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| Open Marriages (wld_blk_orchid)
Posted: 8/7/2007 7:29:27 AM | In my opinion the best question yet, kudos.
"Can you honestly say you would be OK with your wife making love to another man? This is not just about your needs, what if she decides to do the same and finds herself a lover?"
*Jealousy is a hard beast to slay....but I feel that I'm not that emotionally attached to simply 'sex'....the only thing that I wouldn't be ok with, is if she could confide in the other guy, something that she couldn't confide in me.
* absolutely correct, this is not about 'my' needs, it's about our needs. what if she decides to find herself a lover? I truly hope she does, because if she doesn't then it wouldn't be an Open Marriage...it would be just me sleeping around. and as stated before, I'm not the one who talked me into this lol.
"Are you really willing to risk your marriage over this?"
I am not willing to take any sort of risks with my marriage whatsoever. I do not see this as a 'risk', we take risks with our marriage every single day....what if she wakes up one day and thinks "I think i'd like women now" or "I think I want to become a nun" there are countless and to me, more realistic ways, that would pose a threat to my marriage than this.
thank you very much for your questions. | |
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| Open Marriages (wld_blk_orchid)
Posted: 8/7/2007 7:36:06 AM |
I truly hope she does, because if she doesn't then it wouldn't be an Open Marriage...it would be just me sleeping around.
and there it is. I knew there were underlying factors to this whole post. That comment in itself gives the vibe that you for some reason feel guilty about sleeping around even with her permission. Because as you just stated if she doesn't it would be just you sleeping around. Not much open in that respect huh? | |
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| Open Marriages
Posted: 8/7/2007 7:38:02 AM | dave koresh had that same lifestyle awesome uh,,Go figure arkansas uh ... enough said
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| Open Marriages Chatter box
Posted: 8/7/2007 7:39:30 AM |
correction, OUR solution. she was the one who brought this up, many many times over several years. We just sat down to talk about it.
May I ask why she brought it up? Was it because she wanted to see others or because she wanted you to?
I honestly don't see spending time with other people as betraying, I simply do not.
Maybe not spending time, but sharing intimate thoughts and feelings certainly is. I read your profile and it appears as though you are looking for a love interest, not a playmate.
And as for vows, I took the vow to love her for all times, to take care of her and to be there for her forever. And as far as I can see, those vows have neither been changed nor broken.
Semantics, as far as I see it. You still have the sanctity of marriage and the expectations that it entails. And loving someone else is breaking the vow to be there for her forever because you can't truly be there or love her for all time if you are splitting it between two people.
I feel that I'm not 'taking' anything from her, I am emotional and very compassionate where she is not, so i am simply...and do forgive this analogy.....giving away something that isn't wanted or used.
You may feel that way, but once you embark upon this course, you may be surprised by the repercussions. Isn't there some way to compromise between the two of you without screwing around?
Sex is sex. Emotional intimacy is much more complicated. | |
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| Open Marriages
Posted: 8/7/2007 7:41:28 AM | I found it humorous how the original poster requested no one be uncivil in the thread but in the same post proceeds to call a certain demographic ignorant...
As far as the original question posed, I really don't care how other people choose to conduct their relationships, it's none of my business. Prob not something I'd do myself, but whatever blows your dress up Sally  | |
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| Open Marriages (wld_blk_orchid)
Posted: 8/7/2007 7:49:21 AM | OP….
Look.... it is incredibly HARD finding the right person... and when you DO you cherish and make them your "everything"... Not make her feel she is "not enough"... remember WOMEN do think differently then men...
She may have brought it up, but my feeling was it was "brought up as a joke"... taken literally out of frustration...
By bringing this up as a discussion (6 hours…lord)… deep down she has to be feeling that she is just not enough for you… Which would be incredibly painful on her ego… to the point where she may find someone who falls in love with her and Truly feels that SHE IS enough… ((I don’t know your wife… but honey I AM A WOMAN… and have a very good idea how women think and feel))…
Also letting your woman know that you are OK in seeing her having sex with another man…. Yikes…
I do understand what it is like to feel like you have a stronger sex drive then your partner (is very painful... which is whyyyy I like to know before getting too connected with a potential mate if we connect on ALL levels, including sexually)...
Women CAN "just have sex" ... but eventually (even the hardest ones) women connect and bond on an emotional side... we begin having deep feelings (making things confusing)…
This is more then a "risk" it is "Russian roulette" with someone you love... not smart and something you may seriously live to regret…
I think you posted this because you are curious how most will respond deep down... If you were as confident as you profess to be then I think you would have gone ahead and did this NOT post it on here (you had to know people would be harsh)...
Why not try exploring other facets of sex with HER… explore things like Kama Sutra/ Tantric Sex… and so forth… Get her excited about being with you (and vica-versa)…
Anyways... all I can say is if I were you, if I found that special person I would want to spend my life with THERE IS NO WAY I would gamble with that special gift...
All the best.. and good luck | |
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| Open Marriages
Posted: 8/7/2007 7:59:36 AM | Clever
I may be wrong, and if I am do correct me, but it seems to me as if you assume that I want her to sleep around because I have. That's false. I have not slept with anyone. there's no 'plot' this isn't some sort of mystery, this is a discussion.
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Christi66: " dave koresh had that same lifestyle awesome uh,,Go figure arkansas uh ... enough said"
witty and well thought out.
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SingleSagitarius: "I found it humorous how the original poster requested no one be uncivil in the thread but in the same post proceeds to call a certain demographic ignorant..."
as stated previous, I made no dig about people based merely on geographic details....go back and reread that and you'll find that it was based on 3 very precise things.
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Chatter Box
"May I ask why she brought it up? Was it because she wanted to see others or because she wanted you to?" Very good question. I have asked a few times why she brought it up, what brought on this change.....and she has gone to say that we are just two completely different people, in summation of course. It's not as clear cut as getting a letter in the mail "oh...now we see other people starting on this date" lol
"Maybe not spending time, but sharing intimate thoughts and feelings certainly is. I read your profile and it appears as though you are looking for a love interest, not a playmate."
I will continue to share intimate thoughts and feelings towards my wife, that will not be diminished whatsoever. and I am absolutely looking for a love interest, i don't want a whore...if I wanted a whore I'd go to the bunny ranch. lol
"Semantics, as far as I see it. You still have the sanctity of marriage and the expectations that it entails. And loving someone else is breaking the vow to be there for her forever because you can't truly be there or love her for all time if you are splitting it between two people"
We STILL have the sanctity of marriage and we shall always, as for expectations, of marriage, that's up for debate, feel free to mail me on that particular issue, as I shan't discuss it here.
I can absolutely truly be there and love her for all times, regardless who else I come to love. If you could only love one person at a time, then people wouldn't have more than one child.
"You may feel that way, but once you embark upon this course, you may be surprised by the repercussions" I couldn't agree more, we never foresee the repercussions, as the old adage says "hindsight is 20/20" and couldn't be more true in my opinion...this is why a sound foundation of communication is so important. There can be repercussions in anything....buying a car without telling the other...quitting a job suddenly...etc...
"Isn't there some way to compromise between the two of you without screwing around?"
I'm always open for compromise, in fact, my agreeing to this IS in fact, a compromise. If there are other ways, and she would like to venture into them, I'm more than willing. | |
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| Open Marriages
Posted: 8/7/2007 8:02:42 AM |
SingleSagitarius: "I found it humorous how the original poster requested no one be uncivil in the thread but in the same post proceeds to call a certain demographic ignorant..."
as stated previous, I made no dig about people based merely on geographic details....go back and reread that and you'll find that it was based on 3 very precise things.
Ya I saw you had some specific criteria, I just found it weird that you would ask for people to be civil, then in the same breath say something distinctly not, whatever the basis for it. But ya no worries man, you're entitled to your opinion as much as anyone | |
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| Open Marriages Chatter box
Posted: 8/7/2007 8:04:51 AM | "My wife and I have discussed and decided for having an Open Marriage."
"I'm not looking for just sex on the side."
"I will be more than happy to put in my personal opinions".
Your personal opinions, with all due respect, are irrelevant about this matter.
The emotional stability of any couple being active participants in the lifestyle are based in a set of ground rules very well defined, not about what you think. According to those statements, imply you have no idea about what you are get into.
To begin with the reason you are looking for another woman is lack of sex with your wife. Lifestyle is not a substitute or solution of limited sex life but expansion of the existent one in the search of new experiences por personal satisfaction. If your wife doesn't have sex with you as frecuently as you desire, what make you think she will be involved with other people?
The very primary reason for the lifestyle is sex: the primitive, pure, basic and animal instint to just fuk for the pleasure of it. It doesn't mean to be with everyone, it certainly can be selective patner but excludes by its nature any emotional attachment.
Of course, friends are the best candidates to be in the confortable zone but, nothing more than friendship, there is no room for an emotional relationship in order to avoid conflict of interest.
It's requiered a degree of confidence in self and each other, trust and a level of comunicacion that few couples can master it and the most important issue the potential arise of jealousy have to be controled by a degree of patient and tolerance that you already proved not to have by your reactions to differents posters.
I sugest you to get in touch with lifestyle dating site with forums, a visit to a lifestyle club and before to pay attention to any other pusi make a reality check, with a real life experience, how you feel seeing your wife flirting, joking, touching, being touched and kissed by another man... or her reaction for that matter. | |
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| Open Marriages
Posted: 8/7/2007 8:08:32 AM | {shrug}
to be perfectly honest, I don't give a flying you-know-what who you are sleeping with, as long as your wife is in agreement and you are being honest with the other women.
Personally, I would have no desire to be in an open relationship. I want one man who also wants one woman. I basically don't care what others do, but it seems the open marriage people get really defensive and want to try to convince me to see it their way. Whatever. I know what I want and I won't adjust my expectations of a marriage based on how other people choose to live their lives.
I also agree that you seem pretty defensive and a bit rude to those who disagree with you. Kind of ironic. | |
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| Open Marriages (wld_blk_orchid)
Posted: 8/7/2007 8:15:07 AM | I do so love your posts, you seem to actually put thought in them.
"it is incredibly HARD finding the right person"
I do not believe there is a 'right' person....only people that reach the highest levels of tolerability to us. I don't believe in 'soul mates' i believe that 2 people can be compatible enough choose to be with each other legally and for 'all' time. It's hard finding ANYONE that we connect with and don't get bored with after 20 minutes of their constant and mindless droning. for me after about 30 minutes of someone, typically I have no desire to be in the same room with them again ever. I have high expectations and standards.
"deep down she has to be feeling that she is just not enough for you… Which would be incredibly painful on her ego… to the point where she may find someone who falls in love with her and Truly feels that SHE IS enough"
I honestly can see how one would think this, but I know that if she felt in any way shape or form, that she wasn't up to my expectations, she would tell me. as stated previous we have a great communication and use it often. As far as her finding someone else...she didn't need an Open Marriage to do this madam, she could have done this (as can anyone) at any time. I've told her many times, if she wishes to go, I will not punch her into submission or bar up the door or take apart the car...I would help her pack, I would make sure she had somewhere safe to stay, I would make sure she had enough food and money and transportation, and then I would keep that line open to make sure she's comfortable and happy. I don't care if she is happy with me, I just care that she's happy.
"women connect and bond on an emotional side... we begin having deep feelings"
as do I! I don't have sex simply because theres nothing on telly lol I connect very easily to people, and someone has sex, then its out of love and respect and wanting to bond, wanting to be closer wanting to share each other, to make physical the feelings that we are experiencing emotionally and mentally. I'm not sure if I have been clear enough..i am not looking for a sex partner....
"I think you posted this because you are curious how most will respond deep down"
I know how most people will respond when stepping out of the norm, I've heard it all my life.....you should mail me and i can tell you more about this....I shan't talk about it here. Most people react to stepping out of the norm, shameful and taboo...if 'they' wouldn't do it, then it simply shouldn't be done and because of that very ignorance, start to fear what they don't understand, and how do most people respond to fear...by lashing out at it. It's quite typical, if nothing else.
"Why not try exploring other facets of sex with HER… explore things like Kama Sutra/ Tantric Sex… and so forth… Get her excited about being with you" This one is a very valid question, but one I can best answer in private...i shan't answer it here. | |
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Posted: 8/7/2007 8:23:50 AM |
Very good question. I have asked a few times why she brought it up, what brought on this change.....and she has gone to say that we are just two completely different people, in summation of course.
I feel that that is a very telling statement. If all of this is accurate, it sounds as though perhaps she is taking the easy way out.
Let's swing this away from you wanting to find another who will love you and still remain married, and ask what is up with your marriage?
If indeed she is the one who brought this up, and is cold and physically and emotionally distant from you, then why does she even want to remain married? Is it financial? Children involved? Because I just don't get it.
Many of us here spent a large portion of our young lives married and for whatever reason, it didn't work out. Now we have, I think, more realistic expectations of a potential partner. I don't want to be married to just a friend. I don't want to marry because someone can help ease a financial burden. I want it all, a friend and a partner and a lover. One follows the other.
I honestly feel that when there are problems in a relationship, they manifest themselves in the physical aspect of the marriage before the verbal. Excuses to avoid intimacy are just that, excuses. If you honestly love someone as more than a friend, then you want to be close to them physically. And not just sexually, but the whole holding hands, kissing in passing, fond caress of a shoulder, all of that.
That seems to be what you are looking for, and I don't think you can have it both ways. Not many women are going to settle for a married man who loves them but won't leave his wife to make a life with them, and not many marriages will survive a husband loving another woman. I think you are left with either somehow finding intimacy in your marriage or leaving the marriage to find it. | |
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Posted: 8/7/2007 8:34:10 AM | | i kind of tend to agree with loveable....also...it is not just about sex on the side,,it is about new sex....different sex....the excitement that comes with being with someone new for the first time ..If my hubby would ever agree to an open marriage i would be dancing in the streets...I also assume your spouse can seek other partners as well??? | |
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| Open Marriages Chatter box
Posted: 8/7/2007 8:34:47 AM |
Thread cleaned
If I have to revisit this thread again for any sort of nonsense, all parties involved in the trading of insults, off topic chats, snide comments, insinuations, unfounded assumptions of anyone's character, will be suspended , simple as that. If you feel you've been insulted, report it and move on - DO NOT ENGAGE the other poster for you will be equally guilty.
Address the statements, NOT THE POSTER.
Moderator | |
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tdh46
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Joined: 1/7/2007
Msg: 40 | |
| Open Marriages
Posted: 8/7/2007 8:36:11 AM | If the Op would direct us to his wifes profile on POf or any other dating site i might be more inclined to take him seriously. Until his wife has sex with another man and he knows and accepts it, it's not an open marriage.
Tom Jones has this arrangement with his wife of 35 years, He can sleep around all he want while on the road, just as long as he is discreet about it. Is that an open marriage or is he just a cheating piece of trash?.
The Op came to the forums to flaunt his "Open Marriage" and is chastising anyone that disagrees with the way he is going about his life. Do we have to agree with his choice? , I thought the forums were here for open discussions on any given topic. If we were all in agreement then there really would be no point to this forum now would there?.
Funny thing about commitments in relationships, some of us don't make them easily, but once we do we take them very seriously. I am not a clingy person, But i would be very offended if the woman i was in a relationship with was sleeping with ever Tom Dick or Harry that came along. And i would hope she felt the same way if i was doing it.
A woman that thought this "open marriage" was ok could never be in a relationship with me, because our values system would be too far apart.
The Op says he is in an open marriage but it looks like he is the only one with a profile on a dating site. | |
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| Open Marriages
Posted: 8/7/2007 8:37:10 AM | | As long as everyone is happy, and upfront, and the sex is not just reduced to base physical desires, I see no problem in it. Not for me, but that is up to each individual. | |
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| Open Marriages Chatter Box
Posted: 8/7/2007 8:42:50 AM | All very interesting points madam...
"why does she even want to remain married" i've asked several times, after some sort of argument if she wanted to leave (assuming, ignorantly, that is why she would choose to argue over something so petty as whatever it was we had just argued over) and she was get deeply offended. I can't go into detail here...but I would be happy to divulge more if you mailed me...but suffice it to say that, we were raised completely different and opposite and i feel that is why we express ourselves so differently. I am thoroughly convinced that she loves me, and wants to remained married.
"I honestly feel that when there are problems in a relationship, they manifest themselves in the physical aspect of the marriage before the verbal."
^^ Truer words have not been spoken
"If you honestly love someone as more than a friend, then you want to be close to them physically."
I do not agree on this front. we each express ourselves differently, every one of us, and when we put OTHER factors into that, then what one person sees as a clear cut sign of affection, the other could see it as nothing more than a fart. There are various reasons why she either can't or won't (I don't know which word to choose on that) but I do not 'blame' her or have any sort of illwill because of this inability, I understand. There are somethings I just cannot do, as I'm sure there are some you cannot do, ever, for any reasons. and of course, there are very good reasons for it.
"Not many women are going to settle for a married man who loves them but won't leave his wife to make a life with them"
just a few years ago, not many women were allowed to date outside their own race. but there were people who were above the norm and disregarded this. I see little difference.
"and not many marriages will survive a husband loving another woman."
quite true, and if she ever wants to stop and go back to traditional, then all she need to is say so. | |
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| Open Marriages (wld_blk_orchid)
Posted: 8/7/2007 8:47:57 AM |
"women connect and bond on an emotional side... we begin having deep feelings"
as do I! I don't have sex simply because theres nothing on telly lol I connect very easily to people, and someone has sex, then its out of love and respect and wanting to bond, wanting to be closer wanting to share each other, to make physical the feelings that we are experiencing emotionally and mentally. I'm not sure if I have been clear enough..i am not looking for a sex partner....
As I have been reading through this thread, one thing keeps coming to mind.
You may have no issue with another relationship outside of your marriage. Your wife may have no issue with another relationship outside of your marriage. Although, it appears this remains to be seen. I gather neither of you has actually done anything with another, yet.
I keep wondering about the other person/people who become involved with you.
To paraphrase wld_ lk_orchid: Women fall in love with their lovers.
The woman who gets involved with you is setting herself up for a lot of heartbreak when you cannot take it to the next level with her. I see a lot of emotional upheaval and negative actions coming from this.
Can your 'open marriage' withstand that? | |
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| Open Marriages Chatter box
Posted: 8/7/2007 8:50:06 AM | She may be "fine" with it now....but later is another story.
http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/ss/50-1.html
May be worth a shot. ^^ | |
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| Open Marriages
Posted: 8/7/2007 8:52:31 AM | | John I agree it is better to know what is happening in your relationship than not. So I think your right in being up front, esp if you enjoy your marraige and would like it to continue. I also agree that many people are tempted to look for sex other places. It is the number one reason most people get a divorce. Now having said that. It is possible for a couple to have an open relationship. Very few work. I would ask you what are the instances where it works and doesn't, can you calculate the variables or look at other couples where this has worked. Are they healthy strong and committed. Next start asking yourself what you would be ok with and what you wouldn't. How much freedom do you allow your partner when do you start to get worried what are the boundries. Last there is a chance that you will cross those lines of trust, respect, and understanding. What if you and your partner do not agree on how to handle the more majior situations. Then what you cut out your extra sexual activities. The relationship will still be different. My point is that it is hard enough to find someone you like let alone want to spend your life with. Be careful going down this path. I call it complicated emotional sex, even if one person can handle it the other may not. Chances are a great as it sounds and as much as you have worked out the detail there are things you have not thought about, and your talking about emotions that are sometime ill rational not logical. | |
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| Open Marriages
Posted: 8/7/2007 9:01:59 AM | | You just knew that it would stir a lot of negitivity. Open marriges are great for other people, its not something that I would really want for myself, granted that might change in the future but not that I can see. I don't really see the reason why you posted this... | |
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| Open Marriages TDH46
Posted: 8/7/2007 9:04:17 AM | "If the Op would direct us to his wifes profile on POf or any other dating site i might be more inclined to take him seriously."
Firstly, I do not care what people take 'seriously' on here lol it's a discussion about Open Marriages, not about my personal credibility. But I would be more than happy to introduce you to her, you, because you have been insightful and thoughtful and not harsh. I feel that if I showed her here, that the same people who were ugly towards me, would be ugly towards here, and I simply will not have that.
"Until his wife has sex with another man and he knows and accepts it, it's not an open marriage"
2 words jumped out in regards to this..."Insightful" and "true". Until other relationships have been established (not merely thought about or researched) it's only thinking about it. I could NOT agree more.
"Tom Jones has this arrangement with his wife of 35 years, He can sleep around all he want while on the road, just as long as he is discreet about it. Is that an open marriage or is he just a cheating piece of trash?."
Firstly, this should be strictly between Mr. and Mrs. Jones. But since I was asked: I feel that , to be an open MARRIAGE, then both parties must be free to do the same thing, I believe, above all else, equality.
"The Op came to the forums to flaunt his "Open Marriage" and is chastising anyone that disagrees with the way he is going about his life."
Why this was posted here has already been answered, several times. I suggest going back and re-reading. As for chastising, it is not unwarranted. I have not chastised anyone who I felt was being polite, this of course has been covered several times as well. it's not what's said, but how it's said. I would wager that I come from an entirely different culture than most of the other posters here, and what is 'ok' for you to say, strikes me as particularly rude and outright targeting remarks. Those remarks that I find ARE rude, are addressed with the same level of crassness. I have been speaking with quite a few people who disagree, and I have been very civil and polite.
"If we were all in agreement then there really would be no point to this forum now would there"
It would truly make for a damn boring world.
"But i would be very offended if the woman i was in a relationship with was sleeping with ever Tom****or Harry that came along. And i would hope she felt the same way if i was doing it"
I would be offended to, as we are not swingers. We talk about the people we have intentions of dating, and we get to know them (I think that may be worded wrongly....she would get to know her bf, and I mein gf.)
I know that she is not going up to someone and saying "hi! I noticed you have a penis! come with me!" lol.
"The Op says he is in an open marriage but it looks like he is the only one with a profile on a dating site."
this has already been addressed previously. | |
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| Open Marriages TDH46
Posted: 8/7/2007 9:16:15 AM |
"Not many women are going to settle for a married man who loves them but won't leave his wife to make a life with them"
just a few years ago, not many women were allowed to date outside their own race. but there were people who were above the norm and disregarded this. I see little difference.
I didn't mean that a woman would worry about societal standards, I meant that you will be hard pressed to find someone who will give herself to you emotionally and not expect more of you in return. I won't even date a recently separated/divorced man because it has been my experience that they are unable to concentrate on a new relationship. A married man, even less so. Not many women want to come second.
You talk of the great communication the two of you have. I'm not sure you really do. If you did, I do not think you would have come to the conclusion that the thing to do is to find what you are missing with someone else.
The more I read your posts the less I think you are a pig who just wants to have his cake and eat it too. I think you have some deep issues in your marriage, but I'm telling you, if you two truly love one another and want to stay together, having a relationship outside the marriage is not going to do it. | |
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| Open Marriages
Posted: 8/7/2007 9:22:42 AM | Soleil
"The woman who gets involved with you is setting herself up for a lot of heartbreak when you cannot take it to the next level with her. I see a lot of emotional upheaval and negative actions coming from this." a great question, but kind of disturbing....let me explain:
Though I may not seem it here on the forums, I am truly a caring and nurturing person. I do not intend for things to just be sprung up on people after a few years of dating "oh....btw..I'm married!" everything will be completely honest, i do not hide anything. If she has a problem with it later on, then we can talk about it, if it cannot be resolved, then I'll thank her for all of the memories and do hope we stay in touch, and I'll wish for her nothing but the best. I truly hope that I'm not coming across as someone who's so cold that it's all about how I feel and screw everyone else's feelings, it's not like that at all.
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Juxt:
"She may be "fine" with it now....but later is another story."
Very true, but this is why communication is very important, not in just an open relationship but ANY. Even in traditional marriage, something as small as snoring can be fine and 'cute' at first....but over years, it could cause divorce. Communication would prevent that and help greatly on all levels.
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SweetlilNative:"granted that might change in the future but not that I can see."
Very true, we have no idea what we can or would do, until we are faced with it, until then, it is merely speculation.
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Agent 86
" It is possible for a couple to have an open relationship. Very few work."
What is the traditional divorce rate? 50% and climbing isn't it? I feel that it has just as good of a chance as any. perhaps more so, because we are more open minded than any traditional marriages that we've come to know.
"can you calculate the variables or look at other couples where this has worked."
I honestly think that I cannot calculate all of the variables, when dealing with people...they are indeed limitless. As far as other couples, I currently reside in the south...people simply do not go outside of the norm, they don't look different, they don't sound different. so, I have not.
"Next start asking yourself what you would be ok with and what you wouldn't." Very true, this is why our strong communication comes into play.
"What if you and your partner do not agree on how to handle the more majior situations."
I'm compelled to ask what you would consider "Major Situations"? but it's really irrelevant. As in all things, if something came up, we would discuss it and compromise and work to resolve any sort of issues.
"Chances are a great as it sounds and as much as you have worked out the detail there are things you have not thought about, and your talking about emotions that are sometime ill rational not logical."
I completely agree, I don't look at this as "well more boobs for me! I'M KING OF THE WORLD!" it's simply not that at all. I'm positive there will be issues that arise, some problems that pop up that are completely unanticipated or unforeseeable to me at this point in time. But I am very will to work things out, to compromise and to constantly take other people's feelings into consideration, typically above my own. | |
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| Open Marriages TDH46
Posted: 8/7/2007 9:26:43 AM | I don't condem someone who wants this type of relationship personally I don't see how they work.
I'm with message 34 and 45 on this one....woman are different than men when it comes to our emtionally bonding, I would be concerned at the pandora's box that you are opening inviting your wife to an open marriage.
What happens when she starts to have feelings for this new guy and can't seem to preform with you as she does with him.....you don't think she will feel guilty because he brings a little sump'in sump'in to the table that you don't, she is having mind blowing orgasms he gets her to tap into your wild nasty side.....now all of the sudden she is wondering about this open marriage with you and why you lead her believe that she wasn't woman enough for you, when apparently this guy believes in all that she is as a woman......her confidence builds and pretty soon you are moving out and he is moving in....
careful what you wish for!!!! | |
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