: 10/16/2007
Msg: 40
what do women really want.
Posted: 10/20/2007 7:00:18 PM
I couldn't agree more rons. Although alot of women will say something to the affect of "its not so much the bad boy thing... its the 'confidence'", Im sorry..... But if you cannot differenciate "confidence", from "arrogance", then one pretty much gets what they are asking for.
A confident man doesn't have to be a prick, to make his point come across. I hate to steriotype, But often times, they DO happen for a reason. If I had a dime for every great woman, that would be treated like GOLD if she let the right guy do it, id be rich. Unfortunately, you hit the nail on the head with the "bordom" comment.
 SeattleArtist
Joined: 5/23/2007
Msg: 41
what do women really want.
Posted: 10/20/2007 8:38:50 PM
girls do not date the nice guys, they marry them.

The 20 something women in the realm of dating are perhaps the most immature years they will ever be in life, because they are young, and want to have a good time after escaping the house and the parents and now are free. Its like a rubber band, the good girl who goes to church and dates Christian men are all the suddenly acting insanely wild, getting drunk every other night and then dating all these men who are a blast until the men get what they want and move on.

The nice guys are men who have their life together already, but women consider them BORING! I even had a girl tell me right to my face I was boring and left me to dry, but she was a bar tender...so it figures.

We nice men in the end will take the prize.
 GingersnapWA
Joined: 10/13/2007
Msg: 42
what do women really want.
Posted: 10/21/2007 4:46:33 PM
One thing that I want (and found lacking) is a man treats me with R-E-S-P-E-C-T! Not put me down or laugh when I express an opinion or express my values on subjects. Alot of guys SAY they want intelligent woman with good morals, but they drop you like a hot potato when you actually behave like one...
 SeattleArtist
Joined: 5/23/2007
Msg: 43
what do women really want.
Posted: 10/21/2007 11:31:12 PM
you can find plenty of that, plenty of guys who want what every woman wants, we are in good numbers....we are often refered too as "nice guys" and you know the old saying.,..

The question is, when you see the man and he has everything you would ever want, would you date him and get to know him when he is looking adverage or maybe even slightly "below adverage"

Thats what women (and many men for that matter) really want, a hot, steamy, sexy guy who has all the personality traits they speak of, now thats what I call a tall order.

Cause if this werent true, all my friends and myself as well as many of my girl friends (whom the idea of dating has been decided aginst for other reasons) are not finding these "reasonable men and women" who are ranting on this forum right now? Get in it in your heads ladies (you know who I am speaking too) you want to total package and really dont understand that attraction grows as you get to know people, so when you see a 3, 4 or 5 again, try to take the time to get to know them and sure enough, he or she will be a 10 before you know it.
 hoppmeister1954
Joined: 9/4/2005
Msg: 44
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what do women really want.
Posted: 10/22/2007 11:42:59 AM
This is so true seattleartist, I couldn't agree with you more. I have a friend who thinks that that there is suppose to be sparks right off the bat at the first meeting. Huh? That might be true in fairy tales, but life isn't a fairy tale. She won't even consider dating a guy after the first meeting unless she feels that emotional upheaval that first time. And if she does, then somewhere down the line she decides that he wasn't "Mr. Right" after all and she goes off on another quest. In the meantime, if a man she had met didn't make her heart go "pitter patter" the first time, he doesn't rate a second look, or a third, or a fourth in her book, but she may keep him around as a friend. I always told her that sometimes attraction doesn't happen overnight and maybe she shouldn't be looking for that spark the first time.
 FJ14
Joined: 7/10/2007
Msg: 45
what do women really want.
Posted: 10/22/2007 11:15:56 PM
When women are young, they have the advantage. Youth and beauty for women only last a few years though. They have a small window. What most of them don't realize untill it's too late is that they use up that short time with a$$holes and jerks, telling the good guys "no thanks".
Then when they wake up and they are past that time, THEN they say the want a "nice guy". But by that time there is little of that beauty left. And good guys, (if they are smart) will have nothing to do with them because there are better ones to choose from.
They learned too late that you can't trust a "bad boy" You can't marry a "bad boy". You can't have kids/family with a "bad boy". You can't spend the rest of your life with a "bad boy".
But by then it's too late.
 FJ14
Joined: 7/10/2007
Msg: 46
what do women really want.
Posted: 10/22/2007 11:27:17 PM
rghtgrl4u2:

That has to be one of the most selfish things I have ever read. You said:

"I think I would settle for someone that sees me for who I am and how amazing I could become with their nuturing. I just want someone that wants my needs and desires; willing to explore them with me."

You would settle? If you would settle, that has to be a small part of what you really want! You want an empty headed idiot to worship you and be your slave!
Are you on medication?
 peppy1um
Joined: 6/3/2007
Msg: 47
what do women really want.
Posted: 12/3/2007 4:32:01 AM
I think everyone should just go with the flow. You are either what they want, or not. Even if you knew what women wanted, you can't try to mold yourself into what your are not. I believe there is someone for eveyone, but we should not be desperately searching. If we are, then we are not ready ourselves.
 SeattleArtist
Joined: 5/23/2007
Msg: 48
what do women really want.
Posted: 12/3/2007 11:17:24 PM
Peppy, most of us if not all of us are searching on the web because we have lives and we have work and other priorities that eat into our life and dont have thetime to going to bars, clubs, speed dates etc. I always and still do think that God will provide if I sit back and let it happen out the way it should, but I only got 3 to 4 years of more lonely nights and weekends and that is not counting the earlier 3 years where most my friends and I parted company after high school. I see it like this:

There was once a Pastor of a church who wanted to win the lottery in order to help his church. He then prayed and fasted but never won. He continued to keep the faith but always ended up losing. He then asks God why after so much faith and dedication to his job, faith and also to his church that God doesn't reward such faith and devotion to duty and God said "you never bought a lotto ticket."

We cannot expect the man or woman of our dreams to come to our front door and say I am here to be with you. I wish it were that easy, but especially for us men, we gotta get out there and make an effort. Peppy I am telling you now, if it weren't for internet dating, I wouldn't have done any dating to this day at all. I also think I speak for alotta men here too who are liking the bar and club environment as well as the countless women who say likewise.

I also wanna take this moment and say to all the ladies that before you make statements talking about how we men should simply stop worrying about dating, don't forget that its you women who get approached and therefore don't need to lift a finger...save giving it dud men.
 faeryangel
Joined: 11/12/2007
Msg: 49
what do women really want.
Posted: 12/3/2007 11:50:12 PM
What I want~
In a longterm relationship:
I want instant attraction, it's my favorite.
To be swept off my feet is fun.
To be appreciated for the things I bring to a relationship feels goooood.
Knowing that I have succeeded in making a man feel like the king is rewarding to the heart.
Mostly tho, and what I've yet to experience is that these things would last....it ends and it's very dissapointing.

In dating:
This is new to me, but I think I want~
Casual, easy going and laid back attitude between he and me.
No expectations
No thin skinned reactions to truth.
Honesty in conversation.
Not to feel pressure.
No illusions from he or me, upfront, accepting, forthright.

I guess if I venture out and meet someone and there's mutual attraction it will be fun.
If there's not, I want to be in control of my emotions enough not to be hurt and I want the same from him. I am so scared of hurting guys feelings, but I am more afraid of doing something stupid just so I don't.
 peppy1um
Joined: 6/3/2007
Msg: 50
what do women really want.
Posted: 12/16/2007 10:41:57 AM
Seattle Artist I think you misunderstood me.....

There is a difference between putting yourself out there and being desperate. I am on here too, and definitely understand why this is a good way to meet people.
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