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| The shock factor?
Posted: 6/30/2008 8:05:36 PM | Do unto others....
As for meeting guys, well they are everywhere. Thing is, don't be shy when you see someone that intrigues you. I was the kind of guy who would talk with just about anyone, but when it came time to ask a girl out I'd get lockjaw. And hints ? As I told someone today, you could hit me with a hint sledgehammer and I wouldn't get it. This site made it easier for me, and consequently I got over the mental block. I personally wouldn't be offended if a woman asked me out, as matter of fact I'd find it flattering. | |
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| The shock factor?
Posted: 6/30/2008 9:23:39 PM |
Evidentially men still believe this is the way to go instead of being polite, totally shock the woman by saying something in their reply like how they hate games, don't have time for 'em, when for goodness sakes. All you did was reach out to them, make initial contact, isn't that what we're supposed to do here on POF ?
Hunh, I must be misinterpreting this. It reads as though you send a man a message, and somewhere in his response he says something along the lines of how he "doesn't like head games, and/or doesn't have time for them."
I don't know that I've said this in any of my e-mails, but I wouldn't be surprised or upset at myself if I did. There are so many women on here who put in their profile those very words, it kinda seems like a "right" thing to say.
So, with all due respect, could I ask you to either clarify (did your sentence come out the way you intended?), or give us an example of some mail/response situations you've had? (assuming this doesn't breach any POF mail-related confidentiality rules).
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As for my response to the OP:
1) The people who use the forums on this site are *usually* the ones more prone to taking this site seriously. The jokers and bung-holes who send mean/innappropriate return mail aren't likely to come to the forums and explain their actions. Which leaves it up to us grown-ups to try to figure out their intent.
2) In the event that I should receive an initial contact which I don't like, I'd just ignore it. Yes I know I theoretically could hurt someone's feelings by ignoring them. They're probably blasting out mail, they probably get ignored by all kinds of people, may they send their obnoxious mail to someone as immature as they, and live happily never after.
2-b) In the event that I initiate contact, and receive a reply which I find offensive, I remember that the best way to spite one's enemies is through kindness. So, I will send them a copy of a very beautiful poem, which often inspires and delights even the most vile and base of humankind:
You are the pus
Which Infects the slime
That sickens the mold
Which slowly rots
And poisons the maggots
Now chowing down
On the diareahhea
That your mother licked
From a dead rat's anus. | |
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| The shock factor?
Posted: 6/30/2008 10:10:27 PM | eeeeeeeewwwwww ! Charming poetry there master bart, but frankly I don't see the point in being rude back, just want to know...why they think I would be playing games or wasting there time. All I write is hello, welcome to POF and I liked your profile, you know...express interest.
Sometimes the reply from them will be over the top, profane or vulgar...like "nice t1ts" when not one of my pictures ever shows them or even a hint of them.
Maybe some men just get off by being rude or vulgar. They aren't on here to meet anyone, just get back at women in general for their stomped heart or somethin'. | |
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| The shock factor?
Posted: 6/30/2008 10:38:44 PM | I tell them not to write again because I'm blocking them. I figure that's shocking enough.  | |
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| The shock factor?
Posted: 7/1/2008 8:27:52 AM | if I receive a rude or obnoxious email from someone i will mock them using my superior rhetorical skills and vicious sense of humor.
if they are really that offputting in an unintentional sense I just delete their message | |
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| The shock factor?
Posted: 7/1/2008 9:21:05 AM | | some men just have a hatred for women, they just can't deal with any other way, I suppose. Takes all kinds, to make this world go 'round. | |
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| The shock factor?
Posted: 7/1/2008 9:46:01 AM | I can't believe there are actually people out ther who answer these shock value messages!!
I just block and go on!
Truely there are times I get on POF just for the laugh value   | |
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| The shock factor?
Posted: 7/1/2008 3:15:38 PM | No, i took the road most of the women on here say they take and don't reply at all if i look at the profile and am not interested, tho it took once to figure this method out, and since only one has ever answered me when i said hello i stopped saying hello i'm gone  who needs to date when the forums tell me all about what i've been missing | |
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| The shock factor?
Posted: 7/1/2008 4:07:35 PM | If I'm not interested in a girl, I'll either wish her luck or ignore the message. If she sends me like 5 emails & I haven't replied, that's excessive and I'll just block them.
Sending a "shock value" email is a display of low value, just be glad you learned they are like this now, rather than learning it later in a relationship. | |
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| The shock factor?
Posted: 7/1/2008 5:30:09 PM | Or lest we not forget...the guy who doesn't smoke...ya know the kind....I call 'em "brothah better'n you", becayse they haven't selected "must not smoke" as one of his mail criteria. So you email him, assuming he doesn't really care if a woman smokes.
Then they respond with the charming "You're cute, too bad you smoke" email !
All they wanted to do was blast the women who smoke, but they couldn't if they blocked them from contact. Those are the real losers.
I wish they had a "must smoke" criteria to select. Wouldn't that be cool ! | |
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| The shock factor?
Posted: 7/2/2008 10:42:14 AM |
All they wanted to do was blast the women who smoke, but they couldn't if they blocked them from contact. Those are the real losers.
Well, I highly doubt that it's a plot by these men, to lure smoking women into e-mailing them, so they can send an e-mail back saying "too bad you smoke" (Which by the way, I don't think is really that bad at all. ) I really think to call them a loser, for choosing not to date women that smoke is a bit harsh. Infact, I quite respect them for sticking by what they believe.
It's funny to me, actually, that you're sitting here saying that it's unnecessary to send a negative or "mean" response to people that you're not interested in, and here you are calling the non-smoking guys who send you a polite "thanks but no thanks" for not being their type, losers.
Anyway, after reading all of the responses, I think I want to chime in. I didn't really see too many women reply.
I typically ignore or delete e-mails from those i'm not interested in, but occasionally when someone sends something truly offensive to me (whether because of it's content, it's spelling/grammar, or if they refer to me with a pet name or something--excluding guys i'm already friends with, of course.) I can get a bit cold back to them.
I don't think i'm mean, but if it's offensive because of spelling and grammar, let's say, i'll e-mail them a long e-mail explaining the importance of having typing skills beyond that of a 5 year old, in the online dating world, and how unimpressive it is when they send a woman a message that she can't even read, due to the errors. (What can I say, for a while, I had too much time on my hands.)
I'll occasionally e-mail the ball-breaking response to the guy who calls me "baby" or "hun" or some other ridiculous little pet name, without having ever said another word to me. (of course, this all depends on my mood, and just how annoying the rest of the e-mail is.)
Anyway, it's not like i'm going out of my way to be mean, but certain things can really set me off. Usually I only act this way when i've received several similar e-mails in a day. Usually I don't hear back from the men, though the most recent lecture I gave regarding spelling and grammar, waited a week, then wrote me quite a nice e-mail. There are some men out there who take constructive criticisms from us ladies! Bravo to that guy! | |
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| The shock factor?
Posted: 7/2/2008 11:18:39 AM | Lol well it depends...
Mentally and physically unattractive - Sincere Rejection
Mentally unattractive, physically attractive - Dirty, vulgar response
Mentally attractive, physically unattractive - Chat and IM
Mentally and physically attractive - Chat and IM | |
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| The shock factor?
Posted: 7/2/2008 11:33:58 AM | | Lucretia, you don't get it, basically. Maybe because you're too young to understand, or you tried to read to fast. So....read my post about the "must not smoke" criteria again. | |
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| The shock factor?
Posted: 7/2/2008 11:35:09 AM | | Lucretia, ..the reason not many women have replied, is because this is....uh..."Ask a Guy" topics. There again, you're not paying attention or did you indeed have a question or just couldn't stand it. You had to bash smokers. | |
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| The shock factor?
Posted: 7/2/2008 12:51:49 PM | I love how when you disagree with something someone says, or point out a flaw in their argument, they try to find something to personally use against you (For instance, saying i'm too "young" to understand your ridiculous view on non-smokers.)
I really think that you're a prime example of what it is you're sitting here preaching to people is unnecessary. It's unnecessary for you to insult me by saying i'm too young to understand something, just because you didn't like what I had to say. Pretty funny, actually.
By the way, assuming i'm not paying attention because I don't agree with you is definitely the behaviour of a child, or teenager at the very most. Congratulations. I don't recall asking any questions in my original response, so saying I "indeed had a question" is a silly thing to say, also what is it that I apparently couldn't stand? If you're referring to your hypocracy, then yes, I couldn't stand to see you say bashing people when you don't like what they're saying is unnecessary, and then go on to bash someone because you don't like what they say, in the same thread. I didn't have to bash smokers. I didn't bash smokers at all.
I said that your calling someone who isn't interested in a smoker is hypocritical considering your views on the topic at hand. I don't recall saying smokers are disgusting and horrible people or something like that. If you interpret my criticism of your approach to be bashing smokers, because you smoke, well, that's unfortunate, but that's your issue, not mine.
Finally, I do understand that these people have not checked "must not smoke" on their filter, but perhaps they forgot, didn't notice it was an option or never selected any filters aside from gender, as some do. Perhaps they were also just trying to let you down gently, and instead of saying "You're dull" or "I find you quite repulsive", they opted to take the high road and say it's too bad you smoke.
At any rate, because they choose a different lifestyle from you, and kindly mention it to you, it does not make them a loser. In calling them that, you've negated every "nicey nice" comment you've said on this thread as far as i'm concerned.
Women are allowed to reply in "Ask a Guy" just as men are allowed to reply in "Ask A Girl" Infact, on any given thread, you're likely to see equal amount of responses from each sex. I think it's kind of cool, actually, because you get all kinds of different opinions, and don't need to go start an identical thread somewhere else to get them.
Oh, and your responses to me speak volumes of your character. Bravo! | |
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| The shock factor?
Posted: 7/2/2008 1:26:29 PM | I never insulted you, in the least. You took my post out of context or you really don't understand what I'm sayin' at all.
Now what were YOU saying about someone being dull , repulsive and hypocritical ?Do you take comments about your youth as an insult ? I certainly didn't mean it that way. You must have issues with it, not me. The fact is you haven't reach the maturity to understand things from every angle, therefore it's not your fault. Let it go, until you can. | |
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| The shock factor?
Posted: 7/2/2008 3:17:00 PM | Yes, I do think it's insulting when someone says I don't understand something, that I do understand, because of my age. I think it was meant to be insulting, but if you say it wasn't, then my bad for misinterpreting it.
For the record, us "immature" young people dislike very much when "older" people think that we're ignorant, stupid or immature based solely on our age. That might not be what you said, but it's one of those things for future reference, since your comments came very close to landing in that category.
Maybe you can't see things from every angle because you're too old.
I didn't intentionally insult anyone.
You ARE being hypocritical in your views, and if that offends you, stop being hypocritical.
I didn't call you personally dull and repulsive. If I were going to do that I wouldn't hide it within an example of things a man is avoiding saying. I would come straight out and say that you're dull and repulsive.
I never claimed to be a nice girl, and if you interpret me as being mean or insulting, it can't be hypocritical because I haven't made any contradictory statements or expressed contradictory views.
Maybe it's my youth that makes me this way. After all, it's to blame for everything else older women don't like about me. | |
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| The shock factor?
Posted: 7/2/2008 4:35:57 PM | I completely understand how you feel - tho I think some females also take this tack and these are the poor schmoes that it happened to.
Oh I once got a note from a "gentleman" with what was clearly a fake pic - playgirl centrefold type of thing - but silly me responded saying that "the cheeks were cute, were they his?" knowing full well they weren't. He responded with his true face so laffingly I asked him how the old bait and switch was working for him at which point he got quite indignant and insulting with me and that since I'm over forty I am the desperate one. It was quite sad really... what did he expect BS was gonna get him?
<div class="quote"> Evidentially men still believe this is the way to go instead of being polite, totally shock the woman by saying something in their reply like how they hate games, don't have time for 'em, when for goodness sakes. All you did was reach out to them, make initial contact, isn't that what we're supposed to do here on POF ?
It really hurts my feelings. But maybe, they are smartin' from a woman's smack...but heck...I didn't do it.
<div class="quote"> | |
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shimbo
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Joined: 6/15/2008
Msg: 45 | |
| The shock factor?
Posted: 7/2/2008 5:57:15 PM |
Do you take comments about your youth as an insult ?
You're just wrong, Sunny.
Lucretia's problem is not that she's too young to understand.
Her problem is that she's Canadian!
No speak-a dee Ing-lish, capish?! | |
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| The shock factor?
Posted: 7/2/2008 8:19:44 PM | Not on topic but in response to a post in this thread:
Her problem is that she's Canadian!
Hey you up there ^^ take that back ! 
In most places around the world being Canadian is seen as an asset ...... without any complaints about our version of English !!
(OK we may have to make some exceptions for the quick typing young ones)
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| The shock factor?
Posted: 7/3/2008 9:19:58 AM | Crap harvey; that is brutal; I see it among younger guys but now younger girls have big heads and are arrogant.
i like the posts that say, "i'm hot so you be hot; if you contact me and you are not hot in my eyes, be prepared to hear about it."
She emailed me and I emailed back,"your profile makes you not hot; but very arrogant and ugly; C-YA; email me when you grow up and stop acting like Paris Hilton at the VIP room." The next day she changed her profile and apologized.
People; especially under 30; are flat out obsessed with looks. Thats why they are such a mess. I get sick of the arrogant and mean emails to people. | |
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