| How important is money?
Posted: 2/27/2008 8:16:43 PM | | I live with in my means and I don't give a ^&ck about weather people like it or not. | |
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| How important is money?
Posted: 2/27/2008 8:17:23 PM | | It's only important that he have a job. I really don't care how much money he brings in as long as he's responsible with it. | |
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| How important is money?
Posted: 2/27/2008 8:23:06 PM | I think this is a very geographical question . Up here in the North East (NYC & CT area) you better have little more than just enough to cover your bills, if you want to have a wider choice of women to date or eventually marry.
In my area, many (not all) women seem to be little more materialistic then in other parts of the country.
Like I was once told..."It just as easy for a woman to fall in love with a rich man as it is a poor one...so why not go for the more financial secure man?"
Remember , unfortunatly in our society it has been for many years that the man is suppose to take care of the woman.
Word to my fellow guys, if you don't pack a roll of cash you better have an outstanding quality or something, to put you above the rest of the guys, especially the ones that have that cash.
Financial hardship is a major problem in todays relationships, so lets be real about the need for financial security, so why would a woman want to enter into a relationship with a man that is already struggling or just barely financially surviving...yes, I know...that sucks to hear!
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| How important is money?
Posted: 2/28/2008 12:02:49 AM | How important is money..........well it's not very important at all if one doesn't know how to manage it.
Our needs change over time....
-young and single, not important because most have started from zero.
-married with children, extremely important because others are depending on you.
Life insurance is a great cushion to ensure provisions for family dependants.
-married without children, mildly important....time is on your side without the expense
of children.
-nearing retirement, extremely important to build the nest egg which will carry you
into a comfortable retirement.
-divorced, dating and near retirement..........damn, I'm just looking for a guy that can
afford to pay his own way. Apparently, that's too friggin much to ask for.
Good Night Folks  | |
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| How important is money?
Posted: 2/28/2008 1:27:12 AM | For me it's about being responsible with money....... as long as you dont spend more than you earn, then im happy...... who wants to deal with debt??
GND x | |
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| How important is money?
Posted: 2/28/2008 2:09:57 AM |
guys who can drop a few bills on them every week.
Need to broaden your reach beyond the red light district. As to thread title, money is not important, it's just necessary. It can't buy love, it can't buy happiness. It can rent both though. | |
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| How important is money?
Posted: 2/28/2008 5:22:42 AM | I know men who have very little money who only date
wealthy ladies -- and men who are rich who don't care
how rich their GF is -- so I guess it depends on the person. | |
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| How important is money?
Posted: 2/28/2008 6:41:37 AM | How does a guy like you compete? Look for girls who obviously don't have expensive tastes, girls who make their own money and spend sensibly ... or look for a rich gal who will doesn't mind "sharing". Avoid the beauties who have a "price tag" on them if you know you can't "afford" them.
It's easy for many to say that money doesn't matter at all ... but it is easy to believe and say that ... until you live it. When you are with a great person, but can't see each other very often, can't even talk on the phone much, don't have a place to "visit", can't do normal activities when together, and realize that you will never go on a nice vacation together... and will never have any security or financial stability in your future together, .... . It does matter after you reach a certain age.
Those who say that they would live in a tent, as long as they were with a wonderful man would need to do so before they can make that claim... | |
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| How important is money?
Posted: 2/28/2008 8:48:40 AM | OP. Money and Status is everything!!!
Virtually every woman on this thread has answered "it does not matter as long as he lives within his means". Notice the disclaimer "within his means". That is an open ended statement. Someone living in a trailer park might live within their means, but will not have a chance in the dating world. Someone living paycheck to paycheck in high society will get more a$$ than a toilet seat!
So is it important? Absolutely!!!. It overrides personality any day of the week even though the ladies here try to say otherwise. I am going to echo what lostintheshuffle said because he is absolutely correct. I happen to be in a similar situation to him and find it intriguing to see how much attention I get in a business sute versus jeans. It has gotten to the point where I purposely downplay or blatantly lie about my occupation/status to deflect golddiggers! And there is a lot of them!
For instance, if you drive a porche, you will guaranteed get dates and even more marriage proposals. If you happen to meet a woman who truly don't care about money (as she says) and you show up in that porche (without telling her that you have one), she will think she finally met her prince charming (Richard Gere in the pretty woman).
What I am trying to convey here is I have yet not seen a situation where having money is detrimental. Nor have I ever seen a situation where the lack thereof did not cause the woman to shy away unless the male is really good looking (and that will only be temporary as she will eventually leave him too)! | |
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| How important is money?
Posted: 2/28/2008 9:02:40 AM | | I agree it's about being responsible with money and having some ambition to get somewhere in life...doesn't mean you want to live in a mansion but my income and theirs should be able to buy a decent house in a good neighbourhood. For the first time since I was a teenager I'm in the black after paying off lots of school debt...and I intend to stay that way. What I look for is someone who makes good financial decisions and knows that if they live in debt they limit our choices in life as a couple. Or they have to show they work hard to manage debt if they have some. Just because someone makes a certain amount or has a house and a new car doesn't mean they are a good catch...if you spend more then you earn and you can't afford to go away for the weekend or take me out to dinner without using a credit card then that's a sign. | |
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| How important is money?
Posted: 2/28/2008 9:17:09 AM | You compete by being you.
If they don't like "you" .... well, then the whole bloody thing is moot right there, isn't it?
You don't need a lot of money to make another person happy.
Dates aren't that expensive, and even if they were--- you can cheat.
When we were low on funds exgf and I would go to nice restaurants and order 2 appetizers to split. Then we'd play air hockey at the arcade or go for a walk along the pier.
Around here there are a lot of free museums. That's always fun.
So... yeah. Money isn't necessary unless they're only after people with money. If they want you, you compete by providing the one thing that no one else has. The ability to be you. | |
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| How important is money?
Posted: 2/28/2008 10:19:18 AM | | OP; It's been my experience that the motives involved in paring off with someone vary greatly. There are plenty of women primarily interested in being part of a family as opposed to those who are looking to have a good time. Raising a child adds an additional set of requirements you should probably be looking for which would seem to me to preclude the women you seem to be thinking about. | |
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| pink floyd says.........
Posted: 2/28/2008 12:23:09 PM | Money is not evil............it is the need for it that makes it evil.
I guess if one is talking about money in relationships, somebody has to be responsible for the financial planning and 2 responsible heads are better than 1.
I have a sad, funny, but true story to tell about people's perceptions of each other. I dated a young man close to my own age in my mid 20's. I was living in shared accomodation with 2 other people in a house in a low-middle class neighborhood and he had rented his own apartment in an upper class neighborhood. I drove an "Austin Mini" at the time and he a "Jaguar". Of course, he earned more money than I at the time. Neither one of us had help from our parents at that particular time.
Then one day he tells me he wants to end the relationship and of course I want to know why. He says he didn't want to hurt my feelings anymore and I said "you couldn't possibly hurt my feelings anymore than you already have, so give me your best shot".
Well he says, I just feel like you are going to drag me down financially, after all look at where you live and the kind of car you drive and I have finally saved up my first
$10,o00.00 he says. So I said, how much do you owe on your Jag, he says $12,000.00 and how much do you owe and I said "nothing". So I asked him to wait at the door, as I had something to show him. I showed him my bank account book proving I had $35000.00 in savings which I was going use towards the purchase of a condo within the next 6 months. He began to back-peddle his "I want to end the relationship story" and I said "the last thing I ever want to see is the back of your head and your arse heading towards the door." What he didn't know, was that I had been working since I was 13 years old and saving money was more important to me than flashing my cash by driving fancy cars and living in expensive, posh apartment buildings with doormen.
So you guys, don't ever think you are the only gender that gets played for the cash you flash. Well, my grandmother always told me, "never lay down all your cards at once."
Oh, I won't deny that I took great pleasure in sending that bum to the curb and in 6 months time a bought a beautiful condo for $67,000 dollars. Condos were cheap in those days, eh. | |
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| How important is money?
Posted: 2/28/2008 1:17:31 PM |
a mans bankroll should have no importance to anyone else...but the man who it belongs to.
I'd love to hear that same thing mentioned on VALENTINE'S DAY. That's one of the days where the man's bankroll DOES matter, by how much he spends on her that day to get her into the "romantic" sense of things. | |
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| How important is money?
Posted: 2/28/2008 8:07:47 PM | happygilmore2 ... interesting example about the porche. You may be correct in assuming that most women would think they had met their prince charming, but it may surprise you to know that a few women would be ticked off at such a "surprise", and very few would be questioning if you were who they thought you were at all. Personally, someone like myself wouldn't be comfortable riding in a porche ... so it may actually cause problems instead. But then again, someone like me wouldn't ever attract the kind of guy who drives a porche! 
OP .. you have a respectable job ... so I don't understand your worries, unless you are just after the wrong type of girl(s) | |
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| How important is money?
Posted: 2/28/2008 9:41:50 PM |
should be able to buy a decent house in a good neighborhood.
That's the way it really needs to be. At the least -- gaining ground, making planned strides in that direction. A very reasonable expectation in a world lacking a bit in expectations. Like the "try living in a tent first" comment. "This just ain't working out. I have to make for higher ground before the rains set in." The rub. "Can I go with you?" Well you could have...but you didn't...And none of Willie's "But you were always on my mind" Love doesn't really conquer "all" unless you're among some of the 'soon to figure it out' young. Cupid has been known to give rational thinking a contentious run for the money just about every time the two go to racing. Ain't it funny how life rolls. | |
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| How important is money?
Posted: 2/29/2008 2:57:22 AM | | we are not hunters and gatherers anymore because money took its place. as the world evolves and time goes on - different skills, strengths, or items will be needed to survive. lets face it, right now in america u can get anything with money, it is key to survival. so it make sense that women see the man with the most money as the top candidate to spread her genes with. | |
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| How important is money?
Posted: 2/29/2008 4:35:25 AM | IN MY BELIEF .. WHEN A MAN IS INTERESTED IN A WOMAN HE SHOULD PAY.. ALWAYS..WHO SAID THAT THEY WANTED THOUSAND DOLLAR GIFTS..I AM PLEASED THAT A MAN IS ASKING THOUGH.. ... YES.. A MAN SHOULD PAY..IT IS THE MANLY RESPONSIBLE THING TO DO.. PLEASE UNDERSTAND AND MAKE THAT CLEAR TO YOURSELF.. TO ALL MEN OUT THEIR..AT LEAST YOU ARE AWARE OF A MANS PLACE.. I HOPE THAT EASES YOUR MIND.. | |
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| How important is money?
Posted: 2/29/2008 9:21:52 AM | | it is very important to have enough for the basics ..but seriously the best things in life are free,,to be with the women you love and when its mutually felt ,,its priceless | |
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| How important is money?
Posted: 2/29/2008 10:08:17 AM |
happygilmore2 ... interesting example about the porche. You may be correct in assuming that most women would think they had met their prince charming, but it may surprise you to know that a few women would be ticked off at such a "surprise", and very few would be questioning if you were who they thought you were at all. Personally, someone like myself wouldn't be comfortable riding in a porche ... so it may actually cause problems instead. But then again, someone like me wouldn't ever attract the kind of guy who drives a porche!
The porche example was just an illustration to explain how having money is never a detriment. Even the women who do not care about money would consider a man "having money and not showing it" preferrable to a man who have none. The key here is "not showing it". The why is easy; having money is sometimes indicative of ambition, goals, and financial responsibility (depending on how the money were obtained) and these are traits almost all women value.
but it may surprise you to know that a few women would be ticked off at such a "surprise"
No this is never the case if positioned correctly. For example: What if I picked you up after a few dates in a porche when you previously only seen me in a honda! You would be astonished and probably surprised/ticked off. You would also ask the question "where did that come from?". My response would be "I just wanted to make sure you wanted to date me for me and not for what I have". Can you still be upset with me? After all, I just prooved that I am looking for substance! Just some food for thought. | |
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| How important is money?
Posted: 2/29/2008 10:26:54 AM | It's important that he be self sufficient - able to take care of himself. The rest isn't my concern, frankly. It wouldn't be something that involved me at all, really.
I work and make my own money, so I take care of myself - and I always have. I expect that someone be able to do the same and take care of themselves. Neither of us should be depending on the other for anything....period.
And yeah, it would be nice for someone to have the money to do things I want to do with me, but if they can't then either we don't do them, or I go do those things with people who do. Not a big deal.
<div class='quote'>I'd love to hear that same thing mentioned on VALENTINE'S DAY. That's one of the days where the man's bankroll DOES matter, by how much he spends on her that day to get her into the "romantic" sense of things.
If you date women who feel Valentine's Day is a test for how much you care based on a lot of commercials, then you kind of bring that on yourself.
P.S. And I DID say that on Valentine's Day - you just weren't there to hear it. | |
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| How important is money?
Posted: 2/29/2008 10:37:54 AM | This is a very hypothetical, impossible situation, but the principle is solid.
A woman loves two men equally, according to each man's personality, etc. iow, "all things equal" (given that they really can't be).
One man lives paycheck to paycheck. His lady better be prepared to work forever and pray that neither one has a medical catastrophe.
The other man is set for life, and generous. His lady's work/income is completely optional, irrelevant. She has the option of a life of travel and leisure and security.
How many times in 100 decisions will the lady go for the wealthy guy? (rhetorical).
"I've been rich and I've been poor. Rich is better" | |
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| How important is money?
Posted: 2/29/2008 10:45:42 AM | To me it is about finding an intellectual equal and a financial equal, he has his own everything, car, home, job and I have mine and we meet somewhere in the middle, ie, he pays I pay, sort of sharing like......
(quick way to sort a scrounger out - ask him to book the hotel (after they have indicated they want sex on the first meet), they soon run off.
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| How important is money?
Posted: 2/29/2008 10:51:13 AM | | To me money does not mean a thing. Happiness is my first priority. I know money can help with that but if i found someone i really loved i'd de happy living in a tent. If ever i have got any money spare i always use it to buy my bloke stuff. seeing him happy makes me happy! | |
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