| What caused your last serious relationship to end?
Posted: 8/14/2007 6:38:50 PM | With all these horror stories, its no wonder we have trouble getting together.
I have concluded that some women on POF use POF to get even with all men and inflate their egos in the process. Maybe its a guy thing we learn from growing up competitive by nature that we tend to move on instead of get even. To those women who are really honestly looking, you have a lot of competition with angry intent the guys have to wade through. | |
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| What caused your last serious relationship to end?
Posted: 8/14/2007 6:41:34 PM |
^ ^ ^
Over-the-phone "I love you"s shouldn't be taken that seriously. It CAN really mean "I love you", but it can also serve as a lie, a Judas kiss, or just words to fill dead air.
it was at the ending of our conversation over the phone | |
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| What caused your last serious relationship to end?
Posted: 8/14/2007 6:58:38 PM | oh man...ahoy...whats up with THAT ~ !
We just answered the question. jeeeesh.
I'm doin' absolutely wonderful and with all the zippity doo dah I can muster. Ain't no lookin' back, darlin'....we play the hand we're dealt is all. | |
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| What caused your last serious relationship to end?
Posted: 8/14/2007 9:08:32 PM | Some women unload on any man that contacts them. I don't expect you have experienced that type of response.
As for the question being simply answered: I tend to think of questions and answers as some path to some understanding, not just noise to fill space.
I know a lady who went into a vengeful rage at her soon to be ex for cheating on her. I guess she forgot about the time I ran into her and her boyfriend a couple of years before when she was "happily" married and her husband was out of town. I don't doubt there are possessive men just as unfair but it seems revenge is more often a women's thing. | |
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| What caused your last serious relationship to end?
Posted: 8/14/2007 9:51:07 PM | Ahoytheredave......one can't help but think after reading your posts that you are bitter towards women. You are generalizing by the statement that "revenge is more often a women's thing." Just as when you made the comment in another thread that all cowboys were alcoholic cheaters.....Not all women are the same, just like not all cowboys are the same.............just my honest opinion.
Lets see......what caused my last serious relationship to end??? hmmmmm been so long since I was in a "serious" relationship I can't remember
Actually, it was a difference in parenting skills. | |
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| What caused your last serious relationship to end?
Posted: 8/15/2007 6:23:13 AM | ahoy, I didn't seek revenge, but justice.
I behaved like a lady, with alot of class and upheld my dignity throught the worst days of my life. I had to endure months of shameful disclosures, that I now wish I didn't.
But it made me stronger and yes....wiser. Will I still have the ability to love and trust? Will I ever be able to give myself completely to man? Do I have the ability and compassion to love again?
You betcha. Absolutely.
I feel it was necessary for me to walk thru the fire, I thought was a living hell....to understand what true love really is....and isn't. It just took me 22 years to understand it. | |
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| What caused your last serious relationship to end?
Posted: 8/15/2007 6:55:18 AM | I have concluded that some women on POF use POF to get even with all men and inflate their egos in the process.
Hmm.... just women? I think not.
Maybe its a guy thing we learn from growing up competitive by nature that we tend to move on instead of get even.
Oh really now? I have read many, many, MANY profiles from men ranting about their ex and they want honesty and no games and a woman who isn't after their money or they want this or that or just leave them alone. Their bitterness is probably preventing them from meeting someone nice, because I would NEVER contact a man who has that type of profile and I know most women won't unless she enjoys emotional abuse.
The fact is, it goes both ways. You can't say "the women" or "the men" . There are some of each who are bitter.
I am not bitter, but I do live by the rule, "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me." I will give any man who "appears" to be nice a chance. I will not however tolerate certain self centered or abusive behaviors.
Still  for a  who just wants to enjoy the future.
Learn from the past, but don't drag it around with you like an anchor. You could just drown in this pond. | |
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| What caused your last serious relationship to end?
Posted: 8/15/2007 7:56:09 AM | I did not say all women, I said many. Too much of Carly Simon's song seems to be in play. "I bet you think this song is about you". Guys ranting about their exes is not revenge, its venting. Revenge in divorce or breakups usually involves something of value and often transfering a lot of money to lawyers just to get even. No concern is paid to children's college or other future expenses or aspirations. I chose not to take that route despite plenty of reasons.
As for revenge being more a women's thing, that seems quite real. Studies of road rage show that women commit road rage incidents 50% more often than men even though men are usually more aggressive drivers.
As a guy looking for a long term relationship, my biggest concerns are loyalty, understanding and vengefullness. Do I have some doubts I can find the right mix? Sure but I don't give up easily. | |
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Zootie
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Joined: 7/24/2007
Msg: 37 | |
| What caused your last serious relationship to end?
Posted: 8/16/2007 11:19:33 AM | Well, in a non-personal way, I am glad the forum moderator weighed in reminding people to stay on topic because I thought I was going to have to do that! and god knows I hate being confrontational. Ahem.
My last major relationship ended in February. I have only had two MAJOR relationships - one I married and one, the February one, I did not. It ended because... he was really, really not honest with me, details unnecessary. That said, I also think I got into it for some wrong reasons - I wasn't particularly together then and let's face it, not together is not a good place to start a relationship from! So while I ended it in response to his dishonesty, I am not sure we would have lasted "forever" anyway, as I had gotten into it for the wrong reasons and the more together I pulled my life the less we actually had in common. | |
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Zootie
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Joined: 7/24/2007
Msg: 40 | |
| What caused your last serious relationship to end?
Posted: 8/17/2007 7:53:15 PM | There is an eclectic sighting, too! In fact, more than one! 
Well, for a start, I think we can see a general pattern in that all the relationships discussed are now, um, over.
Also, apparently, no one was responsible for the demise of their relationship, it was all the other parties fault.
Suspicious, that! and yet, somehow, representative of how we ALL view things. even the other parties think it was all the other parties fault. | |
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| What caused your last serious relationship to end?
Posted: 8/18/2007 12:41:50 PM | You're wrong about that.
I was the fault of my last relationship ending.
I work 2nd shift(my fault).
and I got tired of hearing her constantly pining for her ex(my fault too). | |
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| What caused your last serious relationship to end?
Posted: 8/18/2007 4:52:18 PM | 1) Ended January 2005
2) Because he's a pathological liar (pretended to have cancer), didn't have a job (I worked two), but somehow managed to have enough money to drink a 12-pack of Bud Light every night (and threw up to the point where he ruined the carpet and I didn't get my deposit back). 
There's more, and if you knew it, you too would give me the right to be as picky as I am today. | |
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| What caused your last serious relationship to end?
Posted: 8/18/2007 9:48:52 PM | | My last relationship ended in July of 2005 after about a year of dating. Plain and simple, he was and is a great guy, but I knew he wasn't somebody I could spend the rest of my life with. I kept on trying to talk myself into making it work because he was such a great guy, but I couldn't do it. It just wasn't there. He's now happily married and I'm very happy for him. | |
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| What caused your last serious relationship to end?
Posted: 8/18/2007 10:56:43 PM | | I think we see qualities in people they never really had, then we have that one moment of clarity and if we are lucky we act on it. If we do not well thats what puts the next generation of divorce lawers through collage, what a system. | |
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Eyvli
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Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 45 | |
| What caused your last serious relationship to end?
Posted: 8/18/2007 11:26:11 PM |
Also, apparently, no one was responsible for the demise of their relationship, it was all the other parties fault.
...nah, I'll take all of the blame. In the end, it ended because I wasn't willing to make the changes in my life that I needed to in order to be the grownup that I've (hopefully) become.
Sometimes people bump into each other (minds out of gutter now please, thanks) at the worst possible times, like, when one is fantastically sure of their future and the other still can't imagine a life without Saturday morning cartoons.
-D. | |
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| What caused your last serious relationship to end?
Posted: 8/19/2007 8:41:23 AM | I moved to Texas for this guy and after 1 1/2 yrs, of the drinking and drugs, enuff was enuff!! When I went back "home" for vacation and he was supposed to go with and decided to stay behind because he said I needed alone time and time to think. I wasnt even gone 5 minutes and he went (mind you he has no fishing license). When I got back to Texas and found him alright!! with the wrong pole and the wrong !!!
Not my loss!!! He wasnt a great catch anyways....theres more lil fishies in the sea.
(maybe 1 that wont like to "fish") hahahaha | |
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| What caused your last serious relationship to end?
Posted: 8/19/2007 8:55:53 AM | answer to the question - stay on track....... hummmm, well i would say mutual agreement there was no love left in the marriage. My personal feelings was that I had put up with all the b.s. too long and didn't want to end my life taking care of someone who only put himself first. Never once in 20 years did he even put the children first. After I finally realized he had an adictive personality which jumped from one adiction to another, i said to hell with it, i must have an adictive personality to him but WOKE UP and got out.
I've been happier without him ... even if I don't have another love in my life.... than with him.
smiles - and freebird keeps flying on her natural high... life is great! | |
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| What caused your last serious relationship to end?
Posted: 8/20/2007 7:05:01 PM | | I am so sorry you had to find out that way. Mine ended when the ex looked at me and said, "I don't love you anymore, I want a divorce!" just like that. It seems she never got over her ex before me and he beat and cheated on her. Also throw in a little menopause and you have the end of a marriage. I am much better now, it is her loss. | |
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