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| Online Dating.............
Posted: 8/23/2007 12:17:54 PM | Why wasn't Sherlock Holmes
OR
Columbo called in to investigate this case?? | |
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| Online Dating.............
Posted: 8/23/2007 12:27:42 PM |
Hellooooooooooooooo anybody out ther w/morals anymore???
What does checking email or forums have to do with morals???? It is what it is. Checking my mail here has become like checking my gmail account! I have so many people here that I talk to once or twice a week if not everyday and sometimes I just read the forums if I'm not active there....I am not alone in the explanation I've given here.
I'm wondering why you're here? I mean...gosh, you're his girlfriend and stuff..... ;)
It's going to be ok. Yes, we do this....yes, you need to talk about limits etc when/if you get to that point. But it seems to me that ownership and judgment isn't something you should be delving into at this point. | |
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| Online Dating.............
Posted: 8/23/2007 12:29:00 PM | Wow OP
How did you go from going on your ''first meeting"....to him having a gf?
How do you consider yourself his gf when you JUST met him that weekend?
There's nothing wrong with him going on POF to check his email/messages, sorry, you're expecting too much too soon, unless you two made a comittment that weekend? | |
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| Online Dating.............
Posted: 8/23/2007 12:32:40 PM | Well, I can think of a few reasons off the top of my head why he might have been checking a dating site while you were there:
* reading the forums
* reading your profile to make sure he had something right (favourite food, music, whatever)
* checking the details of a recipe
* absent-mindedly went there instead of the site he meant to go to
* it's his homepage (and he's logged in automatically on visiting the site - a number of sites give you that option), and he was actually trying to go somewhere else
or even
* someone else knows his password and it wasn't him
* the site is wrong (ie it's a bug)
Perhaps instead of posing this question to us, you should be asking him what it was about? | |
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| Online Dating.............
Posted: 8/23/2007 5:01:53 PM |
amongst many in the same muffin pan!
Well, the only thing I have left to say.....is.....does anyone have a muffin? Seriously.....blueberry, with the little crunchy, sugary stuff on top....Or, maybe a peach muffin....peach and raspberry? Dude, you made me hungry for muffins! :) | |
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| Online Dating.............
Posted: 8/23/2007 5:05:46 PM | ~OP~ I've noticed that the "last online" thing on MOST dating sites does not work correctly. I have shown online here for days and days and I was actually in Hawaii at the time, definitely NOT on POF. Other dating sites that I personally have used, will leave you showing online to keep other members online. I personally don't look at those types of things ~ it can make you crazy.  | |
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| Online Dating.............
Posted: 8/23/2007 8:57:56 PM | is really a game wasting time, really. kinda like lottery, buy $1.00 ticket to try the powerball thing. the odds to meet someone right online for 10 or 30 minutes (or even less) is the same as spending hours a day, 7 days a week.
but honestly, pof offers nice place for BS.... | |
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bosoxx
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Joined: 1/6/2007
Msg: 112 | |
| Online Dating.............
Posted: 8/27/2007 9:00:00 PM | I think your right Hazel Eyes,
When I'm on a date I shut the cell off and give who I'm with undivided attention and I would hope she would do the same. This point hit home w/ me once....I was on a date,first date w/ a woman I met here...We go to dinner and while eating one of her girlfriends call,she did say excuse me i won't be long...then proceeded to talk for 30 min.,I left the money for dinner and walked out.She called me later and said I failed the test.She seems to think that her friends are important and my place was lower on the ladder.I agreed w/ her in theory on an emotional level.I said I walked out because your behavior was rude and socially unexceptable.....She said I'm spanish and it's what we do! I said "bye"! | |
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| Online Dating.............
Posted: 8/27/2007 9:07:46 PM | | If I could get a date with a woman like you.I think I be to busy checking you out instead of check the internet out. | |
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| Online Dating.............
Posted: 8/27/2007 9:10:22 PM | She is joking ... right????
Please tell me that this is not a serious post
"Active w/i the last 2 days." What did the guy do wrong again?
I am completely missing the authors point here.
Someone please explain this to me because I do not get it.
My head hurts
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| Online Dating.............
Posted: 8/27/2007 9:16:23 PM | I'm a total space cadet with my home computer and will walk away with it up on a certain site. I've had a lot of various nasty IMs and emails because people think I'm online and ignoring them when I'm not even in the house. This doesn't happen all the time, but sometimes. Also, I have developed many friends here both male and female, so I communicate to them through this site.
So, the point is I most certainly wouldn't worry about it from a first meeting. | |
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| Online Dating.............
Posted: 8/27/2007 9:43:16 PM | Ok, as I see it and call it, I am the same age as the OP and from yesteryear, things were different than they are now. Making a connection for 3 months, then having a rendezvous, makes people often of our age feel as though there is more to it than just passion. Such as g/f. Once the intimacy is deepened then somehow one feels as though there is a commitment to the other. Long distance or not. I'd probably feel the same. BUt now days, things are as they were. Things have turned more superficial than ever before. Granted there are the "old fashioned" relationships that seem to work just as well...but it don't include online dating. If you are still seeing him or whatever, whats the problem?  | |
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| Online Dating.............
Posted: 8/28/2007 11:58:21 AM | | ITS A DATING SITE FOR CHRISTS SAKE ..........IN THE WORDS OF THE JAMES GANG TURN YOUR PRETTY HEAD AND WALK AWAY! | |
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Warm78
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Joined: 8/14/2007
Msg: 118 | |
| Online Dating.............
Posted: 8/28/2007 1:32:50 PM | I am loving this whole discussion. As someone mentioned (I forget where there are 5 pages on this rubbish) this is actually the first date! Regardless of how long you have been chatting.
In terms of checking the online status, thats just plain sad, but then you also appear to have stayed there and had sex. Good girl so only took two-three months of chat and one night in person. My evil mind makes me wonder if there are other lady weekend visitors and you were the lucky one for that weekend lol oh well should not chuckle as you are obviously upset by this!!
Keep the thoughts coming everyone, best laugh I have had for months. | |
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| Online Dating.............
Posted: 8/28/2007 5:12:28 PM | Bosoxx.....You are so right. Goes ta show ya who has class and who doesn't. It's funny cause everybody is taking this soooo seriously except for me. Ha Ha Ha!
I never said we were exclusive and I am certainly smart enough to know that one date does not make him my bf. But all of that is beside the point. The point is that I was invited as a guest to his home for the weekend. I traveled to him. I think it's rude and inconsiderate for a man to be scouting out other chicks while he has a female friend visiting. (btw he was on another site and admited a few days later that he was on that site while I was there.)
I don't care how you look at it....it's tacky.
It would be like being out on a 1st date together and the guy says, "excuse me while I check my email from my online dating site." Some sites allow you to recieve email w/your cell. You have not talked about being an exclusive couple...why would you...it's the 1st date. You have not declared yourself bf and gf...why would you, it's a 1st date...but you better believe that you're gonna feel mighty uncomfortable that he's contacting other woman in your presence. | |
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| Online Dating.............
Posted: 8/28/2007 5:29:59 PM | "Typical paranoid woman !" Too funny, paranoid has no gender bias. Maybe you haven't scanned as many threads as I have, but I've been here a bit longer.
It's really the same old mindset. After "_________" fill in the blank, someone wonders or proclaims they're a couple, boyfriend/girlfriend, involved..
It's not an assumption, how many dates you've had or whether you've been intimate. A relationship and involvement only happens when the two people actually TALK about it and agree to be exclusive.
I personally don't find it interesting, amusing or sad, don't know the word maybe disheartening, that people who meet up and connect, with the hopes of finding that special person seem to find that talking to that person a last resort.
Which to extrapolate further (I like that word) dang, if you have the connection, the chemistry, the communication all that good stuff going on, the things that you really want to know, would be a post on the internet. When many say, go talk to him/her and they reluctantly maybe agree. WHAAA???
It's sometimes even couples that have been together years, have children together...and they choose everything else other than going to TALK to the person, ask friends...etc. I don't know about you, but the fear/hesitancy whatever is holding them back, what kinds of relationships could they possibly be? Or even have in this case a potential of being.
I'm not an expert at all, but I do consider free and unhindered communication about anything and everything vital to any type of relationship, a romantic one all the moreso.
It would be a red flag to me, maybe just to myself, if I were hesitant or fearful of talking to my SO about anything in my life or our realtionship. Then again, maybe we're just different, we HAD that freedom, trust and comfort in communicating anything and everything from the beginning.
May seem weird or strange, but something I'd highly recommend if you can find that with someone. With us, it's one of the solid cores of our relationship. | |
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| Online Dating.............
Posted: 8/28/2007 6:09:46 PM | OP - a couple of things.
#1 - If you and the fella haven't had the "talk" and BOTH of you have mutually agreed you're a couple, you've probably assumed you were a couple. Last thing you want to do is to assume. Until it's mutually agreed upon, you're not a couple.
#2 - it was tacky of him to be on a dating site when in your company.
#3 - could it also be that he was on the dating site, the day you two met, but perhaps a few hours BEFORE you actually got together? Some of the dating sites vary on the way they keep track of logging on.
#4 - this sounds like your first meeting, don't put any more into the first meeting than you should. I think spending a weekend together for your first meeting is probably not a wise idea, unless it's a long distance. The way I look at the first meeting, is simply that, just meeting. | |
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| Online Dating.............
Posted: 8/28/2007 6:11:00 PM | OP - a couple of things.
#1 - If you and the fella haven't had the "talk" and BOTH of you have mutually agreed you're a couple, you've probably assumed you were a couple. Last thing you want to do is to assume. Until it's mutually agreed upon, you're not a couple.
#2 - it was tacky of him to be on a dating site when in your company.
#3 - could it also be that he was on the dating site, the day you two met, but perhaps a few hours BEFORE you actually got together? Some of the dating sites vary on the way they keep track of logging on.
#4 - this sounds like your first meeting, don't put any more into the first meeting than you should. I think spending a weekend together for your first meeting is probably not a wise idea, unless it's a long distance. The way I look at the first meeting, is simply that, just meeting. | |
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| Online Dating.............
Posted: 8/29/2007 3:43:48 AM | No how you feel.
Internet maybe great to meet and make friends but when it comes to finding a man to actually date they also like to see what other fish are out there, is this the new modern way of having an affair i wonder...   | |
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| Online Dating.............
Posted: 8/29/2007 8:16:30 AM | | If indeed he was on-line looking then he is a big loser since you appear to be a beautiful women. But I myself have and still continue to talk with people that I meet on POF that I have not interest in dating. People who I just like to get together with since we share the same interest like The rob zombie concert coming up. Maybe he was telling all the people he was talking with that he has found his someone and is no longer looking. Or again like me he might just get up and leave it on for days at a time. | |
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| Online Dating.............
Posted: 8/29/2007 8:29:22 AM | | In regards to this part: You meet and find that you are having a really great time together. At that point you even talk about getting together in the future as well. You mean people ACTUALLY meet from online or was this all nothing but a dream just?Lesson learned: Online the WHOLE story is not always seen and what appears to be too good to be true USUALLY is. GO SLOW always, and proceed with caution. The faster someone draws you in, the more they may be hiding. Anyone can tell you what sounds good or what they want you to believe online, how can you actually verify it otherwise?Disappointment hurts but unreal expectations destroy. Don't set yourself up for that. Ask questions, if you don't get answers..red flags . If they avoid the questions, move on. Reach that comfort level over time. | |
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