| He logged into POF while on a weekend Date with me
Posted: 11/8/2007 5:12:39 AM | What a retarded thread from post 1.
"I logged on to PoF to see that the guy I dated had been on PoF. I'm so angry he did the same thing that I'm doing right now!! Rawr! I'm not a hypocrite at all, please give me attention so I can feel like I'm better than him!"
3 month old thread, but seriously... there never should've even been any posts. It should've been deleted for excessive stupidity. | |
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| Online Dating.............
Posted: 11/8/2007 5:26:00 AM | we all go online to check our messages and see who's looked at us too. if you 2 were an item then id say he was still searching. but hell one date doesnt mean he's off the POF market place. Its not rude or tacky since you went online to check your emails and see your POF account. remember whats good for the goose is good for the gander
" old saying "   | |
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| Online Dating.............
Posted: 11/8/2007 5:28:42 AM | Wow! There is an abundance of the "reading comprehension challenged" here after 10 pages....  For those of you who got lost:
1) OP (Original Poster) had a "wonderful intimate FIRST weekend" with NEW guy.
2) OP DRIVES the several (HOURS?) back to HER home.
3) OP walks into HER own house, turns on HER computer, logs onto HER dating site, (his also) and BLAM!
HIS profile shows he has "been online in past 24 hour-3days"! (We ALL know Match shows people online when they have been nowhere NEAR a computer! ALL the time!)
4)She goes ballistic. (Even tho SHE also logged onto same dating site...?!) Now HER profile shows same info..."active within past 3 days". Hmmmmm?
5)She calls/emails him to confront him...he admits he checked his site.
Nothing said about turning it on WHEN she was THERE. If he did it was NOT in her presence.
(of course THAT would be rude...but she didn't even know until SHE went online)
6)She NEVER states she "caught him on his computer while they were together" over the weekend.
7)She also states he is NOT a member of POF ........that is
WHY the ORIGINAL title of the thread is odd...since OP says he is NOT a POF member.
OP has also "disappeared"...sooooo.......guessing that failure of a tryst is way in the past now.
Hope this clears up any confusion...  | |
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| Online Dating.............
Posted: 11/8/2007 12:17:41 PM | . . sounds like someone we know . .
The addiction is strong with some people . .
If he's just looking at Your Profile . . call him Romantic . .
If he's playing 'Tag' with 3 or 4 others . . you may have issues . . ! | |
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darylr
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Joined: 11/27/2006
Msg: 230 | |
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| He logged into POF while on a weekend Date with me
Posted: 11/11/2007 7:39:00 PM | | I never hold to someone after only one date, even if there's been contact on the phone or online beforehand. A first date is just that....a first date. Maybe he's just checking out some of the other "fish" before making a move, ya know? It's happened to me too, the chemistry and the all-of-a-sudden change....in which case I walk on down the hall. | |
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| He logged into POF while on a weekend Date with me
Posted: 11/11/2007 8:09:17 PM | Not knowing how long The OP has been on POF, But those of us that have been here for years,HAVE MADE A FEW FRIEND'S That we will never Date and Chasing Tail is NOT 100% of POF...
 Checking into the FORUMS is kinda normal,ALSO if his profile said that he had meen on-line within the past few days,that would mean that he had not been on line for at least 2 day's...
 So by writing This Thread,you have deminstrated EXACTLY HOW BIG A VINDICTIVE AND CONTROLING WITCH YOU REALLY ARE!!! 
As a rather direct result, what ever you may have enjoyed with this man has been thuroughly Dashed To Pieces by your writing this thread... 
NEXT TIME, Just keep your nose out of his BEE's WAX,
untill you really do have something, unless you would rather just exist alone for the rest of your life...  | |
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| He logged into POF while on a weekend Date with me
Posted: 11/12/2007 5:11:20 AM | I would say you are over reacting. I don't date anymore, but I do like the forums and still come to read and post to them. Besides .... first meeting does not count as a long term, life changing event. He didn't log on at an inappropriate time obviously, because you didn't know until you got back home and logged on.
So the problem would be ?????  | |
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| He logged into POF while on a weekend Date with me
Posted: 11/12/2007 5:18:38 AM | | Perhaps you might give him the benefit of the doubt. Maybe he was checking your profile because he forgot important details about you. He may have been worried that he would confuse you with some of the other fishies in his life, and did not want to offend you. All guys know how mad girls get when we forget important details about the women in our lives: birthdays, aniversaries... etc. | |
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| Online Dating.............
Posted: 11/12/2007 5:45:46 AM |
It would be like being out on a 1st date together and the guy says, "excuse me while I check my email from my online dating site." Some sites allow you to recieve email w/your cell. You have not talked about being an exclusive couple...why would you...it's the 1st date. You have not declared yourself bf and gf...why would you, it's a 1st date...but you better believe that you're gonna feel mighty uncomfortable that he's contacting other woman in your presence.
But It was more than a first date for you cause you said you were initmate with him, right???
Also, I think you may be over-reacting. Some people get on other sites just to check email from other friends. It doesn't mean he is looking for other girls....But did you ask him if he was?? | |
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| Online Dating.............
Posted: 11/13/2007 3:04:00 PM | I met a guy in a pub a few weeks back who was on a POF date - he said it was not the first date with this woman....and proceeded to talk with me for quite some time.
In all honesty, I wasn't impressed. I thought it was a wee bit disrespectful and the truth of the matter is - he would likely do this on ANY date.... | |
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| your not over reacting...
Posted: 11/14/2007 9:16:13 PM | 2-3 months of email, & then after your first get together,
hes showing up active when he was with you?
I dont get it either.?
If he didnt have the decency to control himself while with you, maybe its better that you find out before he says things like ~he doesnt want to look anymore, or that he wants you to be his girlfriend/or woman or whatever you want to call it,how he loves the way you make him feel,how you have brought him back to life, or that your as close as humanly possible to the woman of his dreams, or writes you poetry of being always on his mind, hours on the phone when you couldnt get together because of 80 something miles,singing sweet love songs in a whisper till the wee hours of the morning,calling to wake you up because he works nights,calling from work to say good-night because he works nights... the wee hours,....blah blah, & then find out hes on line,"window shopping" behind your back.....now thats indecent! Not to mention the shellshock & how it hurts,for a very long time... | |
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| confusion......
Posted: 11/14/2007 9:30:14 PM | Maybe I missed some of this one, help me out here....:).what if she went on line to answer a message from somebody that she had been emailing as a friend,long before the 2 of them even met.........?then went to see her hearthrobs pictures because she jst wanted to see his adorable face.....& then saw that he had been active?????then asked him about it and he said he was "just looking "...
If your feeling connected to somebody,why would you even want to be looking at others???? I am not wired that way,am I being nieve? To enter your thoughts and act on it,means that your not really that into him/her?no?.,you dont even think of looking ~ that somebody is in your thoughts,& there is no room for another>>>> | |
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| confusion......
Posted: 11/14/2007 11:57:00 PM | everyone is looking even when they date someone. I think most people are afraid to become exclusive and fear they will miss out on something better. I put men and women in the same category.
travel... | |
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| He logged into POF while on a weekend Date with me
Posted: 11/15/2007 12:33:08 PM | | I hear you Hazel...You never know what you might find! It reminded me of someone on here as well. Its good you checked,! I know of a guy that sexually assaulted someone I know real well, on here. He was found to be visiting her profile just two months ( yesterday) after the assault was reported .(and is still being investigated). She saw that he had veiwed her a few times recently and he wrote in his profile about his last gf being a psycho. No she just called the police on him! She has written yet a third letter asking POF to delete him under these circumstances. Nothing has been done at this time..this guy continues to go on and misrepresent himself on POF. Stalk and taunt her after what he pulled on her.Who else has to get hurt before they do something. She has even offered her personal documentation to prove the assault. So Hazel..you may think you know who you are spending a long weekend with and be very shocked to find out its someone you never expected. Ditch him..its not worth getting hurt over...his ID by the way is octane48. Be ever so careful. The police have said he also has being investigated for being sexually explicit with minors and assaulted someone else as well. Pass it on and be safe out there. You will find a prince of a guy that doesn't need to check his emails while with you. | |
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| He logged into POF while on a weekend Date with me
Posted: 11/18/2007 5:52:06 PM | Granted anybody who is meeting people via the internet should be extra careful about with whom they choose to correspond. That's a given. But the OP has said a bunch of contradictory things here in this thread, so she kind of lost lots of cred in this thread.
Who really knows what happened here? Was it PoF where she met this dude, was it Match, was it some other site that bogusly states people are active when they aren't? If it's PoF, with interesting forums, what's the problem with someone logging on?
Never ASS-U-me. | |
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| He logged into POF while on a weekend Date with me
Posted: 11/18/2007 7:09:29 PM | This thread is REALLY entertaining...esp since the OP has bailed...long long ago. (Gee...no wonder!)
AND she admitted...HE was NOT ever on POF.
She also admitted she NEVER saw him online during her visit. Never ever.
No "rudeness" involved here.
She also admitted that the ONLY way she had a clue HE went back online was ....when SHE went onto the same dating site..HELLO? Ummm...come ON!
Yet...HE was "crude and rude"???? HUH? Jeez!!!!
These type of threads amaze me.
Always...possessive and controlling.
Paranoid. And yet people reading this just jump in calling the poor bloke a "player' and "ass"..WTH?
And not one seems to get the fact that SHE logged into the SAME site as soon as she arrived home to see if HE had been on also? WHAT? The Heck?
I call this High School mentality. sorry.
Childishness. | |
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| He logged into POF while on a weekend Date with me
Posted: 11/18/2007 7:54:00 PM |
Granted anybody who is meeting people via the internet should be extra careful about with whom they choose to correspond. That's a given.
The only significant difference in meeting people on the Internet, is that now, for the first generation in the history of Mankind, we can trace and document the behaviors of people we meet with ease. Liars, cheaters, players and golddiggers existed long before online dating, phone dating, mail brides and the like. In generations past, people relied on word-of-mouth from friends/family to catch them and get the down-low on what they were doing. Now we can check someone's activity with our own PCs. It's the very same thing, just more convenient.
If this had happened 30 years ago, the OP would have said she found out that her dream date called his computer dating service by phone to check with his dating counselor. Or he called his ex-girlfriend, and the ex called her sorority sister, and that girl called the OP's sister, and wa-la, busted. Same scenario, just faster with technology.
So friggin' what. Did she actually expect fidelity from a guy she slept with on the first date? A guy she travelled out of town to sleep with? A guy she made deliberate plans to spend the weekend AT HIS HOUSE? I guess maybe the guy figured she slept with every guy she meets online, so why wait to write her off? "Don't let the door hit your behind on the way out!" | |
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| He logged into POF while on a weekend Date with me
Posted: 11/18/2007 8:14:46 PM | ^^^^^OUCH!Desert"! Hard stand there. WHAT the heck does "WHEN "someone decides
to become physically intimate have to do with sheit?
First date...or 15th. Who gives a dayum?
It is ALL about ALLOWING each person their space.
Communication and a well-established relationship...verbally agreed upon, may equal the poster's concerns...MAY.
Hers did NOT.
First dates, 120th dates are NOT necessarily an "established relationship"..
THAT occurs with joint communications and agreements. PERIOD.
On these Forums I read all the time...one date, a few weeks of calls or emails, an intimate connection, etc. and BLAM! It is suddenly a "Relationship" ...AND.....considered by ONE...."exclusive"....???? Never a verbal decision...?
And the one who never considered that...ends up called an "a$$hole", "player", "creep", etc.
It reminds me of High School. | |
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| He logged into POF while on a weekend Date with me
Posted: 11/18/2007 8:42:55 PM | | To me,"if he thinks he can find someone else that will be better than what we have...he can knock himself out". I don't want him if he isn't sure anyway. All that being said, I don't think that after 2 months of dates that it's time to start pulling profiles, etc. Give the relationship time to develop and don't strangle it with jealousy and rules, etc. If he really likes you, he'll figure that out soon enough, maybe even faster if he meets a few on here that aren't at all what he thinks they are! For me, I get on here to email friends, and I too am addicted to the forums! | |
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| He logged into POF while on a weekend Date with me
Posted: 11/18/2007 8:53:43 PM | | Haha curiosity killed the cat :)............I've seen this too,not while on a date mind you unless maybe while I was in the bathroom heh who knows, and have got a little upset , but no biggy to me now , hell ,I look too, don't mean I'm corresponding with anyone. Big difference between just LOOKING at something then doing the deed. an for us Forum folks ,thats basically all I logg onto here for in the first place lol | |
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| He logged into POF while on a weekend Date with me
Posted: 11/19/2007 12:19:18 PM | If I were on a weekend date...first meeting in person...I would not log onto a dating site...I would respect the person I was with enough to focus on them.
I would discuss it with him(your date)...and ask him directly what that was about.....as other posters have suggested ......he may have been looking for advise, checking email etc...who knows...he does.....so ask him.....
There is a book called "He's Just Not That Into You"...........if you haven't read it...you might appreciate the advise..... | |
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| He logged into POF while on a weekend Date with me
Posted: 11/23/2007 11:24:52 PM | If you're someone who is seeking something exclusive and long term and you really desire someone who understands the meaning of both, perhaps it's wise to keep your knickers on until you've discovered whether this person can realistically do either. So many times I see threads where someone professes to want more but they offer themselves up, body and soul, before giving said individual time to show who he really is and what's he made of--(and I mean in person, in the flesh, not online only).
I understand that exclusivity doesn't happen overnight and that's exactly why I don't believe sexual intimacy should either. Those who have pointed out that you had no reason to concur that you would be this man's girlfriend are saying a mouthful here-- It seems that you're not worthy of "girlfriend status," but there are those that actually believe you're supposed to get naked fairly immediately on the first date or by the supposedly infamous "3-date rule." What a crock of hooey!
If one isn't ready to seriously commit and offer exclusivity (meaning not checking out others to date anymore) then I don't believe that one is in the position to be expecting to receive sexual intimacy either. I don't think it takes a brain surgeon to figure out that there are a lot of men everywhere just looking for the easy booty call, or a brief weekend affair (fwb) and then onto the next serial booty they can score. These men are only able to get away with this kinda thing if women are foolish enough to allow it.
If you want something serious, don't hand yourself out casually. Keep your body on reserve until you have that serious relationship and commitment in hand; other wise this kind of thing will just continue to repeat itself in your dating life. | |
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| He logged into POF while on a weekend Date with me
Posted: 11/23/2007 11:47:50 PM | 10 pages of a 3 month old thread about a game two people were playing with each other........I can't wait for the next "He Done Did Me Wrong" thread.
I think there is a Country song to be made from this ...."Profiles He Cruises, While She Sleeps and Snoozes"! | |
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I couldn't have said it better myself, southernlass.