| | I'm not sure if I intimidate guys, or if I am just butt uglyPage 3 of 10 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10) | You're definately not butt ugly so I'd say you're intimidating them. I remember being a teenager. Me and most of my friends were a bunch of chickens when it came to the women back then.
If you really don't want to approach the guys and stay shy and the assumed quit that goes with that then try softening down your looks a little. That strong image you have is probably some of what's scaring them.
If not, try walking around at school (or the mall or the sidewalk or wherever) heads up and initiate eye contact with some of the guys you wouldn't mind going out with. I'm not meaning a little glance here. Look them right in the eye and hold the contact for as long as possible until you walk by. If nothing else, this is a small thing that helps with self confidence.
Another thing to try is come up with some fun ways to pick on some of the guys. You know, make a smart ass comment about them in a fun way so they know you're busting on them but it's still just in fun and you're not seriously being mean. Do it and then carry on (leave them behind) with whatever you usually do like it's not big deal and doesn't really mean a thing to you if they like your or not.
What's with the "I am also fat" in your profile???? From your pictures I just didn't expect to see that. The women that look like the typical model stick figure are too skinny. There are lots of women carrying "a few extra pounds" that are still hot. | |
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| I'm not sure if I intimidate guys, or if I am just butt ugly
Posted: 5/14/2005 11:53:48 AM | Ok - don't listen to rusiancat. First of all she is 53 and extremely condesending towards young people. "Oh, com'on, she is only 18. Of course, she is shy." - as if shyness is entirely attached to being young.
Secondly "She will ditch that clown style of hers. It will not be needed anymore." is not fair. She obviously does not understand today's youth culture. She is 53 and if she is in fact Russion perhaps she does not understand western culture very well. You have every right to look how you want and if you are comfortable with how you look then that is cool. By the same token there is nothing wrong with mixing things up to attract the oppostie sex - I do it - but they are my choices and I am very careful not to compromise who I am or what I am about when I do. There are many facets to me so when I dress up or dress down they are my choices that reflect elements of my style. Just remember that - it is ok to make some changes per se to attract the opposite sex but make sure you can live with yourself by being yourself.
Thridly you aren't ugly at all. Just be confident in who you are and be pround of you. It will be easier to approach guys. Also expect rejection - it is going to happen for so many reasons it is crazy. Just don't personalize everything and remember you are single so playing the numbers game is ok. That doesn't mean date 3 guys at once - it just means if one turns you down get over it and move on.
Anyways you are doing fine and having a forum here to figure this out isn't a bad idea at all but keep in mind only you can be happy with yourself and that takes a lot more than being happy with just your looks.
That's all I had to say - I just had to say something about what russioncat said because it really bothers me. I hate ageism as much as any other prejudice. I get it all the time if I dare ask out any girl in her 20's and I am tired of people who try to make me feel guilty based on what pop culture and TV tells people about males in their 30's or whatever.
Anyways, 'nuff said,
Jim | |
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| I'm not sure if I intimidate guys, or if I am just butt ugly
Posted: 5/14/2005 1:16:57 PM | Wow, someone should rename this thread to how ingorant are you...
When you live in glass houses, don't throw stones.
.. Back to the topic, you are by no means ugly, I think guys are just scared... and guys being around your age are very scared/timid/nervous/ and don't know how to deal.. | |
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| I'm not sure if I intimidate guys, or if I am just butt ugly
Posted: 5/14/2005 2:12:59 PM | BornUnicorn,
I looked at your pictures. You have very pretty features and gorgeous skin.
The problem is with the shock of hair that overpowers your natural beauty. Your glasses, while funky, also take away from your features. And your features are VERY nice, sweetie.
Now it comes down to personal style. You like punk, that is evident. But, the truth is that while it is a definite statement, it really isn't attractive. You asked for opinions so I'll give you mine without wanting to insult you....I remember being 18 but my mother would've killed me if I did anything with my hair or pierced anything but my ears.
Lose the hair colour, the dreads....get some contacts or glasses that actually allow people to see your face. The nose ring is very unattractive. All these things take away from your beauty. All one sees is the statement.
You asked, so there it is. I hope I haven't insulted you. Not my intent. Also, it's only my opinion. One person, one opinion. Based on my personal style. If this is who you are, and you are comfortable, then stick with it. Never be someone you are not.  | |
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| I'm not sure if I intimidate guys, or if I am just butt ugly
Posted: 5/14/2005 2:20:18 PM |
Some of us are born with the ability to repel people, most especially the ones we like......this is not all bad, because the ones we tend to like are world class Losers...
But one day we run across a person that just won't go away,this person is a keeper,if we are smart then we stay close with this person...
CEC, I love this! ^^^^^ | |
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| I'm not sure if I intimidate guys, or if I am just butt ugly
Posted: 5/14/2005 2:25:29 PM | Okay, I think we've already established that:
1) She is into guys who like the nose ring. She just wants to know how to approach them more easily;
2) She has a very beautiful face.
Now all she needs is tips on attracting men. (And I think all men are alike in that they have penises, want to be loved, like sex, hate being bored, want a beautiful woman, etc., regardless of whether they're into nose rings or not).
So let's hear some tips on how to attract a man without changing your looks.
I think it'd be great if some of the men gave some tips on attracting a guy. | |
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| I'm not sure if I intimidate guys, or if I am just butt ugly
Posted: 5/14/2005 3:24:08 PM | Born, well you are a beautiful young lady I don't think that is the problem. I think it probably is your shyness. Alot of guys, especially ones your age want to be around someone fun, not quiet. I know it sucks, not really fair and you are probably a cool girl but first impression are really important especially to people at your age. I was shy around the oppsite sex when I was a young teen. What helped me was I became friends with alot of girls. Just friends, I was able to talk with them because there was no pressure of dating or did they like me and all that crap. Well I found that after awhile I learned how to talk to ladies through talking to my friends. I just started approaching girls and talking to them the way I would of talked to one of my friends. For the most part it worked very well.
Good luck and it will all work out. | |
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| I'm not sure if I intimidate guys, or if I am just butt ugly
Posted: 5/14/2005 10:22:11 PM | Do you hang around punk guys, or?
See, I think you're a cutie, but I'd say you are too "out there" for me, if I saw you with all sorts of piercings, and bright hair (considering I'm an un-official Gap spokesperson, at least by my wardrobe) But, I would think around guys that are into that lifestyle, they'd be all over you like um...pink on your hair? | |
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| I'm not sure if I intimidate guys, or if I am just butt ugly
Posted: 5/15/2005 12:08:02 PM | Honestly, I had the issue myself before, and after asking a few of my buddies they say my first impression people get of me is ****ing, snob, stuckup, intimidating and etc etc. Now, no wonder no one would approach me!!! But I can't change the way I look, but I try to smile a little even when I'm not talking just so I don't look so scary.
Please don't alter any part of your appearance. You decided on your appearance because that is what you want to express. However, if I may suggest a little experiment. Try to change everything about you now and flip it. I mean, try looking "normal" for a week; normal hair, ditch the piercings, glasses are cool, normal boring clothes. Give that a try and see what happens...you never know! | |
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~Jim~
| | Joined: 11/10/2004
Msg: 62 | |
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| I'm not sure if I intimidate guys, or if I am just butt ugly
Posted: 5/15/2005 2:44:15 PM | | Ugly you are not! and as for the nose ring, glasses, dreds, etc. Dont change a thing unless YOU want to, you have found who you want to be. I myself am a some what a shy person but when you find a person that you like just go with your gut feelings, the worse thing that can happen is rejection, that will pass and you move on and try again, it gets alot more easy each time so just try it some time and see.........Good Luck | |
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sarahb
| | Joined: 2/26/2005
Msg: 64 | |
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| I'm not sure if I intimidate guys, or if I am just butt ugly
Posted: 5/22/2005 5:34:50 PM | BornAUicorn! Loose the glasses,thin the face, put curl in your hair and walk with seduction. Look feminine. Act helpless but, be wise and strong. Throw away shyness and start acting like, Rita Hayward. Know your stuff without being arrogant. Share yourself and flirt, but don't give to much away too soon. A lady reveals nothing. Charm them, woo them and flaunt. Make them, want you. Wearing dresses help so does longer hair. Being all woman-will bring the men in droves.
Shyness is the No. 1 killer
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| I'm not sure if I intimidate guys, or if I am just butt ugly
Posted: 5/22/2005 5:40:30 PM | | BornAUicorn. Also, your hair is a great color(character) But look at Babylonia-she's all woman,very beautiful,relaxed,seductive....she knows her stuff. Rare beauty is a hard thing to be blessed with...but it helps find the equal attactive male partner for the next generation. | |
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| I'm not sure if I intimidate guys, or if I am just butt ugly
Posted: 5/23/2005 5:53:29 PM | I just want to say 'Give that Man a huge kiss" what a sweetheart you are.
To the young lady in question! He said it all lady...you look very 'artsy' my son hangs out with the same crowd..they get very deep in the conversations and have very certain views this could be a little intimidating intelligence as said before can be off putting..but dont stop there are men oout there that like woman for there brains as well as their bodies
thankyou for allowing me my 2 cents
maggie:  | |
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| I'm not sure if I intimidate guys, or if I am just butt ugly
Posted: 5/12/2006 11:32:14 AM | Your not ugly thats for shure ^^ personely i thinck your pretty cool looking. that nose ring give you a style ;) and the hair style is as awsome ^^
You just need to find someone open or something.
Personely i would have went on a date whit you for shure :P
Maby guy dont aproach you cause you dont seem open for something? o.O
A smile and a wink alwais do the trick to get a guy attenstion or at elast know how he feel XP | |
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| I'm not sure if I intimidate guys, or if I am just butt ugly
Posted: 5/12/2006 12:15:35 PM | OP:
You are NOT ugly. You're beautiful.
HOwever, you have a VERY distinct look and therefor you'll be destined to forever date guys with the same or similiar looks. Jocks are out. Preps are out. Dressy guys are out.
You'll only be able to score punks and maybe a hippy with that look.
Now, I'm not bashing your look. Like I said, I think you're beautiful. And I have always liked blue hair. I applaud your boldness. Although I really don't dig that thing you got hanging out of your nose.
Anyway, it's NOT NOT NOT your face that is turning guys off. It's your LOOK. It's probably intimidating or just a plain ol' turn off.
Sorry babe. Just my opinion. | |
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| I'm not sure if I intimidate guys, or if I am just butt ugly
Posted: 5/12/2006 12:27:19 PM | OP:
You are NOT ugly. You're beautiful.
HOwever, you have a VERY distinct look and therefor you'll be destined to forever date guys with the same or similiar looks. Jocks are out. Preps are out. Dressy guys are out.
You'll only be able to score punks and maybe a hippy with that look.
Now, I'm not bashing your look. Like I said, I think you're beautiful. And I have always liked blue hair. I applaud your boldness. Although I really don't dig that thing you got hanging out of your nose.
Anyway, it's NOT NOT NOT your face that is turning guys off. It's your LOOK. It's probably intimidating or just a plain ol' turn off.
Sorry babe. Just my opinion. | |
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| I'm not sure if I intimidate guys, or if I am just butt ugly
Posted: 5/12/2006 12:44:39 PM | | I think they are intimidated by you.I have only been approached by men in a public place and they have no clue about me.Welll that and ofcourse this dating site.Never by someone who was in the same class or in the same high school as me.College doesn't count because I go to a all women's college.Therefore I'm screwed for the next four years of my life.The truth is I am really very quiet and reserved so men tend think I'm a mean b!tch or whatever.Let them think that, I know I'm not like that.Goodluck to you though OP | |
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EnRich
| | Joined: 10/31/2005
Msg: 75 | |
| I'm not sure if I intimidate guys, or if I am just butt ugly
Posted: 5/12/2006 1:01:02 PM | | I personally think all those rings and shit on your face are ugly, in turn making you look ugly... Even if that did attract guys, its not the right type of guys you should be dating. I know as a professional, I couldnt even take you out to dinners with my co-workers, or parties with my friends. Thats just my opinion, sorry if it offends you. | |
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