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| Where are all the GOOD guys?
Posted: 9/7/2007 1:57:40 PM |
I think dating is a game of chest and checkers. You will need to have a strategy
I don't like the "me" that the game playing women, who think like that, bring out. I have, though, engaged in those kinds of relationships, when there wasn't anything else going on in my life, but once I see a woman playing games, I honestly don't care much. It's "just a game", and when dealing with a game player, there are no rules.
So, if you like "games" it's great advice. I hope, though, that you don't then complain about men being "players". It's women who play that game, who invite them to be. | |
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| Where are all the GOOD guys?
Posted: 9/7/2007 3:09:59 PM | | Hmmm, would love to meet a good guy who can give and accept a woman reciprocating the same. | |
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| Where are all the GOOD guys?
Posted: 9/7/2007 3:25:17 PM |
this is not an insult..but if u keep runnin into the same kinds of guys..maybe ur problem is the type ur attracted to...or the type u attract to u
How many times do I have to read as a response to these posts why so many guys are jerks that women are meeting so many jerks becuase we go looking for them or we attract them. I have been on these dating sites 4 years and I have had nothing but the same problem. All guys want is sex and if they can wait until the 2nd date, they are very abnormal. Most don't want to wait 5 minutes. They only want to chat about it. I know not to consider meeting these idiots or even waste my time chatting with them twice if that is all they think there is to talk about. I am certainly not attracted to these jerks. Every guy I have met pretends to be what I am looking for until I waste time getting to know them. They all turn out to be the same idiot sooner or later depending on how long they are willing to play their game to try to get what they really want. All guys really want from a woman is one thing. Guys think that is the only purpose to be with a woman. Do you think we go looking for them and they have a 'jerk' t-shirt on to be sure we know they are one? | |
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| Where are all the GOOD guys?
Posted: 9/7/2007 3:33:00 PM | | I agree that goth are not all satan worshippers and in to drinking and drugs. But they are people that are trying to stand out by being different. What you really should be looking for is someone that stands out by being themselves. I am not sure how you can like someone for who they are, when they don't even like who they are. | |
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| Where are all the GOOD guys?
Posted: 9/7/2007 3:35:19 PM |
Do you think we go looking for them and they have a 'jerk' t-shirt on.
Nope. Actually, I think that the majority of women are not willing to take an active part in finding a mate. It seems to me that they wait to be found, contacted.
If this is your idea of how to find an adequate potential partner, then that is what you might want to work on. The Players are the ones that are mass emailing and playing whoever replies.
From what I can tell, the good guys are sluffed off, for the most part, as being players because their email is not ‘good enough’ for a reply. So, the only logical course of action is for the woman to find those that she is interested in, decipher whether or not he is a player, and then see if there is a mutual attraction.
Note. This is not proven to work, but a logical course of action. | |
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| Where are all the GOOD guys?
Posted: 9/7/2007 3:37:19 PM | TRANSLATION.............I think Player men should wear a sign on their forehead.
That's my story..........and I'm sticking with it. | |
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| Where are all the GOOD guys?
Posted: 9/7/2007 3:47:58 PM | Players are easily recognized, you just need to know what to look for. Listen to your heart, not to your own eagerness, and especially not to words that sound good or actions that feel good.
LOL, strange, I feel like I am telling a ‘grasshopper at your feet’ story. | |
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| Where are all the GOOD guys?
Posted: 9/7/2007 5:23:32 PM |
How many times do I have to read as a response to these posts why so many guys are jerks that women are meeting so many jerks becuase we go looking for them or we attract them.
You may not want to hear it, but the only common denominator to all those unpleasant situations is you. If every woman had the same experience, then it would be that "all men are jerks", but that's not what women I know or have met have told me.
It could be in your definitions, or the way that you interpret things. For example, I make no bones about the fact that sex is an important reason for adults dating or seeking relationships, and a key part of them getting to know each other. I don't need to go into graphic detail with that, nor harrangue about it. I never "pressure" or even "ask". When I meet someone, it is with the anticipation, from things she's said, that her attitude is much the same, and if, when we meet, there is attraction, sexuality early in a relationship is a very natural part of things.
Who knows, though, how you would "interpret" that. maybe I'd fall into your "jerks", who "only care about sex", and if so, then I'd say that you are going to continue to have a problem with meeting "jerks", so long as you continue to look for relatively normal, centered men, with normal, healthy libidos. | |
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| Where are all the GOOD guys?
Posted: 9/7/2007 5:26:49 PM |
Players are easily recognized,
With respect, I think "players" is an abused term. It's what the dumpee calls the dumper. Much like the guy who loses a bar fight, will call the winner a "dirty fighter".
Listen to your heart...
Great advice for acting impulsively. The heart will tell you one thing one minute, maybe pull a 180 on you the next. Just read any of the Broken Hearts threads to see how people are TORN by their emotions when they're in emotional turmoil. You should absolutely NOT "listen to your heart" when your heart doesn't know what it wants.
"Good decisions come from experience; experience comes from bad decisions."
!Les | |
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| Where are all the GOOD guys?
Posted: 9/7/2007 5:45:00 PM |
The heart will tell you one thing one minute, maybe pull a 180 on you the next.
Oh boy, that is confusing isn’t it? In this case, we should break it down to definition and opinions.
When I say ‘heart’, I am saying that deep down we all know the truth of things. Mostly this is ignored. Blindsided by eagerness, hope, and delusion. Since I can only speak for myself, my heart does not change directions. Thoughts can be 180, but the truth stays the same. Chemical imbalances fluctuate, but the truth stays the same. The heart is the center of the total. All the variables may be chaotic, which causes the wishy-washy confusion, but in the end, the heart doesn’t lie.
Well, that’s my take. It may not be the same for others in ambiguity. Maybe it would be better to use the intellect, make a mental note of the truth, that way when confusion hits you will have a basis of logic to grab onto. Best wishes to all and good luck. | |
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| Where are all the GOOD guys?
Posted: 9/7/2007 7:15:03 PM |
The heart will tell you one thing one minute, maybe pull a 180 on you the next.
Oh boy, that is confusing isn’t it?
Nature of the Beast.
When most people say, "Listen to your heart", or variations thereof, they're REALLY saying, "Listen to ME!" Or else they're saying, "Listen to conventionality!"
Best wishes to all and good luck.
Right back at ya!
!Les | |
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| Where are all the GOOD guys?
Posted: 9/7/2007 7:44:18 PM | | not all men are jerks. but it's so damn difficult to get a woman to talk to me because i'm a man and therefore automatically thought of as a jerk. yes there has been times when i to thought of sex on the first or second date. but it's always when a woman dresses in a very provacative outfit in her profile, wears a very provacative outfit on the first day i meet her, and acts prissy from the word go. but that happends very rarely. i prefer to have the girl come over to my place and we can just sit and talk, play cards, play with my 2 lane electric car racing set, i'mean, to just sit and have a pleasant conversation with a beautiful woman is something i really enjoy doing.because it so relaxing to me. but i like girls, what can i say. but watching TV never works unless we like the same things to watch. and to find somebody in my neck of the woods, now that's hard. like trying to get them to reply to messages, not blocking me after the first message when they don't even know me. you see girls, being the nice guy is the pits. but i'm not gonna change just cause all the girls around here want bad boys. i like being a nice guy. | |
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| Where are all the GOOD guys?
Posted: 9/7/2007 7:58:31 PM |
not all men are jerks. but it's so damn difficult to get a woman to talk to me because i'm a man and therefore automatically thought of as a jerk. yes there has been times when i to thought of sex on the first or second date
Ok, I am SOOOOOO sick and tired of the "nice guy" routine. Here's a simple fact. Being a normal man, does not make you a "jerk". Women don't always mean what they say, because many women were brought up to believe that they are "sluts", if they don't pretend to be "resistant" in what they say initially, but what they say in a profile, or a first email, , and what they want, isn't always the same thing. The simple truth of nature is, that the reason women feel an instinctual want for a man in their lives, is generally not to find someone to watch TV, play with electric car racing sets, or with whom to play cards.
So, if you're "offering" those "activities", thinking those are what will "get the girls", good luck with that. I would expect you to continue to be a frequent contributor to the "nice guys finish last" threads. | |
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| Where are all the GOOD guys?
Posted: 9/8/2007 4:15:30 AM |
How many times do I have to read as a response to these posts why so many guys are jerks that women are meeting so many jerks becuase we go looking for them or we attract them.
Well, if you keep hearing the same thing, then it's probably for one of two reasons:
1) Everyone else is just crazy and stupid; or,
2) There MAY be at least a grain of truth in it.
Every guy I have met pretends to be what I am looking for until I waste time getting to know them. They all turn out to be the same idiot sooner or later depending on how long they are willing to play their game to try to get what they really want.
Different guys, same you... yeah, it must be that everyone else is crazy and stupid.
!Les | |
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| Where are all the GOOD guys?
Posted: 9/8/2007 8:49:28 AM |
You need to spend more time chatting on line and the phone....to feel them out.
I totally agree with that.  I've met quite a few men from this site and some were ok but I unfortunately met a couple of liars who really hurt me. Besides the fact that they were ***holes, I believe that if I'd taken a little more time to feel them out at first, I'd have eventually seen them for what they really are and cut them out of my life before getting too close and consequentially getting my heart ripped out.
For the past couple of months I've been talking and e-mailing someone I met on here. We do plan on eventually meeting but I have to say, approaching things this way has been a breath of fresh air. We talk for hours about anything and everything and we have become really close. It does weird me out a little that I can be so smitten with a person I've never actually met face-to-face and although I'm always very honest, there's always that underlying fear that he may not find me physically attractive. However if it ends up that way and doesn't work out, I'll at least be able to walk away without having slept with him or otherwise become very emotionally attached and I know I'll ultimately be ok.
It is true though, a lot of men (and women, so I've heard) on here are just looking to get laid or get SOMETHING out of another person and most are so desperate they'll say anything to get what they want. We all just have to be a little more selective!  | |
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| Where are all the GOOD guys?
Posted: 9/8/2007 8:57:42 AM |
It is true though, a lot of men (and women, so I've heard) on here are just looking to get laid or get SOMETHING out of another
And it's also true that there are a lot of women (and men, so I've heard) who are just looking for a fantasy relationship, and are so controlled by their fears of "what could go wrong", that they never pull the trigger to move to real life.
I do agree, that spending time in advance of meeting is a good thing, and filters out most of the "bad dates", but a couple of weeks is long enough. After that, it can easily be an "online relationship", and the longer you wait, the greater the fear about the first meeting, so many never do. | |
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| Where are all the GOOD guys?
Posted: 9/8/2007 9:02:10 AM | yes i been asking same ??? for 3 years ,,,but dont give up ,,god has one for you, as i know god has one for me ,,just got to keep fishin....good luck  | |
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| Where are all the GOOD guys?
Posted: 9/8/2007 9:06:54 AM |
.....spending time in advance of meeting is a good thing, and filters out most of the "bad dates", but a couple of weeks is long enough. After that, it can easily be an "online relationship", and the longer you wait, the greater the fear about the first meeting, so many never do.
I can see where you're coming from but it's not really fear, it's more of a schedule thing. We live about an hour from each other and it's been a busy summer for us both. I know it sounds like excuses but if it did just end up as an 'online relationship', I'd eventually just move on. | |
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| Where are all the GOOD guys?
Posted: 9/8/2007 9:10:46 AM |
I can see where you're coming from but it's not really fear, it's more of a schedule thing. We live about an hour from each other and it's been a busy summer for us both. I know it sounds like excuses but if it did just end up as an 'online relationship', I'd eventually just move on.
It's your life, and his, and none of my business, but I have to tell you that "living an hour away", is not exactly a big deal, if you are really into each other. I'm involved with someone, who lives 150 miles (250km) away, about 3 hours, and it feels like "nothing" other than a little inconvenience, and we spend a lot of time together. | |
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| Where are all the GOOD guys?
Posted: 9/8/2007 9:16:26 AM | Where are all the good guys????
They are right in front of your eyes. The problem is with your selection process or you would not be asking these questions.
My definition of a good guy.
Stands up for himself, partner and beliefs. Tells it like it is. Has respect for himself and others. Won't kiss your ass. Well. We can discuss that one. :)
I slay me.
I thank you. | |
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| Where are all the GOOD guys?
Posted: 9/8/2007 10:30:53 AM | Ignore everything that you've read before this one: (this is the answer you've been seeking)
You ARE a QUALITY PERSON who has alot more "upstairs" than most and the world is chock-full of idiots and as*holes. I know that pompus and harsh---but it's the truth. You recognize what it is you want in a relationship, and it's NOT too lofty or too ideal--it's just realistic and the way everyone should be.
Problem is, we live in a *gotta-have-it-now* society, and so many are in a rush to get what they want. IMHO, too many gals "give it up" too soon, and loose respect. You really can't blame the fellas--they've gotten used to the way women are these days and expect that from you too. I know that sounds old-fashioned---it IS, dammit, but there's alot of knucleheads who will walk away with a piece of your heart---and read this: ***it gets bigger as you get older**.
Hold your head high, be proud that you are nuturing yourself and you are "better than that". Remember--you are a QUALITY person offering a QUALITY experience, and feel free to advertise that. Guys will respect you more cause it will show.
Take it from an older gal who has "been around the block" and done it all! I'm no nun, but I seperate the men from the boys when it comes to opening my heart--if you get my drift. | |
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