| He logged into POF while on a weekend Date with me
Posted: 12/26/2007 9:43:17 PM | well hazeleyes,
I would have to agree with you in this case! Even if he was just wanting to get into your pants, and you allowed him to. He would have to be a complete idiot to have not spent all his time with you and making love to you while you two were together. If he did get online to check out whatever, in my opinion he must be a really dumb ass! | |
|
eros83
|
Joined: 9/17/2007
Msg: 302 | |
| He logged into POF while on a weekend Date with me
Posted: 12/26/2007 9:53:26 PM | Hey TheseHazelEyes,
I believe that any communication whether in-person, e-mail, voice conversation, postal mail, etc creates a relationship between 2 or more individuals. If the contact is frequent and consistent as well as intimate, personal or close in any nature -- then it is a relationship of that degree to which each have disclosed themselves and their true intentions.
It sounds like to me that you have formed a friendship or semi-intimate relationship(albeit long-distance) with him over the course of a couple of months. It also seems as though you may have expressed your intentions and understood his to be semi (or fully) exclusive in some senses before you met him. Do you think that the fact that you had a _really_ good time with him the weekend AND STILL checked pof makes the difference? What would you think if you had a so-so or bad time and he checked pof?
Is he only interested in using pof for intimate relationships? If he has other legitimate reasons for using it (forums for instance -- and he's honest about it), that does not involve seeking out other dates --- then I can see him checking it while on vacation with you. On the other hand, if he ONLY uses pof for seeking out relationships and looking for new opportunities, then I think you are rightly so to be offended.
An experiment can be performed to verify what the statement "User was online within 2 days" means.
Is it the past 48 hours as measured by the EXACT minute?
Or is it the past 48 hours from midnight on the day you are current on?
Create another couple of pof accounts and test when the "User was online within 2 days" turns into "3 days", etc...
Another part of me thinks that if you bring this up with him in any form, subtle or otherwise and it turns out that he honestly had a reasonable explanation --- he will not be with you long-term, because it could appear to him that you are jealous/easily angered. I hope it's just a mis-understanding and you reconcile the problem between you both. Good luck! | |
|
eros83
|
Joined: 9/17/2007
Msg: 303 | |
| |
| |
| He logged into POF while on a weekend Date with me
Posted: 12/26/2007 10:48:15 PM | | Hi,Well here goes.Sounds like you came to spend the weekend with someone you thought was worth your time,your gas also.Sounds like he found a way to get on pof while you were there.A total lack of repect for you.Getting on there says to me,lets check out what else I can hook,maybe get them here later after shes away.A user,plenty around for sure on here.Men and women alike.Probably had a old beater truck for a ride,why he didn't come to you.Looking for prey,using words and compliments to get you there.Probably figured you would never know,a sneaky man there.My advice leave him alone before your heart hurts worse than your pride at this moment.Hes a romeo with no concense nor heart,only a hardon for more treats in his bed.... | |
|
| He logged into POF while on a weekend Date with me
Posted: 12/27/2007 6:25:38 AM | Hi,
i was on a date with a guy from this site & he checked his pof messages right in front of me, he even excitedly commented that the woman who had contacted him was earning 50 grand a year.
The guy after that, i had been speaking to for 3 months, we were, as i believed in the same financial situation, i decided to meet him & foolishly borrowed the money to pay the train fare as we had really hit it off speaking,( they do say true colors always come through, ) when he picked me up i asked if he would stop by a take away as i had'nt time to eat, i got fish & chips & asked him if he would like some of my chips as it was too much for me, arriving at his home he opened the packaging & gave me a few of my own chips then cut a large piece of fish for himself. whilst there, he offered me his first ex wife's clothes that were left, knickers included. He told me he had recently been on holiday with his second ex wife, who he kept talking about & was very much still in the picture & kept asking him to do things for her, she also came with his children when she needed them looked after, which she paid him for, he wanted me to be best friends with his ex, as she was his best friend because she was so nice ( hey!, i thought, why isn't he still with her then & best friends tell each other everything!) He was a celiac, with a supposed bad back, therefore he was getting disability allowence, most of his food was perscription, yet he was working on the side, helping to restore houses to sell, he owned a car, a bike & 2 large dogs which were never walked, although he bragged about being knowledgable about dogs. I stated in my profile i did'nt like guys with tweezered eyebrows, he asked me to tweezer his. The only date he took me on was to the peak district, where he asked if i could help pay for parking which was £2. Always wore shorts for any occassion. He also checked his pof mail whilst i was there. I was just grateful he had brought back oozo as i was so put off by him by that time, getting drunk was a blessing in more ways than one. when he drove me back to the station he even asked me for 20p for parking, what a cheek he was so tight fisted, i took enough money to feed myself & he ended up eating from me too. I believe he wanted another woman to pay for everything as his second wife had done....... not me!
 | |
|
| Online Dating.............
Posted: 12/27/2007 3:40:34 PM | double standard: you logged in and you see that as an absolutelly natural just to look at your emails, and if he did the same than you wonder he is a "player"?
look at yourself first before you start judging others!  | |
|
| |
| He logged into POF while on a weekend Date with me
Posted: 12/27/2007 4:52:54 PM | I think it's the worst thing any body could do. If I was with you or any one on a date, I would be to nervous to look at another lady in case you spotted me doing so. I would want this time to go well and hope that things would progress.
He's a waste of your energy I think.
Quiz him about it. watch the body language. then decide what to do next.
Good luck finding the correct man for you | |
|
| Online Dating.............
Posted: 12/27/2007 10:32:15 PM | Of course he logged in while he was with you...That's the ONLY way to get your sign in points! How else will he accumulate enough points to be able to send you that box of e-chocolates??? or the rose bouquet??? Come on now...cut the guy some slack!! Ya Nervous Nellie!!
(I am Sooooo just kidding...what a jack@$$...and to think I spent the weekend alone where is the humanity?????)  | |
|
| Online Dating.............
Posted: 12/27/2007 11:16:58 PM | he could have at least waited till you had gone, yes, very insulting
have you seen or heard from him since i wonder? | |
|
| Online Dating.............
Posted: 1/14/2008 2:49:17 PM | | i agree with u but i think u should have kept him sooooooooooooooo busy he wouldnt hav had time 2 b doin anythin else. sayin that theres a lot more were he came from lol | |
|
| He logged into POF while on a weekend Date with me
Posted: 1/14/2008 3:12:11 PM | hey if it is true you know the connection is going one way but just a side note if you were away for the weekend left Friday and back on Sunday and checked your messages Sunday night it could very well have been just a time frame issue. I mean you long on at 1:00 am Friday morning and it will register 2 or less days till it reaches 12:01 Monday so you could still have had a weekend get away and his profile read logged in 2 or less days.
Think about it you were together for the weekend did he bring his laptop go off for hour or was it on the front desk computer all of which should be signs he is not that into you. just don't judge him before you find out it was not the scenario i suggested i would hate to see you loose the guy from a misunderstanding. | |
|
| He logged into POF while on a weekend Date with me
Posted: 1/14/2008 5:45:44 PM | hey... peek away... if a man is serious he won't keep looking... if he can't help himself then he has a problem with the "afraid i am going to miss something" syndrome and you don't want him anyway... that's the problem with online dating... people keep getting bombarded with messages and it's hard to cut out the noise and focus on one person...
lara | |
|
| He logged into POF while on a weekend Date with me
Posted: 1/14/2008 5:55:14 PM | I look at it like this. Having read your profile I have to say you are a women that is beyond words. Really. Intelligent, pretty, you are active in your community. Why do I bring this up? Because you can and probally do attract men that are also accomplished in many ways. That being said the men you attract are of the alpha variety. Alpha men try to have it all. More money, more fun, more pretty women, more of everything. Sad to say this guy really treated you wrong. I sense you ask this question as you are curious by nature and want to know why. Again one of your many attractive traits. On the bright side you still have you, what more could you want? | |
|
| He logged into POF while on a weekend Date with me
Posted: 1/14/2008 6:05:48 PM | | How about all the dudes on here who are checking out the women while their wife is in bed,or away?....and what's worse,they probably go check out these women in real life too...oh honey,you go to visit your folks,,..I'm going to visit my girlfriends on pof...bet they have a big smile on their face most of the time...jerks. | |
|
| He logged into POF while on a weekend Date with me
Posted: 1/15/2008 5:32:39 AM | This is an old thread and far too long to read every post but I have noticed one thing that happens to me from time to time.
I post to a thread. I go back to my profile to see if it reads and is layed out the way I intended it. I go back to edit and it says I posted it some 5 hours ago, for example. I've stopped checking the clocks in my house, the time on my computer screen etc. to find out why.
It can't even be explained by my mail setttings (correct time zone) or the difference between admin's location (Vancouver) and Toronto. It's just wrong.
Unless he said [pages and ages ago], "oh yeah, I did log on" for some reason and OP thought it was a bogus excuse, then this is exactly what I'm referring to when I say POF, MSN, Facebook etc. have us so much up each other's asses it's sometimes more trouble than it's worth.
I got put on somebody's favourites list when I was fast asleep and have not so much as talked to anybody on mine. So much for people with numbers that are in the triple digits too! | |
|
| |
| He logged into POF while on a weekend Date with me
Posted: 1/15/2008 5:42:35 PM | Did he make it home before you? Did he check his on the way home?
We the people are addicted to the internet. It's like a drug. Go a few weeks without checking your mail and see if you get the jitters... | |
|
| |
| He logged into POF while on a weekend Date with me
Posted: 1/16/2008 10:28:46 AM | if you had been dating for awhile and agreed to be exclusive .... I would agree with you.
this just says that this person is a) still dating others b) maybe addicted to the net c) there was a lull in your time together and he did what he normally does. you are questionning his morals and classiness and maybe your gut is on the money.
it is too soon to know and if it bugs you, ask him about it. actually, he can read about it now on the forums if he was on POF. | |
|
| He logged into POF while on a weekend Date with me
Posted: 1/16/2008 11:06:52 AM | I don't know about everyone else but I've met some people on here that I consider friends and I like to chat with them. Another thing, I have had some great first dates but I learned long ago not to go deleting your profile just because you had one or even a few great dates. It takes time to see what develops. I think it's premature to get all worked up over something so minor. He could have went online to make his profile hidden or to write someone back and let them know that he met someone, (you) and he wants to see where things go.
If you were dating for months and he was still checking his messages you would clearly have a good reason to approach him about this. For now I wouldn't worry about it. It's way too early to worry about such things. | |
|
| He logged into POF while on a weekend Date with me
Posted: 1/23/2008 9:17:21 AM | First of all jumping the gun to fast can be a bad thing. Sometimes you let your paranoia get the best of you because you don't wanna get hurt. But in the end all your actually doing is hurting yourself because your paranoia could force a potentially good person out of your life for not reason. If you think you may have a reason to worry dont push it will all come out eventually if your right. Roll with it
Yes I realize this post is months old,figured it still couldnt hurt to respond | |
|
| Online Dating.............
Posted: 1/23/2008 5:01:00 PM | | You have no control over who he contacts, or if he was on with someone 2 minutes before you came over to his place to have the quality time together that you had built up to. But at least wait until your prey has exited before you are on to the next? | |
|
| Online Dating.............
Posted: 1/23/2008 7:33:08 PM | | I agree with you to some extent. I DO believe that he could have been checking his mail while you were in the shower or something, I don't see anything wrong with that. Once you've been involved for more than a month, I think it's time to consider taking the profile down or stating in the profile that you are involved with someone. It's misleading otherwise. I would be offended if someone logged on while I was sitting there bored, but if you didn't notice him on there, he did it when you were doing something else. | |
|
Home
login 
