| | how do you know if someone is out of your leaguePage 2 of 11 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11) | How do you know if someone is out of your league?
I'd say it was more to do with a way of life.... and absolutely nothing to do with actual 'looks', job etc.
More to do with interests that bring you together.
Having said that, through the Internet and especially on this site; it's been great to get to correspond with different people from all walks of life, ages and sexes with whom I probably would never have got to get to know in the normal course of life... I'm very thankful for that. | |
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| how do you know if someone is out of your league
Posted: 8/17/2007 3:12:12 PM |
sorry this is a pity thread.
it's no more a pity thread than you are a stunner 
nobody is in or out of leagues, if you are yourself then people pick up on this. if your a moody swine, then people perceive you as a moody swine. if your a funny swine, then people perceive you as a funny swine.
... such quaint turns of phrase you use there 
to answer that though, if 'nobody is in or out of leagues' then why do leagues exist?.. are all football clubs of one league?..
Of course people fall into leagues too, and I agree entirely with how christi put it, well done that lady.
I know exactly when someone is in my league, I am in theirs, or we are both in neither. It's called 'natural selection' . | |
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| how do you know if someone is out of your league
Posted: 8/17/2007 3:17:11 PM |
This topic has been discussed before and i again cry BULLCRAP
It may have been discussed in Joplin Missouri but we are discussing it in the UK forums, is that good enough for you now madam. 
If i was to be honest i'd have to admit that some people are out of my leauge, but one never knows if there is something there that might make things happen unless you try. | |
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| how do you know if someone is out of your league
Posted: 8/17/2007 3:22:23 PM | in my experience whenever there is a match between 2 people with diffent backgrounds or incomes etc -read 'out of eachother league'- the problems are usually felt and raised by the one who feels 'inferior'. Don't feel inferior to nobody, do feel ok with yourself and accept that we all are the same and different in many ways.....
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| how do you know if someone is out of your league
Posted: 8/17/2007 4:26:23 PM | On what basis do you conclude someone is out of your league? I guess the obvious criterion is in terms of physical attractiveness but there's also income, intellect, class, profession, culture, etc. (Yes, I do realise some of these may be inter-related).
I have been out with a couple of women that I thought were "out of my league" and had more than transient relationships with them. It turns out my fears were misplaced, so does that mean my initial fears were more an indication of deep rooted insecurity? I don't know but they happened all the same.
I now work on the basis that no one is out of my league, having had the benefit of these self-affirming past relationships. Perhaps they were good for the ego, if nothing else?
If you don't ask, you don't get... | |
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QI2
| | Joined: 8/14/2007
Msg: 31 | |
| how do you know if someone is out of your league
Posted: 8/17/2007 4:44:39 PM | Hmm, in my experience, if you're a man over 40, most women (or those on dating sites anyway) are out of your league (or at least think they are!) If you're also bald and grey (even if you've been that way since you were thirty) then *all* women are. 
It's not a cheery truth with which to live but at least it has the advantage of certainty! | |
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| how do you know if someone is out of your league
Posted: 8/17/2007 4:57:35 PM | MSG 32
f you're a man over 40, most women (or those on dating sites anyway) are out of your league (or at least think they are!) If you're also bald and grey (even if you've been that way since you were thirty) then *all* women are.
I think you are missing the mark, but I understand what you mean.
Some women here like that sort of look, and your age will only discourage the very young or the very old.
OT There are various tells. It can be based on vast differences in looks, age, intelligence, or whatever. I don't let these things put me off too much unless there is a yawning chasm between us. | |
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| how do you know if someone is out of your league
Posted: 8/17/2007 5:06:33 PM | thanks for all your replies, it has been great reading most of them, i started this thread because my best friends brother seemed to be able to get girlfriends at the drop of a hat, after a long time of wondering how he had such luck, we learnt that it was his cheeky smile, he looked abit like a short john travolta in grease, the cheeky chappy,
weather you girls think john travolta is a top bloke in the good looks department you'll have to let us know
but dispite having to pick of the girls, he was always trying his luck, i guess because he could, but the girls seem to to like that, a guy with dangerous written all over him,  | |
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| how do you know if someone is out of your league
Posted: 8/17/2007 5:41:38 PM | ^^^^^^^^^^^^
obviously not lol,
still feeling gutted
that im over the hill
i thought i was still a chick
cos someone called me a little
girl the other week n i believed
them xx
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| how do you know if someone is out of your league
Posted: 8/17/2007 5:44:31 PM | So if the sweaty villiage moron with no teeth , bath once a month , torn clothes, and a quarter in his pocket , ( since he has no job and lives behind the gas station ) lets pretend he walked up and asked the wonderful lady if she wanted to go for a drink ....... NOW since no one is out of your league .... your going to say ok sure sweetie lets go ?
Nope I sure as heck wouldn't.What drink could he buy me for a freakin quarter.Seriously I wouldn't.Just because we are all in the same league don't mean we have to like everyone,want to spend time with everyone. | |
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| how do you know if someone is out of your league
Posted: 8/18/2007 12:37:38 AM | | I remember watching an experiment on tv where people had to match people with a partner based on the way they look. There were 6 men and 6 women and the task was to guess who was coupled with who. I got 4 out of 6 right. The experiment was supposed to prove that we choose a partner who is fairly close to ourselves in the looks department, e.g. a stunning man will choose a stunning woman and an average man will choose an average woman. It doesnt always follow I know - you just have to walk down the high street to see that but there may be some truth in it. | |
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| how do you know if someone is out of your league
Posted: 8/18/2007 12:41:53 AM | Re: Msg 39
'Still waters run deep'
Bet he'd have more interesting conversation than the bloke with his large bank account if you'd ever bother listening to him.
Life experience isn't gained from living a 'normal' life you'd be amazed what you can learn from the people you seem to look down upon from your pedestal.
And consequentally if you find shallowness in your usual 'type' then maybe its because gaining wisdom isn't neccisary if you spend 9-5 in an office and the rest of the time surrounding yourself by the superficiality of a modern consumerist lifestyle.
Think anyone who uses the term 'moron' in this thread is up for both barrels.
Just my twopenneth 
OT: No-one is out of my league. Flow of conversation and some sort of physical attraction is the first part of a relationship. If it aint there it aint. No point stressing about it, get on and enjoy the rest of yer day if it aint meant to be! | |
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| how do you know if someone is out of your league
Posted: 8/18/2007 2:43:43 AM | I agree that no-one is out of my league (or anyone elses) but we do have to accept that chemistry, life's experiences, current lifestyle and physical attraction matter and that its hard to find real compatibility. Some of those factors can be strengthened or weakened by your own self-confidence and if you keep knocking yourself you will struggle. Unfortunately dating sites can both build and demolish confidence.
We are just different with none being better or worse than another. Leagues implies that there is a pecking order. | |
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| how do you know if someone is out of your league
Posted: 8/18/2007 2:49:23 AM | I am sorry.. But this "no-one is out of anyones league" thing is absolute rubbish. If that was the case then Janet Street-Porter would be calling up Brad Pitt and asking him out.
We all know that there are people who are better looking than ourselves and go out with people who are on the same attractiveness level as themselves.
I know that there are people who are waaaaaaaaay out of my league and then there are people whos league i am way out of.
Its called reality. | |
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| how do you know if someone is out of your league
Posted: 8/18/2007 2:54:22 AM | The league system is born by self-doubt in ones self, and lack of confidence, this could be due to bad experiences in the past, or the fear of possible rejection in the future. The only cure for insecurity, is to have the confidence, to dare to risk rejection, and then if you are rejected, to still be positive in yourself to try again.
We are all but flesh and blood, inhabitated by spirit. People may have preference over what qualities and physical attributes, they find attractive in another, but before you can love another, I believe you should know, and love yourself. A positive outlook can not only benefit you in terms of dating, but in all aspects of your life, as such, I have preference, but believe we are all in the same League ! | |
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| how do you know if someone is out of your league
Posted: 8/18/2007 3:23:40 AM |
how do you know if someone is out of your league
Well, if they look at you like you're something the cat dragged in, you can be pretty sure they don't think you're in the same league.
Of course there are leagues, to deny that is to deny basic human nature. How you deal with it is different again though. You can punch out of your league, deal with the knockbacks and sometimes get lucky; or, you can take the easier route of going below your league and having a higher score rate. Whatever does it for you.
Don't forget though that the league thing is pretty superficial and you'll never know whether someone is suited to you without getting to know them.
A gorgeous face and bod may hide an empty head.
A face like a bag of spanners can grow on you and become adorable. | |
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| how do you know if someone is out of your league
Posted: 8/18/2007 3:28:25 AM | so who decides who's stunning and who's not?
the eye of the beholder, don't you think?
are some of us so up our own botties
that we think we're better than someone else?
in my opinion its our own personal choice
rather than leagues
couldnt have put it better meself
and didnt lol! totally agree x
VVVVVVVVVV | |
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| how do you know if someone is out of your league
Posted: 8/18/2007 3:42:47 AM | Leagues are for people who compartmentalise their lives. They can be overcome but only if people believe they can overcome them.
If someone is 'out of your league' because they do not fit into your own view of yourself ie she earns more than me, he is too good looking for me - does this mean that they suddenly become 'your league' because she moves to a lower paid job or his face is scarred in an accident.
I was with someone for a several years and he kept saying I was out of his league, I think it was a big part of our downfall. He loved being able to tell people about me/my situation but I don't think he ever accepted it himself and it made him feel that he wasn't good enough. I came from a different background /different world/different league from the people he knew. Outwardly he made something of himself but inwardly he couldnt leave his roots and kept telling me to find someone better than him.
Don't put people into 'leagues', don't judge on profiles, try and get to know someone, anyone, everyone and then see if you are compatible or you could be missing out on that someone special to be part of your life.
If you are an emotional match, work round any other issues because they can all be overcome if both people want to overcome them. | |
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| how do you know if someone is out of your league
Posted: 8/18/2007 3:48:11 AM | I think that most know in advance those who are definitely out of their league, for whatever reason. Could be attraction, intelligence, age, whatever.
Then there is the proof, as it were. When you tentatively send a well thought out message (ie - something more than 'Hi, how are you?') to someone who you think would be a good match for you, and then they just blank it without a reply. It then becomes clear that they are SO in a league well below yours. | |
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| how do you know if someone is out of your league
Posted: 8/18/2007 4:17:13 AM | A couple of days ago a guy who's profile I viewed messaged me to say , ' Sorry darlin but you are definitely not in my league ' . I replied most politely ' I realise that darlin - people like yourself never reach the Premiership'
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